The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington At The Wax Museum

September 6, 2020 at 10:18 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

There was a Saint Bernard drinking a barrel flask of doubling gin
This side of the town of Duddlington
When he was approached by the duck called Samuel Puddlington

“Good sir,” said the duck as he raised his hat
Which scared off an approaching ravenous cat
“I’m looking for the wax museum in town,
Am I on the right path? Or am I out of bound?”

Said the big furry giant, “Go two blocks yonder and make a left
Like the present Communist Pope of faith bereft,
There you will find the town’s wax museum
With washrooms closed so outside you’ll be peein’. ”

So Samuel Puddlington followed the big dog’s directions
And passed by the store Big Al’s Furniture Selections
There across the street was the wax museum
And following the dog’s advice, outside did his peein’.

He paid his entrance fee and entered the space
which was filled with men and women of varied time and place
There was Marie Antoinette who lost her head
and Robespierre whose Reign of Terror was dread
Until at Guillotine himself, he made his own bed

There was Cleopatra the Queen of The Nile
And Jekyll trying to hide Hyde in his nail file
And meeting his end on the banks of the Thames was Jack the Ripper
Who was swallowed by a heroic giant fish named Flipper

“That definitely explains why they never found Jack!”
Said Sam as he pulled a feather out of his back
Down the hall were comic book characters Richie Rich and Sad Sack
Plus Wolfman Larry Talbot leading the wolves in the pack

In contemporary times
As he jotted down rhymes
were Donald Trump with his silly looking toupee
And Joe Biden whose mind was lost on the way
While in the background, Stalin’s and Mao’s ghosts were at play.

At the end of the hall Lincoln sat in his Ford Theatre seat looking sad
For the play title author’s American cousin had gone mad
Neo-Nazi and Confederate vampire battled Bolshevik and Maoist
And meditating on the sidelines was Buddhist and Taoist

Lincoln’s last words heard by Mary Todd were
“We will visit the Holy Land and see those places
hallowed by the footsteps of the Savior”
like an empty tomb that once marked where a grave were
“There is no city on Earth I so much desire to see as Jerusalem”
Site of where Isaac was saved by the blood of the ram
And the world’s humanity was saved by the blood of the Lamb.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday September 6th
2020.

Permalink 2 Comments

A Delightful Duck Called Samuel Puddlington

March 22, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, Poetry) ()

A Delightful Duck Called Samuel Puddlington

The lovely Latin señorita that danced with the delightful duck called Samuel Puddlington

Here’s a poem I wrote almost 3 years ago when the delightful duck called Samuel Puddlington and his friends the froggy green little frog and the big-eared hare that munched on a carrot orange and fair as well as the lovely Latin señorita that Samuel danced with did not have to practice social distancing:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/05/03/the-duck-called-samuel-puddlington-a-poem/

Permalink 2 Comments

The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington At Lake Louise: A Poem

December 30, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , )

He was the duck they called Samuel Puddlington
His girlfriend said he left things muddlington
since he often danced with other women
of the human variety at great estates while drinking gin gin
said she, “I find this neither fowl nor fair”
and left him for a strand of monkey hair
that had fallen from the American Trumpster’s toupee
that disgraced Scots German Donald who said there would be Hell to pay
unless Congress caved in and built him a wall
Sam took the news well and went to another grand ball

When he had finished dancing up a storm
like John Travolta with an itchy tape worm
his frog and rabbit friend suggested they go to Canada
and ski while wearing a bandana

So they headed way out west to beautiful Lake Louise
the gem of the Blue Canadian Rockies
They skiied here
They skiied there
and did so without underwear
but seeing as how they were animals no one minded
the same not the case for pot smoking Justin Trudeau who was fined-ed
for displaying nudity in public
while ho-hoing like Saint Nick

Later while having dinner at the Chateau Lake Louise
his rabbit and frog friend both started to sneeze
perhaps long underwear they should have worn
for they came down with colds and went to bed forlorn

Sam stayed in the dining room and finished his dinner
in dancing, skiing and eating he was always a winner
He noticed a gent had left his briefcase on a table
Being curious like oxen in a Nativity stable
He went over and took a peek
while finishing his soup cockaleek

They were the files of Carson Cody Albion Private Eye
a legendary immortal shamus detective guy
Sam helped himself to a gravy dipped French fry

Inside was an old black and white photo
black and white like Kansas for Toto
before reaching the colourful land of Oz
A land far away from reindeer and Santa Claus

The photo was of the legendary Jaguar Woman of New Orleans
a shapeshifting cat woman whose dress came apart at the seams

On a note next to the photo, Albion had carefully written
in writing so small, it could easily be flea bitten
if fleas would ever eat someone else’s words
but such thinking is for the birds
thought Sam like a duck out of water
as he watched bourbon getting the best of a drunken otter

Albion had written “The Jaguar Queen of New Orleans
whose dress in a 1930s jazz club came apart at the seams
is none other than Semiramis the legendary Queen of Babylon”
and Samuel Puddlington thought, What the Heck is going on
but that, dear reader, a tale to be told in a future New Year dawn

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday December 30th
2018.

Permalink 8 Comments

Reblog of The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington: A Poem

December 29, 2018 at 11:02 pm (Humour, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , , )

A poem about a duck called Samuel Puddlington that I wrote over a year ago.

Dracul Van Helsing

Samuel Puddlington The Duck looking very dapper

The duck called Samuel Puddlington was going to the grand ball
wearing a spiffy bow tie made him look 6 feet tall
It was going to be a grand event
attended by the Duchess of Kent

And so the duck waddled his way into the limousine
and sat next to a froggy green
“Ribbit! Ribbit!” said the frog
as he sat on a bump on a log.
“Rabbit! Rabbit!” said the big-eared hare
as he munched on a carrot orange and fair.

The limo pulled into the grounds of Mossdale Hall
packed with limos, the cars were at a crawl
Samuel Puddlington got out of the car
and inquired, “Good man, do they have a bar?”.
“Of course, you ninny,” said the chauffeur
while the rabbit stopped to wash his fur.

To the house the three went,
rabbit, frog and ducky gent
They knocked on the big front door
on…

View original post 248 more words

Permalink Leave a Comment

The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington: A Poem

May 3, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Humour, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , , )

Samuel Puddlington The Duck looking very dapper

The duck called Samuel Puddlington was going to the grand ball
wearing a spiffy bow tie made him look 6 feet tall
It was going to be a grand event
attended by the Duchess of Kent

And so the duck waddled his way into the limousine
and sat next to a froggy green
“Ribbit! Ribbit!” said the frog
as he sat on a bump on a log.
“Rabbit! Rabbit!” said the big-eared hare
as he munched on a carrot orange and fair.

The limo pulled into the grounds of Mossdale Hall
packed with limos, the cars were at a crawl
Samuel Puddlington got out of the car
and inquired, “Good man, do they have a bar?”.
“Of course, you ninny,” said the chauffeur
while the rabbit stopped to wash his fur.

To the house the three went,
rabbit, frog and ducky gent
They knocked on the big front door
on which hung the head of Thomas More
“Too bad King Henry didn’t get around to burying him,” Sam remarked
while the estate’s Saint Bernard dog laughed and barked.

The butler arrived and opened the door
behind him was a luxurious floor
The three animals entered and wiped their feet
if a rug had been there, the floor would still look neat.

Samuel Puddlington headed straight for the bar
waddling faster than a Daytona race car
Said he, “I like my martinis shaken not stirred.”
The bartender replied, “Don’t be a James Bond nerd”.

Puddlington delivered him a karate kick with one of his orange webbed feet
The bartender hit the ground like the dust bowl on Texas’ Pecos Pete
Said the duck, “I’m Double-O Seven, you half-brained twit
to tangle with me, you must show true grit.”

“Now that you’ve tangled, how about the tango?”
said a voice as melodious and sweet as a mango.
It was a lovely Latina senorita
who got goose bumps looking
at this fowl male Nikita.

So the duck and the senorita held hands
(or should I say feet?)
And they did dance to an Argentinian beat
The duck and the Latina lass
they really did show such class
a dip here
and a raised skirt there
they soon became the talk of this county fair.

And so now you’ve met Samuel Puddlington the Duck
whose bill gives a greater bang for one’s buck.

Samuel Puddlington The Duck with bill

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday May 3rd 2017.

Permalink 15 Comments