The Head On The Wall In The Borneo Bar and Grill

October 23, 2014 at 8:27 pm (Horror, Humour, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , )

The Head On The Wall In The Borneo Bar and Grill

There was a head on the wall in the Borneo Bar and Grill
looking at it made people want to take a pill
A real authentic head from Borneo said the owner
which made it a head without a boner
so the head was all
making him not tall
the man whose head it was
beheaded by his head-hunting ‘coz
and so it happened on a dark and stormy night
the sort of evening that’s designed to fright
that the customers sat there
and the head without hair
decided to come to life
causing much strife
biting the head off someone’s wife
he attached his head to her body
the look was somewhat gaudy
for there were no transgendered types in this redneck town
seeing one would have caused many to frown
the head decided he didn’t like it either
so it grabbed a sharp screwdriver
and used it to behead the bartender
putting an end to some drunk’s bender
he attached his skull to this new corpse
causing the drunk to metamorpse
and the drunk left
feeling quite bereft
he swore off drink and joined AA
became a sober farmer making hay
but as for the rest of the crowd in the bar
all searched for their keys to the car
but the head and the bartender’s body were swift
it grabbed an axe in a jiff
and quickly beheaded all
moving fast from wall to wall
good thing that carpet wasn’t ordered
as the blood on the wood floor chortled
it would have made for quite the steam cleaning bill
as it was the videotaped crime scene made for quite the Internet thrill.

-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Thursday evening
October 23rd

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The Pumpkin Patch Chainsaw Massacre

October 18, 2014 at 7:56 pm (Horror, Poetry) (, , , , )

The Pumpkin Patch Chainsaw Massacre

Nighttime falls
your skin crawls
because you’re in the Halloween Pumpkin Patch
with the date you fancied quite a catch
This is the 13th year of the Trembleton Farms Big Scary Event
you were so excited your dad’s car now has a dent
but you’ll worry about that after midnight
when werewolves howl and vampires bite
but for now you’ll enjoy the scary fun
as you chew on your hamburger bun
Ghosts and ghouls and witches too
jump from behind these gourds shouting boo
you jump and scream
your girl holds you like a dream
and then you notice a little trodden path
so you say to your better half
“Let’s go down here!”
She says, “Really dear?”
so you grab her hand
and say, “It’ll be grand!”.
And down and down you go
What lurks there… friend or foe?
It’s pretty dark
this walk in the park
what’s that you hear?
A noise so queer
Sounds like a chainsaw
cutting pumpkins raw
your knees start to shake
and your belly turns to fear
you look to the ground
and see a severed ear
What the Hell is going on?
Body parts strewn across the lawn
you’re still holding your girlfriend’s hand
in this field of bloodied sand
but then you discover that is all
and then your skin really starts to crawl
where’s the rest of her?
then you see the best of her.
Her lovely head sits astride a pole
her eyes have that fiery glow
you open your mouth to scream
your own head comes apart at the seam
but look on the bright side
as your head rolls on the bloodied tide
your father won’t kill you for the dent when you get home
as your tortured spirit seeks a place to roam.

– A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Saturday October 18th

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