Amadeus Emanon and Pan Deux At A Saint Ninian’s Day Debate On Scottish Independence

September 17, 2014 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon and Pan Deux At A Saint Ninian’s Day Debate On Scottish Independence

“What’s in a name?” William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the Scottish National Party Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP) for The Eildon Hills asked his Scottish audience in Edinburgh at a Saint Ninian’s Day debate on Scottish independence.

Saint Ninian (360-432 AD) was the first Apostle of Christianity in Scotland.

William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas was of course speaking for the pro-independence Yes Scotland side of the Scottish independence debate.

His opponent on this occasion was Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who was a sitting Welsh member of the Westminster Parliament in London) who was speaking for the No side anti-independence UK Better Together movement.

“Scotland the Brave,” William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas shouted, “as the song title says. My fellow Scots, be brave as our forefathers who fought the tyrant Edward I of England were brave. Be brave as our forefathers who fought for Bonnie Prince Charlie at Culloden were brave. Be brave and vote yes to a free and independent Scotland this September 18th. Be brave as we know Scotland surely is. Scotland the Brave! Yes, Scotland.”

William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas left the stage with one fist raised in the air.

He received a standing ovation from his audience with the exception of the members of the Orange Order who sat on their hands.

Tears ran down the cheeks of the Orange Order members’ faces.

Not due to anything that William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas said.

They were still mourning the recent death of the Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast, Northern Ireland.

The moderator of the debate then called on the man who would be championing the Orange Order’s cause this afternoon- the far-left hardline Marxist-Leninist British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley.

Magog went up the platform to the microphone.

He recognized a few people in the crowd.

Among the familiar faces was one Amadeus Emanon the personal concert pianist to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set whom he had met on a few occasions.

Another was Pan Deux a Scottish bagpiper who seemed to have really hairy almost goat like legs under his tartan kilt.

Pan Deux had been quite literally driven out of the City of London as his incessant bagpipe playing had kept most of the city awake at night.

As a result Pan Deux took the high road and went up to Scotland where his talents were far more appreciated and he had since embraced the Scottish independence movement.

As Magog continued to look around, he spotted Sangita Patel Douglas the lovely wife of his debate opponent William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas.

She looked resplendently beautiful and incredibly sexy in her lilac coloured blouse, short red tartan skirt, black silk fishnet pantyhose and red spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

Magog felt himself becoming sexually aroused which was a problem for the Welsh werewolf British Labour MP because every time he became sexually aroused, he turned into a werewolf.

The particular lycanthropy virus that he carried had this effect- he not only turned into a werewolf during the full moon but also whenever he became sexually aroused.

The antidote for the particular lycanthropy virus he had was buttermilk

If he drank buttermilk prior to a sexual encounter, he would not turn into a werewolf.

If he drank buttermilk if he unexpectedly became sexually aroused, this would also prevent his turning into a werewolf.

Alas he had not drank any buttermilk beforehand nor did there look to be buttermilk anywhere in the vicinity.

He must get a grip on himself he told himself.

Get himself under control he said to himself.

Stop thinking about sex he ordered his psyche.

“Well,” Magog began, “it’s as the Baptist couple who had sex while standing up said… ‘united we stand, divided we fall’… so too must Britain stand united…”

There were murmurings around the hall as he said this.

“Oh God,” the atheistic Marxist MP thought to himself, “what am I thinking?”.

He turned to look at Amadeus Emanon and as he did so, he suddenly noticed the New Orleans songstress Angelique Dumont sitting next to him.

She was wearing a stylish black evening dress slit up the side and ravishingly sexy red silk nylons.

“Oh dear,” Magog thought to himself.

He was a big fan of the New Orleans actress and singer who appeared in many West End London musicals that he attended just to see her.

Already he could feel the Lon Chaney Jr. Larry Talbot style whiskers appearing on his face and eating and drinking the last of his morning aftershave lotion.

He ran behind the curtain and started howling like a werewolf.

“Mr. Chairman,” William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas rose to his feet and addressed the debate moderator, “I really must protest this unusual behavior currently being displayed by my opponent the Honourable Member from Westminster. Such howling and snarling such as coming from backstage is definitely uncalled for. I’d hardly expect such beastly animalistic behavior coming from a Welshman. I’d expect such ghastly sass from a Sassanach but not a fellow Celt.”

“Do something,” Sangita Patel Douglas whispered to Pan Deux.

Pan Deux started playing his bagpipes to drown out the sound of the howling and baying at the absent moon coming from backstage.

Amadeus went up on stage and started singing that old Scottish song Donald, Where’s Your Troosers?

Unfortunately the only version he knew was his co-employee Renfield R. Renfield’s version which was even more colourful and risqué than the original:

“Oh, I went out on the Isle of Skye
I got goosed by a fruity guy
All the laddies say hello
Donald, where’s your troosers?

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low
Flashing my kilt along I go
Waving my dickie to all my friends
Donald, where’s your troosers?” .

Edinburgh police were called to quell the ensuing riot as the moderator and chairman declared the debate over and the meeting adjourned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 16th
2014
The Feast Day of Saint Ninian

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Amadeus Emanon: Scotland Bound

September 15, 2014 at 7:20 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon: Scotland Bound

Amadeus Emanon was taking the night train from London to Edinburgh.

Accompanying him was his friend the New Orleans Vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont.

Hence the reason for taking the night train.

Amadeus Emanon was going to meet his friend Pan Deux who was the official campaign bagpiper to William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the Scottish National Party Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP) for the Eildon Hills in the pro-independence campaign for Scottish independence in the upcoming September 18th referendum.

Amadeus was going to accompany Pan Deux, William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas and the MSP’s lovely wife Sangita Patel Douglas at various campaign rallies in these final days of the referendum campaign.

As the train crossed the border from England into Scotland, Amadeus could hear the sound of beautiful gentle and melodious singing voices from outside the train.

He looked out the window and saw beautiful Scottish pixies dancing in the glen.

The lovely lassies of Scottish fairie folklore with their huge green eyes and masses of wild dark hair danced and sang,

When Amadeus comes to Scotland, then sing and dance with glee,
for then after many centuries shall Scotland be finally free.

The train engine seemed to sound a salute as it raced past.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 15th
2014.

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Pan Deux and The Scottish Independence Movement

August 31, 2014 at 6:05 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Deux and The Scottish Independence Movement

Amadeus Emanon was reading an email from his friend Pan Deux.

Pan Deux was a genetically created half-man half-goat satyr who had been created by Set Enterprises.

Pan Deux was not the first satyr created by Set Enterprises.

He was the second.

Hence his last name Deux- French for two.

The first genetically created satyr made by Set Enterprises’ Chief Research Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had been Pan Goatee.

But due to Amadeus’ carelessness in reading and signing the wrong forms at the Set Enterprises’ Shipping and Receiving docks, Pan Goatee had ended up being sent out on the wrong lorry and after a highway accident had become irrevocably lost to Set Enterprises.

So Dr. Rocher had hastily created Pan Deux after the original Pan Goatee was lost.

Due to a miscalculation in DNA sequencing that Dr. Rocher had made, Pan Deux was unable to play Greek pan pipes like the original Pan Goatee.

Instead he played the Scottish bagpipes.

He also wore tartan kilts that seemed to accentuate his furry goat legs and hooves.

He also ate haggis.

Since Pan Deux also did not have the DNA of an abominable snowman yeti and homicidal death heavy metal singers in his genetic make-up like the original Pan Goatee, he was not a psychopathic serial killer like the former nor was he able to astral project like the yeti of the Himalayas or Pan Goatee.

Instead he made his living playing the bagpipes at weddings and funerals.

He was now playing the bagpipes at pro-independence rallies across Scotland as campaign bagpiper to William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP) for the Eildon Hills.

Mr. Douglas was a member of the Scottish National Party (SNP) and was slated to become the first Foreign Affairs Minister for an independent Scotland should the Scots vote in favour of independence this coming September 18th 2014.

Pan Deux enjoyed campaigning with William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas.

He also enjoyed his wife Sangita Patel Douglas’ cooking.

She made a particularly good curried haggis.

Pan Deux urged Amadeus to come up to Scotland and try it.

Amadeus decided that he would do that.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 31st
2014.

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