Haiku About James Bond 007

September 10, 2013 at 6:01 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , )

The dashing James Bond

martinis shake women stirred

a license to thrill

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Jack O’ Hare On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

November 10, 2011 at 10:03 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

He was a bunny
with no money
but he was cool
and not a fool
so he was hired on Her Majesty’s Secret Service
reporting to a man by the name of Purvis
who loved his secretary’s round curvis
also loved by Theo-Dan
and many a breastfeeding fan
but back to our hero Jack
and not the luxurious rack.
Jack went out in search of Dr. No
mad scientist on the go
when No became Yes
oh what a mess
come to the test
it’s certainly the best
take your eyes off that breast
and focus on Jack
not that rack
Jack’s our hero
no Agent Zero
but Double 0 Eleven
next to Bond’s 007
he likes his carrot juice shaken not stirred
his bow tie attire seldom preferred
save by a nerd.
When Goldfinger raised his finger
Jack did not linger
but to the tune of modern pop singer
punched that lunatic a real zinger
and put him through the ringer.
Pussy Galore was certainly no bore
Jack for one certainly didn’t snore
and whipping out his big stick
he evened the score.
Sean Connery was Jack’s mate
outside the gate
that saved the world’s fate
for Bunny and Man
they did have a plan
whenever the world’s shit
used to hit the fan.

-A poem about Jack O’ Hare
the bunny rabbit known as Double 0 Eleven
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
written by Christopher Van Helsing
Thursday evening November 10th 2011.

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