Sekhmet, Set and Bastet

November 17, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Radio, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The year was 1938.

It was the month of November.

20 years earlier the Egyptian vampire Set’s tomb had been dug up in Egypt by Oxford trained Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury.

In fact, Set’s tomb had been opened at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month- the same minute the Armistice ending the Great War came into effect).

Set now lived in London, England where he had amassed a fortune.

Set was also one of the world business oligarchs supporting Hitler.

Not because Set was a Nazi.

But because Set thought Hitler would destroy Stalin.

Set hated Stalin because Stalin had arranged the murder of Set’s mortal fiancee back in 1924.

Sir Winston Churchill knew that Sol Invictus Set (as the wealthy businessman Egyptian vampire called himself in London circles) supported Hitler.

Churchill happened to run into the Egyptian lion headed goddess Sekhmet in the Egyptology section of the British Museum library one evening.

Sekhmet agreed to spy on Set for Churchill.

The goddess turned herself into an Egyptian teen-aged girl calling herself Sekhmeta and showed up at Set’s doorstep claiming to be a distant descendant of Horus (who was Set’s nephew) thus making herself Set’s niece (a great great great x great niece several times over).

Set agreed to let Sekhmeta stay with him.

One night 80 years ago, Set caught Sekhmeta listening to American jazz and jive music on the radio instead of doing her homework.

Set promptly administered a spanking.

Rubbing her behind and reaching for a pillow, Sekhmeta said to Set, “I’ll get you for that, Uncle Set.”

“I’m sure you will,” Set laughed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet was rising up behind an FBI agent and his girlfriend in a movie theatre to strike.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 17th
2018.

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Diablos Nocturna At The NATO Summit In Newport Wales

September 12, 2014 at 7:47 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Diablos Nocturna At The NATO Summit In Newport Wales

The NATO Summit in Newport Wales was winding down.

Most of the world leaders had left.

And MI-6 agent Diablos Nocturna who had overseen security operations at the summit was watching the shutting down of the summit.

He saw Monica Dhaliwal his liaison with CSIS (the Canadian Security Intelligence Service) approach looking very attractive and stylish in her white blouse, blue jacket, tight blue skirt, black silk pantyhose and striking cerulean blue spiked stiletto high- heeled shoes.

She was definitely the reason he had enjoyed working this summit so much.

She flashed a warm smile as she stood face-to-face with him.

“So,” she flicked her hair back as she spoke, “how ever did you come up with the code name Diablos Nocturna – Devil of the Night?”.

“From medieval legends of the incubus,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“The male demon who slept with beautiful women in the night?” Monica Dhaliwal smiled again.

“The same,” Diablos Nocturna nodded.

“Say who was that woman who looked like the singer Rihanna and was dressed in a Dior red evening gown and hob nobbed with all the world leaders at all the summit dinners?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“That’s the Paris-based billionairess and Egyptian Vampiress Isis,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“Vampiress?” The female CSIS agent was shocked.

“Yes her brother, brother-in-law and arch-enemy the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set lives in London,” the MI-6 operative answered.

“So you mean there really are such things as vampires and vampiresses?” Monica Dhaliwal adjusted her skirt.

“There are indeed,” the MI-6 agent replied.

“In my university days,” Monica Dhaliwal began stroking her hair, “I’d heard talk of a legendary Canadian vampire hunter by the name of Dracul Van Helsing. Does he actually exist?”.

“He does,” Diablos Nocturna nodded, “I’ve heard of him.”

“This London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set,” the CSIS operative inquired, “does he have anything to do with Set Enterprises the British research and development firm that’s said to be engaged in secret and very controversial genetics experiments?”.

“Yes, he owns it,” Diablos Nocturna took note of a news channel helicopter in the distance, “you might also have heard of his controversial corporate Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering the notorious Renfield R. Renfield. He has quite the reputation in international espionage circles.”

“Renfield R. Renfield works for Set?” The CSIS agent had indeed heard of the ruthless and totally psychotic individual that Western intelligence agencies turned to as a last resort when it came to dealing with the vilest scum of the Earth.

There were rumours that The Blacklist TV series’ character of Raymond Red Reddington was actually modeled on Renfield R. Renfield.

“Yes he works for Set,” Diablos Nocturna answered.

The MI-6 agent invited the CSIS agent for a drink in a nearby Welsh pub.

As they approached the pub entrance from the street, Welsh werewolf (although most people didn’t know that he was a werewolf) British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley came rushing out of the pub.

“They don’t have any buttermilk in this pub,” Magog Rhys Petley gasped, “in fact, they don’t seem to have buttermilk anywhere in town.”

He went running down the street shouting, “Buttermilk. I need buttermilk.”

“Quite the eccentric character,” Monica Dhaliwal looked down the street after him.

“That was Magog Rhys Petley a Welsh Member of Parliament at Westminster,” Diablos Nocturna stated, “Obviously a man who enjoys his buttermilk.”

They entered the pub.

. . .

“So what was this Vampiress Isis doing talking to all those world leaders?” Monica Dhaliwal asked Diablos Nocturna after they sat down.

“She’s hoping to use NATO to destroy Vladimir Putin’s Russia,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“I see,” Monica Dhaliwal looked puzzled, “and why does she want to do that?”.

“Because it was a Russian nuclear submarine that used a laser death ray to disintegrate the spaceship that was returning her brother, husband and lover Osiris to Earth from the star system of Sirius back on December 21st 2012 and she’s vowed vengeance ever since,” the MI-6 operative replied.

“I see,” the CSIS operative felt she was in a dream.

“All part of a long-standing family feud that originated in Egypt millenia ago,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “when their brother Set cut up Osiris into 14 pieces and scattered the body parts throughout Egypt. Isis who was married to Osiris managed to find all the parts save one and put them back together again and using Egyptian magic managed to resurrect Osiris. But then Set managed to cast a Black Magic spell on Osiris transporting him and exiling him to a planet in the star system of Sirius. So Horus the son of Isis and Osiris who was also Set’s nephew buried Set alive in a tomb. Set’s tomb was then discovered and opened on November 11th 1918 at ironically enough exactly 1100 hours Greenwich time when the Armistice ending the First World War came into effect. Set fled the tomb after his sarcophagus lid was taken off and he’s been wreaking his havoc on the world ever since.”

“I see,” Monica Dhaliwal sipped her Chai tea (which she was surprised to see offered in a Welsh pub), “and how was it that Osiris returned to Earth on December 21st 2012?”.

“It was because of the Black Magic spell that Set cast on Osiris,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “for ancient Egyptian witchcraft Black Magic spells like most modern food and dairy products had an expiration date on it. And the expiration date for the spell exiling Osiris to the star system of Sirius ended December 21st 2012 on our calendar. It was an expiration date of which the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Hopi Indians were aware. Their prophecies about this event gave the History Channel a lot to talk about on its programs throughout most of the first 12 years of the 21st Century. For all intensive public purposes since nothing appeared to happen on December 21st 2012, they’ve scrambled to try to find a replacement and think that endless reruns of American Pickers will somehow capture the imagination of the television viewing public. If, like Isis, subscribers to the History Channel knew what really happened on December 21st 2012, they too would be calling for Vladimir Putin’s head on a silver platter.”

“So for Isis, all hopes of Osiris’ return have vanished into thin air like disintegrated particles from the after effects of a laser death ray?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“Yes, having one’s anatomical body parts reduced to the sub-atomic level is certainly more of a challenge to put back together again than just being cut up into 14 pieces,” Diablos Nocturna admitted, “but it so happened that leading Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius happened to be in the area of Vancouver’s English Bay at the time and happened to use a mirror and the sounds of the sea from a large sea shell he was holding to collect the disintegrated particles from the laser death ray explosion and put them into a working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider he had in his rowboat with him at the time.”

“So the particles of Osiris’ sub-atomic structure were gathered into Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius’ working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“Along with the sub-atomic particles of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl who was arriving in a space ship from Saturn’s moon Titan in the same vicinity at the same time and was likewise disintegrated from the laser death ray fired by the Russian nuclear submarine that was illegally trespassing in Canadian coastal waters at the time,” Diablos Nocturna answered.

“Wow, I never heard about that in my History of War and Conflict Class at UBC,” said Monica Dhaliwal who was a recent graduate of the University of British Columbia prior to her recruitment by CSIS.

“Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper covered up the whole incident to prevent a possible war with Russia,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “and Harper’s NATO ally U.S. President Barack Obama is still working on a strategy to respond to the whole incident. He may come up with such a working strategy at the same time he finally comes up with a strategy against ISIS- that is the Islamist terrorist caliphate not the Paris-based billionairess Egyptian Vampiress.”

“So whatever became of the particles that were placed inside Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius’ model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider?” the CSIS agent asked.

“They’re now in the Vampiress Isis’ secret subterranean laboratory below Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris,” Diablos Nocturna replied, “although it’s not as secret as she thinks it is since MI-6 knows all about it. There Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius and a number of other of the world’s leading scientists are working to put the particles of Osiris back together again.”

“Why is the Vampiress Isis’ laboratory located beneath Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris?” Monica Dhaliwal inquired.

“It’s my understanding that Isis is a big fan of the late great British actor Charles Laughton,” the MI-6 agent answered, “and particularly enjoyed his 1939 film The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“So are they having any success putting the particles of Osiris back together again?” The CSIS agent looked at the pattern in her cup of chai tea.

“Well according to a theoretical research paper written by a professor of particle physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,” Diablos Nocturna put a little pepper on his dish of Welsh rarebit, “an ET gray’s laser death ray gun fired in reverse into the surrounding atmosphere might be able to put the particles back together again.”

“So all Isis has to do then is to get her hands on an ET gray’s laser death ray gun,” Monica Dhaliwal picked up her fork to sample her own dish of Welsh rarebit.

“That’s right,” Diablos Nocturna nodded, “and there may be a bit of a problem getting that.”

On the radio in the Welsh pub was playing the latest release from the American music group Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers with their lead vocalist Sekhmet singing the lyrics that were also the title of the song, “Mr. ET Gray, I’m So Sorry I Lost Your Laser Death Ray Gun.”

In the distance outside the pub could be heard the melancholy haunting sound of what sounded like a werewolf howling.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 6th
2014

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Nero Wilson On The Arsenio Hall Show

May 30, 2014 at 6:18 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Nero Wilson On The Arsenio Hall Show

Nero Wilson was getting a haircut in a Los Angeles barber shop so he’d look more like his hero the Roman Emperor Nero when he performed with his band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers on The Arsenio Hall Show tonight.

Nero Wilson’s cousin Charlie Wilson (whose band stage name was Bud Lou) the band’s electrical guitarist was standing in line in a Los Angeles gun store hoping to buy himself a gun.

The reason why Charlie Wilson was buying himself a gun was because Sekhmet the band’s female singer was going to wear an authentic ET gray’s laser death ray gun inside her belt for the band’s appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show tonight.

So Charlie Wilson thought he’d wear a good old authentic American handgun inside his belt for their appearance.

The trouble was as Charlie Wilson was standing in line inside the gun store, he was complaining to everyone in line that here he was a rock ‘n roll musician and he was still a virgin.

As soon as the gun store owner heard that, he immediately denied Charlie Wilson permission to buy a gun when the electrical guitarist came up to the till because being a virgin, the man was obviously mentally ill.

The gun store owner didn’t want to be held responsible for another Elliot Rodger style incident like the recent Isla Vista killings at Santa Barbara.

Not that the gun store owner was concerned about loss of life (if he was concerned about loss of life, he wouldn’t be in this business). He was more worried about potential lawsuits from potential victims’ families for selling a gun to a mentally ill person… like a virgin (to quote a Madonna song title).

So Charlie Wilson left the store a dejected man.

He wasn’t able to get laid.

And he wasn’t able to get a gun.

Later Charlie Wilson’s younger brother Dave Wilson (whose band stage name was Abbott Costello) the band’s drummer arrived in the same gun store later to buy himself a gun.

If Sekhmet was going to wear an authentic ET gray’s laser death ray gun in her belt during the performance on The Arsenio Hall Show, then he was going to wear an authentic American hand gun tied to a pony tail on his long heavy metal headbanger style hair.

As Dave Wilson stood in line inside the gun store, he boasted to everyone in line about his numerous sexual conquests as a drummer in a rock and roll band.

The gun store owner took note of Dave.

Nothing mentally ill about that guy he thought to himself.

In fact the man seemed to represent the personification of the apotheosis of the American (wet) Dream.

When Dave reached the till, the gun store owner sold him enough guns and ammunition to have lasted an entire division of the U.S. Army a whole year at the height of the Afghan War.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield sat at the back of the theatre during this night’s filming of The Arsenio Hall Show.

As soon as the show’s host Arsenio Hall introduced Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers and the band started playing, then Renfield R. Renfield the world’s first and only genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human would shapeshift into a hamster and run up on stage and crawl up Sekhmet’s lovely black silk nylon clad leg and then remove the authentic ET gray’s laser death ray gun from her belt and then run off stage heading straight for the exit door.

Arsenio Hall spoke, “And now ladies and gentlemen… here they are… the band who’s currently playing at The Tropicana Nightclub in downtown Los Angeles… Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers…”

The audience started applauding as the band burst into a rendition of their hit song I’ll Give You The Moon If You Give Me The Finger In This Traffic Jam.

Nero Wilson was wearing a Roman toga around his body, leather sandals on his feet and a laurel wreath in his hair as he played the electric violin.

Charlie Wilson was wearing a t- shirt with Mr. Bean’s picture on it and some purple and gold plaid pants and some yellow sneakers as he played the electric guitar.

Sekhmet was wearing a fringe skirted lion’s skin mini dress, black silk pantyhose and gold spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes as she sang, “You better watch out ’cause I’m lifting my skirt. I’ll give you the moon if you give me the finger in this traffic jam…”

Around her waist she wore a belt with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.

And of course inside her belt was tucked the authentic ET gray’s laser death ray gun.

Dave Wilson the drummer was wearing a black shirt, black pants and black shoes as he played the drums.

His long hair was tied in a pony tail.

Attached to the pony tail was a 44 Magnum.

Suddenly women in the audience started jumping up and down and screaming “Mouse! Mouse! There’s a mouse in the house!”.

A nerdy looking bookish type guy with glasses ( who had also been denied a gun permit that afternoon) said, “Actually, I think it’s a hamster.”

The hamster started crawling up one of Sekhmet’s sexy and shapely black silk nylon clad legs.

“Oh God, that feels good,” Sekhmet moaned.

Nero Wilson stopped playing the electric violin and turned to her saying, “I don’t recall those lyrics being in the song.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Sekhmet shrieked ecstatically as she leaned backwards on to the floor and lifted her already short short skirt.

“Good Lord, she’s outgaga-ing Lady Gaga,” Arsenio Hall spewed Gatorade out of his mouth and all over one of the cameras as he spoke.

The hamster grabbed the ET gray’s laser death ray gun out of her Egyptian hieroglyph belt and then ran straight through her legs.

The gun went off.

But fortunately it was just on the Shock mode and not the Kill mode.

“The mother ship of all orgasms,” Sekhmet shouted in delight about the out-of-this-world experience she just had.

The hamster flashed the happiest hamster face of all time at the camera and then ran out of the theatre.

At that point, Charlie Wilson’s smart phone went off.

It was a text message coming in from the bully of his old high school graduating class back home in Cleveland, “What a loser you are, Charlie. There you are out on the West Coast in California and even a hamster is able to score before you do.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 30th
2014.

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Renfield Recalls Conversation With Sekhmet

May 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Recalls Conversation With Sekhmet

As Renfield swam in the hotel swimming pool, he recalled the conversation he had last Saturday night with Sekhmet the lead female singer for the band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers after their on-stage performance at The Tropicana Nightclub.

During the performance he had looked around for any sign of the ET gray but couldn’t spot any.

After the show he went backstage and ended up talking to Sekhmet.

Renfield was still dressed in blackface having performed an impromptu Al Jolson minstrel show performance in a Chinese restaurant earlier that evening much to the horror of embattled Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

So Sekhmet naturally mistook him for an Afro-American and Renfield played along speaking in an American Deep South southern accent.

Renfield told her that his name was Merlin Houdini Johnson and that he was the shortest player on the entire Los Angeles Clippers basketball team.

Renfield said how much he enjoyed their performance and particularly her outfit.

Sekhmet said that she’d be wearing the same outfit when they performed on The Arsenio Hall Show a few days hence.

Renfield said that he really loved her fringe skirted lion mini dress and her belt with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.

What would really give the finishing touches to her outfit, Renfield suggested, would be if she could get her hands on a genuine ET gray’s laser death ray gun and put it inside her belt while she sang.

The resulting fashion ensemble would be an out-of-this-world experience and would make the Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers performance on The Arsenio Hall Show the most talked about performance in television history ever since The Beatles first performed on The Ed Sullivan Show back in February 1964.

Sekhmet blew an eyelash when Renfield spoke these words.

As a matter of fact, Sekhmet said, as she adjusted her dress and her belt, she did know how to get her hands on a genuine ET gray’s laser death ray gun.

Splendid, splendid, Renfield temporarily reverted back to his British accent, then he’d look forward to seeing her on The Arsenio Hall Show.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 28th
2014.

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Sekhmet Explains The ET Gray

May 22, 2014 at 6:14 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sekhmet Explains The ET Gray

Nero Wilson sat in the hotel dining room drinking orange juice and eating pancakes.

It had been a couple of days since he had discovered the ET gray in his hotel bedroom closet.

He found out that the ET gray had been introduced to his band’s lead singer Sekhmet after the open-air desert concert outside Mesa, Arizona by a groupie of the band named Lana who had then made out with the band’s drummer Dave Wilson (stage name Abbott Costello).

Sekhmet had hidden the ET gray in her suitcase telling everyone that it was just a teddy bear a fan had given her.

And so the ET gray had been in her suitcase the whole time they had driven from Arizona to California.

The ET gray had then been in the closet in Sekhmet’s hotel room but he had gone out in the night to take an extraterrestrial leak and when he came back in the darkness, all the hotel rooms had looked the same to him so he entered Nero Wilson’s room and closet by mistake.

Stories about Nero Wilson’s finding the ET gray in his closet had hit the Internet the same way a diarrhea ridden acrobatic knife thrower’s shit would hit the fan.

Of course one good thing about the story was that it made for two sold out performances the past couple of nights at The Tropicana Nightclub a small venue in downtown Los Angeles where his band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers were performing.

Plus he had also been invited to be a guest and have his band perform on The Arsenio Hall Show while he was here in Los Angeles as a result of the story about him and the ET gray.

. . .

“I see six young people in Iran were arrested for filming a tribute video to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy,” Amadeus Emanon remarked as he ate his Happy Meal from McDonald’s.

“I suppose the assholes who govern Iran don’t want anyone in the country to be happy,” Renfield R. Renfield replied as he ate his Filet ‘o Fish.

“I suppose not,” Amadeus answered.

Amadeus then noticed that Renfield was booking a British Airways flight from London to Los Angeles on his laptop.

“Why are you flying to Los Angeles?” Amadeus asked.

Renfield winced.

He dare not tell bigmouth chatterbox Amadeus that he had been hired by their boss’ Archenemy the Vampiress Isis to steal a laser death ray gun from an ET gray.

Nor that the ET gray had shown up in Los Angeles according to the Internet’s leading social networking sites.

So Renfield said, “I’m going to see how my porn movie company in Orange County is doing.”

It was perfectly true that Renfield owned a small pornographic film studio in Orange County and he occasionally checked in from time to time to see how they were doing (not to mention personally auditioning young actresses who were hoping to break into the industry).

“Oh I see,” Amadeus decided to change the subject, “that Prince Charles while visiting an Immigration Museum in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada compared Vladimir Putin’s recent actions to Hitler’s actions in the 1930s.”

“He did?” Renfield suddenly turned white.

For it was Renfield’s latest project and goal and dream in life that he be awarded a knighthood from The Queen sometime this year.

Renfield immediately went on to Facebook and unfriended Vladimir Putin.

. . .

“I’m going to kill him,” Russian President Vladimir Putin shrieked and foamed at the mouth to Russian Vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva.

“Who?” Svetlana asked, “Charles, Prince of Wales for comparing you to Hitler?”.

“No,” Putin went apoplectic, “Renfield R. Renfield for unfriending me on Facebook.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 21st
2014.

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Nero Wilson and The ET Gray

May 20, 2014 at 6:08 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Nero Wilson and The ET Gray

Nero Wilson the lead electrical violinist for the band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers was lying in bed in his hotel in Los Angeles California.

He was playing a gig somewhere in LA tonight.

He couldn’t remember where.

A few nights ago he and his band were playing an open-air concert in the desert outside Mesa, Arizona- the same night that rumours were circulating that a UFO had crashed in the vicinity of the concert.

Maybe a UFO had crashed that night.

After all members of his band were acting pretty strange since then.

Well even stranger than usual he should say.

His cousin Dave Wilson (whose band name was Abbott Costello) the drummer had naturally got lucky with a groupie that night and had made out with a hot looking brunette named Lana who coincidentally was wearing a mini dress with a picture of ET on it.

His cousin Charlie Wilson (whose band name was Bud Lou) the electrical guitarist was once again complaining that he had no one to make out with.

And at the rate he was going, Charlie had whined, it was going to take him forever to equal Mick Jagger’s bedding record.

The band’s lead (and only) female singer Sekhmet had hidden what appeared to be a large teddy bear in her suitcase and wouldn’t let anyone near it.

All the while drinking bottles of blood (of course that wasn’t so unusual. That was something Sekhmet had done since Nero first met her).

Then they had left Arizona and had driven to California in their old 1960s Volkswagen van that still had old hippy peace symbols on it as well as stickers that said Make Love Not War, Peace Now, Ban The Bomb, and Nuke Nixon.

Sekhmet was sleeping in her coffin in the back (as she always did whenever they drove in the daylight).

Her suitcase now had a combination lock on it.

Charlie and Dave were busy performing Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony with their coughing and hacking and respiratory problems as a result of driving with the windows open (the van’s air conditioning system had apparently died on the same day as Charles de Gaulle according to the used car salesman from whom they bought the van) and they were inhaling all that smoke blowing in from the Southern California wild fires as they drove west.

Nero Wilson the only member of the group who was wearing an oxygen mask was having no problems as he drove the van.

Quite a memorable trip west, Nero thought as he went and showered.

When he had finished showering and shaving and brushing his teeth, he came out of the bathroom and went over to the closet.

When he opened the closet, an ET gray walked out.

As rumours on the Internet social networking sites would put it later, ET gray comes out of the closet in Nero Wilson’s California hotel room.

Nero Wilson’s mother Agrippina almost choked on her mushroom soup back home in Cleveland Ohio as she read the rumour that had been shared over 17,155 times on a close friend’s Facebook status.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 19th
2014.

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Illegal Alien?

May 14, 2014 at 7:14 pm (Entertainment, Music, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Illegal Alien?

In the desert outside the City of Mesa, Arizona was an open-air concert in the night.

Lana was attending with friends.

She was brunette, 19-years-old and wearing a black mini dress with a picture of ET on it.

The band that was playing the open air concert in the desert was Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.

They were a group that played an electronic version of Renaissance and Baroque music.

Their lead instrumentalist Nero Wilson was an electric violinist who had failed miserably at fulfilling his mother’s ambition for him to become Mayor of Cleveland Ohio.

Their lead singer Sekhmet on stage wearing a lion-skin mini dress was an Egyptian Vampiress suffering from amnesia.

They had just come back to America from a 3-year stint performing in the United Kingdom and Europe.

For a while last year they had a non-electronic instrumentalist in the form of one Pan Goatee who played the pan pipes.

Suspected by Scotland Yard and German police of being a serial killer, Pan Goatee now worked as a hired assassin for the U.S. government.

The concert finished with Nero Wilson’s hit song Rome Is Burning Like An Arizona Wildfire.

With lights and electronic fires going off on stage, no one else but Lana noticed the UFO falling from the sky after striking the mesa and then falling to the desert where it burst into flame.

Lana ran in the direction of the fallen UFO while her friends remained behind to cheer and applaud the band.

She came across the remains of the charred UFO.

There on the sandy ground next to the crashed vehicle was the body of a gray (for Lana knew her ET vocabulary) about 4 feet in height.

His/her eyes were closed.

Lana wasn’t sure whether the being was dead or not.

Suddenly the creature opened its eyes and spoke in perfect English, “Take me to your Pope.”

Lana was taken aback.

Being a fan of 1950s sci-fi films, she was under the impression that if ET aliens spoke English, their first words would be “Take me to your leader.”

While the current Pope was certainly very popular, both Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin would probably vigorously object to the Pope being considered the leader of planet Earth.

To say nothing of what her Belfast-born Northern Ireland Presbyterian grandfather would have to say on this subject.

Just then bright lights shone in the direction of the ET gray and Lana.

It was the headlights from a jeep belonging to the U.S. Border Patrol.

“U.S. Border Patrol,” the uniformed officer shouted from the jeep, “on the lookout for illegal aliens. I want to see your proper documentation and I’m not going to ask twice.”

Indeed the man did not ask twice.

For he was immediately disintegrated by the laser death ray fired from the ET gray’s gun.

In the distance, the Men In Black were already on their way.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 14th
2014.

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