Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

Even though he had no official background in science.

He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

He was not to be the number one speaker however.

He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

He: Yes.

Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.

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Michelangelo’s Morning Routine

March 18, 2021 at 10:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I had a really bad dozen years.”
-Adolf Hitler reflecting on his time as leader of Germany from 1933-1945 which oversaw the Holocaust, the invasion and takeover of several countries and World War II resulting in millions upon millions of deaths.

“All right, Herr Hitler, we’ll let you return to your rotating barbeque spit down in the flames of Tartarus,” Renfield finished his radio interview, “I imagine you must use the same speechwriter as members of the Atlanta Georgia Police Department.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream as his waterproof alarm clock (with the face of Groucho Marx on it) went off.

Coincidentally Renfield was doing a newscast on BBC World Service Radio as the lobster stretched his claws and got out of bed.

“Meanwhile in other news,” Renfield’s voice could be heard saying, “a giant cloud of dust emerged from the Vatican today as Pope Francis opened his Bible…”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster crawled out of his aquarium, grabbed a towel from a nearby drawer and crawled down the hall to the Set Enterprises Employees Shower Room where he took a shower.

Extremely Curious George the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher gazed at the lobster with a look of extreme bafflement on his face as he watched for the very first time this morning routine of the world famous Psychic Lobster.

Of course others at Set Enterprises (who had been around a lot longer than the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus) still looked at Michelangelo’s morning routine with extreme bafflement on their faces whenever they saw it.

The only ones who didn’t take a second look were Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague as well as the ghost of Winston Churchill whenever he happened to be visiting Set Enterprises Laboratories.

And speaking of Dr. Marmalade Montague, he had the body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a gurney with his mouth stretched wipe open about to receive the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin being poured down his throat through a contraption recently invented by Dr. Montague.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (dressed in a surgeon’s gown) had, last night, in his third post-mortem performed on the leprechaun since the start of this year, determined the cause of death to be Guinness laced with an extremely high content of a particularly toxic variety of cobra venom.

The other two times Yaldabaoth had died since the start of 2021- the 1st cause of death had been eating lutefisk and the 2nd cause of death had been drinking a bottle of champagne laced with Fire Salamander venom.

Coincidentally on all three occasions Yaldabaoth had keeled over and died on the spot after seeing a beautiful woman wearing a killer outfit.

Now Dr. Marmalade Montague was once again using 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin to bring Yaldabaoth back from the dead.

“I think Hendrick’s Gin should start advertising this medicinal benefit of their product for leprechauns in their TV commercials,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to Set Enterprises Intelligence Secret Agent Miranda Singh.

“Maybe someone should let them know,” Miranda suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 18th
2021.

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Ragnarok Approacheth

November 8, 2020 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I’d like to thank all the dead voters who helped me win this election…”
-Joe Biden in a special recorded message to residents of cemeteries.

“When the Norse god of thunder accidentally hit his thumb with his hammer Mjolnir once, his thumb was mighty Thor.”
-The Norse trickster god Loki

“If you were to take all the veins and arteries in your body and line them up from end to end, you’d be dead.”
-Dr. Marmalade Montague
eccentric scientist at Set Enterprises’ laboratories, London, England

“There is a division in the world today between objective reality and a fictional narrative as presented by the mainstream media.
Despite overwhelming objective evidence of a massive electoral fraud never before seen in U.S. history, the mainstream media insist that Biden won legitimately and even proclaimed him President-elect yesterday even though the vote counts haven’t been finished yet and the recounts haven’t even begun.
Biden and Covid-19 are both holograms (artificial realities) created by global elitists to pave the way for their Great Reset New World Order.
Biden and Covid-19 will be used until such time as they have served their purpose and will then be replaced by two new holograms Covid-21 and Kamala Harris when the Great Reset finally comes into view.”
-Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano in a letter dated and released Sunday November 8th 2020.

Michelangelo the Psychic lobster noted that the Vigano letter was indeed objective reality and other statements might be attributed to a Calgary based geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative which was much more interesting and definitely better written than the mainstream media’s fictional narrative (although the geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative contained more kernels of truth than the mainstream Marxist media’s fictional narrative ever could).

Michelangelo went back under the water and had his breakfast.

A Haitian witch doctor (who was Hillary Clinton’s personal voodoo instructor) had been brought in last week to raise Confederate soldiers and KKK members from the dead to go to the polls and vote in favour of Joe Biden.

After all Joe Biden had been a very good friend of KKK Democratic Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia who kicked the bucket back in 2010 and Biden had given a glowing eulogy at the latter’s funeral.

Biden had made numerous racist and anti-black statements over the years including his most recent, “If you’re a black who’s going to vote for Trump, then you ain’t black enough.”

Despite being a white supremacist and associating with Klansmen, he had pledged allegiance to both Xi Jinping and the coming Great Reset New World Order.

And that was all the global elitists, the mainstream Marxist media and the Neo-Maoist social media global tech giants (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google) cared about.

The Norse god Loki had used the asshole of his son the Norse World Serpent Jormungandr to shit ballots for the Biden-Harris ticket out of his ass to use in the states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania as well as the states of North Carolina, Georgia and Arizona.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Loki.

In order for Jormungandr to shit Biden-Harris ballots out of his ass, he had to release his tail out of his mouth.

For Jormungandr was an ouroboros a serpent who swallowed his own tail.

Suddenly a thought hit Loki.

An old Norse prophecy said that when Jormungandr released his tail from his mouth, the Battle of Ragnarok (the Norse Apocalypse and the Norse equivalent of the Biblical Battle of Armageddon) would begin.

And he Loki would die at Ragnarok.

“Oh shit,” Loki began hitting his forehead, “Oh, what a dummy.Oh, what a dummy.”

Meanwhile Loki’s son Fenrir the great Norse wolf was happily frolicking through the snow.

Dr. Marmalade Montague of Set Enterprises was looking at a blown up slide of the genome of the Covid-19 virus after Michelangelo had brought it into clearer focus with his lobster claws.

He was shocked to see something in the genome of the Covid-19 virus that no one else had seen before.

There clearly inserted into the genome was a photographic image of the Norse wolf Fenrir frolicking in the snow.

Pope Francis was having a conversation with one of his Cardinals Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

“I wish someone would rid me of this troublesome Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano,” Francis moaned.

“Well, I think there’s been a wide supply of poisons available in the Vatican since the days of the Renaissance hasn’t there been, your Non-Holiness?” Cardinal Salaman asked.

The ghost of Lucrezia Borgia wandered through the room carrying a spectral bottle of poison while Amorous Laeticia (the pet black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft) hid her large saucer of Baileys Irish Cream (that she preferred to milk) in a safe place that Lucrezia wouldn’t be able to tamper with.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 8th
2020.

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