Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

July 6, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

Miranda Singh sat in Collingwood Hills Park a park not far from the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was conducting scientific experiments in the park to see if he could bring about early autumn colours on the trees in early summer.

He seemed to be succeeding judging from some of the colours on the leaves of the trees behind where Miss Singh sat.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in a small wading pool in the park typing on his waterproof iPad with his lobster claws and mixing tracks from different seasons from Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons on his GarageBand app.

And a couple of baroque music enthusiasts sitting on a nearby park bench said he was succeeding.

Michelangelo looked in Miss Singh’s direction.

Small children left the wading pool in droves when the GarageBand app on the lobster’s iPad exploded.

The iPad was playing Beethoven’s Song of Joy as Amadeus Emanon rescued the crustacean and his tablet.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was not at the Set Enterprises family picnic on this day as he was currently attending the christening ceremony for Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor at Windsor Castle.

Meanwhile Harvey Tallbanger the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh Pooka bunny rabbit walked around the picnic carrying his favourite drink a Tequila Sunrise.

He sat across from Miranda Singh and the pair discussed their respective secret agent and spying missions they had conducted for Set Enterprises last month.

Meanwhile under a nearby tree, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was neither a current employee nor a former employee of Set Enterprises) awoke with a huge hangover from last night’s carousing and revelry that he had engaged in in the nearby West London theatre district.

Feeling hungry, he helped himself to a picnic basket full of ham and cheese sandwiches.

“Hey, what happened to all the ham and cheese sandwiches?” Amadeus cried out a few minutes later.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster lay down at Miranda Singh’s feet.

The European Union anthem was being played with great enthusiasm on Michelangleo’s iPad GarageBand app to the great disappointment of BREXIT Party leader Nigel Farage who was walking nearby.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 6th
2019.

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Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border

June 30, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border 

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was going to watch some news footage.

He would not be viewing the news footage on his smart phone or tablet or laptop as the old Egyptian deity had recently come down with a severe allergy to 21st Century technology.

His physician (who specialized in vampiric and other supernatural creature ailments) Dr. Henry Jekyll said that might be a good thing since it would make him less likely to accept the integrated Mark of the Beast system when the Antichrist took power on the world stage.

Set agreed that it might have its advantages.

So Set’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had arranged a Set Enterprises team to download news off the Net, put it over on to old fashioned film, wind it on to old fashioned film reels, put them on a film projector and then project the images from the film projector on to a white screen in a darkened room.

Set would currently be watching uncensored news footage (not generally available to most of the world’s population) of United States President Donald Trump meeting North Korean leader Kim Jong-un on the border between the two Koreas on the Korean Peninsula earlier today.

The film showed Trump waving to Kim Jong-un in the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) between North and South Korea.

The two men shook hands.

Kim invited Trump to step over the northern DMZ line across the border into North Korea.

Trump stuck his left leg across the border into North Korea and began to sing, “You put your left foot in… ” (puts his left foot across the border), “you take your left foot out” (takes his left foot back into the DMZ), “you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” (Trump spins around like an idiot while standing on his right leg alone as he shakes his left leg in the air as he spins around).

Mr. Trump then proceeded to do the same with his right foot, “You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” all the while doing the accompanying actions and spins between the DMZ line and the North Korean border using a different leg and foot this time.

“Is the President of the United States actually doing what my eyes seem to suggest he’s doing?” Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan.

“I believe he is, sir,” Athelstan answered.

“Well this explains why they now allow people from other countries to perform on the show America’s Got Talent,” Set started to eat his hot buttered popcorn as he sat in his theatre seat.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher 
Sunday June 30th
2019.

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Miranda Singh Encounters The Greek God Ares

June 10, 2019 at 9:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Miranda Singh Encounters The Greek God Ares


Miranda Singh is stopped on the steps of a Jerusalem shopping mall by the Greek god Ares

As Miranda Singh the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set walked up the steps of a Jerusalem shopping mall, she was suddenly approached from behind by Ares the Greek god of war.

“Stop,” Ares had said to her, “Is it true that you have the invisibility bracelets of the goddess Kali in your possession?”.

As Ares moved in closer, Miranda kicked him down the stairs with one of her spiked stilettos where the Greek war deity hit his head on the sidewalk when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He was immediately sent to cuckoo-land.

The Olympian dreamed that he was in a clockmaker’s shop in Switzerland where the clock maker was making a clock where Donald Trump came out by the hour and said, “Cuck-hoo! Cuck-hoo!”.

Miranda Singh had been given the heads up by her employer Set that she might be approached by a Greek deity.

Apparently Set Enterprises’ Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had received a vision that the deities of Mount Olympus were very interested in the upcoming Middle East security summit that would be held in Israel between the Israeli, U.S. and Russian national security advisors.

Miranda Singh would be covertly attending the summit by wearing the invisibility bracelets of the goddess Kali.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 10th 
2019.

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Renfield Wasn’t Invited To The Jerusalem Security Summit

June 2, 2019 at 10:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing the world political situation with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“So Donald Trump says that Boris Johnson would make an excellent Prime Minister,” Amadeus said.

“Yes, I hope that jack ass’ favourable tweet doesn’t ruin Boris’ chances of winning the British Conservative Party leadership,” Renfield answered with a grim look on his face.

Renfield supported Johnson becoming Conservative Party leader because Boris was going to name Renfield to the cabinet as Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering should the former win the leadership and become Prime Minister.

“So what’s on your agenda in the meantime?” Amadeus asked.

“Well,” Renfield answered, “there’s going to be a regional security summit in Jerusalem this month between U.S. National Security advisor John Bolton and his Israeli counterpart Meir Ben-Shabbat and Nikolai Patrushev the secretary of the Russian Security Council. And the really shocking thing is I wasn’t invited.”

“The horror! The horror!” Amadeus spoke a Marlon Brando movie line as he ate a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

“I wholeheartedly concur,” Renfield nodded, “so I’ve talked to the Boss (the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) and we’re going to send a spy to that meeting.”

“Would that be the Boss’ invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit secret agent Harvey Tallbanger?” Amadeus asked.

“No, the Boss has another mission for Tallbanger this month,” Renfield replied, “so he’s going to send his secretary Miranda Singh to the meeting.”

“But won’t she be noticed?” Amadeus inquired.

“Dr. Cadbury Rocher managed to borrow the invisibility bracelets belonging to the goddess Kali,” Renfield answered, “so Miranda is going to put those on prior to the meeting.”

“How did Dr. Rocher manage to obtain Kali’s invisibility bracelets?” Amadeus pondered this.

“He ran into Kali at an Indian restaurant in London last month,” Renfield explained, “and asked if he could borrow her invisibility bracelets for the next 6 months”.

“What did Dr. Rocher offer Kali in return?” Amadeus was curious to know.

“Dr. Rocher gave her his own personal personal recipe for making gelato ice cream,” Renfield replied, “a recipe that’s deliciously divine.”

“I didn’t know Dr. Rocher made a divinely delicious gelato ice cream,” Amadeus was shocked, “He’s never offered me any.”

“That’s because he knows you’d eat every carton he’s made if you tasted it,” Renfield astutely noted.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday June 2nd 
2010.


Miranda Singh: will soon be trying on Kali’s invisibility bracelets in Jerusalem

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Harvey Tallbanger In Paris

April 27, 2019 at 8:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger who was personal spy to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in Paris to see how the Kraken Napoleon VI’s Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party was doing in preparation for next month’s European Parliament elections.

The French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party leader Napoleon VI (a Kraken) had formed an alliance with one of Set’s former employees the British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield to run under a joint party banner for the elections.

Of course if Britain somehow managed to Brexit before the elections, Renfield’s party would be out of the running.

Most big shot bureaucrats in Brussels as well as French President Emmanuel Macron and Pope Francis were hoping Britain would manage to Brexit before the elections to prevent Renfield from getting into the European Parliament where he would no doubt use his influence to finish off the globalist New World Order European Union once and for all.

Militant Islamist terrorist groups and the Jesuit order were also upset by Renfield’s decision to sit as an atheist representative on the Committee For The Canonization of Charles Martel.

Of course Charles Martel had a snowball’s chance in Hell of being proclaimed a Saint by the Catholic Church as long as Francis was Pope but it was the principle of the matter that upset the militant Islamist terrorists and the Jesuits.

Harvey Tallbanger had spent the day touring Notre Dame Cathedral with the Kraken Napoleon VI and his lovely wife Medusa (who was now beautiful again after having her head shaved of snakes).

Security personnel did not try to stop Napoleon VI and Medusa from entering the burnt Cathedral because how does one stop a Kraken and a famed former Gorgon from Greek mythology doing something?

As for Harvey, since he was invisible, they were unable to stop him from entering.

“I see both the Cross and the Pieta statue of the Virgin Mary holding the Crucified Jesus at the High Altar were saved,” Harvey noted.

“Yes, a Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai was quite ticked off they managed to survive,” Medusa noted, “he said as much in an interview with a French newspaper yesterday.”

Harvey nodded.

He was aware that Father Caiaphas was the one who had helped the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone to escape the Set Enterprises secure barn in England and had then ridden the basilisk to start the fire at Notre Dame by breathing venomous fire.

When they had finished the tour, Napoleon VI and Medusa returned to campaigning for the European Parliament and Harvey had retreated to a Paris cafe called Quasimodo’s.

The cafe had a gypsy dancer called Esmeralda appropriately enough.

When she had finished dancing, she went up to the bar to talk to the 6 foot 8 invisible bunny rabbit.

“You can see me?” Harvey was astonished, “Have you been drinking Harvey Wallbangers?”.

“No, being a gypsy, I have psychic abilities so I can see you,” Esmeralda answered.

“A psychic lobster in London called Michelangelo can also see me,” Harvey nodded.

Esmeralda and the bunny rabbit got around to discussing the fire at Notre Dame.

Harvey Tallbanger happened to mention that there was an animated short film called I Pet Goat 2 made back in 2012 that seemed to prophetically show the spire of Notre Dame Cathedral collapsing like happened this year.

“And the name of this animated short had Pet Goat in the title?” Esmeralda queried.

Harvey affirmed that it did.

“You know the character of Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame had a pet goat,” Esmeralda pointed out.

“That’s right, she did,” Harvey recalled.

“Djali was its name,” Esmeralda mentioned.

Harvey ate his jelly donut with a side of goat’s cheese.

Father Caiaphas bar Yochai who had been sitting at a table in the corner of Quasimodo’s and drinking Harvey Wallbangers by the dozen suddenly looked in the direction of the French Roma Gypsy girl and the Welsh pooka bunny rabbit.

“A bunny rabbit?” Father Caiaphas seethed, “I hate bunny rabbits.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 27th
2019.


The gypsy Esmeralda

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Roast Basilisk In Hell’s Kitchen

April 19, 2019 at 10:43 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing flying the winged horse Pegasus had won the showdown in the Libyan desert with the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone and his rider the dark arts practicing Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai this past Wednesday.

The ghost of Howard Cosell had been on the scene doing commentary for the underworld based Baphomet Broadcasting Network until he succumbed to spectral laryngitis.

Qonzilqointec had doused the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone with Odour of Weasel Perfume sending the genetically recreated satanic beast plunging to its death in the desert sands.

The evil Jesuit Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had survived the fall due to the combination of basilisk venom and extra strong Starbucks dark roasted coffee he had imbibed prior to combat.

The evil priest was not to get off scott free however for Dracul Van Helsing had used the Sword of Saint George to stab the Baphomet worshipping cleric in his phallus.

After Dwayne the Rock Johnson arrived on the scene to declare Qonzilqointec and Dracul the winners, the couple flew off to the Queen Cleopatra Hotel in Alexandria where they spent an evening of tantric sex together.

Star Wars Star Troopers had arrived from Set Enterprises in London to return the basilisk’s body to Britain.

Father Caiaphas bar Yochai managed to catch an Uber ride with an Islamic State terrorist to Paris, France.

There the now swordless Jesuit looked up the ancient Egyptian vampiress Isis since she had previous experience in creating wooden phalluses having created one for her husband Osiris since that was the one part of his 14 missing body parts (after he was dismembered by their brother Set) that she was unable to find.

The American Jesuit priest Father James J. Martin SJ held a Requiem Mass for Father Caiaphas’ fleshly phallus as he had rather fond memories of it.

The basilisk’s body was delivered to Chef Gordon Ramsay and some of his previous winners on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

The Rothschilds and some of their business associates were holding a buffet luncheon dinner this Good Friday in London and thought roast basilisk would be just the thing.

Chef Gordon Ramsay and his Hell’s Kitchen crew were brought in to prepare it.

“It tastes like chicken,” one of the Rothschild associates remarked.

“That’s because basilisk is part rooster as well as part serpent,” Chef Gordon Ramsay explained.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was worried whether his company would face a law suit as his company’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was responsible for creating this basilisk that caused the fire at Notre Dame this past Monday April 15th 2019 when the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (driven by the evil Father Caiaphas bar Yochai) breathed venomous fire on repair scaffolding at the cathedral.

However no one on the Paris scene suspected a basilisk as basilisks really hadn’t been around for the past 500 years until Dr. Cadbury Rocher recreated one.

Meanwhile over in France, the ancient Greek god Zeus was having a meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron.

“Monsieur le Presidente,” Zeus spoke impeccable French as he had spent the greater part of the Age of Louis XIV deflowering the loveliest of the French courtesans before the Sun King had the chance to do so, “you may not know this but Notre Dame was built over the site of a Temple of Jupiter. Jupiter was of course the name under which the ancient Romans worshipped me. So I was wondering if you could place a replica of my altar at Pergamum at the top of the new Notre Dame where the old spire and Cross used to be before it collapsed in the towering inferno.”

President Macron, who was busy mentally calculating the age of Zeus’ wife Hera and figuring that she must still be a pretty good looking woman judging from her statues, replied, “Why don’t we discuss this over souvlaki and ouzo?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 19th
2019.


The Greek goddess Hera: Still an extremely good looking woman

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Renfieldian Hypnosis: Donald Trump Sings Marty Robbins’ Out In The West Texas Town of El Paso – Updated Version

February 25, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Comedy, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, News, Romance, Satire, Spy Tales, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


“Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl…”

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was learning from the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria the very powerful techniques of hypnosis they practiced in that ancient civilization.

Renfield had told his good friend Amadeus Emanon that he was going to use a Lemurian hypnosis technique on Donald Trump just prior to the Donald’s giving his acceptance speech for the Presidential nomination at the Republican National Convention in 2020.

Curious as to what Renfield was up to, Amadeus decided that he couldn’t wait that long.

He went to see Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at the Set Enterprises laboratory to see if the psychic little crustacean could pick up images from the 2020 Republican Convention.

It turned out that Michelangelo could.

Amadeus watched the convention on the television next to the lobster tank as Michelangelo worked his lobster antennae to the max and Harvey the invisible rabbit did the same with the rabbit ears on the old television.

Here was the scene at the Convention just prior to Trump giving his convention acceptance speech:

Convention Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States… Donald Trump…

Trump walks on to the stage waving to the crowd as the musical theme Hail To The Chief is being played.

While the musical theme Hail To The Chief is being played, rare 19th Century film footage of Lakota Sioux Chief Sitting Bull being hit by hail stones during a hail storm is projected on to the large film screen behind Trump.

“I see Renfield managed to successfully hypnotize the film projectionist at the Convention,” Amadeus remarked to Michelangelo.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Trump told the cheering and adoring crowd, “I’m not going to give an acceptance speech. Instead I’m going to sing a song…”

Trump grabbed the microphone, walked up the stage and started to sing,

“Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl,
On the U.S.-Mexico border, I arranged to meet her,
And as I rode, I thought of a thousand ways to greet her,
but when I arrived on the scene, I found that some idiot had built there a wall,
and found out by hitting my head against it, it caused my fine looking toupee to fall…”

When Trump had finished singing about how he had fallen in love with a Mexican girl out in the West Texas town of El Paso, he walked backstage where he was hit full force in the face by Melania’s purse.

The First Lady was quite upset with the song’s lyrics.

A secret service agent talked in code on his walkie talkie, “Hello Jupiter, this is Top Dog. Shit Hole is down. Repeat. Shit Hole is down. He requires urgent medical attention. Fiery Slovenian has hit him. Repeat. Fiery Slovenian has hit him.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 25th
2019.

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Labour Disruption and Strike At Set Enterprises

November 24, 2018 at 11:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Science, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Last night, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on his way to the Set Enterprises laboratory to receive a vision from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster that was intended for his eyes only.

However due to a traffic delay caused by an extremely idiotic driver and the subsequent shooting of that extremely idiotic driver, Renfield was late getting to the Set Enterprises laboratory.

The site was now called Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium (as Renfield’s former boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had now gone into business with the Persian goddess Anahita to sell Persian rugs together).

They had hired Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria (who had first met and made out in a police interrogation room at Scotland Yard) to demonstrate how easy it was to hold tantric sex couplings on Persian rugs thus increasing the popularity of sales.

However once Renfield got to the Laboratory and Rug Emporium, the union of Persian rug employees and workers were now on strike after smoking and inhaling Canadian recreational cannabis that had been smuggled aboard a Canadian Federal Government commissioned Air Canada flight from Ottawa to London.

The rug emporium employees were now on strike demanding higher wages so they could buy higher doses of cannabis laced products so they could go on higher trips.

Their picket lines were now surrounding the Set Enterprises building and they weren’t letting anybody in.

Renfield decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to reach under his raincoat and grab his semi-automatic weapon and blow the whole lot of them to kingdom come for two reasons:

Firstly, any tourists present might think they were no longer in London but some locale in the United States and Trump would soon be tweeting his thoughts and prayers to them while not standing up to the narcissistic jackals and jackasses in the NRA who were against any form of gun control (save for a brief period in the 1960s when it became apparent that members of the Black Panthers were buying large amounts of weapons and the NRA were screaming for the government to do something and impose some form of government control over gun purchases but the memory of that brief period the current NRA leadership and membership sought to erase from most History textbooks).

Secondly, Renfield did not want to alienate any potential British Labour Party voter who might be inclined to vote for his British Transhumanist Party (Renfieldian Transhumanism was not your Ray Kurzweil Google brand of Transhumanism or Jeff Bezos Amazon brand of Transhumanism but as the ghost of the late Prague Spring of 1968 Czechoslovakian leader Alexander Dubcek called it, “Transhumanism with a human face.”).

Since the striking rug employees were higher than a kite, Renfield used his new Dr. Cadbury Rocher Cosmos brand Smart Phone to put in a call to the Niburuan ET gray Gali-Gula.

The ET gray Gali-Gula arrived in his UFO Flying Saucer and walked out to speak to the striking workers.

In the platinum plated metallic iron gloves on his hands he carried the marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever.

Strawberry Fields Forever’s normal habitat was the greenhouse of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa where the Prime Minister (who had picked up the Prince of Wales’ habit of talking to plants) would go and chat with the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant and inhale the plant’s exhaled smoke as he did so.

Then Justin could truthfully tell the Canadian news media that his lips never touched a marijuana cigarette.

Renfield looked at his watch.

He was late for a hot tub appointment with some of Japan’s top female porn stars who were currently visiting Britain.

Renfield decided he’d leave it to the Niburuan mediator the ET gray Gali-Gula to end the strike.

Michelangelo’s vision for Renfield’s eyes only would have to wait for another day.

His vision of Japanese lady porn stars in a hot tub for his eyes only were far more important.

He left.

The ET gray Gali-Gula told the crowd that his ET gray body was in fact possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula and they could only see him if they inhaled pot smoke.

The crowd was not impressed and still refused to swear off pot smoking.

Gali-Gula said, “I’ll show you the hazards of excessive pot smoking and inhalation.”

He once again picked up the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in his platinum plated metallic iron gloved hands.

“Show them the aftereffects of excessive pot smoking and inhalation,” Gali-Gula addressed Strawberry Fields Forever.

The pot smoking cactus plant then started hiccoughing and sneezing cactus needles in the strikers’ direction.

The strikers still refused to swear off pot smoking.

“Desperate times require desperate measures,” Gali-Gula did his best voice impersonation of Sir Winston Churchill while speaking to Strawberry Fields Forever.

“And now for something completely different,” Gali-Gula spoke to the crowd while impersonating the voice of the Monty Python TV show announcer, “And far more drastic. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau doing a naked phallic impersonation of Donald Trump.”

Justin Trudeau had ingested Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed Reverse Viagra tablets a few hours before so his phallus would be the right size for doing a Donald Trump impersonation.

The holographic image of Justin Trudeau doing a Donald Trump phallic impersonation was astral projected from Ottawa to London.

He had a special guest to help him in his performance.

The image of a naked Justin Trudeau doing a Donald Trump phallic impersonation and doing a lap dance in the naked lap of a totally nude possible future House speaker Nancy Pelosi was an image far too horrifying for even an H.P. Lovecraft to conceive.

It was also an image far too horrifying for the striking employees of Set Enterprises Rug Emporium to receive.

They swore off pot smoking and cannabis inhalation for life.

The strike ended.

Gali-Gula had saved the day and the night.

And PTSD therapists would be receiving a multitude of clients the next day.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 24th
2018.

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Renfield: Taking Care of Business In Every Way

November 23, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received a phone call from Dr. Cadbury Rocher at Set Enterprises.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had picked up a TV news broadcast from the future on his lobster antennae and Michelangelo had typed with his lobster claws on the keyboard of his waterproof laptop that the vision was meant for Renfield’s eyes only.

So Renfield caught a trolley bus that drove quite close to the Set Enterprises laboratory and rug emporium (The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had recently gone into business with the Persian goddess Anahita and sold Persian rugs together- putting Set on Donald Trump’s business black list).

The trolley bus headed down a single lane one way street that was meant for trolley buses only.

There was a vehicle trap at the front of the street that trapped any vehicle other than trolley buses from going down that street.

However there were plenty of flashing red lights and traffic signs that warned other vehicles of the vehicle trap ahead.

However there was always the occasional idiot who totally ignored all the flashing lights and traffic signs and wound up with their vehicle caught in the trap preventing the bus from getting through.

This was one of those days.

“I can’t believe that bitch did that!” The bus driver shouted.

Other people on the bus now complained about being late for important appointments thanks to the inherent stupidity of the said bitch.

Renfield seethed as he got off the bus.

There was only one thing to do about such stupid people.

And that was to eliminate them from the face of the earth.

The airheaded bitch was on her mobile calling for a tow truck to pull her vehicle out of the trap.

It was rather unfortunate for the said airhead that she wasn’t very good looking.

Otherwise Renfield might have shown some pity.

As it was, Renfield reached into his raincoat pocket, pulled out his gun and fired 7 bullets point blank at her.

The woman immediately fell to the ground quite dead as the operator on the other end of the line asked her for her Auto Club Membership #.

But the woman had expired before her membership did.

Renfield being a member of MI-5, MI-6, British Home Office and Her Majesty’s Secret Service had a licence to kill like James Bond 007 (in fact his secret agent code number was 0069).

Renfield received a standing ovation and thunderous applause from the other passengers on the bus for his actions.

Renfield looked at his watch and decided he’d better walk from here to Set Enterprises.

As Renfield walked down the street, he sang his own paraphrased version of an early 1980s Air Supply Song,

There’s one less stupid person in the world
And it’s gonna be fine
Out of all the stupid people in the world
You’re now dead and gone
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there’s one less stupid person in the world tonight…

“It’s too bad Donald Trump hadn’t been the one to have driven that vehicle into the trap,” the trolley bus driver remarked.

“Too bad indeed,” British Prime Minister Theresa May agreed.

Mrs. May vowed never to take public transit again.

She was now going to be at least half an hour late for an important meeting to save her Brexit deal.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 23rd
2018.

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The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution

November 7, 2017 at 9:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution

Renfield R. Renfield MP stood up in the British House of Commons and began his speech, “It was 100 years ago today that the Russian Bolshevik Revolution occurred when at 9:40 PM local time the cruiser gunship Aurora fired a shot at the Winter Palace in Petrograd (St. Petersburg) forcing the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky to surrender.
The Revolution marked the start of a century of bloodshed as Communists killed millions of people in their attempt to create a Utopia of peace, bread and prosperity.”

. . .

100 years earlier-

October 25th 1917 (on the old Julian calendar which Russia was using at the time)

November 7th 1917 (on the new Gregorian calendar which the Russian Socialist Federative Soviet Republic under Lenin would later adopt in 1918).

On the cruiser gunship Aurora, the 50-foot long Egyptian Serpent Apophis was coiled aboard deck.

Apophis who had convinced the German Kaiser Wilhelm II to smuggle Lenin back into Russia via Finland.

Apophis who had convinced the “useful idiots” in the Woodrow Wilson Administration to allow Leon Trotsky to leave the U.S. and return to Russia.

Apophis who hoped the new Red Dawn would forever block out Ra’s rising sun.

“Will anyone be able to stop this Revolution?” The Bolshevik captain of the Aurora asked.

“No,” Apophis shook his serpentine head, “it’s not likely that sometime within the next year that they’ll dig up Set from his tomb and he shall once again slay me with his giant spear like he used to do when he rode as a passenger aboard Ra’s solar barge.”

. . .

Renfield (whose code name was The Spear of Set when he worked at Set Enterprises) concluded his speech, “Vladimir Putin’s mistake in Russia is to attempt a synthesis of Imperial Czarist Russia and Soviet Stalinist Russia – a synthesis bound for failure. As with every other Hegelian synthesis in history. For as any person inclined towards sensible philosophy knows- Hegel was a pompous ass full of wind and fury whose flatulence in history will ultimately signify nothing.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 7th
2017.

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