The Vampire Set and Lindbergh’s Historic Flight To Paris

May 21, 2017 at 3:31 pm (History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

90 years ago today.

May 21st 1927.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in Paris enjoying a bottle of champagne with Josephine Baker, Ernest Hemingway and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

They were waiting to see if American pilot Charles Lindbergh would arrive in the city in his plane The Spirit of St. Louis and become the first person to fly solo non-stop across the Atlantic.

Twenty minutes after 10 PM on the evening of May 21st 1927, there slipped out of the darkness over the skies a gray white airplane.

At 10:24 PM The Spirit of St. Louis landed.

“Well, I made it,” said Lindbergh.

And the City of Paris went wild.

Lindbergh was carried by hand outside his plane.

Total mayhem among the crowd of 100,000 people who had gathered on the east side of Le Bourget Air Field.

“Paris probably hasn’t seen such excitement since the Armistice of 1918,” Hemingway remarked as he uncorked another bottle of champagne.

“I was being dug out of the prison of my ancient Egyptian tomb on Armistice Day in 1918,” Set recalled.

Both Josephine Baker and Ernest Hemingway laughed at Set’s remark.

Only the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (being one of the living Undead herself) smiled sympathetically.

“Do you suppose Lindbergh will join us on this sidewalk cafe?” Josephine asked.

“I don’t know,” Hemingway shrugged, “did you invite him?”.

Everyone laughed.

“I wonder if anything else as exciting will happen this year?” Qonzilqointec mused philosophically.

On the other side of the Atlantic, singer and entertainer Al Jolson was sitting in a bar

He heard someone at one of the tables say, “You ain’t heard nothing yet.”

Jolson’s ears perked up.

That would make a great closing line for the new movie he was doing.

The world’s first talkie.

-A vampire novel chapter

written by Christopher

Sunday May 21st

2017.

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Mei-ling Manchu

May 16, 2017 at 4:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The year was 1933.

And the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was paying a visit to Britain’s House of Lords to see his friend Lord Oswald Jennings give a speech on China in the House of Lords.

Lord Oswald Jennings had a son Spencer Jennings who was the British Conservative MP for the constituency of Stamford On The Welland.

And Spencer Jennings had an 8-year-old son Byron Jennings.

In the opinion of the said vampire billionaire who called himself Mr. Sol Invictus Set, Byron Jennings was a spoiled brat.

But fortunately Lord Oswald Jennings did not invite Set back to his home after the speech where his son and daughter-in-law and spoiled brat grandson would be attending.

Instead he invited Set to dinner at his club.

“I agree with you,” Lord Jennings winked at Set over a brandy, “my grandson is a brat. I find Spencer and his airhead wife Lillian are too enamoured with this progressive education nonsense. Letting the child do exactly whatever he wants.”

After dinner and brandy at the club. Sol Invictus Set walked out into the night.

He noticed a very attractive young Asian woman walking up the street.

She was wearing a black dragon emblazoned red dress slit up the sides in that sleek chic oriental fashion that Set found so arousing.

It’s too bad that he had to rush home as he was expecting a phone call from Stanley Baldwin. Otherwise he’d have asked the beautiful young woman out for a drink.

But the beautiful young Asian woman had plans of her own.

For she was Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life scientist Dr. Fu Manchu who was so grossly slandered in Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.

Her father feared that Lord Oswald Jennings was far too sympathetic to the idea of Japanese control over Manchuria and quite possibly the rest of China.

Thus he had instructed Mei-ling to kidnap Lord Jennings’ grandson Byron hoping to influence His Lordship away from a pro-Japanese position.

How Mei-ling wondered, would she do it?

She noticed a boy standing at the corner looking through the window of a bookshop.

She looked at the photo of Lord Jennings’ grandson that her father had given her.

Then she looked at the boy on the corner.

They were the same individual.

She walked up to the boy.

Ironically, the boy was looking at the cover of one of Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.
Daughter of Fu Manchu

Said Byron (who was about as horny as his poetic namesake), “Wow. I’d like that woman on the cover to take me home and spank me.”

“Oh, this was going to be easy,” Mei-ling smiled to herself.

“How’d you like me to take you to my home and give you a spanking?” Mei-ling adjusted the slit skirt of her dress.

“Okay,” said the boy.

So kidnapping the grandson of Lord Oswald Jennings turned out to be as easy as taking candy from a baby.

And quite possibly the boy might even cease being a brat under Mei-ling Manchu’s tutelage.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 16th
2017.

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80 Years Ago Today- The Hindenburg Disaster

May 6, 2017 at 3:33 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Hindenburg

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was recalling where he was 80 years ago today.

Aboard the dirigible airship LZ 129 Hindenburg as it caught fire trying to dock with its mooring mass at Naval Air Station Lakehurst in Manchester Township New Jersey on May 6th, 1937.

Of the 97 people on board (36 passengers and 61 crewmen), there were 35 fatalities (13 passengers and 22 crewmen). One worker on the ground was also killed, bringing the final death toll to 36.

The vampire Set had departed aboard the Hindenburg from Frankfurt Germany on the evening of May 3rd 1937.

He was carrying a message with him from Der Fuhrer Adolf Hilter (Set was an important financial backer of Germany’s leader) to U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

When Set arrived at Lakehurst, he would board an American Airlines flight from Lakehurst to Newark, New Jersey. He would then catch a plane from Newark to New York City and then on to Washington DC where he would meet in secret with FDR to deliver the message.

In the message, Hitler proposed an anti-Bolshevik crusade with FDR for some time a few years down the road.

Hitler would attack the USSR from the West (from Europe) and America would attack the USSR from the East (from Alaska).

In return, Hitler proposed that America take and keep Siberia (which of course was just across the Bering Strait from Alaska).

Hitler would take the rest of Russia.

However the Hindenburg caught fire as it was about to land.

Set promptly turned into a bat and flew down to safety as Herbert Morrison cried into the radio microphone for radio station WLS in Chicago, “Oh, the humanity….”

To this day, there were still debates going on about what caused the fire aboard the Hindenburg. Some said it was sabotage. Others said it was caused by an electrical spark.

Set personally believed it was sabotage.

Because once he was on the ground in Lakehurst and had resumed his human shape, the vampire who called himself Sol Invictus Set saw his arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis standing there.

Isis had with her by her side the Moroccan wrestler Abdul the Butcher who was her bodyguard at the time.

Abdul hit Set over the head and knocked him out.

When Set came to, Der Fuhrer’s message meant for FDR’s eyes only was gone.

How the world might have been different had that message been delivered, Set reflected.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 6th
2017.

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Renfield In Egypt and Then Germany

April 29, 2017 at 2:33 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

After the papal speech at al-Azhar University in Cairo, Pope Francis and the Egyptian vampire Osiris met behind closed doors with Islamic leaders from across the Muslim world.

A phone call from the conference room was put in to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the Chief Rabbis of Israel.

Renfield R. Renfield who had bugged the room made notes.

“That’s very interesting,” Renfield thought to himself.

He left the notes on the table in his Cairo hotel room and put in a call to his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set letting him know the developments.

“What,” Set seethed, “that bastard Osiris! Why does everyone want to make deals with him and not me?”.

“The world has bad taste, boss,” Renfield replied as he flicked through the Cairo hotel TV guide and noticed the reality TV shows Survivor and also Big Brother Canada were available on the hotel’s TV programming.

“What the world needs is a statue of Set in the proposed ecumenical Interfaith Temple in Jerusalem,” Set started pulling his hair out with his razor sharp fingernails in a dramatic barber like scene that hadn’t been seen since the days Johnny Depp played Edward Scissorhands.

Meanwhile over in North Korea, Kim Jong-un was busy sobbing on to his teddy bear (that had the face of Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Hannibal Lecter on it), “That woman in my dream told me that if I painted an image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull on my ballistic missiles, they’d launch successfully.”

The beautiful Korean woman in the white gown (from his dream) appeared behind him in reality and kicked him in the ass and told him, “I also told you to write the Latin words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image, you idiot.”

Renfield decided to stop off in Germany on his way home from Cairo.

He had received a message from his new found ally the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

There was important business that Renfield had to attend to in Bavaria.

In a quiet Bavarian village, Herr Dummkopf Drecksack was a driving test administrator.

He was the motherfucking asshole of all driving test administrators.

He had just given a hard time to a personal friend of Dracul Van Helsing and Renfield R. Renfield.

Flunking her for making one mistake.

Renfield followed the pink velvet pants wearing Herr Dummkopf Drecksack as he walked down the street.

He followed him to a post office where the man picked up a dozen packages of viagra and a dozen packages of cialis.

He then put them in his brown coloured VW bug and drove home.

Inside his house, he lit a candle in front of the giant photo of Adolf Hitler above his black altar.

“Like Adolf, do you?” Renfield said behind him.

“What the?-” Herr Dummkopf Drecksack turned around.

That evening, Berlin’s national TV news channel reported, “The driving test administrator was found hanging from his rusty brown VW bug in the middle of the town square with his pants and underpants pulled down and a dozen packages of viagra hanging from his right arm and a dozen packages of cialis hanging from his left arm…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 29th
2017.

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Egyptian Family Feud- 2017 Style

April 25, 2017 at 4:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield the chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises was attending a staff meeting on the Set Estate (the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire’s colossal West London mansion) with the Vampire Set himself, Set’s personal concert pianist Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan the personal butler and valet to the aforementioned vampire.

Renfield called the meeting to order.

“So,” Renfield belched after pounding the gavel, “Amadeus, I understand you were in charge of analyzing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s revelations while I was away plotting the overthrow of the Nicolas Maduro government in Venezuela.”

“That’s correct,” Amadeus Emanon bit into a grilled cheese sandwich.

“Did Michelangelo reveal anything earth shattering?” Renfield asked as he drank from a bottle of Raven Conspiracy Deep Dark Red Wine.

“Well,” Amadeus munched on a Greek salad made with Goddess Athena Brand Feta Cheese, “apparently Pope Francis likes milk and cookies while the late former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill liked brandy.” (https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/04/19/michelangelo-foresees-pope-francis-at-regensburg/ )

“So, tell me something I don’t know,” Renfield pushed away a copy of an organic chemistry textbook in front of him.

“Mr. Renfield, sir,” Athelstan coughed, “I believe Mr. Emanon also listened in to the wiretaps you have on Master Set’s brother Osiris’ phone in Rome.”

“Really?” Renfield noticed that 5 dominatrixes were now following him on his Twitter account, “And did you discover anything earth shattering there, Amadeus?”.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set stopped licking his toe nails with his long serpent like forked tongue and listened to what Amadeus had to say.

“Well apparently Pope Francis has invited Osiris to accompany him when he visits Egypt this coming April 28th to 29th,” Amadeus ate a chocolate covered pyramid made out of peanuts.

“What?” Set spit an extra large toe nail out of his mouth in anger, “My brother Osiris was invited to Egypt to attend the inter-faith peace conference at Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with Pope Francis and I wasn’t.”

“That is correct,” Amadeus unwrapped a green coloured chocolate statue of Osiris and started eating it.

“Renfield,” Set seethed, “I want you to go to Egypt and spy on Osiris and Pope Francis and see what they’re up to.”

“But, boss,” Renfield applied moisturizing cream to his moustache, “this week I start campaigning in the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds as the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bioconservative Party Candidate.”

“Well, if you fail to go to Egypt to spy on Pope Francis and Osiris on my behalf,” Set started eating from the pot of crocodile stew in front of him, “you can kiss your 500 million British pounds sterling a year salary good-bye since you’ll be out of a job with me plus you can move out of my mansion as you’re no longer an employee here.”

Within seconds, Renfield was on the phone booking a flight from London to Cairo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
The Feast Day of Saint Mark
(1st Bishop of Alexandria in Egypt)
April 25th 2017.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher and His Incredible Self-Driving Car

April 4, 2017 at 4:31 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, Science, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was Set Enterprises’ chief resident scientist had just invented a self-driving motor vehicle- one he told his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was far more advanced and better than anything currently being tested or in production.

In fact as the ever enthusiastic Dr. Rocher pointed out to his boss Set (who was busy reading his copy of Anne Rice’s Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra at the time and didn’t enjoy being interrupted), the new Rocher Le Pied de Hermes should probably go down in history as the greatest self-driving car ever invented.

Set wasn’t sure whether he wanted to personally finance the mass production, distribution and marketing of this new product the Rocher Le Pied de Hermes.

After all while some of Dr. Rocher’s ideas were brilliant, others were total disasters (such as his most recent attempt to genetically re-create the winged horse Pegasus of Greek mythology).

Dr. Rocher was insistent that his new product could easily hit the market this fall- the design and quality and ease with which it could be “mass manufactured” (Cadbury’s words as he ate a Cadbury Caramilk bar) were so “positively brilliant” (Rocher’s words as he ate a Ferrero Rocher).

Set agreed to a test of the new self-driving vehicle.

He’d bring along an important City of London investor Donald Mahatma Ahmad Campbell Singh Khan (whose personal results from a DNA test he took through Ancestry.com’s DNA testing kit had astounded the entire world).

He would see if he could get the Campbell Singh Khan Investors’ Group to put up all the money for the mass production, distribution and marketing of the new self-driving Rocher Le Pied De Hermes.

Set would hold a 51% share of the new car company since it was his scientist who designed the car.

Campbell Singh Khan agreed to view the new vehicle in a road test before deciding to put up the risk money for the entire venture.

The day of the test came.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher wore racing goggles for the test (even though he wouldn’t be driving as the car would drive itself), Set was still busy reading his copy of the Rices’ new book Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra, Campbell Singh Khan was busy eating a plate of Scottish haggis, chicken curry and fafa beans falafel, Renfield R. Renfield was busy eating tuna fish sandwiches, Amadeus Emanon appeared to be eating everything but the kitchen sink and Athelstan the personal butler and valet to Set was standing there holding a tea pot.

When the test was over, Dr. Cadbury Rocher, Set, Renfield, Amadeus and Athelstan had retired to a nearby pub in total shock.

Silence reigned at the pub table.

Finally Renfield broke the silence.

“Well,” Renfield spoke feeling somewhat sorry for himself, “I suppose the responsibility will fall on my shoulders to inform his widow Mrs. Campbell Singh Khan of the tragic circumstances of his death.”

“You can tell her he died for the advancement of science,” Dr. Rocher suggested.

“True,” Renfield nodded, “he will have had the honour of being the first person in recorded history to have been killed in a hit and run accident involving a self-driving motor vehicle.”

“Make sure you get her to sign a waiver saying she won’t sue Set Enterprises for gross negligence,” Set directed as he stared at his vampiric reflection in his glass of beer.

“I wonder how much food they’ll serve at the luncheon following his funeral,” Amadeus mused aloud.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 4th
2017.

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The Ayatollah and The Satanic Verses

April 2, 2017 at 3:48 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

It was February 14th 1989.

Saint Valentine’s Day.

Although Valentine’s Day was not officially celebrated in the despotic theocratic state that was the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini’s Islamic Republic of Iran in 1989.

A cleric knocked on the door of the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini’s room.

“Just a minute,” the Ayatollah Khomeini hid the copy of the decadent western Playboy magazine (November 1976 issue with playmate Patti McGuire on the cover and the lustful heart opening interview with Jimmy Carter that the Ayatollah never once got around to reading) under his mattress and quickly reached for his copy of the Quran (which was more than an arm’s reach away).

“Come in,” the Ayatollah quickly pulled up his robes.

“Your eminence,” the cleric bowed, “our school of imams have just finished reading that book The Satanic Verses by the infidel apostate Salman Rushdie. They have been forced to render and tear their clothes at such blasphemy. While they await delivery of fresh clothes from our exclusive tailor shop in downtown Tehran which as you know is quite the distance by camel from our Holy City of Qom…”

“Why don’t the idiots just send the clothes by taxi?” The Ayatollah inquired.

“Of course, your Eminence, we’ll do that,” the cleric bowed again, “they’re wondering what should be done about the said infidel apostate Salman Rushdie?”.

“What does Rushdie say exactly?” The Ayatollah reached for a wet towel to wipe his hands.

“He mentions that our Prophet (peace be upon him) succumbed to the temptations of Satan and put in the original edition of the Quran that Allah had 3 daughters al-Lat, al-Uzza and Manat and that it is perfectly acceptable to pray to them the 3 daughters of Allah. Of course our Prophet (peace be upon him) repented and removed these verses from the Quran (found in an-Najm 53: 19-22),” the cleric trembled.

“He mentions this?” The Ayatollah raised one of his satanically Mephistopheles black eyebrows.

Ayatollah Khomeini

“Yes, your Eminence,” the cleric bowed again.

“Blasphemy,” the Ayatollah rents his robes that had been covered in a sticky creamy white substance, “I issue a fatwa (death sentence) on the blaspheming apostate Rushdie’s head.”

A few days later in London, England, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was reading in The Times of London about the Ayatollah Khomein’s Valentine’s Day fatwa on Salman Rushdie author of The Satanic Verses.

“The 3 daughters mentioned in The Satanic Verses… al-Lat, al-Uzza and Manat?” The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set rubbed his chin, “I remember them from the days when I visited the Arabian peninsula millenia ago. They were the most delightful vampiresses. In fact, al-Lat, she was called Lilith in ancient Babylon and the Babylonian Talmud. In fact, she rescued me from that dungeon in Cairo back in 1939 where I was held by British commandos so I wouldn’t object at the wedding of Her Highness Princess Fawzia Fuad of Egypt to Crown Prince Mohammad Reza Pahlavi of Iran. Although as it turns out an Islamic wedding ceremony doesn’t have that Church of England Book of Common Prayer bit about “If any man (or vampire) knoweth of any reasons why these two may not be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 2nd
2017.

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Vampire Set and Princess Fawzia Fuad of Egypt

April 1, 2017 at 3:35 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Egyptian vampire Set had returned to Egypt in 1938.

It had been 20 years since he had left Egypt- his tomb having been dug up in November 1918 and his having hopped aboard a ship to England at Alexandria in December 1918.

He noticed since his 1938 return to Egypt that he was naturally being followed around the country by two British Intelligence agents who had been following him now for quite a number of years- Henry Armstrong and Thomas Tennyson.

He gathered that the two intelligence agents were in close contact with a British MP who didn’t seem to like him- Winston Churchill.

Set wondered whether Churchill’s enmity was due to the Egyptian vampire’s friendship with Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler.

While in Egypt, Set fell in love with a 16-year-old Egyptian girl Princess Fawzia Fuad of Egypt the daughter of Egypt’s king Fuad I.

But while Sol Invictus Set was showing her many a hot night in Cairo and Alexandria, plans were being made for the Princess’ engagement to Iran’s Crown Prince Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. The Crown Prince’s father Reza Shah Pahlavi favoured the marriage in that it united a Sunni royal the Egyptian princess with a Shia royal the Iranian Crown Prince.

The Royal couple’s engagement was announced in May 1938.

Set, never one for observing rules or protocol, continued to see the princess.

A group of British commandos captured and imprisoned Set so that Princess Fawzia Fuad of Egypt could marry Crown Prince Mohammad Reza Pahlavi of Iran at Abdeen Palace in Cairo on March 15th 1939- a marriage that was approved of by Set’s sister the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis.

While Set was being held at an underground dungeon in Cairo, an owl appeared at his dungeon window one moonlit night.

The owl was in reality the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who had shapeshifted into an owl.

“Do you need some help?” The owl asked in a hooting manner.

“Yes, fly to Berlin and tell my friend Adolf to get me out of here,” Set pleaded.

The owl did just that.

A surprise Nazi commando raid rescued Mr. Sol Invictus Set.

Set flew to Tehran where he showed up at the Marble Palace in Tehran and asked the new Queen of Iran Fawzia Fuad to sail away to a Caribbean island with him.
Princess Fawzia Fuad

Queen Fawzia refused citing an allergy to coconut milk.

Set bitterly said to Fawzia before he left, “Your marriage won’t last.”

He was right.

Fawzia left Iran and moved back to Cairo in May 1945 and obtained an Egyptian divorce. Her official Iranian divorce came through on November 17th, 1948.

Set having left Iran in April of 1939 went back to London and drowned his sorrows in Caribbean rum and coconut milk.

Crown Prince Mohammad Reza Pahlavi who became King of Iran in September 1941 (and was later to declare himself Emperor or King of Kings of the country on October 26th 1967) enjoyed a great continuing friendship with the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis as well as one of Isis’ great friends the Luciferian satanist David Rockefeller.

Sol Invictus Set who was a satanic satanist (as opposed to the wishy washy luciferian satanists like his sister Isis, esteemed banker David Rockefeller, billionaire businessman George Soros and the Clintons Bill and Hillary) got his revenge on the Shah by arranging his overthrow through the help of a satanic satanist Shia clergyman the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini who attained power in Tehran in February 1979.

Sol Invictus Set was later convinced by one of his employees Renfield R. Renfield to abandon support for the Islamic Republic of Iran and support the Israelis instead.

Set still continued to oppose Arab Spring groups who were backed by Osiris and Isis’ luciferian satanist elites within the U.S. and Western Europe.

As for Princess Fawzia Fuad, she died in Cairo Egypt on July 2nd 2013.

Set never bothered attending her funeral as this would have interrupted a scheduled golf game he had with British Prime Minister David Cameron.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 1st
2017.

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Orson Welles, Donald Trump and Dracul Van Helsing

March 28, 2017 at 4:14 pm (Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The year was 1946 and actress Rita Hayworth was filming the movie Gilda with her co-star Glenn Ford.

She returned home to her husband Orson Welles only to see a mysterious entity de-materialize in front of her.

Sol Invictus Set De-materializing

“Who was that who just disappeared outside the door?” Rita asked Orson as she kissed him on the cheek.

“That was that London-based billionaire Mr. Sol Invictus Set who had asked me to direct a film for him,” Orson replied.

“Well, he certainly got the Hell out of here,” Rita quipped.

“I should say so,” Orson poured himself a glass of whisky and soda, “Hell is definitely where he belongs. He wanted me to write and direct a film about Hitler.”

“The subject material would certainly catch the attention of the world,” Rita poured herself a glass of milk.

“But he wanted it to be a film expressing admiration for Hitler,” Welles’ eyes flashed anger.

“Well, then you were wise telling him where to go,” Rita kissed him again.

Welles softened, “Thanks, Rita.”

Rita was thoughtful, “You seem to have a habit of offending billionaires, Orson. First William Randolph Hearst and now this Sol Invictus Set. I hope this doesn’t cost you.”

“Cost me? How?” Welles looked quizzically at his wife.

“I hope Hollywood doesn’t decide to blacklist you,” Rita looked almost clairvoyant, “turn down your ideas for making films. Europe would probably be more accepting of a genius such as yourself. But it would be a shame if America turned its back on supporting your artistic excellence.”

For once in his life, Welles was speechless.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office wondering how he’d be able to use the Mary Poppins word Supercalifranchilisticexpealidocious in a tweet and still be able to make a profound statement.

The phone rang.

Trump picked it up.

“Hello?” Trump ran a radioactive monitoring comb through his hair.

“Hello, Dad, it’s me,” it was his daughter Ivanka, “you had called me earlier while I was busy chatting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.”

“Yes, it was your closeness to Justin Trudeau that I was wanting to talk to you about,” Trump explained, “I was listening to a radio program about the paranormal on the radio last night featuring some former Canadian cabinet minister- some guy called Paul Hellyer. Anyways Paul Hellyer was saying that Justin Trudeau is in close contact with an ET gray from the planet Nibiru – some alien chap by the name of Gali-Gula whose ET body is supposedly possessed by the spirit of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula. I was wondering if you could phone Prime Minister Trudeau for me and ask him if this is true.”

“But Dad, why don’t you just phone him yourself?” Ivanka asked.

“Yes, but as you know somebody has been leaking all the phone conversations I’ve been having with world leaders. If that one gets leaked, especially in lieu of the unusual subject matter, there may be some among the American people who’ll start to think I’m nuts,” Trump was shocked by the high level of radioactivity in his hair when he looked at his comb monitor.

“All right, Dad, I’ll call him,” Ivanka put her mobile phone down, smoothed her skirt and then speed dialed Justin Trudeau’s number.

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing were making love in a gondola on a canal in Venice.

“In Venice, veni, vidi, vici,” Dracul said as he collapsed in Qonzilqointec’s arms and even though he was a non-smoker, he longed for a cigarette for some reason.

“In Venice, you came, you saw, you conquered,” Qonzilqointec sighed in ecstasy.

He certainly came all right.

Qonzilqointec thought maybe she really should have taken her dress completely off.

She lit a cigarette and wondered what dry cleaner Monica Lewinsky used on her blue dress.

“We’re here at the house of the masked ball,” the gondolier announced.

“Who puts on a masked ball during Lent?” Qonzilqointec asked, “aren’t carnival masquerade balls supposed to happen before Lent?”.

“Welcome,” the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Sol Invictus Set materialized before the door.

Sol Invictus Set Re-materializing

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 28th
2017.

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A Conversation With Athelstan

December 2, 2016 at 6:05 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

A Conversation With Athelstan

“Well, Athelstan,” the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set sampled a glass of cognac with a dash of Type O blood and a twist of lemon, “there haven’t been any terrorist attacks in Europe so far this month.”

“Indeed not, sir,” Athelstan his butler and valet agreed.

“Damned thugs,” Set slurped on his iced Popsicle statue of the Hindu goddess Kali, “the Middle East was a lot more civilized when the people there worshipped my siblings and myself.”

“Very much so, sir,” Athelstan dusted off the replica model of the cedar box in which Set had placed his brother Osiris’ 14 body parts after he had dismembered him.

“Of course I really should have been the ruler of Egypt not my brother,” Set put down his hieroglyphic manuscript tablet copy of the ancient Egyptian bestseller In Praise of Fratricide which he had written many millennia ago.

“One of history’s great misfortunes that it never happened, sir,” Athelstan dusted off Set’s DVD collection of every single episode of Doctor Who.

“I wonder what my brother Osiris is doing in Rome,” Set picked up a copy of his Latin-Egyptian Dictionary.

“Presumably, he’s doing as the Romans do if he’s following the advice of that famous maxim, sir,” Athelstan adjusted the 1st Edition of Bartlett’s Great Quotations on the bookshelf.

“I wonder if Renfield has wiretapped Osiris’ phone line in Rome yet,” Set started brushing his teeth and his vampiric incisors with the new Colgate Ultra-Glistening Whitening Toothpaste.

“I believe he has, sir,” Athelstan checked his text message on his smart phone.

“So why hasn’t he returned to London yet?” Set asked Athelstan.

“I believe he’s still eating spaghetti and trying to make out with some of the beautiful young Italian women,” Athelstan answered.

“That sounds like Renfield all right,” Set used some Listerine mouthwash to gargle.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 7th
2016.

Post-Script: This incident between Set and Athelstan happened back on August 7th of this year (the same day I wrote this blog post).

As a result of Renfield tapping Osiris’ phone, Renfield is now in possession of the information to be found in an ancient Gnostic gospel manuscript that Donald Trump is a Merovingian Bloodline descendent of an alleged marriage between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.

For further information, please read:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2016/11/25/osiris-and-the-lost-nag-hammadi-scroll/

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