Sekhmet, Set and Bastet
The year was 1938.
It was the month of November.
20 years earlier the Egyptian vampire Set’s tomb had been dug up in Egypt by Oxford trained Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury.
In fact, Set’s tomb had been opened at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month- the same minute the Armistice ending the Great War came into effect).
Set now lived in London, England where he had amassed a fortune.
Set was also one of the world business oligarchs supporting Hitler.
Not because Set was a Nazi.
But because Set thought Hitler would destroy Stalin.
Set hated Stalin because Stalin had arranged the murder of Set’s mortal fiancee back in 1924.
Sir Winston Churchill knew that Sol Invictus Set (as the wealthy businessman Egyptian vampire called himself in London circles) supported Hitler.
Churchill happened to run into the Egyptian lion headed goddess Sekhmet in the Egyptology section of the British Museum library one evening.
Sekhmet agreed to spy on Set for Churchill.
The goddess turned herself into an Egyptian teen-aged girl calling herself Sekhmeta and showed up at Set’s doorstep claiming to be a distant descendant of Horus (who was Set’s nephew) thus making herself Set’s niece (a great great great x great niece several times over).
Set agreed to let Sekhmeta stay with him.
One night 80 years ago, Set caught Sekhmeta listening to American jazz and jive music on the radio instead of doing her homework.
Set promptly administered a spanking.
Rubbing her behind and reaching for a pillow, Sekhmeta said to Set, “I’ll get you for that, Uncle Set.”
“I’m sure you will,” Set laughed.
Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet was rising up behind an FBI agent and his girlfriend in a movie theatre to strike.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 17th
2018.
1st Video of The Resurrected Dragon Princess Lenora of Lemuria
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was lying in his upright Egyptian sarcophagus in his colossal bedroom in his colossal London mansion drinking chai tea on a tray in front of him that was poured from a tea pot that resembled the Taj Mahal.
His cat Nefertiti Galore caught several vampiric flesh eating rats that had been sent into Set’s bedroom by his enemy siblings Isis and Osiris.
Set’s butler and valet Athelstan arrived to tell him how the Cousteau brothers’ marine archaeological expeditions (that Set was personally financing) were going.
Both Cousteau brothers Louis Alphonse and Toulouse (who were great nephews of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau) had discovered the lost continents of Lemuria and Atlantis respectively the past couple of months.
In the South Pacific, Louis Alphonse Cousteau had discovered the glass coffin containing the perfectly preserved body of Lenora the last Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess of Lemuria in the sunken city of Mu the capital city of the lost continent of Lemuria.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher had sent a drone (in the shape of a mechanical pterodactyl) to the South Pacific (an object photographed and video recorded by various people who posted the pics to YouTube conspiracy channels devoted to the topic of NASA covering up the existence of dinosaurs in the modern world) containing a test tube of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Resurrection Serum – a combination of ambrosia (that kept the Greek Olympian gods immortal) dried tana leaves (like in the early 1940s Universal Pictures Mummy films that kept the mummy Kharis alive), dried eucalyptus leaves (whose fresh eucalyptus leaves keep koala bears alive) and dried Canadian recreational cannabis leaves (whose smoking and inhaling keeps Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever alive).
The serum when poured between Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria’s lips immediately brought her back from the dead.
Louis Alphonse Cousteau shot a video of the Lemurian Dragon Warrioress Princess doing her happy dance at being brought back from the dead:
The Dragon Princess wasn’t quite ready yet to show her face to the world.
After watching the video, Set then closed his sarcophagus lid.
Athelstan proceeded to do some dusting around the Egyptian vampire’s bedroom when suddenly he noticed a milky white substance overflowing from his Divine Vampiric Lordship’s sarcophagus.
“Good Lord!” Athelstan exclaimed, “Isis and Osriris have found a way to drown the master!”.
He immediately ran over and opened the sarcophagus lid.
“Close the f%!&*!ing lid, you idiot,” Set shouted as he was caught with his Hugh Hefner style red velvet pyjama bottoms down and his hands on the region between his hips.
“Sorry, sir,” Athelstan immediately closed the lid down, “I thought maybe your nephew Horus had come up with a way of Death By Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 8th
2018.
Reblog of Allatallahbel Swims To Nephthys’ Undersea Tomb
A vampire novel chapter I wrote just over a year ago.
Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal had hired two London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley to track down the sole surviving Vampiric Knights-Templar for her.
She had also hired another London private eye Randall Hopkins to spy on the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set for her (Randall Hopkins accepted the case immediately since he had prior experience spying on Set having been hired by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis to do just that 3 years ago).
Randall Hopkins had broke into Set’s house where he located a couriered document sent to Set by the German government.
Apparently a World War One German UB-II U-Boat submarine had just been found off the coast of Belgium.
According to the sub’s last manifest written down before its last voyage (the manifest was found in the German National Archives) the Egyptian vampiress Nephthys (Set’s long lost wife) was on board the…
View original post 171 more words
Renfield Discusses Dungeons With The Vampire Set
Renfield Discusses Dungeons With The Vampire Set
Renfield R. Renfield MP was discussing the dungeons in the basement of the colossal West London mansion with the mansion’s owner and his former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.
“So you want to use part of the basement dungeons as interrogation chambers for MI-6?” Set inquired as he chewed on a roast crocodile.
“That’s right, Boss,” Renfield was used to calling the former Egyptian god of darkness and the desert by that name from the days when he used to work for him.
“Well of course part of the basement dungeons my new Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering Sherrielock Holmes uses for her dominatrix service,” Set licked crocodile flesh off his fingers.
“I know,” Renfield adjusted the cushions under his tender buttocks, “it’s the other part of the basement dungeons that I’d use.”
“And what prisoners will you be keeping there?” Set belched into the evening air.
“Some Russian military intelligence officers we captured in Syria through the efforts of our allies Prince Vlad Dracula and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of the Golem,” Renfield replied.
“So you’re moving quickly against Putin’s Russia eh?” Set drank from a jar of Josef Stalin’s blood he kept for special occasions, “while Theresa May is publicly expelling 23 Russian diplomats from the UK, you’re privately rounding up members of Russia’s high-ranking military and intelligence services?”.
“That is correct,” Renfield said, “because if Putin wants to get into a pissing contest with me, he better have strong and powerful kidneys because mine are made of steel.”
Set who was privately worried these days (and nights) that he might finally be coming down with senility at his advanced age of a few thousand years wrinkled his forehead.
He was trying to remember if his Chief Scientist at Set Enterprises Dr. Cadbury Rocher had equipped Renfield R. Renfield with steel kidneys when he had genetically created him in a lab.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 14th
2018.
Cleopatra Regenesis?
Cleopatra Regenesis?
In the White House, Donald Trump was having a dream in which his former White House aide Steve Bannon was drinking nanite Earl Grey tea and then the latter’s head exploded.
Waking up from the dream, Trump immediately tweeted, “Steve Bannon has lost his mind.”
After tweeting, Trump went back to sleep where he dreamed that he was in a sauna with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and the two compared their respective nuclear buttons to see whose was the biggest and most powerful.
Meanwhile in London, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, after reading Anne and Christopher Rice’s book Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra, had asked Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to make a genetic clone of ancient Egypt’s Queen Cleopatra (whose official title was Cleopatra VII Philopator) because Set figured that such a woman would be worth making love to.
Dr. Rocher replied that he would gladly do that except first he needed some of Cleopatra’s DNA and in order to do that, it might be helpful if Cleopatra’s tomb were found.
Set found himself in agreement with Dr. Rocher’s brilliant Sherlock Holmesian deduction and was soon on the phone to various archaeologists and Egyptologists that he knew to see if they would find Cleopatra’s tomb for him.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 3rd
2018.
Renfield Receives A Knighthood
Renfield Receives A Knighthood
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked somewhat perplexed as he sat in his chair in the living room of his colossal West London mansion and tried to read his copy of The Times of London.
For every time his former employee and current tenant the British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the living room, Amadeus Emanon would play Sir Edward Elgar’s musical piece Land of Hope and Glory on the piano.
Finally exasperated beyond all point of vampiric endurance, Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan who was busy pouring tea, “Why is it that every time Renfield enters the room, Amadeus starts playing Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory on the piano?”.
“Beg your pardon, sir,” Athelstan handed Set his cup of Earl Grey tea, “but Mr. Renfield requested that Amadeus do so.”
“Why in the name of God (who doesn’t exist),” Set added honey, sugar, lemon, milk and brain expanding nanites to his tea, “did Renfield make such a request?”.
“Because Mr. Renfield has been named to the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list,” Athelstan answered.
“What?” Set spewed out a mouthful of tea which was a good thing because the sight of a vampire’s head exploding is not a pretty thing to see.
“Yes, he’s been awarded a knighthood,” Athelstan calmly wiped up the tea stain with Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ Bavarian Wild Mushroom Cleaner Stain Remover.
“In heaven’s name (even though Heaven doesn’t exist),” Set spewed out the remainder of his tea out of his mouth, “why?”.
“Ostensibly for planning that British Brigade of Gurkhas raid on that ISIS Islamic State training camp in Libya back on June 6th of this year in which Renfield had the Gurkhas tie nails and explosives to the ISIS members’ tiny testicles and which Renfield then detonated simultaneously at the push of a button – a raid Renfield planned and executed in retaliation for the Manchester and London terrorist attacks,” Athelstan answered.
“Is there another reason Renfield might have been awarded the knighthood?” Set asked.
“He dove in and saved one of the Queen’s corgis from drowning in a swimming pool earlier this year,” Athelstan remarked.
“Good God,” Set went into another relapse of Judeo-Christian terminology, “Renfield is conceited enough as it is. Imagine what he’ll be like once we have to call him Sir Renfield.”
“The whole thing fills me with chills, sir,” Athelstan dumped the tea outside which was then drunk by a rat whose head exploded after doing so.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 30th
2017.
The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution
The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution
Renfield R. Renfield MP stood up in the British House of Commons and began his speech, “It was 100 years ago today that the Russian Bolshevik Revolution occurred when at 9:40 PM local time the cruiser gunship Aurora fired a shot at the Winter Palace in Petrograd (St. Petersburg) forcing the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky to surrender.
The Revolution marked the start of a century of bloodshed as Communists killed millions of people in their attempt to create a Utopia of peace, bread and prosperity.”
. . .
100 years earlier-
October 25th 1917 (on the old Julian calendar which Russia was using at the time)
November 7th 1917 (on the new Gregorian calendar which the Russian Socialist Federative Soviet Republic under Lenin would later adopt in 1918).
On the cruiser gunship Aurora, the 50-foot long Egyptian Serpent Apophis was coiled aboard deck.
Apophis who had convinced the German Kaiser Wilhelm II to smuggle Lenin back into Russia via Finland.
Apophis who had convinced the “useful idiots” in the Woodrow Wilson Administration to allow Leon Trotsky to leave the U.S. and return to Russia.
Apophis who hoped the new Red Dawn would forever block out Ra’s rising sun.
“Will anyone be able to stop this Revolution?” The Bolshevik captain of the Aurora asked.
“No,” Apophis shook his serpentine head, “it’s not likely that sometime within the next year that they’ll dig up Set from his tomb and he shall once again slay me with his giant spear like he used to do when he rode as a passenger aboard Ra’s solar barge.”
. . .
Renfield (whose code name was The Spear of Set when he worked at Set Enterprises) concluded his speech, “Vladimir Putin’s mistake in Russia is to attempt a synthesis of Imperial Czarist Russia and Soviet Stalinist Russia – a synthesis bound for failure. As with every other Hegelian synthesis in history. For as any person inclined towards sensible philosophy knows- Hegel was a pompous ass full of wind and fury whose flatulence in history will ultimately signify nothing.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 7th
2017.
Allatallahbel Swims To Nephthys’ Undersea Tomb
Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal had hired two London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley to track down the sole surviving Vampiric Knights-Templar for her.
She had also hired another London private eye Randall Hopkins to spy on the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set for her (Randall Hopkins accepted the case immediately since he had prior experience spying on Set having been hired by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis to do just that 3 years ago).
Randall Hopkins had broke into Set’s house where he located a couriered document sent to Set by the German government.
Apparently a World War One German UB-II U-Boat submarine had just been found off the coast of Belgium.
According to the sub’s last manifest written down before its last voyage (the manifest was found in the German National Archives) the Egyptian vampiress Nephthys (Set’s long lost wife) was on board the vessel.
When Set read the courier document, he practically shit himself.
After using up the mansion’s entire rolls of toilet paper, Set then flew to Atlanta Georgia to meet former U.S. President Jimmy Carter.
Set figured that if Carter could negotiate a successful peace treaty between Egypt and Israel (like he did back in 1978), then he could successfully negotiate an amicable divorce agreement between Nephthys and himself if Nephthys was still alive.
Allatallahbel decided to swim to the spot where the sub was located (she had seduced a German Federal cabinet minister to tell her the location) to see for herself whether Nephthys was alive or dead.
When she emerged and walked back to her Belgian B and B, a group of ex-DARPA operatives on a European tour snapped her pic with their smart phones.
One ex-DARPA op named Daniel (who had an otter following behind him) started to curse, “Dang! I forgot to recharge my smart phone battery!”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 26th
2017.
A Haitian Vampire Huntress, An Aztec Vampiress and A German WW1 U-Boat
A Haitian Vampire Huntress, An Aztec Vampiress and A German WW1 U-Boat
The Haitian vampire huntress Yoanna Soleil was working in her office in the Haitian capital of Port-au-Prince when her phone rang.
“Hello,” Yoanna picked up her phone.
“Mlle. Soleil, this is the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec,”
said the sensual feminine voice on the other end of the line.
“Well, well, your Imperial Highness,” Yoanna Soleil laughed, “this is a surprise. It’s not often that a vampire huntress gets a phone call from a vampiress. I must warn you however that I’m not like the heterosexual sex addict Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing nor am I lesbian or bisexual in my sexual orientation so you won’t be able to use your seductive, sexy and sensual vampiress charms on me.”
“That’s not what I’m calling about,” Qonzilqointec sounded exasperated, “my penthouse here in Mexico City has just been severely shaken by a 7.1 magnitude earthquake and from my vantage point way up high, I can see dozens of buildings around the city have collapsed.”
“I’m so sorry,” Yoanna Soleil was sincere for her own country had been hit by a devastating earthquake only 7 years ago.
“This is the 2nd major earthquake that has hit Mexico 🇲🇽 in the past 10 days,” the vampire princess sighed, “as you know an 8.2 magnitude earthquake hit southern Mexico back on September 8th.”
“I know,” Yoanna said then asked, “so why are you calling me?”.
“Well, I don’t have to tell you about all the major hurricanes that have been hitting the Caribbean region this season,” the Aztec vampiress stated.
“No you don’t,” Yoanna agreed.
“That’s why I’m calling you, Mlle. Soleil,” Qonzilqointec’s voice was pleading, “I think what’s been happening is connected. You are aware of course of the kraken Uhluhtc that sleeps at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea.”
Uhluhtc the sleeping Kraken at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea was considered just a legend among the educated elites of the Caribbean, Central America and Mexico.
However both vampiress and vampire huntress having dealt with things supernatural during their respective lifetimes knew that the kraken Uhluhtc was very much real.
“Yes,” Yoanna Soleil answered.
“Uhluhtc is not sleeping anymore,” the Aztec vampiress stated emphatically, “and that is what causing all these major earthquakes and major hurricanes of the moment. I propose we form an alliance to destroy it.”
. . .
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had received a confidential message from German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
“I wonder what this is all about?” Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan as he opened the sealed envelope marked TOP SECRET and CONFIDENTIAL.
“I have no idea, sir,” answered Athelstan who was sporting a black eye having had to rescue his elderly mother (who was currently visiting London) from a bar room brawl in a London pub the night before when she had once again got into a violent argument with another patron over matters relating to British and European football ⚽️ like she was prone to do.
“The courier said it had something to do with that World War One German UB-II U-Boat submarine they just found off the coast of Belgium 🇧🇪,” Amadeus Emanon spoke up from the neighbouring piano room.
“I heard about that,” Set answered, “what does that have to do with me? The tomb I was buried alive in for millennia wasn’t opened until Armistice Day in 1918 so I couldn’t have anything to do with the sinking of a German U-Boat submarine.”
“You have an excellent alibi in my opinion, sir,” Athelstan agreed.
“Oh my god Ra,” Set turned paler than even his usual pale looking vampiric self, “it’s who the German government believe was on board that U-Boat submarine that concerns me.”
“And who might that be, sir?” Athelstan inquired politely.
But Set was in such a state of shock that he was at a loss for words.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 19th
2017.
Set Rides The Train
Set Rides The Train
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was riding the train.
He was sitting quietly in his seat 💺 when a long haired freak walked by with a baby stroller.
What was some freak doing with a baby stroller in this part of the train?
Another woman presumably his wife followed him.
And then another woman- presumably the wife’s ugly sister followed her.
They sat a couple of seats in front of him.
Then the brat in the stroller started crying.
And crying.
Set seemed to recall a verse from the ancient Hebrew psalms about smashing babies’ heads against the walls of the city of Jerusalem.
Well, it was a long way from Jerusalem but the train wall should be just as handy.
Set strolled over to the baby carriage, picked up the screaming brat and bashed her head against the wall killing her instantly.
The mother screamed.
Set used his 66-inch long fingernails to decapitate the mother.
The father started to protest.
“Can’t have creeps like you reproducing and contaminating the human gene pool,” Set likewise used his nails to rip his head off.
The ugly sister of the mother, the ugly sister-in-law of the father and the ugly aunt of the now deceased screaming brat- the ugly 3 in 1- now raised her ugly shrill screaming voice in a cacophonous symphony of protest.
That was likewise cut short by Set’s long uncut fingernails.
Set then ripped the ugly woman’s face to shreds with his nails for he had recently read an article in National Geographic Magazine about how genetically created satyr serial killer and DARPA astral assassin Pan Goatee was attempting to make Earth a more aesthetically pleasing place by killing ugly women.
The ancient Egyptian god of darkness figured he might as well contribute to the cause for ever since some idiot said “Let there be light”, there was always the possibility that light might shed light on ugliness.
Set had once supported Hitler’s rise to power.
While he disagreed with Hitler (a self-professed artist) on painting all members of the same race or ethnic group with one brush, he Set did think that certain individuals and possibly even one entire family could be inferior and basically human scum and should therefore be eliminated from the face of the earth as was the case with this Native North American Indian trio (a quartet- if you include the brat) who thought it was perfectly all right to conduct some noisy powwow ceremony on what should be an upper class train.
If they still published Eugenics magazines like they did back in the 1930s, Set thought of an article he could write on the subject.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 4th
2017.
