Reblog of Orson Welles and The Unusual Production of MacBeth

March 31, 2019 at 9:11 pm (Entertainment, Horror, Literature, Movies, Plays, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

A vampire novel chapter and blog post I wrote 4 years ago today.

Dracul Van Helsing

Orson Welles and The Unusual Production of MacBeth

It was March 1945.

And talented director and actor of stage, radio and film the great Orson Welles was directing a short scene from William Shakespeare’s MacBeth for an upcoming charity event.

Welles (in front of the stage): All right. Enter the three witches.

(Thunder and lightning. Enter three witches)

First Witch (lowering “her” cowl to reveal the face of Adolf Hitler- a fact which startles Orson Welles):

When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning or in rain?

Second Witch (lowering her “cowl” to reveal the face of Josef Stalin- a fact which also startles Orson Welles):

When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.

Third Witch (lowers its cowl to reveal a face wearing a mask. It speaks in a very metallic sounding voice):

That will be ere the set of sun.

(On the wall at the…

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Julius Caesar On The Ides of March: A Poem

March 15, 2017 at 4:23 pm (History, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Julius Caesar ventured out on the Ides of March
only to discover his toga was loaded with starch
Calpurnia had overdone herself
with premonitions off the shelf
from a soothsayer warning
to dreams before morning
The Ides of March for Caesar did not bare well
but Caesar told them all to go to Hell
or the equivalent Latin expression
but Cassius suffered not indigestion
with his lean and hungry look
from underneath toga a knife he took
and Brutus did deliver the final blow
Caesar’s toga was bloodied from head to toe
at the feet of Pompey’s statue Caesar fell
and his blood flowed like water from gushing well.

Great Caesar had fallen and could not get up
Blood and betrayal was in his final cup
it was a cup he was forced to drink
for from Ides of March he would not shrink
He had gone forth steadfast
to a moment to be his last

Sometimes it’s wise to listen to one’s wife
One could then live an extended life.

-A poem written by Christopher
March 15th 2017
The Ides of March

Calpurnia
Calpurnia warned her husband Julius not to go out on the Ides of March

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Donald Trump: The Shakespearian Tragi-Comedy

February 20, 2017 at 4:40 pm (Literature, News, Plays, Poetry) (, , , , )

Donald Trump (surveying the land); It is an ill wind that blows from yonder lying corrupt media…

(The wind coming through the oval office window blows the Donald’s hair off)

Trump (picking up his hair and looking at it): Alas! Poor Yorick! I knew him well, Horatio.

Mike Pence: The name is Michael, Mr. President.

Trump: Pence or Flynn?

Mike Pence: Pence.

Trump: That’s good. I thought I fired Flynn.

Mike Pence: He has suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Mr. President.

Trump: Yes, but the fault lies not in the stars but in ourselves.

Mike Pence: Look on yonder screen. What evil potion has been thrown at Kim Jung-nam.

Trump: What a towel. What a poison. What a woman. Come, let me clutch thee.

(Trump picks a pussy cat up off the office floor)

Mike Pence: Many a tragedy has befallen the nation of Malaysia these past 3 years.

Trump: Such ill fortune has fallen on that country. Just as good fortune and fair sun now shine on ours. Still, when in Malaysia, do as the North Koreans do.

Mike Pence: Do you still intend to build the wall, Mr. President?

Trump: I do. Even now through this very door comes a man to talk about the wall.

Snout (from A Midsummer Night’s Dream enters Oval Office and bows) :

In this same interlude it doth befall
that I one Snout by name present a wall
and such a wall as I would have you think
that had in it a crannied hole or chink
Through which the lovers Pyramus and Thisbe
Did whisper often very secretly…

Trump: Get out, fool.

(Snout flees Oval Office as does Trump’s reflection from the mirror)

Trump: Oh wherefore art thou, John Wayne?
A horse. A horse. My kingdom for a horse.

(A Dalmatian dog enters the room, lifts his leg and pees on the Donald)

Trump: Out, out, damned Spot.

(Curtain falls on an Oval Office in chaos or so say the Fake News media)

-A neo-Shakespearian tale
written by Christopher
Monday February 20th
2017.

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Haiku About Saint Crispin’s and Saint Crispinian’s Day and The Battle of Agincourt

October 25, 2016 at 2:56 pm (Literature, Plays, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Saint Crispin’s and Saint Crispinian’s Day and The Battle of Agincourt

Henry V led them
Inspires with stirring speech
this blest happy few

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Haiku On The 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s Death

April 23, 2016 at 7:38 pm (Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, History, Inspiration, Literature, News, Plays, Poetry) (, , , , )

Haiku On The 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s Death

Save in this man’s case
the good he did still lives on
not interred with bones

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600th Anniversary of Battle of Agincourt

October 25, 2015 at 6:50 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Literature, Plays, Quotations and Sayings of Dracul Van Helsing) (, , , , , , , )

600th Anniversary of Battle of Agincourt

It was 600 years ago today- October 25th 1415- St. Crispin’s Day- that England’s King Henry V delivered a speech written for him by the yet-to-be- born future playwright William Shakespeare and then went on to defeat French forces at the Battle of Agincourt.

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Orson Welles and The Unusual Production of MacBeth

March 31, 2015 at 5:36 pm (Entertainment, Horror, Literature, Movies, Plays, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Orson Welles and The Unusual Production of MacBeth

It was March 1945.

And talented director and actor of stage, radio and film the great Orson Welles was directing a short scene from William Shakespeare’s MacBeth for an upcoming charity event.

Welles (in front of the stage): All right. Enter the three witches.

(Thunder and lightning. Enter three witches)

First Witch (lowering “her” cowl to reveal the face of Adolf Hitler- a fact which startles Orson Welles):

When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning or in rain?

Second Witch (lowering her “cowl” to reveal the face of Josef Stalin- a fact which also startles Orson Welles):

When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.

Third Witch (lowers its cowl to reveal a face wearing a mask. It speaks in a very metallic sounding voice):

That will be ere the set of sun.

(On the wall at the back of the stage are flashed images of a solar eclipse followed by a blood red moon)

First Witch (Hitler): Where the place?

Second Witch (Stalin): Upon the heath.

(A strange multicoloured spiral image is then projected on to the screen behind the stage. Orson Welles does not recognize the image on this day in March 1945 but later generations would have recognized the spiral as the double helix of DNA)

Third Witch (with mask and metallic sounding voice): There to meet with MacBeth.

(The image of a face is then projected on to the screen behind the stage)

Orson Welles (waking up in bed with a start): Great heavens!

Rita Hayworth (next to him): What is it?

Orson Welles: I just had the most terrifying dream.

Rita Hayworth: What was it?

Orson Welles (scratching his head): I can’t remember… it’s receding from my memory… but…

Rita Hayworth: But what?

Orson Welles: I have seen the future… and it’s a nightmare.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 31st
2015.

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Renfield and Andy Warhol’s Prophetic Paintings

March 1, 2015 at 6:46 pm (Commentary, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield and Andy Warhol’s Prophetic Paintings

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were attending a special exhibit on Prophetic Works of Art at the Cirillo Gallery in London.
The first item they glanced at was what turned out to be a prophetic painting by Andy Warhol entitled Phoenix Llamas’ 15 Minutes of Fame that showed two llamas running amok through the streets of Phoenix, Arizona.

The next painting was also prophetic and was also by Andy Warhol- it was called Portrait of A San Francisco Transgendered Llama Wearing A Dress Whose Color Is The Subject of An Intense Debate.

The painting showed a llama wearing a dress whose colour changed depending upon what direction you gazed on it.

From one direction, the dress appeared blue and black.

From another direction, it appeared gold and white.

The third item was a single line on a piece of paper from a lost manuscript of a long lost and virtually forgotten William Shakespeare play that the Bard penned in 1615 entitled Vision of The World Four Centuries Hence.

The single line read,

#TheDress ‘Tis a tweet retweeted by idiots full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 1st
2015.

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Haiku About Hamlet’s Father’s Ghost

January 5, 2015 at 8:28 pm (Humour, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Hamlet’s Father’s Ghost

-written by Christopher
Monday January 5th
2015.

Hamlet’s father’s ghost
seeks Cinnamon Danish bun
atop Elsinore

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If Baseball Had Been Around In Shakespeare’s Time

August 6, 2014 at 4:26 pm (Entertainment, Literature, Plays, Satire, Sports) (, , , , , , , )

If Baseball Had Been Around In Shakespeare’s Time

Here is a scenario of what it might have been like if baseball had been around in Shakespeare’s time and a baseball game had been performed within one of Shakespeare’s plays:

Scene: Sir John is up to bat.

The pitcher throws the ball.

Sir John hits the ball with his bat and sends it flying.

Umpire (calling out) : Foul ball.

Sir John (aghast) : Foul ball?

Umpire (nodding his head) : Indeed it t’is. Foul ball.

Sir John (protesting) : Why, I have never seen so fair a foul.

Umpire (taking off his mask) : Are you questioning my decision, sir?

Sir John (standing up to the umpire chin to chin) : Indeed I am, sir.

Umpire : Then thou art a knave and a fool, sir.

Sir John: What sayest thou? That I am a knave and a fool?

Umpire: Indeed I say it. I hast said it. And I will say it again. Thou art a knave and a fool, sir.

Sir John: Then verily I say unto you that thou art a pimple on my lady’s plump bottom, sir.

Umpire (foaming at the mouth) : What? A pimple on thy lady’s plump bottom? I demand that you withdraw that remark, sir.

Sir John: indeed I will not, sir.

Umpire: Ye shall not?

Sir John: Indeed I shall not.

Umpire: Then thou black-hearted snerd, thou leavest me no other choice but to throw you out and cast thee forth from the game.

Sir John : Then thou leavest me no other choice but to remove my trusty sword from my trusty sheath and slay thee.

(Sir John removes his sword from his sheath and stabs the umpire)

Umpire (crying out) : Oh, I am slain.

(falls to ground dead)

Voice of Shakespearian Baseball Announcer: It doth appear that last call was fatal to yon umpire’s career.

FINIS.

Body of dead umpire is carried in solemn procession off the field.

-A short play
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 6th
2014.

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