Yaldabaoth Meets A Bake-Danuki Tanuki

June 14, 2020 at 10:33 pm (Folklore, magic, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was in Geneva Switzerland visiting a friend of his Mittendorf Lesterius who was one of the garden gnomes of Zurich.

“What’s that a statue of?” Yaldabaoth pointed towards a statue.

“That’s a bake-danuki tanuki,” the garden gnome answered as he pulled millions of Swiss francs out of his trousers and started counting it.

“A what?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Well, a tanuki refers to a Japanese raccoon dog,” Mittendorf Lesterius explained, “The bake-danuki is a type of tanuki yokai (yokai is Japanese for supernatural beings) found in the classics and folklore and legends of Japan. Although the tanuki itself is a real existing animal, the bake-danuki of Japanese literature is a strange supernatural animal. They are able to shapeshift into other things or even people and can possess human beings. Most of the time though, this legendary tanuki the bake-danuki is reputed to be mischievous and jolly, a master of disguise and a shapeshifter, but somewhat gullible and absentminded.”

“So this statue then,” Yaldabaoth ate a bowl of Irish potatoes, “Is it a real statue or a bake-danuki tanuki in disguise?”.

“There’s one way to find out,” the garden gnome of Zurich smiled, “Pour some real Japanese sake over it.”

Mittendorf Lesterius poured sake over the statue and the statue came to life as a real bake-danuki tanuki.

The bake-danuki tanuki introduced himself as one Shogun Sake Kanasatake by name, grabbed a full bottle of sake and broke out into song,

Old comrades marching through the land
Forming steadfast and loyal friendships
Whether in need or in danger
They always hold together anew
During the attack, we will give them blow for blow
Honour and glory shall victory bring us
Let’s go, comrades, freshly reloaded (he helps himself to a 2nd bottle of sake)
This is our marching music (plays the accordion with his feet)
During the maneuver, the whole regiment accomodated
Itself in the headquarters of the nearest village house
And at the inn, there was flirting
With all the girls and especially the innkeeper’s daughter…

At that moment, a very Swiss looking gentleman wearing shorts and lederhosen approaches and shoots the bake-danuki tanuki in the buttocks.

The bake-danuki tanuki flees.

“I take it that was probably the innkeeper,” Yaldabaoth helped himself to a bottle of sake.

“You’re probably right,” the garden gnome of Zurich likewise helped himself to a bottle of sake.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 14th
2020.

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