It’s The Great Pumpkin, Headless Horseman!

October 11, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The talking and singing black zombie horse Bucephalus Reborn, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun and his pet pterodactyl Hovering Voyeurius Over Raquelis Welchius were in Sleepy Hollow having hoped to meet the Great Pumpkin this past Friday night.

Sadly the Great Pumpkin was held up at the U.S. border by ICE officials.

He was put into a cage and had to undergo a test for Covid-19.

Dr. Anthony Fauci was brought in to conduct the test himself.

Dr. Fauci determined that the Great Pumpkin was indeed positive for Covid-19.

However due to the large amount of crying and wailing children outside the ICE compound on the Ontario-New York Canada-U.S.border, 100 doctors from the Center For Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia were brought in to test the Great Pumpkin.

All 100 doctors determined that the Great Pumpkin was negative for Covid-19.

ICE decided to release the Great Pumpkin on this night October 11th.

The Great Pumpkin then headed south to the village of Sleepy Hollow.

Last evening October 10th as they were in their room in the Rip Van Winkle Inn, the 4 visitors to Sleepy Hollow mentioned in the first paragraph watched on their room’s TV set an interview between the ghost of TV talk show host Merv Griffin and the ghost of noted writer, director and actor Orson Welles which was being shown on the Paranormal Channel.

Yesterday October 10th 2020 was the 35th anniversary of the death of Orson Welles (Welles having died on October 10th 1985).

Welles’ ghost was currently serving as an advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield along with the ghost of Winston Churchill.

When the interview was over, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun turned the TV off and phoned downstairs to the front desk asking for a specific brand of rum.

The innkeeper replied, “We haven’t had that spirit here since 1999.”

An artist called Prince who was formerly the artist formerly known as Prince had apparently drank the last bottle at 10 minutes to midnight on the New Year’s Eve just before the advent of the year 2000.

Meanwhile on the radio a well-known female porn star was singing that old Bryan Adams hit Summer of ’69.

Buchephalus Reborn had grabbed an old geographical atlas off the room’s bookshelf and lay on the floor trying to locate the Hotel California on a map.

Outside the window could be seen a horde of eagles circling the inn.

Such was last night the evening of October 10th 2020.

Tonight October 11th 2020 the four were walking towards the Sleepy Hollow pumpkin patch where the Great Pumpkin was putting in an appearance (hopefully).

They walked past the cemetery where schoolteacher Ichabod Crane was buried.

As they walked past the cemetery, the horse Bucephalus Reborn started whistling the tune to an old Irish folk song Whistling Gypsy.

Yaldabaoth began to sing,

The whistling gypsy came over the hill
Down to the valley so shady;
He whistled and he sang
Till the green woods rang
And he won the heart of a lady.


The woman whose heart Yaldabaoth won and would be waiting for him on his bed in the room when they got back to the inn.

They soon arrived at the pumpkin patch.

As spooky music played on an abandoned church organ not far from the pumpkin patch, the Great Pumpkin rose above all the other pumpkins and said,

I am the Great Pumpkin
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night
and for the day confined to fast in fires
Till all the weight gained by eating me
Is burnt and purged away.

With that Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow grabbed the Great Pumpkin.

And Buchephalus Reborn grabbed a tube of Crazy Glue.

When his hooves removed the top off the tube of Crazy Glue, the horse asked, “Why do I feel the spirits of my relatives around me?”.

The horse then glued the Great Pumpkin to the top of the Headless Horseman’s body between his shoulders.

“Woe is me!” Were the Great Pumpkin’s last words before succumbing to the consciousness of Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.

U.S. Postal Service employee Norman Newman who had been wandering around Sleepy Hollow hopelessly lost the past couple of days came over when he heard the cry “Woe is me!”.

He handed the Headless Horseman a lettered envelope addressed to JOHNNY WO, SLEEPY HOLLOW.

The letter was postmarked UNCLE ERNIE’S PLACE, SOMEWHERE DOWN UNDER, AUSTRALIA.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 11th
2020.

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Reblog of The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Rises Again

September 30, 2018 at 9:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

A vampire novel chapter I wrote a year ago today.

Dracul Van Helsing

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was visiting the village of Sleepy Hollow near Tarrytown in northern New York state.

She was searching for the grave of a former lover of hers- a Hessian military officer who fought for the Hanoverian king George III during the American Revolutionary War and who got his head shot off by a stray cannonball much to his dismay.

The officer’s name was Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden.

Allatallahbel found the grave of the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden in the forest a few miles out of town from the village of Sleepy Hollow.

A large gravestone and marker for the grave had been paid for by the government of Germany back in 1933 shortly after a man named Adolf Hitler had been appointed Chancellor of Germany.

The reason for building a gravestone marker for the long dead headless Hessian officer were known only to Allatallahbel and…

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The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Rises Again

September 30, 2017 at 3:15 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was visiting the village of Sleepy Hollow near Tarrytown in northern New York state.

She was searching for the grave of a former lover of hers- a Hessian military officer who fought for the Hanoverian king George III during the American Revolutionary War and who got his head shot off by a stray cannonball much to his dismay.

The officer’s name was Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden.

Allatallahbel found the grave of the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden in the forest a few miles out of town from the village of Sleepy Hollow.

A large gravestone and marker for the grave had been paid for by the government of Germany back in 1933 shortly after a man named Adolf Hitler had been appointed Chancellor of Germany.

The reason for building a gravestone marker for the long dead headless Hessian officer were known only to Allatallahbel and Adolf.

After standing beside the gravestone marker and reflecting for a while, Allatallahbel then stood back and chanted a spell that was given her by the ancient Egyptian god Thoth.

Thoth had recently returned to this particular spatial/temporal dimension.

On the day of the full lunar eclipse across the U.S.- August 21st 2017- in fact.

After chanting the spell, she waited.

The headless Hessian officer then arose from the grave along with his horse (for he had been buried with his horse).

Allatallahbel then gave the Headless Horseman his instructions.

The Horseman saluted (even though he had no head to salute on) and rode off.

He stopped off in front of a store in Tarrytown and broke the store’s front window and helped himself to a carved Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin which he immediately put on top of his shoulders.

He then rode all the way to downtown Manhattan.

Many New York City policemen tried to stop the Headless Horseman but he beheaded them with his regimental sword.

The policemen’s beheadings were met with cheers by supporters of the Black Lives Matter movement.

The Headless Horseman passed a television set in a department store window where Pope Francis was doing a stand-up comedy routine in which he claimed the apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia was a Thomist document.

The Headless Horseman could be heard cackling through his carved Jack O’ Lantern teeth.

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden then rode down to the New York City docks where he and his horse boarded a ship bound for Europe.

He hoped the ship would arrive in Europe before Halloween.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 30th
2017.

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Renfield and Recep: A Tale of Two Assholes

November 1, 2015 at 9:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and Recep: A Tale of Two Assholes

To Renfield R. Renfield, Sherrielock Holmes would always be THE woman, Renfield thought to himself as he rubbed his buttocks.

He had spent Halloween in Sleepy Hollow, U.S.A.

On the plane ride back home to London, he had sung the Sir Elton John song I’m Still Standing.

And had literally done just what the title says on the entire flight home.

In the living room, Amadeus was watching the news on television.

U.S. Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter was answering questions from members of the media on the TV screen.

“Mr. Secretary,” said one reporter, “given recent happenings in both Iraq and Syria, is the President breaking his promise about not having boots on the ground in those countries?.”

“The President is not breaking his promise,” Carter reiterated, “the Army has a huge appropriations order for ballet slippers under Presidential directive.”

. . .

The MI-6 Operative called Diablos Nocturna was writing an analysis for himself on the results of today’s Parliamentary elections in Turkey.

He wrote, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan took another step closer to creating a new Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan.

His so-called Justice and Development Party (AKP) won a majority of seats in today’s Turkish parliamentary elections.

Blowing away his opponents in two separate bombings since last June’s election and blaming it on ISIS seems to have helped him considerably.

He doesn’t have enough seats in Parliament to enact changes to the Turkish Constitution yet but no doubt a few more well-placed and well-timed bombings will help him overcome those obstacles as well.”

-Diablos Nocturna

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 1st
2015.

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Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem

October 31, 2015 at 5:41 pm (Humour, Mystery, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem

For Renfield, it was not such a bitter pill to swallow,
to be at this time of year visiting the town of Sleepy Hollow,
for he could have been with the band Smashing Pumpkins
and eaten horse men’s heads with his chicken dumplings.
For Renfield was a cool cat though shapeshifting hamster he be
and was always human when he took a pee
or visited the tea rooms for afternoon tea.

For the time of year was Halloween
when ghosts and goblins walk to be seen
and wouldn’t be caught dead in outfits too green.
Leave that to the leprechauns
and those who eat green cheese with their prawns.

Amadeus was picking magic mushrooms off the lawn
while 3-headed guard dog Cerberus did watch and yawn,
Angry Hades or Pluto shouted,
Now, Brussels sprouts have sprouted
And ferryman Charon just sat and pouted.

And so on this night in Sleepy Hollow,
It was Renfield’s 10th can he did swallow,
Ah, said he, Sherrielock’s beer is so divine,
these mushroom ingredients taste so fine,
And I can act as if I’ve lost my mind.

Sherrielock Holmes approached wearing black mask and carrying a black whip,
She also wore black lipstick on her lip,
And had one stern black gloved hand upon her hip,
She wore black leather skirt and black fishnet nylons,
With her stilettos, she kicked over construction pylons.

Along came Headless Horesman riding with pumpkin head,
Sherrie whipped him off his horse and he fell to ground quite dead.
Ichabod Crane said, “The world has gone topsy turvy,”
as he looked at Sherrielock’s corseted top so curvy.

Ichabod got to Hell out of there
as Renfield dropped his underwear
and Sherrielock whipped his bottom so pink
that his lower cheeks turned red like lines on a hockey rink.

I think I got Renfield’s porno pay-per-view channel by mistake,
said Amadeus as he ate mushrooms that turned him into a flake
He used an autumn leaf for a remote control to change the channel
when he suddenly got beamed by a wooden panel
for a witch on a broomstick collided with a window
as otters in a nearby stream chased after a minnow.

For it was Halloween in Sleepy Hollow
where chaos ruled the land as statue succumbs to winged swallow.
So beware of magic mushrooms on this Halloween night
for your bottom the next morning will look quite the sight.

-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Friday October 30th
2015.

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Rhyming Haiku About Ichabod Crane

October 17, 2015 at 7:10 pm (Folklore, Horror, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Rhyming Haiku About Ichabod Crane From The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Poor Ichabod Crane
mistook pumpkin for a head
and so went insane

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Sleepy Hollow

August 2, 2014 at 4:13 pm (Entertainment, Poetry) (, )

Sleepy Hollow

Hollow people
stand beside hollow trees
asleep to life
asleep to love
Sleepy Hollow indeed.

-A poem written
by Christopher
Saturday August 2nd
2014.

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Haiku About Headless Horseman

August 25, 2013 at 3:53 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Haiku About The Headless Horseman

Horseman was riding
lost his head in pumpkin patch
mind now sleep hollow

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