The Attack of Slek
Pan Goatee was thinking of liking a particular blog post.
But a really repulsively ugly woman had liked that blog post and Pan didn’t want his good looking satyr face to show up alongside such a repulsive uglo.
Then he went to another blog post.
Lo and behold! the same repulsive looking uglo had liked that post as well.
Pan Goatee put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and threw it out the window to locate and track down the repulsive looking uglo wherever the uglo happened to reside on the globe and then behead the ugly looking bitch and then cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x etc. etc. pieces.
This Pan Goatee’s astral laser machete managed to do.
. . .
Meanwhile a provincial election was going on in Alberta and Slek the demon was eating ballots 🗳️.
Slek the demon prepares to eat election ballots 🗳️ in tonight’s Alberta provincial election.
The question of course was which side was he working for?
-Written Monday May 29th 2023.
Pan Goatee Beheads Yet Another Repulsive Fat Ugly Blimp While Demon Slek Emerges From Radioactive Swamp
The demon Slek like Pan Goatee, the ghost of John F. Kennedy, the little green frog Nimrod and the demon Asmodeus prefers beautiful women to uglos
World famous gnetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had gone for a walk after the weekend of the first major snowfall in Calgary of the autumn of 2022.
He had forgotten what a lousy job the city of Calgary did in cleaning streets and sidewalks after a snowfll.
He made a mental note to himself that he should put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and send it out to behead and dismember Calgary’s snow removal bureaucrats when he got home.
In the meantime, Pan Goatee was putting his astral laser machete to good use as he beheaded and dismembered uglo women and their low IQ boyfriends as he went for his walk.
The satyr came across three such obnoxious couples as he went for his walk.
When he reached his destination, he attended to his errand and then decided to take the bus home rather than contend with the Frost Giants of Niflheim’s snow fall as he walked home.
When Pan boarded the bus, lo and behold, there was an extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp standing right at the very front of the bus across from the driver.
Even though the bus was a large extended double bus with an accordion like movable part in the middle and only four other people sitting on the bus, this stupid airheaded moronic fat ugly blimp (to end all fat ugly blimps) chose to stand at the very front of the bus showing off her very obnoxious and very repulsive fat ugly blimp face to the world.
“You’re quite the fat ugly moron aren’t you?” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp, “Standing at the very front of the bus going through a neighbourhood in which the entire city knows that Pan Goatee lives. Standing there at the very front of the bus with your repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp face and saying to the world, “Look at me with my repulsive and obnoxious fat and ugly and blimpish face for all the world to see and barf accordingly. I dare you to behead me.” Well I am beheading you and now I’m about to cut you up into…”
The satyr then cut up the repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp bitch into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x etc. etc. x 999 trillion…
Krampus then arrived with a very big bag to pick up the remains of the repulsively ugly and super moronic fat ugly blimp and carry the bitch’s remains down to Tartarus where she’d spend all of eternity roasting away on a very large rotating barbeque spit that had been used by Polyphemus the cyclops to roast giant oxen on the island of Thrinacia.
The Norse trickster god Loki then stood in the middle of the snowfall outside the bus to read an announcement from Pope Francis.
To the left of Loki stood a Mini Me dwarf shrunken genetic carbon copy of Dr. Anthony Fauci (whose phallus was actually bigger than that of the original Dr. Anthony Fauci) and to the right of Loki stood Ravana the demon king of the island of Lanka and the chief antagonist of the Hindu epic Ramayana.
Loki read the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s blathering sodomite drivel, “I wish to say that the philosopher Saint Thomas Aquinas was wrong when he said that God was the Good, the True and the Beautiful. Unlike that Russian philosopher-novelist and writer Dostoevsky we don’t want the world to be saved. We want earth mother goddess Pachamama to be saved but not the world. I urge all Catholics to stop reading Thomas Aquinas immediately. After all I got an F in Thomistic logic back in the seminary. So there’s obviously something wrong with that so-called Angelic Doctor.”
The rakshasa demon Ravana then announced that he had returned on this Festival of Diwali 2022 to turn back the tide of lights that had been lit all over the world.
. . .
Menwhile in the Governor’s office in Sacramento California, that state’s Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist governor Gavin Newsom was meeting with the demons Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles to plan his 2024 U.S. Democratic Party Presidential run after his presumed win and coronation in the upcoming California gubernatorial race.
. . .
Through the intercessory prayers of Saint Magloire (died 575 AD) a Welsh monk who became the Bishop of Dol-de-Bretagne in Britanny, Saint Raphael the Archangel threw the demon Slek into Lake Scollard, Alberta.
Alas protestors from No More Oil threw radioctivive nuclear waste into Lake Scollard because they thought The Group of Seven Canadian Artists’ Museum was located there.
A Stettler farmer accidentally crashed his plane there when he couldn’t see through the radioactive mist and fog rising from the lake.
Slek took possession of the dead farmer’s body and rose from the lake.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 24th
2022.
Slek The Demon
Slek the demon: Seen in the middle of war-torn Ukraine
Slek was a particularly insidious and ferocious demon.
He was the go-to for Phoenix Diabolicus who was Lucifer the Devil’s 2nd in Command.
Some years ago Slek the demon had aided America’s most pre-eminently evil mad scientists Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Francis Collins in developing genetically created repulsively ugly women and then unleashing them on the City of Calgary.
Today the results of that horrible experiment could be seen as Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was going throughout the streets and public transit systems of downtown Calgary beheading and dismembering loads of repulsive uglos (thin ugly stoats, medium sized ugly gargoyles and fat ugly blimps) in an effort to rid the poor city of this hideously uglo abomination of desolation.
The ghosts of 19th Century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche and 19th Century Anglo-Irish writer Oscar Wilde were sitting atop the needle of the Calgary Tower (whose original name was the Husky Tower) playing a ghostly game of Scrabble (using English, German and Latin words) and watching the proceedings below.
“Goodness gracious,” Wilde wiped his ghostly brow with his spectral handkerchief, “I think I once had a dream about encountering an uglo Calgarian woman when I was a young mortal. I think it was that dream that led me to have an affair with Lord Alfred Douglas the son of John Douglas the 9th Marquess of Queensbury who established the Queensbury Rules of Boxing that form the basis of modern boxing.”
“You know,” Nietzsche threw a chicken wish bone for the Greek gods Apollo and Dionysus to wrestle over, “It looks like this might take a herculean effort to rid this city of all the vast amounts of uglo women in it. I’m gping to put in a request to Hades the god of the Underworld that he release Hercules from the realm of the Underworld and send him up here to start bumping off all these uglo women with his mighty club.”
The philosopher got on his Samsung Galaxy phone and called Hades’ number.
Within minutes, the divine hero Hercules found himself standing on the sidewalks of downtown Calgary.
The mighty giant was so shocked by the grotesqueness of the uglo women that he saw that he began barfing all over the place.
Zeus had Hercules sent back to the Underworld where the divine hero continued to barf all over the place.
Hercules’ vomit caused two of the rivers of the Underworld- the river Styx and the river Acheron to rise and rise until they rose from the Underworld and began reaching the surface of the Earth itself.
There they formed a confluence of blood in Ukraine.
And from the midst of that confluence of blood rose Slek the demon.
-A vampire novel chapter
written Monday March 14th
2022
Dracul Van Helsing 
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