Justin Trudeau Encounters A Mesoamerican Deity In His Pot Smoking Antique Mirror

March 12, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Justin Trudeau Encounters A Mesoamerican Deity In His Pot Smoking Antique Mirror

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had cancelled a First Ministers’ emergency meeting with provincial premiers, territorial leaders and indigenous leaders to discuss the Coronavirus because he himself may have come down with the Coronavirus.

His wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau had returned from a speaking engagement in London, England last night and had not been feeling well.

She self isolated while awaiting results from a test for Coronavirus.

Justin decided it might be a good example to self-isolate as well.

So he had spent the day re-enacting the Battle of Trafalgar with an armada of rubber ducks in his bathtub.

His wife Sophie had phoned him from the room next door an hour ago and said she had tested positive for the Coronavirus.

“Shit,” Justin thought to himself.

Now he might have to self-isolate a lot longer than he intended.

He walked out to the greenhouse to visit his marijuana inhaling and exhaling antique mirror named Magical Mystery Tour.

He was surprised to see the mirror was reflecting both himself and the greenhouse plants around the mirror instead of the mysterious rare and used book store at the corner of a foreboding dark alley and desolate fog filled street in London, England the way it usually did.

Since he could see his own reflection in the mirror tonight, he decided to put on some blackface since he always felt better wearing blackface for some reason.

A psychiatrist once told him that this feeling was probably due to “penis envy”.

Justin thought that was strange since he thought it was only some women who were prone to penis envy.

The Canadian Prime Minister noticed that the gardener had left the television on just above the coconut tree in the greenhouse.

It showed an old Tarzan movie whereby Tarzan was tied to a tree and an African tribal chief was holding up a 9 inch ruler and pointing at Tarzan and shaking his head and laughing.

“I wonder what message the universe will try to tell me tonight,” Justin thought as he reached for his box of black shoe polish that was hidden underneath the hyacinth plant.

Justin went over and looked at himself in the mirror and started putting the black shoe polish all over his face.

“I now look like Harry Belafonte,” the former drama teacher and amateur thespian grinned at himself in the mirror.

Soon his reflection vanished into the blackness of night emerging from the mirror.

An image of what looked to be a sinister Mesoamerican deity appeared in the mirror as huge whiffs of marijuana smoke came out of the wooden sides of the mirror.

The head of the deity was a sinister looking bluish green skull with a black stripe and a yellow stripe painted across his face.

His right foot was an obsidian mirror.

Although occasionally his right foot would metamorphose into a snake.

When this happened, the obsidian mirror would show up on the deity’s chest instead and sometimes smoke would emanate from the mirror.

Justin entered the antique late Victorian/early Edwardian mirror named Magical Mystery Tour and leaned his painted blackface down to inhale the pot smoke emanating from the obsidian mirror on the deity’s chest.

In the background behind the Mesoamerican deity, the Great Bear constellation shone brightly in the night sky.

In the Great Bear constellation directly behind the deity danced a spotted skin jaguar.

The jaguar sang his own paraphrased version of an old Harry Belafonte song,

“Night-o, night-o, night time come and you oughta go home…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 12th
2020.

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Justin Discovers Kermit’s Law: It Isn’t Easy Being Green

November 18, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Justin Discovers Kermit’s Law: It Isn’t Easy Being Green

Sophie Gregoire Trudeau (wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau) was in their family mansion in Ottawa when she suddenly noticed a light on in the greenhouse outside.

She hadn’t seen a light on in the greenhouse since the days her husband’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever inhabited the place.

Then the greenhouse light was on all the time whenever her husband was home.

Justin would go and inhale Strawberry Fields Forever’s exhaled pot smoke so he could truthfully tell the media that he didn’t personally smoke marijuana.

However that changed nearly a year ago when Chinese Communist agents from Beijing cactusnapped Strawberry Fields Forever from the greenhouse in retaliation for Canada’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Then over the summer, Strawberry Fields Forever finally ended up being murdered by his Chinese Communist captors since Meng Wanzhou still hadn’t been released from Canada.

Sophie was actually pleased when Strawberry Fields Forever had been cactusnapped because her husband stopped blabbing about getting advice from Gali-Gula the Caligula’s spirit possessed ET Gray from the planet Nibiru- an entity that her husband always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.

People might start thinking he was a lunatic if he engaged in such talk.

Sadly for her, Justin had recently decided to get Set Enterprises’ famous research scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher of London to genetically create a new pot smoking desert cactus plant for him.

With this in mind, Justin had sent Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman the pot smoking sheriff of Calypso’s Bosom (an Aquarian Age hippy commune on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula- a sort of New Age equivalent of Scotland’s mythical mystical Brigadoon- with the cosmically inclined “far out” village emerging from its pot smoke filled mists once every 7 years) down to the Arizona desert to pick up a new cactus plant for Dr. Cadbury Rocher to clone.

Apparently Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman had cut off a slice of cactus from a cactus plant that the Hopi tribe of Arizona regarded as sacred.

The slice of cactus had been flown by Government of Canada jet from Arizona to London this past weekend.

It apparently took Dr. Cadbury Rocher approximately 4 to 6 weeks to genetically create a new pot smoking desert cactus plant.

Dr. Rocher did promise Justin however that he should have the new pot smoking desert cactus plant ready by Christmas.

It would definitely give the lines of that Christmas carol “Angels we have heard on high” a whole new meaning Sophie thought to herself when her husband Justin had told her the “good news”.

So if the pot smoking cactus plant wouldn’t be ready until Christmas, what were the lights doing on in the greenhouse? Sophie wondered to herself.

She went out to investigate.

She looked through the greenhouse window where she got the shock of her life.

She stormed through the greenhouse door.

“Justin, what the Hell do you think you’re doing?” Sophie called out angrily.

Justin was wearing a green turban on his head and had his face painted green with green face makeup.

He was inhaling marijuana smoke from a tiny desert cactus plant that was wearing a mini-skirt and giggling like a teen-aged school girl.

“Oh hi, dear,” the green-faced Justin Trudeau grinned, “this is Material Girl from Australia. She’s one of two original plant clippings off Strawberry Fields Forever that I had given to the noted Australian poet David Redpath. She and her twin brother Mellow Yellow.”

“And who is that mysterious looking gentleman?” Sophie pointed in the direction of a man wearing the robes of a Ming Emperor.

“That’s Mr. Inn Lu,” Justin explained, “He’s the one who flew Material Girl from Australia to Ottawa on his private jet at my request. I need to talk to Gali-Gula right away. And can’t wait until Christmas. So Inn Lu who’s a certified Dragon Master (don’t ask me what that is because I don’t know) and runs a recreational therapy spa in Sydney was kind enough to fly her here.”

“How do you know he runs a recreational therapy spa in Sydney?” Sophie asked her husband.

“Because that’s what it says on his business card,” Justin answered.

“Can I see your business card?” Sophie asked Inn Lu.

Inn Lu reached under his Green Dragon emblazoned black cap on top of his head and pulled out a business card.

Sophie looked at Inn Lu’s business card.

She then turned towards her husband and shrieked, “You idiot! He runs an opium den.”

“Well, smoking opium is a form of recreational therapy,” Justin smiled sheepishly.

“Don’t let Opposition Leader Andrew Scheer hear you say that,” Sophie shook her head in exasperation.

“Baa-baa-black sheep, have you any wool?” Material Girl started singing.

“Speaking of black sheep,” Sophie glared angrily at Justin, “What’s with the green turban and the green face? You told the media and the Canadian voters you’d never wear black face or brown face ever again.”

“And I’ve kept my promise,” Justin protested, “I never promised not to wear green face.”

“I never promised you a rose garden,” Material Girl sang, “along with the sunshine. There’s got to be a little rain sometimes.”

“Why are you wearing green face anyways?” Sophie asked.

“At Material Girl’s request,” Justin grinned, “She said she wouldn’t exhale pot smoke in my face unless I did so.” 

The mysterious Mr. Inn Lu pulled a very large hourglass of sand out from under his robes and looked at the remaining small grains of sand that were left at the top about to filter through to the bottom of the hour glass, “Okay. Time to go, Material Girl. Your babysitter Uncle Ernie told me that the 48 hour All You Can Eat coupon he bought your owner Mr. David Redpath for the Road Kill Cafe (with food served fresh hourly) in the Australian Outback will be expiring soon. If he comes home and finds you missing again, Uncle Ernie will be in big trouble again. Time to head home.”

“Awww, shoot!” Material Girl pouted.

Despite her pouting, Inn Lu picked up Material Girl with his gloved hands and headed out to his private jet.

“Well, I guess no need now to ask you about the airplane parked in the driveway,” Sophie remarked to her green faced husband.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 18th 
2019.

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