The Cosmic Origins of P.H. Lovecat

February 4, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Music, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

His name was Peter Hieronymous Felinedamour.

P. H. Felinedamour for short.

He was an artist.

An artist inspired by the writings of H.P. Lovecraft.

Many Lovecraftian entities showed up in his paintings.

And in the art show that Dashwood Forrest (the Oscar Wilde admiring owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London) would be opening tonight in his gallery, the last painting that Peter Hieronymous Felinedamour ever painted – from December 21st 2012 (the same night that he disappeared) – would be on pre-eminent display in the middle of the gallery for this art show.

Dashwood Forrest was currently showing the painting to British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his date for this evening Lepardia Marango the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London.

Renfield was bringing Lepardia to the gallery as a way of saying thanks to the cultural attache for saving the Transhumanist MP’s life this past weekend.

Lepardia had stopped an assasination attempt on Renfield by wrestling to the ground the Russian vampiress and FSB operative Svetlana Kireeva.

The incident occurred in the final match of a darts tournament being held at the Clytemnestra’s Revenge and Agamemnon’s Bathtub Pub and Beef House.

The wrestling match between mortal woman and immortal (unless staked through the heart) vampiress caused Renfield to lose the tournament by wrecking his final throw.

Svetlana had intended to assasinate Renfield by firing a poison dart at him with an Amazon tribesman’s blow gun.

Instead the dart hit the left foot of the American Jesuit priest Father Neville Barack Chamberlain (who was theological advisor to New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan advising His Eminence on how to take a firm stand on the most pressing doctrinal and moral issues of the day) causing a paralysis in the priest’s right testicle in an example of acupuncture and chi energy gone horribly wrong.

Lepardia and Renfield gazed at the P.H. Felinedamour painting entitled

Artemis, Cthulhu, Diana’s Sacred Deer and Hecate’s Familiar Black Cat With Clytemnestra Holding A Net and Agamemnon Screaming In The Nude In The Background.

“So that was the last painting he ever painted?” Renfield asked the London art gallery owner as he downed a reddish pink with shades of China blue shooter called Vincent Van Gogh’s Missing Ear.

Ariana Grande walked by in a slit skirted evening dress that prominently displayed her new “Barbecue Grill Finger” (in Japanese lettering) tattoo.

The singer was eating Honey Dipped Chicken Fingers from McDonalds.

No doubt Bill Clinton and the Rev. Jesse Jackson would have loved to have been flies on the wall (or even better, flies on the floor) as the lovely Miss Grande walked by.

“That is correct,” Forrest bowed to Renfield as Renfield crushed and killed a pair of flies on the floor with his right shoe.

Forrest’s personal secretary arrived on the scene to inform the Oscar Wilde lookalike London art gallery owner that his living dead Irish manservant and valet Mulligan the Irish zombie had just accidentally spilled barbecued chicken wings hors d’oeuvres down the evening dress of British Prime Minister Theresa May.

“Excuse me,” Forrest whispered to Renfield and Lepardia as his face turned as pale as the portrait of Dorian Gray and he rushed in the direction of the catastrophe.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 4th
2019.


Ariana Grande: Showing off her “Barbecue Grill Finger” (in Japanese lettering) tattoo at the P.H. Lovecat (Felinedamour) Art Show.

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Lepardia Marango Plans To Save Renfield’s Life While Andrew Cuomo Sacrifices A Groundhog For Groundhog Day

February 2, 2019 at 11:52 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Lepardia Marango the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London in a Film Noir genre style photo shoot with the ghost of classic filmmaker Orson Welles

Lepardia Marango was officially the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London.

Unofficially she was a spy for the foreign branch of South Africa's intelligence service.

Today she was being a model for the ghost of Orson Welles who was doing a Film Noir genre style photo shoot using colour film photography.

Most of the great Film Noir movies of the 1940s and 1950s were shot in black and white although a few were shot in colour.

The 1982 film Blade Runner which could be seen as a Film Noir movie, classic 1940s style detective tale and futuristic sci-fi thriller combined in one was shot in colour.

As was the 1997 film L.A. Confidential (which was sort of a combination Film Noir genre style movie and classic early 1950s style crime police drama) shot in colour.

Now Welles' ghost was trying his spectral hand at shooting a Film Noir himself in colour.

Welles had recently been in Chicago caught in the polar vortex snow storm from Hell that had been caused by the Norse goddess called Hel.

But he got tired of being a spectator at tantric sex encounters where Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was busy making out with various vampiresses, goddesses and women mystics.

So Welles returned to his current earthly home in London, England (Welles had been granted dispensational leave from Purgatory by Hades and Persephone the rulers of the Underworld in order to be able to serve as a spirit advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield along with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill).

When the photo shoot was over, Lepardia Marango returned to her apartment.

While there, she received a text message from the South African cultural attache in Moscow (who was also a spy for the foreign branch of South Africa's intelligence service).

Apparently the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva was in London where she was planning to assasinate British MP Renfield R. Renfield at a darts tournament at the Clytemnestra's Revenge and Agamemnon's Bathtub Pub and Beef House in London.

The plot had been arranged by Russia's Vladimir Putin, Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Pakistan's Imran Khan (whom Renfield had threatened to blow his testicles off with a .44 Magnum unless Asia Bibi was allowed to leave Pakistan) and Svetlana had been selected to carry it out.

Lepardia entered the pub where she shouted "Stop!" causing Renfield to miss his shot and lose the tournament but saving his life.

. . .

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was in upstate New York where he would be sacrificing a live groundhog to show the world what a kind and compassionate person he was.

Joining him in the furry little weather prognosticator's sacrifice was Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam who mercifully was wearing a paper bag over his head so no one would recognize him now that his racist Ku Klux Klan college photo from 1984 had gone viral.

The groundhog was sacrificed in front of a statue of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate: To whose statue the poor little groundhog was sacrificed

After the sacrifice, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo received a text message from Pope Francis where the pontiff bestowed on the leading Democratic Party politician a special apostolic blessing.

Not far from the Bishop of Rome stood Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal who, along with the Vampiric Knights-Templar and the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, had taken over the Vatican back on October 13th 2017.

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal who had recently dyed her hair red in honour of the recent Super Blood Wolf Moon.

"Well," Allatallahbel laughed, "It doesn't look like Vitae (which was the name of the little groundhog in Sleepy Hollow in upstate New York- editor's note) will be around to enjoy either a late spring or an early spring."

. . .


The Austro-Croatian mystic Maria Orsic calls out to Dracul Van Helsing in her hotel room in the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago,
"Once more for new time's sake please, Mr. Van Helsing."

. . .

Meanwhile in Nairobi Kenya, the Kenyan vampire huntress Megan Shimbiro had been informed that the Nazi vampire Franz Kohler undead and very very very late of the Ahnenerbe Nazi SS Occult Bureau was up to some sort of nefarious activity in Kenya.


The Kenyan vampire huntress Megan Shimbiro on the lookout for the Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the Ahnenerbe Nazi SS Occult Bureau.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 2nd
2019.

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Lepardia Marango and Dracul Van Helsing On Saint David’s Day In Wales

March 1, 2018 at 10:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Lepardia Marango and Dracul Van Helsing On Saint David’s Day In Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London was visiting the Principality of Wales.

She decided to visit Saint David’s Day celebrations in Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 and report back to her government in Pretoria what she had discovered about the manner in which the Welsh celebrate the feast day of their national Patron Saint.

As she crossed the border from England’s Herefordshire County into Wales, it was then that the worst of the Siberian snow ❄️ storm freezing cold air system that the British were calling the Beast From The East decided to hit Wales with full force.

It was a good thing that the car had an excellent heating system as she was wearing a short skirt.

With the blowing snow, she decided that she probably would not definitely be able to make it as far as Cardiff the Welsh capital.

Driving down the highway, she came across the small village of Llanvihangel Crucorney (pronounced Clanvihangel Crew-corny) and decided to stay at the Skirrid Inn there since she could not drive further in the snow.

Fortunately they did have one room left.

She went to the dining room for supper where Welsh rarebit was the Saint David’s Night special.

Seated a few seats away from her was the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing who had also been visiting Wales to attend Saint David’s Day celebrations and had also got caught up in the Saint David’s Day snow storm.

Dracul caught a glimpse of Lepardia’s short skirt and her lovely black silk pantyhose clad legs.

He went over and spoke to her, “Aren’t you Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London?”.

“Yes, I am,” she smiled, “You’re Dracul Van Helsing aren’t you? We met at Renfield R. Renfield’s Parliamentary Christmas 🎄 Cocktail Party back in December.”

They had dinner together.

When both went to their respective rooms for the night, the cold stone of the inn could not keep out the cold from outside.

Both had got up at the same time to go downstairs for warm coffee or tea.

“Gee, maybe we should keep one another warm,” Dracul suggested.

“That might not be a bad idea,” Lepardia smiled.

They went back to Lepardia’s room and spent the rest of the night making love.

On the radio which was playing softly in the background, BBC News was playing Vladimir Putin’s Russian 🇷🇺 State of the Union Address in which the Russian leader boasted that he was now in possession of a nuclear weapon that was invincible.

So for that matter did Dracul Van Helsing.

Lepardia Marango squealed with delight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 1st
2018.

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