Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

February 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

South Korean vampire huntress and National Intelligence Service agent Hyung Grace Kwan (an ex-girlfriend of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing) was meeting with Kim Yo-jong (the half-sister of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un) in her hotel room at the request of South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Both women were dressed identically in white blouses, tight black skirts and black spiked stiletto high heeled shoes.

But despite their similar attire, neither woman seemed embarrassed by wearing a similar wardrobe.

When they had finished discussing what they had to discuss, Hyung Grace Kwan smiled over her cup ☕️ of tea and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” Kim Yo-jong seemed intrigued.

Hyung walked to the door.

She opened it and in walked one of Hyung’s ancestresses the princess Kwan Yin who became an immortal and was in fact worshipped as the Buddhist mother goddess of compassion and mercy by various sects of Buddhists throughout Asia. She wore a beautiful pink coloured gown.

“Kwan Yin?” The officially atheist Kim Yo-jong looked surprised as she recognized the Buddhist mother goddess from oil paintings she had seen of her as a child, “You actually exist?”.

“Yes, my child, I do,” Kwan Yin smiled in motherly fashion.

Meanwhile in the hotel lobby, the DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was waiting to go up to the hotel room to assassinate Kim Yo-jong.

He had been ordered to do so by a higher-up in the American NSA.

He could have astral projected into her hotel room but there was some unknown supernatural power present in the hotel that was preventing him from doing so.

So he would have to wait for an opportune moment to break into the hotel room and then bump off the half-sister of Kim Jong-un.

As he waited in the hotel lobby, a contingent of North Korean 🇰🇵 female cheerleaders paraded through the lobby in their sharply attired red skirts and red spiked stiletto high heeled shoes 👠.

“How nice to see nothing but beautiful women,” Pan Goatee thought to himself, “Quite a change from North America particularly the city of Calgary where you seem to see nothing but fat ugly blimps particularly among females of that racial group that Neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klansmen consider the master race.”

When the cheerleaders were escorted and locked into their particular hotel rooms by members of a North Korean security detail, Pan Goatee decided to go upstairs and break down the door to Kim Yo-jong’s room and assassinate her.

As he walked up the stairs in his Bermuda shorts showing off his hairy goat’s legs, unbeknownst to the satyr, he was being followed by a wolf pure white in colour.

The pure white wolf also had a unique colour of eyes- Mediterranean blue.

Pan Goatee used his mind’s psychic powers to direct a flying mallet to knock out all the members of the North Korean security detail in the hallway.

Coincidentally in the hotel’s elevators at the time, the elevator music being played was the musical melody to that old Beatles song Maxwell’s Silver Hammer 🔨.

Pan Goatee kicked down the door 🚪 of Kim Yo-jong’s hotel room startling the three women inside the room.

Pan Goatee was startled himself.

He had raised his machete to cut off the head of the woman wearing the North Korean 🇰🇵 flag lapel pin when he noticed she wasn’t ugly.

His superiors at DARPA had told Pan Goatee that Kim Yo-jong was ugly in hopes that would make it easier for him to kill the North Korean despot’s sister.

“Hey, you’re not ugly,” Pan Goatee stood there frozen.

At that moment, the white wolf with blue eyes leapt into the room and bit Pan Goatee on the arm.

“Ouch, that hurts!” Pan Goatee shouted for the satyr was not used to receiving a mortal wound of any sort.

The white wolf with blue eyes then looked at the three women, turned around and left the room.

“Who was that white wolf?” Kim Yo-jong asked as one of the North Korean Women’s Orchestras played Rossini’s William Tell Overture in the hotel’s main ballroom.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 10th
2018.

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Cthulhu On The South China Sea

April 11, 2017 at 4:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“Mr. President,” Trump’s aide was forced to interrupt him as he was writing yet another Twitter tweet, “ships are being attacked in the South China Sea.”

“Whose ships?” Trump looked up, “our ships? Who’s doing the attacking? The Chinese?”.

“All types of countries’ ships are being attacked in the South China Sea including China’s,” the aide replied, “and the attack is being carried out by a strange sea creature who stands hundreds of meters tall, has an octopus head for a head, the wings of a dragon on its back and has giant humanoid arms and legs with its hands and feet webbed.”

“Sounds like the preview trailer I saw for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film with Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow,” Trump reflected.

“Nevertheless it’s real, Mr. President,” the aide said grimly, “The NSA believe that it’s the creature Cthulhu originally believed to have been a fictional character first mentioned in the works of an early 20th Century horror story writer called H.P. Lovecraft.”

Trump picked up the phone and dialed a number, “Hello, Ivanka? Get thee to a library and read up everything you can find about a fictional monster called Cthulhu mentioned in the works of a horror writer called H.P. Lovecraft.”

. . .

The Royal Australian Navy ship The H.M.S. Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee was the only one that survived the attack by the creature Cthulhu of all the ships attacked in the South China Sea that fateful day of April 11th 2017.

First Mate Gil Mebson asked Captain Haul Pogan how their ship The Dowdee managed to survive.

“Well when we left Mumbai,” Captain Pogan took off his alligator boot to scratch his foot, “that psychic I had gone to see in Mumbai Tantric Tanya advised me to cover the ship in garlic. When I asked why, she said, I’d know the reason when we sailed back to Australia. This must be the reason.”

“So this Cthulhu creature is allergic to garlic like vampires and certain demons are,” Gil Mebson said as he ate his butter chicken.

“Apparently,” Captain Pogan opened a can of beer, “and it’s a good thing too. Otherwise I might never have heard the song Waltzing Matilda sung ever again.”

“That ship there doesn’t seem to have been attacked either,” Gil Mebson pointed to a ship that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

“It appears to be a North Korean ship judging from the flag,” Captain Pogan peered through his binoculars, “and it’s got a huge television screen atop the mass broadcasting a speech from North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.”

“I wonder what he’s saying,” Gil Mebson drank some rum.

“Well, if my Korean serves me correctly,” Captain Pogan replied, “Korean which I learned from making love with beautiful female members of the Korean Dragon Sisterhood Warrioress Society back in my days in Seoul, Kim Jong-un is reciting passages from the Necronomicon in Korean. The Necronomicon was originally written in Arabic by Abdul Alhadrez in Damascus in 730 AD. I myself read the Latin edition of The Necronomicon as a young Jesuit seminarian until I decided I couldn’t accept celibacy after attending a Sean Connery James Bond Film Festival held in Melbourne. I believe the passages Kim Jong-un is reciting are those passages that call the Cthulhu to rise from his home at the bottom of the sea.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was surprised to receive a phone call from South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

He hadn’t talked to Hyung ever since she broke up with his friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Hyung had caught Dracul in bed in a menage a trois with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and the Egyptian vampiress Isis back on December 21st 2012 the day the world was supposed to end.

“Hyung, what’s up?” Whitstable asked.

“It’s Kim Jong-un,” Hyung replied, “last Christmas, he managed to get his hands on an ancient Korean copy of the book The Necronomicon. He’s now using that book to raise deadly occultic supernatural creatures from their resting places in the Underworld and at the bottom of the sea.”

“Wow,” said Whitstable, “too bad western intelligence hadn’t found about this earlier.”

Whitstable had on his desk a detailed report about today’s Cthulhu attacks in the South China Sea.

“Kim Jong-nam his half-brother found out about it and was going to reveal all after a gambling trip to Macau,” Hyung said, “but he got that fatal VX nerve agent towel in the face at Kuala Lumpur International Airport.”

“And now the young Stalinist brat Kim Jong-un has raised Cthulhu to attack shipping in the South China Sea by broadcasting Necronomicon pasages via satellite transmission to large screen TVs on North Korean ships,” Whitstable seethed.

“Who knows what other monsters he’s now going to raise?” Hyung looked over at her Samsung large screen TV.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 11th
2017.

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Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

September 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

The vampire novel chapter I wrote back on December 21st 2012 when something of cosmic significance was supposed to happen on Earth on that date according to Mayan, Aztec and Hopi Indian prophecies.

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2012/12/dec-21st-2012-tempest-or-much-ado-about.html?m=1

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