The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

May 14, 2021 at 10:18 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a rare Friday night podcast.

Renfield concluded his podcast by saying, “Wiith the so-called Great Reset off to a disastrous start, the Biden Administration, leading globalists and the Vatican held a conference today at the Vatican called “Dreaming of A Better Restart.” Well dreaming is about all they’ve got. And their dream is the stuff of nightmares for humanity.”

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was sharing a massive quantity of whiskey, gin, beer and vodka with Extremely Curious George the genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

They were sitting at a Set Enterprises computer.

“Well, George, hic! hic!,” Yaldabaoth said to the plated back dinosaur with the spiked tail whose species last existed in the Jurassic period of the Mesozoic era, “In my current state of inebriation, I seem to have stumbled upon some website called Top Secret Contingency Plans For The Better Restart of Our Currently Failed Great Reset.”

Extremely Curious George hiccoughed in reply.

“An excellent idea,” Yaldabaoth hiccoughed in agreement, “I think I shall change what it says here, insert my own ideas and send them off to every Better Restart of The Great Reset operative on the planet.”

Extremely Curious George smiled and wagged his tail.

. . .

Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh isn’t expecting much from the Better Restart of The Great Reset.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 14th
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

Charlotte In The Dance Studio

May 12, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Charlotte in the dance studio

Vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing entered the room known as the dance studio in the English country manor and estate he had been staying in for the past week.

The country squire and his wife who owned the estate were big fans of Latin and Ballroom Dancing.

And therefore owned their own dance studio.

“Hello, Miss Charlotte,” Van Helsing said to the woman as he entered the dance studio.

“Hello, Mr. Van Helsing,” Charlotte smiled.

“Is the ghost of the Emperor Napoleon around?” Van Helsing asked.

“He’s apparently down in London to see Trafalgar Square,” Charlotte answered.

“Well, that should prove interesting,” Van Helsing commented.

“And Squire Hawkins and his wife are visiting relatives,” Charlotte noted.

“So we’re alone on the Estate then?” Van Helsing sat down on a chair.

“Andrea Angelicus the Phoenix woman is not around?” Charlotte inquired.

“No, she’s darting back and forth across the globe,” Van Helsing explained, “And using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern projector for time travel.”

“Time travel?” Charlotte was curious.

“Yes, by time traveling, she gave lasting fame to an artist who died young by the name of Henri Gris,” Van Helsing explained, “By posing for his most famous portrait painting entitled The Woman of Midnight. The painting has now been acquired by the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London and will soon be available for public viewing.”

“So, seeing as how we have the house to ourselves, what shall we do, Van Helsing?” Charlotte asked.

“Dance,” Van Helsing smiled as he put on an old LP record of Johann Strauss’ The Blue Danube.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague was walking the streets of London with Extremely Curious George the stegosaurus who was genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

“Well, George,” Dr. Montague commented, “We seem to be getting a lot of stares from passers-by today. It must be this Armani suit I’m wearing that was a gift to me from Jerry Seinfeld. And no doubt that spiffy and colourful looking bow tie you’re wearing is drawing a lot of attention as well.”

They walked by 10 Downing Street where British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was standing at a podium in front of the door to the residence shooting his mouth off about something or other.

Extremely Curious George stood next to Johnson briefly and opened his mouth in a big wide yawn as the Prime Minister was talking.

The photo that was taken of the moment went viral on social media.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 12th
2021.

Permalink 4 Comments

Andrea Angelicus and The Mega-Investor

May 11, 2021 at 10:24 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Andrea Angelicus

Andrea Angelicus (the woman they call the Phoenix Woman) was flying on a luxury private jet owned by one of the world’s wealthiest mega-investors.

“An excellent cocktail,” Andrea said as she sipped it.

“I call it the Scarlet Pimpernel,” said the mega-investor.

“Scarlet Pimpernel?” Andrea smiled at him, “You strike me as being more like Citizen Chauvelin rather than the Scarlet Pimpernel.”

“Are you saying that I’m a villain?” The mega-investor inquired.

“You said it,” Andrea put her drink down on the table, “I didn’t.”

The mega-investor was one of the big wigs behind the annual Davos Summit and a promoter of the Great Reset.

He also financed various Neo-Trotskyite revolutions around the globe.

He would bring about that global Soviet Union that Trotsky failed to produce because Trotsky was pushed out by Josef Stalin in becoming the master of the Russian based Soviet Union.

“I’m awaiting a phone call,” the mega-investor finished his own Scarlet Pimpernel, “An acquaintance of mine is stealing information that is necessary for my next chess move.”

Andrea returned to their own chess game aboard the plane.

As the mega-investor moved his white bishop, Andrea moved her black queen and took his king.

“Checkmate,” she smiled.

The mega-investor’s phone rang.

“What?” The mega-investor was shocked, “He’s dead?”.

The mega-investor put his phone back in his pocket.

Looking at Andrea, the mega-investor said, “My acquaintance was killed trying to steal that information I needed.”

“How disappointing,” Andrea finshed her Scarlet Pimpernel cocktail.

She then vanished.

. . .

A T-Rex ET was going through the files in the filing cabinets at Set Enterprises.

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set insisted on keeping paper files of everything just on the off chance the world’s computers might someday be hit by an EMP (electromagnetic pulse) and all computerized electronic records were lost.

As the T-Rex ET went through the files, Extremely Curious George (the stegosaurus genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) entered the room and noticed the evil looking creature.

Approaching stealthily, George used his spiked tail to strike the T-Rex ET in the area of his heart.

The T-Rex ET fell over dead.

And a mega-investor had lost one of his acquaintances.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 11th
2021.

Permalink 5 Comments

Saint George’s Day and Extremely Curious George

April 23, 2021 at 10:18 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Friday night podcast.

First he was covering history:

“It was on this day April 23rd:

-in 303 AD that Saint George died
-in 1014 that Brian Boru the High King of Ireland died after having just defeated the Vikings in battle at the Battle of Clontarf (it also happened to be Good Friday that year)
-in 1616 that William Shakespeare died (he had also been born on the same date back in 1564).”

. . .

Renfield then examined current news stories:

“Yesterday April 22nd was Earth Day and thus senile old fool Joe Biden held a Virtual Climate Summit via internet video conferencing to mark the occasion.
Among the many speakers at the summit were the UN’s Communist Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, billionaire and failed 2020 U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg, famed eugenicist and population control advocate Bill Gates, Communist China’s paramount leader and Wuhan Institute of Virology CCP Virus super super super superspreader Xi Jinping, and of course the most boring, most heretical and most apostate pontiff in recent memory Pope Francis.
The Pope concluded his message “in commemoration of Earth Day when this destruction of nature will hopefully end.”
The Pope (nor did any other speaker at the summit) did not mention the fact that the co-founder of Earth Day in 1970 Mr. Ira Samuel Einhorn later murdered and attempted to compost his girlfriend.”

. . .

Meanwhile Set Enterprises’ genetically created stegosaurus named Extremely Curious George managed to use this evening of Saint George’s Day to escape from Set Enterprises’ Laboratories.

Extremely Curious George had been cloned by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher using stegosaurus blood that was found in a perfectly preserved prehistoric mosquito found in amber.

Henry to Heloise: “All this talk of extinction of species and here’s a stegosaurus raiding our refrigerator.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 23rd
2021

Permalink 4 Comments

Michelangelo’s Morning Routine

March 18, 2021 at 10:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I had a really bad dozen years.”
-Adolf Hitler reflecting on his time as leader of Germany from 1933-1945 which oversaw the Holocaust, the invasion and takeover of several countries and World War II resulting in millions upon millions of deaths.

“All right, Herr Hitler, we’ll let you return to your rotating barbeque spit down in the flames of Tartarus,” Renfield finished his radio interview, “I imagine you must use the same speechwriter as members of the Atlanta Georgia Police Department.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream as his waterproof alarm clock (with the face of Groucho Marx on it) went off.

Coincidentally Renfield was doing a newscast on BBC World Service Radio as the lobster stretched his claws and got out of bed.

“Meanwhile in other news,” Renfield’s voice could be heard saying, “a giant cloud of dust emerged from the Vatican today as Pope Francis opened his Bible…”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster crawled out of his aquarium, grabbed a towel from a nearby drawer and crawled down the hall to the Set Enterprises Employees Shower Room where he took a shower.

Extremely Curious George the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher gazed at the lobster with a look of extreme bafflement on his face as he watched for the very first time this morning routine of the world famous Psychic Lobster.

Of course others at Set Enterprises (who had been around a lot longer than the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus) still looked at Michelangelo’s morning routine with extreme bafflement on their faces whenever they saw it.

The only ones who didn’t take a second look were Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague as well as the ghost of Winston Churchill whenever he happened to be visiting Set Enterprises Laboratories.

And speaking of Dr. Marmalade Montague, he had the body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a gurney with his mouth stretched wipe open about to receive the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin being poured down his throat through a contraption recently invented by Dr. Montague.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (dressed in a surgeon’s gown) had, last night, in his third post-mortem performed on the leprechaun since the start of this year, determined the cause of death to be Guinness laced with an extremely high content of a particularly toxic variety of cobra venom.

The other two times Yaldabaoth had died since the start of 2021- the 1st cause of death had been eating lutefisk and the 2nd cause of death had been drinking a bottle of champagne laced with Fire Salamander venom.

Coincidentally on all three occasions Yaldabaoth had keeled over and died on the spot after seeing a beautiful woman wearing a killer outfit.

Now Dr. Marmalade Montague was once again using 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin to bring Yaldabaoth back from the dead.

“I think Hendrick’s Gin should start advertising this medicinal benefit of their product for leprechauns in their TV commercials,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to Set Enterprises Intelligence Secret Agent Miranda Singh.

“Maybe someone should let them know,” Miranda suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 18th
2021.

Permalink 4 Comments

Extremely Curious George

March 15, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”

“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”

“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.

“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”

“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.

“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”

“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.

“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”

“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.

“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.

“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.

“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.

“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.

“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”

A strange cry is heard.

“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.

Permalink 4 Comments

The Shy Stegosaurus of Cricket Creek: A Poem

March 31, 2016 at 7:45 pm (Book Reviews, books, Children's Story, Poetry) (, , , , , )

The Shy Stegosaurus of Cricket Creek: A Poem

When I was a boy, there was a book that I thought was rather neat
It was The Shy Stegosaurus of Cricket Creek
George was the introverted dinosaur’s name
A great prehistoric fella not seeking fame
He wrecked a small passenger airplane on the ground
mistaking it for pterodactyl- a hypothesis unsound
He met 2 kids and had exciting adventures
He never ran into a T-Rex’s Polygrip dentures
And finally one day he said good-bye
The two children started to cry
And deep into the canyon and off into the sunset he went
Prehistory had met modern in a time well spent.

-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday March 31st
2016.

Permalink 10 Comments