Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

November 27, 2015 at 9:34 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

The brilliant scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher (who some called “mad”, others called “insane” and the politically correct called “sanity challenged”) sat in his office overlooking the laboratory of Set Enterprises.

He looked down at the laboratory and noticed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster sleeping peacefully in his lobster tank.

Which was a good thing.

The lobster tank had mysteriously exploded on 7 different occasions the past few weeks.

And the higher-ups on the Board of Directors of Set Enterprises were starting to take notice.

Especially the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s new personal chartered accountant Ayn Rand Nosferatu.

A strange woman. Not quite human. Not quite vampire.

And different from both in that x-rays showed that she had within her chest an ancient Chinese abacus in the place where her heart should have been.

Her office was quite intimidating.

She had a statue of the Titan Atlas shrugging and casting the world down at the feet of a raven that had on its head a marble bust of Adam Smith.

The face of Atlas bore a striking resemblance to Donald Trump and the inscription below the statue read, “Do not give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, your wretched refuse or your homeless.”

On the wall was an oil painting of a sour looking Ebenezer Scrooge.

The painting was titled Portrait of Ebenezer Scrooge Prior To His Visit By The Communist Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

Ayn Rand Nosferatu told Dr. Rocher in no uncertain terms that the company would not be buying any more lobster tanks.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher then turned to thoughts of his great grandmother.

It was embarrassing.

His great grandmother was 161 years old, still alive and didn’t look a day over 30.

And to top it off, Renfield R. Renfield had recently hired his (Rocher’s) great grandmother as his personal dominatrix.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher stood up as memories of his own childhood came back to mind.

He subconsciously rubbed his buttocks.

His great grandmother was certainly a woman who knew how to spank.

His great grandmother Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister) who kept her maiden name had managed to achieve immortality by eating a Linghzi Supernatural Mushroom that had been specially treated by his great grandfather Dr. Louis Rocher (who was also a great scientific genius) to offset the possible harmful side effect of turning to stone once the mushroom was eaten.

Dr. Louis Rocher had decided not to eat the Supernatural Mushroom right away himself.

He would wait to eat it.

That was a mistake on his part.

As a fighter pilot for the RAF, Louis Rocher ended up dying after being shot down by the Red Baron Manfred Von Richtofen on April 20th 1918 (just a day prior to the Red Baron’s own demise on April 21st 1918).

So the end result was that his great grandmother was immortal without the love of her love Louis by her side.

As Cadbury Rocher looked down at the laboratory, he began to wonder if there was any correlation between Michelangelo’s lobster tanks exploding and nude drawings, sketches and paintings of his great grandmother Sherrielock Holmes being found in the laboratory.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 27th
2015.

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Sherrielock Holmes

November 23, 2015 at 8:30 pm (History, Mystery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes

It was the autumn of 1893.

And London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (the virtually unknown twin sister of Sherlock Holmes whose existence was vigourously denied by the Holmes family) had been entertaining a client in her London apartments.

“Well,” said her client, “it’s good thing I’m giving a speech in the House of Commons this afternoon. That means I’ll be standing. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit today.”

Her client exited the apartment and she could hear her client’s London bobby bodyguard say, “The street seems to be clear of any reporters, Mr. Prime Minister. I think it’s safe to enter your carriage.”

Sherrielock returned to her own thoughts as she put away the cane and wooden paddle.

She was thinking of a young man she had met in Paris that summer.

Louis.

A promising young physics and chemistry student at the Sorbonne.

The man was a genius.

He claimed to have in his possession the notebooks of the legendary Faust- the Renaissance alchemist whose tale and exploits had been made famous by England’s Christopher Marlowe and Germany’s Goethe.

He was also studying the work of the monk geneticist Gregor Johann Mendel.

He also had hopes of discovering the secret of immortality..

How Sherrielock longed to be immortal.

And to be immortal without being confined to the nocturnal existence of vampires and vampiresses.

. . .

Sherrielock Holmes walked through London’s Chinatown taking in the vibrant sights and unique aromas.

She wondered to herself if she went into one of the district’s nefarious opium dens if she’d spot her twin brother there- partaking of that strange vaporous dragon because he hadn’t any interesting cases lately.

She noticed a vendor with a stall and sign that said Ling Po’s Marvelous Mushrooms.

“So, Mr. Ling Po,” she smiled at the vendor, “what’s your most wonderful mushroom?”.

“That would be the Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom, Missy,” the old vendor replied with a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, a supernatural mushroom,” Sherrie smiled as she threw back her long dark hair.

“Yes, it’s said to eat it under certain conditions that it will grant one immortality,” Ling Po smiled.

“Oh well, then I shall buy some and eat it,” Sherrielock opened her purse.

“Wait, Missy,” Ling Po held up his hand.

“What is it?” Sherrie asked.

“The form of immortality the Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom will give you may not be the immortality you desire,” warned Ling Po.

“No?” Sherrie looked quizzical.

“The warriors of the first Chinese Emperor Qin Shi Huang were promised immortality by the Chinese sorceress Wu Xian should they eat the Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom boiled with a thousand year old egg,” Ling Po stated, “and in a sense they were granted immortality after they ate this strange brew. They turned to stone.”

“Turned to stone?” Sherrie struggled to get her coiled snake hairpin out of her hair.

“Yes, they became terracotta sculptures who were buried as funerary art when the Emperor Qin Shi Huang was buried circa 210-209 BC,” Ling Po explained, “and whether the request of the Emperor’s No. 1 wife was followed and Qin was buried face downwards so “he could see where he’s going” (his No. 1 wife’s words), I’m not sure. Nevertheless the Emperor’s stoned Terracotta Army was buried with him.”

“And has this tomb ever been found?” Sherrie asked as she raided her hair desperately searching for her hairpin.

“No,” Ling Po shook his head sadly, “There are rumours that the tomb is located in the Lintong District of Shaanxi Province in China but so far it has not been found.”

“I see,” Sherrie finally found her coiled snake hairpin, “nevertheless I’ll take the Linghzi Supernatural Mushroom. But I promise I won’t eat it boiled with a thousand year old egg.”

. . .

Sherrie walked through the streets of London vigourously clutching her bag of Linghzi Supernatural Mushrooms.

She was certain her handsome young French physicist chemist boyfriend could find a scientific way by which the Linghzi Supernatural Mushroom could be consumed that would grant one immortality without turning one to stone.

Her Louis.

Her handsome brave intelligent young Louis.

When she visited Paris the next time, she should really convince Louis to return with her to London to live.

Her Louis.

Physicist.

Chemist.

Scientific prodigy.

Genius extraordinaire.

Her Louis.

Monsieur Louis Rocher.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 21st
2015.

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