Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

September 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

The vampire novel chapter I wrote back on December 21st 2012 when something of cosmic significance was supposed to happen on Earth on that date according to Mayan, Aztec and Hopi Indian prophecies.

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2012/12/dec-21st-2012-tempest-or-much-ado-about.html?m=1

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Renfield In Davos

January 22, 2014 at 7:17 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Davos

Renfield R. Renfield was in Davos Switzerland getting ready for the World Economic Forum.

He was disturbed by reports that his boss Set’s estranged and separated wife the Vampiress Martini was seen all over Davos with Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf.

Mittendorf himself had not been seen for 30 years.

Then a few weeks ago, Mittendorf suddenly appeared in public again- in the arms of the Vampiress Martini.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen partying in Geneva.

Mittendorf and Martini were seen partying in Zurich.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen eating basil leafs in Basel.

Mittendorf and Martini were seen yodeling on the Matterhorn.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen live on CNN being rescued by helicopter to escape an avalanche on the Matterhorn said to have been caused by the sound of lousy yodeling.

Renfield wondered whether these two might be secretly planning something against his boss.

Then to top it off, there were reports that agents of his boss’ arch-enemy the Paris based Vampiress Isis were seen attending the Geneva II Peace Conference Talks on Syria that today were held in the Swiss city of Montreux.

Then agents of the Vampiress Isis were also seen in anti-government protests in the streets of the Ukrainian capital of Kiev.

Finally agents of Isis were seen in anti-government protests on the streets of Bangkok Thailand.

Renfield wondered what in the world was going on…

…especially as he viewed the unbelievable and incomprehensible positions he was now seeing on the Internet porn site he was at…

He looked over at his friend and fellow employee Amadeus Emanon to see how he was coping with the world situation.

Amadeus was contentedly munching on Swiss chocolates and humming, “The hills are alive with the sound of music…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 22nd
2014.

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A Birthday In North Korea and A Night In Switzerland

January 7, 2014 at 8:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

A Birthday In North Korea and A Night In Switzerland

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was hoping to get some nookie on his birthday from the Welsh vampiress Morgana a rising pop star in the west who often shot music videos in North Korea because she didn’t have to pay her extras there.

Kim already had his uncle executed last month for daring to make sexual advances on Morgana although the story manufactured for the Western press was that he was guilty of treason against the state (although for Kim Jong-un like England’s King Henry VIII many centuries before him, to dally or to try to dally with the object of the tyrant’s sexual desires was treason against the state).

“Please, please, Morgana,” Kim begged, “after all it’s my birthday.”

“Beat it creep,” Morgana slapped his face, turned into a bat and flew away.

Retired basketball star Dennis Rodman had walked into Kim’s bedroom at that moment and saw what happened.

“She won’t give me any nookie for my birthday,” Kim bawled.

Rodman said, “Wow, bummer.”

“No thanks,” Kim replied.

. . .

The Invisible Man elusive Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf had finally managed to track down where exactly the Vampiress Martini was living in Switzerland.

Mittendorf had become invisible back in the early 1980s when he had drunk an invisibility potion made for him by a promising young sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

Dr. Rocher had neglected to tell the Swiss billionaire that he hadn’t yet developed an antidote for it.

And so Lester Mittendorf had remained invisible ever since.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher went on to become the Chief Scientist at Set Enterprises Laboratories the scientific research and development firm owned by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

As for Mittendorf, he thought he had finally stumbled upon the answer to his invisibility problem last year.

In an ancient alchemical text he came across, it was written that if one had drunk an invisibility potion and had become invisible and couldn’t get back to becoming visible again, to get bit on the neck by a vampiress would make one visible again.

Mittendorf had heard that the Vampiress Martini the heiress to the Romanov billions (she had been married back in 1931 to George Count Brasov a nephew of Czar Nicholas II and the heir to the Russian Imperial Throne) was alive and undead and well and living in Switzerland.

Ironically the Vampiress Martini had been briefly married to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (the current employer of sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher).

Set and Martini had separated due to irreconcilable differences (translation: Viagara didn’t work so well for vampires).

Mittendorf had traced Martini down to this particular Swiss chalet.

At first, Martini was somewhat surprised to encounter an invisible man.

She had never seen one before (although she still hadn’t seen one).

She agreed to bite Mittendorf on the neck.

They went up to her bed room to make out.

After all, why settle for a bite on the neck when you can have the whole package?

. . .

Russian billionaire Mikhail Khodorkovsky knocked on the door of the Vampiress Martini’s Swiss chalet.

The ex-oil tycoon had been released from jail in Russia last month when he got a Presidential pardon from Russian President Vladimir Putin who was anxious to build up good PR for himself ahead of next month’s Sochi Winter Olympics.

Khodorkovsky was now living in Switzerland for the next 3 months. His two sons already attended school there.

He had heard about the vampiress Martini and checked Google Maps to find out where in Switzerland she was living (something Mittendorf hadn’t done which is what took him so long to locate her).

No answer on the door.

Khodorkovsky opened it.

He heard a strange noise coming from upstairs.

He decided to investigate.

He walked up the stairs of the chalet and then down the hall to the bedroom.

He opened the door and there on the blanketless bed was the Vampiress Martini making out with elusive Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf who was only half-way to becoming visible again.

“Oh my God,” Khodorkovsky gasped.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 7th
2014.

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