Jack O’ Hare and The Leprechaun: A Poem

March 12, 2015 at 6:01 pm (Children's Story, Entertainment, Folklore, Music, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare and The Leprechaun: A Poem

In the land of Ireland roamed the bunny rabbit Jack O’ Hare
he hopped here and there across this land so green and fair
And as he made conversation with an Irish fawn
he turned around and saw… a leprechaun
The leprechaun wept, “Someone has stolen me pot o’ gold.”
Said Jack, “Who would do such a dastardly deed so bold?”
“I don’t know,” the leprechaun shrugged
his arms around a tree he hugged.
Said Jack, “I’ll help you find the thief,
this villainous villain who’s caused such grief.”
So to the rainbow’s end they went
and stood outside the little man’s tent.
Explained Seamus the leprechaun, “It was here that I slept
after downing a can of Guinness I kept.”

“What does your magic mirror say?”
Jack looked at the glass next to the sun ray.
“Me magic mirror,” the leprechaun shouted
as a four-leaf clover sprouted,
“I forgot all about it,
why I’ve lost my wit.”

They looked into the mirror and the picture unfolded,
the thief stood there with his mug shot uploaded,
“Why I’ve seen that man,” said Jack O’ Hare,
“he lives in London near the town square.”

So to London they flew
on Aer Lingus
sampling Guinness stew.
They got off the plane quite pickled
lucky for them, Customs were fickle.

They took the tube to London
and recited Kipling’s Gunga Din.
Got off the tube
holding martini with ice cube
and hailed a taxi.
Then talked to a patsy
who revealed the thief’s whereabouts
and after paying him off with Brussels sprouts
headed off to a Taylor Swift concert
and after entering without shoes or shirt
saw the thief sitting in the front row
wearing designer threads from head to toe.

As Seamus wrestled the man to the ground,
Jack jumped on the stage without making a sound,
spoke Taylor Swift to the crowd
leaving them fairly wowed,
“If you’re lucky enough to be different from everyone else, don’t ever change.”
So Jack O’ Hare hopped to the mike and sang Home On The Range.
As self-styled critics booed
and responded with gestures rude,
Taylor sang, “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate…”
Meanwhile the thief in Seamus’ hands was left to his fate, fate, fate…

Taylor sang, “Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake…”
which is what Seamus did to the thief whose body started to quake, quake, quake…
As gold coins fell by the thousands out of the thief’s pockets,
Taylor Swift threw back her own golden lockets,
“The fakers gonna fake, fake, fake…”
Meanwhile into Scotland Yard’s hands went the thievish rake, rake, rake…

Meanwhile Jack’s duet with Taylor was soon all the rage
Fans didn’t want them to leave the stage
The lucky hare got a kiss that was Taylor-made
And Seamus thought when it came to friendship, Jack’s made the grade.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Thursday March 12th

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Fifty Shades of Grey Meets Taylor Swift At London Art Gallery

February 12, 2015 at 8:13 pm (Commentary, Entertainment, Literature, Movies, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Fifty Shades of Grey Meets Taylor Swift At London Art Gallery

Renfield R. Renfield was bothered by the fact that he still hadn’t received a reply from Buckingham Palace for the letter he wrote asking them why his name wasn’t included in the Queen’s New Year’s Honours List for this year as Renfield felt he really and truly deserved a knighthood in his own humble opinion.

So Renfield decided to build up publicity for himself among the City of London establishment by getting involved in a charity event for the London Society For The Support of The Arts.

The event was held at a private art gallery in the City of London- the Cirillo Gallery.

Participants were asked to produce works of art that would then be sold at a silent charity auction on the night of the charity event.

Renfield submitted two items- one for the oil painting category and one for the short music video put on DVD category.

For the oil painting category, Renfield painted a very abstract expressionistic painting of the portrait of Dorian Gray (based on Oscar Wilde’s famous novel) that he called 50 Shades of Gray.

For the short music video category, he had covertly shot film footage (with a hidden camera) that he set to the music and voice of Taylor Swift singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture” showing a male British Conservative cabinet minister getting spanked on the bare buttocks while lying over the knee of a tight leather skirt and spiked stiletto wearing beautiful female dominatrix.

The said British Conservative cabinet minister suddenly found himself out of the cabinet and sitting on a large fluffy pillow on the Conservative Party backbenches in Parliament the day after the charity auction.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 11th

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