Cardi B. and The Time Traveller: A Poem

February 7, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Detective story, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, Mystery, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


Singer Cardi B. flees Lancaster Hall in England in 1888 leaving behind a giant sized shoe.

“So you really expect me to believe you’re a time traveller from the year 2019?” Consulting detective Sherlock Holmes asked somewhat skeptically.

“Whether you believe it or not, it is true,” replied Dracul Van Helsing who had recently seen Achilles slay his enemy in a manner most Hectorly.

“I have worked on stranger cases,” Holmes admitted.

He looked at Dracul wondering if he should have him committed.

“And what do you mean by a hip hop singer?” Holmes looked as though he’d been through the ringer.

“Do not worry about musical terms from the future,” said Dracul, “rather worry about Cardi B. whom Vampiress Lilith wants to goose her.”

“May I ask why?” Holmes looked up at the dark sky.

“It has to do with Solomon and the Queen of Sheba,” Dracul stated in the midst of an atmospheric upheava.

Holmes looked confused, the coachman looked bemused and the estate cat looked amused.

“It has to do with Cardi B.’s real name,” Dracul played with an open window pane.

“Which is,” Van Helsing went on, “Belcalls Almanzar. Watch out for that falling star…

Holmes quickly jumped out of the way.

And the star landed in some hay.

Much to a hungry horse’s dismay.

His dinner went up in a blaze of smoke.

All that’s left- a solitary artichoke.

The horse ate the artichoke as Dracul continued his story,

“Lilith’s dealings with Solomon- somewhat gory…”

“But what does this have to do with Cardi B.?” Holmes lit his pipe under a tree.

“Her real name,” a soft breeze came, “Belcalls refers to the Queen of Sheba and Almanzar means watchtower. Watch that flower..”

Holmes avoided stepping on the Lancaster Hall estate’s red rose as the cat pranced about on tippy toes.

“So Lilith thinks Cardi B. is the watchtower of the Queen of Sheba,” Dracul went on, “so vampiress wreaks vengeance on Solomon by killing this singing diva.”

A scream went through the air as the terror that flies by night lost her shoes while Sherlock looked in the garden for more clues.

Cardi ran off after the terror by night while Lilith’s shoe glittered in the lamplight.

The next day, Cardi rode a white horse into the countryside

where horse and rider gave each other quite the ride.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 7th
2019.

Advertisements

Permalink Leave a Comment

Night of The Blood Red Moon

July 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Night of The Blood Red Moon

The Greek Goddess Hera

“Go forth, Hermes,” Hera commanded, “and ask the Pythian sibyl high priestess of Apollo at Delphi what shall be the first sign marking the beginning of the age of sorrows that shall commence in the 2nd Coming of the Holy One born in Bethlehem of Judea.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screeching in his aquarium when he heard the Pythia’s response to Hermes’ question.

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA shifted on his feet uncomfortably outside the Oval Bathroom 🚽 of the White House as Donald Trump was having a bowel movement inside and firing off the latest DARPA secret weapon – a cruise tweet- at the entire political and military leadership of Iran.

The U.S. leader then checked his incoming tweets.

“What?” The Donald cried, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan just told me to go fuck myself because I demanded the release of American pastor Andrew Brunson from one of those sodomite Turkish prisons where the Turkish guards have a field day. I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…”

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was examining the work of Israeli scientist Saul Kullok.

Kullok had been examining the work of British scientist Sir Isaac Newton.

Newton had apparently studied the entire Old Testament in the original Hebrew and in his book The Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms published in 1728 a year after Newton’s death in 1727, Kullok had noticed that Newton had inserted his own detailed drawings of Solomon’s original Temple in Chapter V of the Book.

Newton in the Book claimed that Solomon’s Temple was a building whose dimensions corresponded to the measurements of the cosmos and the building was constructed in an architectural code that precisely detailed the mathematical measurements of the universe.

Dr. Rocher did not know what to think of either Kullok’s or Newton’s work as he turned off his laptop where he had been reading Kullok’s essays.

However Dr. Rocher had used Newton’s detailed drawings of Solomon’s Temple to program his 3-D laser printer to print an exact replica model (on a smaller scale of course) of the original First Temple for the Temple Mount Faithful an organization in Israel seeking to build the Third Temple.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher was about to leave his office at the Set Enterprises lab as he heard the shrieks of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster coming from his aquarium, he got a phone call on his smart phone.

It was from his boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s archenemy the Paris-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

She was phoning to discuss the building of the Third Temple in Jerusalem of all things.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just inhaled a whiff of marijuana smoke that was exhaled by Strawberry Fields Forever (which was the name of his genetically created pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant).

As such, Justin to his horror saw the ET gray Gali-Gula that he always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.

“So tell me, Gali,” Justin said as he looked up through the glass ceiling of his plant greenhouse for signs of the blood red moon 🌚, “who is your planet Nibiru’s greatest scientist?”.

Justin had been recalling earlier in the day how when Canada’s asshole then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney had announced his retirement, the Israeli government had awarded him the Israeli National Science and Technology Medal.

“Nibiru’s greatest scientist is Pythagogorgosaurus,” Gali-Gula replied.

“Has he recently communicated with earth?” Justin asked as he started to whistle the tune to the old Beatles song Strawberry Fields Forever.

“The last time he communicated with Earth was when he received a laser message from a glowing white globe that was sent into outer space by Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman,” Gali-Gula answered.

“Really?” Justin answered as he fell face forward into the bush of Alberta Wild Roses inside his greenhouse and started to sing, “Hey Jude, don’t ask me why. Sing a sad song and make it better…”

. . .

The blood red moon over Athens:

Hera to Apollo (as they stood underneath their respective statues): “And so rises the sign foretold by your high priestess…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 27th
2018.

Permalink 38 Comments

The Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

May 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked down the garden steps of the royal palace at Versailles:

https://pin.it/5acbbfmnqdrzvj

She had first seen Versailles back in 1799 when she came to France from Egypt with Napoleon Bonaparte.

Both Napoleon I and later Napoleon III the vampiress Isis had acted as a strong supporter of and an influential advisor to.

Now after having visited the royal palace at Versailles, she would be driven by limousine to Napoleon’s tomb in Paris where she would stop and say a prayer to her grandfather the Egyptian sun god Ra.

Then she would head to the French Presidential Palace there to meet with Emmanuel Macron the President of France 🇫🇷.

While visiting President Macron, they would hold a teleconferencing call with Pope Francis in Rome.

. . .

Pope Francis had been seeing a lot of demons around the Vatican the past month.

He finally got so sick of seeing them, he finally broke down and asked one directly, “Why are you wretched demons hanging around the Vatican these days?”.

“Where else can we go?” The demon shrugged, “You yourself have said that there is no Hell.”

Francis went away harrumphing like Major Hoople in that old newspaper cartoon and comic strip Our Boarding House.

He looked at the date on the calendar – May 4th 2018.

He was supposed to do something today but he couldn’t remember what it was.

He knew what he was planning to do tomorrow- May 5th 2018.

He had thought of canonizing Karl Marx as a birthday present for the latter’s 200th birthday tomorrow and declaring him a member of the Catholic Communion of Saints but he had been strongly advised against it by most of his cardinal advisers.

What was it he was supposed to do today?

He grabbed a pitchfork and stuck it up the rear end of some tiny elf sized little demon who got in his way.

Then he remembered.

He was supposed to be having a teleconferencing call with French President Emmanuel Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis who would be calling him from Paris.

Pope Francis went to his room and waited by the speaker phone on his desk.

The phone rang.

Francis picked it up.

Sure enough it was President Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis.

After an exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business.

“Holy Father,” Isis asked, “what do you think of the idea of using a recently discovered ancient manuscript on magic written by King Solomon to invoke ancient jinn to rebuild the original Temple of Solomon on Mount Moriah?”.

Pope Francis spat out a mouthful from his glass of Mogen David wine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 4th
2018.

Permalink 25 Comments

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

Permalink 13 Comments

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

March 28, 2018 at 10:35 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting alone in his parliamentary office.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill wasn’t present because he was being forced to attend a ghostly cocktail party in Purgatory at which the ghost of Lady Astor would be present.

“Like Hamlet’s father’s ghost in Shakespeare’s famous Danish play,” Churchill roared in a paraphrase of Hamlet’s spectral paternal parent, “it is at parties like these where the bad things I did in my days of nature are thoroughly punished.”

“Well, it could be worse,” the atheist Renfield, with no belief in Purgatory, remarked sympathetically, “you could be in Tartarus where Hitler’s ghost is.”

Renfield was unaware that Hades the god of the Underworld had temporarily released Hitler’s spirit from Tartarus at the request of the Norse/Germanic god Odin/Wotan (Churchill’s ghost was likewise unaware of Hitler’s reprieve at the hands of Persephone’s husband).

Hitler’s spirit had entered the body of a grey wolf 🐺 and was currently hanging out with the anti-Semitic ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith as well as paying the occasional visit to Vladimir Putin although Putin was unaware that the grey wolf was possessed by Hitler’s ghost.

Speaking of Hitler and Putin, Renfield was quite pleased with himself because earlier today he had hacked into Russia’s state run television network and put in an image of Vladimir Putin with Hitler’s moustache and haircut that appeared on the TV screen whenever the network ran a news story where the Russian leader was mentioned.

Putin was absolutely livid and furious when he found out and gave the order to all of 🇷🇺 Russia’s intelligence services to find the one responsible and bump that person off with the Novichok nerve agent (at the same time as Putin issued the directive, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was giving a press conference in which he emphatically denied that Russia 🇷🇺 was in current possession of the nerve agent).

Renfield had tossed a few bread crumbs to the Russian intelligence services in his speech in the Commons today by continuously referring to Putin as “the Slavic Hitler” in his speech but so far the Russian agencies did not have an intellectual equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the Renfieldian hints.

Neither for that matter did America’s intelligence services since Donald Trump did not tweet about the subject.

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was currently examining an MI-5 and MI-6 report on a British company called Palmyra Analytica.

The reason Renfield read the report as soon as he heard about it was because his creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises was currently doing freelance consulting work for Palmyra Analytica.

Dr. Rocher was building a 3-D printer for Palmyra Analytica.

The 3-D printer when completed would be capable of producing an exact copy (down to the smallest and most exact detail) of the original Temple of Solomon built by Solomon himself.

Renfield was horrified to discover when reading the report that Palmyra Analytica was in fact owned by a front company that was owned by his former boss Set’s arch enemies the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris.

“Why,” Renfield wondered to himself, “do Isis and Osiris want to rebuild Solomon’s original Temple?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 28th
2018.

Permalink 18 Comments

The Cobra On The Temple Mount

March 31, 2014 at 7:29 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Cobra On The Temple Mount

On this last day of March in the year 2014, Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol once again stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

He once again looked for signs of the panther Konalu the supernatural entity that was astral projected at a great distance by Fenrir the Norse apocalyptic wolf of the Battle of Ragnarok.

But no Konalu.

He also looked around for signs of the demon Asmodeus that he had recently spotted on the Temple Mount.

But no Asmodeus.

What he saw instead was a giant Cobra seemingly emerging from the center of the Earth below the Temple Mount.

The Cobra rose and rose.

And stood atop the Temple Mount rising to a tremendous height above the City of Jerusalem- the same height as the statue of Christ the Redeemer that overlooks the City of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.

People on and around the Temple Mount were oblivious to the presence of the Cobra as if it were an invisible force.

Muslim believers continued to enter and exit the al-Aqsa Mosque.

Jewish believers continued to pray at the Wailing Wall at the foot of the western side of the Temple Mount.

And confused American tourists at the bottom of the Temple Mount asked whereabouts was the Temple of Solomon as they wanted to get a pic of it to post to their Facebook page.

The Cobra bared its fangs and let out a huge hiss.

The hiss seemed to attract a huge flock of ferocious looking ravens who flew down and settled all over the Temple Mount.

Opposite the Temple Mount in the eastern sky flew a lone white dove.

In his mind, Whitstable thought he could hear a soft gentle female voice singing,

Fly little white dove fly
spread your wings sing out your cry
‘cross the universal sky…

The little white dove turned and flew away looking for a land where it would truly feel welcome.

It had a long way to fly.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 31st
2014.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Isis and Solomon

March 6, 2011 at 9:55 pm (Mystery, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , )

Tonight as the Egyptian vampiress Isis stood in her silk lingerie nightdress in her penthouse atop a tall Parisienne apartment building, she looked out at the Paris skyline and her mind drifted back millenia ago to the ancient City of Jerusalem.

“Solomon,” the sultry but lilting feminine voice spoke to the young Israeli monarch who stood by one of Jerusalem’s babbling brooks on this calm moonlit night.

The young king gazed in the direction of the stunning beautiful vampiress who was arrayed in a lovely red gown.

“Do I know you?” Solomon asked.

“I am Wisdom,” Isis approached him with her seductive smile trying hard not to sneer as she spoke those words.

“Wisdom?” Solomon blinked.

“Did you not ask The Lord your God for wisdom?” Isis approached baring her fangs.

“Yes, but…” Solomon could not finish his sentence as he gazed upon this sensuous apparition of the night.

“Well, here I am,” she laughed.

She approached and loosened the rope around his robe letting it fall to the ground.

She bit him on the lips with her fangs and then pushed him back to the ground.

She then mounted him.

* * *

Some time later outside the court of King Hiram I of Tyre, the Vampiress Isis stood with her husband the Vampire Osiris who was not in such great shape.

“You all right?” she looked with concern at her husband, lover and brother.

“To have been chopped into 14 pieces once and to have one’s phallus cut off is not something one ever recovers from,” Osiris noted wryly.

Osiris had been dismembered by his brother Set.

His brother had never forgiven Osiris for their sister Isis choosing to marry him Osiris rather than he Set.

Set then scattered his brother Osiris’ parts throughout the Land of Egypt.

Isis managed to retrieve and collect all 14 parts of Osiris except his phallus.

She put the parts back together again and using a piece of wood for his phallus- she used a spell from the Egyptian Book of the Dead to bring Osiris back to life.

Using another magical spell- this one an ancient Mesopotamian magical spell- she managed to enflesh Osiris’ wooden phallus temporarily one night and impregnate herself.

She then gave birth to Horus 9 months later.

But Osiris had never really truly been himself since his bodily dismemberment.

So Isis managed to send a message to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the world’s first vampiress and asked her to turn Osiris into a vampiric immortal.

This Lilith graciously did.

And at Isis’ request, Lilith turned her Isis into a vampiric immortal as well.

Later when Isis’ son Horus reached the age of 21, Lilith turned him into a vampiric immortal as well at Isis’ request.

When Set heard the news that Isis, Osiris and Horus had become vampiric immortals, he too wanted a piece of the action.

And he got it by giving the nymphomaniac Vampiress Lilith a piece of tail.

“My piece I give you,” Set said as he mounted her, “not as the world gives but I give.”

He entered her sacred temple and she bit him on the neck.

And this act of tantric sex would change the cosmos over Egypt.

* * *

“What are we to do?” Osiris asked Isis.

“We must abide for awhile in another land,” Isis said.

And to Tyre they went where Osiris posed as an architect named Hiram Abiff.

And in Tyre, Isis had come to hear of the young King Solomon and the mysterious god that Solomon worshipped- a god who had no idol of himself- the god known as Yahweh.

When Solomon asked his friend and ally KIng Hiram of Tyre for wood and craftsmen in building his temple to his god, Hiram sent him cedar and Hiram Abiff.

That is why Isis slept with Solomon before the Temple was to be built.

For she wanted this Temple for Yahweh to become a temple to her and Osiris- a temple through which they would eventually challenge Set for mastery of the cosmos.

And in Egypt, Set’s spies reported back to him.

And Set sent three ruffians to murder Hiram Abiff.

And again the slain Osiris was once again resurrected.

And Osiris as Hiram Abiff built Solomon his temple.

And Isis once again slept with Solomon the night the Temple was dedicated in 953 B.C.

She then arranged for Solomon to sleep with her good friend the Phoenician vampiress Ashtoreth.

Through carnal relations with vampiresses and through his many foreign-born wives (including the daughter of Pharaoh) and foreign-born concubines, Solomon came to serve other gods besides Yahweh.

Isis smiled as she recalled all this in her Parisienne penthouse apartment.

Through sex, the man called the “wisest man who ever lived” had become her slave.

And now in this new century and this new millennium, she would find new slaves and new rulers to do her bidding.

To be continued.

Permalink 1 Comment