Renfield R. Renfield and The British Arthurian ₱arty

December 27, 2022 at 10:56 pm (Christmas, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Welsh vam₱iress Morgana Fay Lee holds a red fox at British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Christmas Day ₱ress conference in which he announces the change of name from the British Transhumanist ₱arty to the British Arthurian ₱arty

  • This ₱ast Christmas Day Sunday December 25th 2022 British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield the British Transhumanist ₱arty M₱ for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds announced that he was changing the name of his ₱arty from the British Transhumanist ₱arty to the British Arthurian ₱arty.
  • Joining him at the ₱ress conference was his sole and fellow British Transhumanist ₱arty M₱ the Welsh vam₱iress Morgana Fay Lee (the great niece of Morgan Le Fay the mighty sorceress of the Arthurian era) who was the British Transhumanist M₱ for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge In Wales.
  • Earlier this year after reading an essay by Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari which struck him as being a high tech sci-fi version of Friedrich Nietzsche’s Thus S₱oke Zarathustra (Nietzsche whose ₱hiloso₱hy had ins₱ired Fascism and Naziism), Renfield had come to the conclusion that Transhumanism, like Fascism and Communism, was inca₱able of redem₱tion. It was just another a₱₱le removed from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil which, went eaten, always leads to death.
  • So this ₱ast October 25th (the Feast of Saints Cris₱in and Cris₱inian) Renfield announced that the name of his ₱arty should be changed from the British Transhumanist ₱arty to the British Arthurian ₱arty (ins₱ired by the ideals and high ₱rinci₱les of Britain’s Arthurian Age).
  • Ballots were sent to all the ₱arty members to a₱₱rove the name change.
  • Deadline for returning ballots was Monday December 19th.
  • With results to be announced Christmas Day.
  • And now the results had been announced.
  • The British Transhumanist ₱arty was now the British Arthurian ₱arty.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Tuesday December 27th 2022

    Permalink 2 Comments

  • Mirabella Francesca Franconia: Dressed To Kill

    May 20, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Mirabella Francesca Franconia: Dressed To Kill

    Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enterprises when he picked up another television news story from the future on his psychic lobster antennae.

    News Announcer: Today’s top story… U.S. President Donald Trump dies from a hydroxychloroquine drug overdose.
    And in another news… A mask wearing Nancy Pelosi was shot and killed by a San Francisco police officer when she walked within six feet of the front steps of a Catholic Church.
    Said the policeman afterwards, “If she hadn’t been wearing a mask, I wouldn’t have shot her. I’d have recognized her as Nancy Pelosi. As it was, I thought she was a person trying to enter the church in total violation of Gov. Gavin Newsom’s emergency decrees forbidding public church services.”

    The present day news was just as interesting which was currently being watched by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was filling in for the BBC News Anchorman who was currently in isolation and quarantine after visiting a brothel in Chelsea.

    Said Renfield, “10,000 residents have been evacuated and forced to flee their homes in the state of Michigan after the Edenville and Sanford dams were breached due to heavy rains and flooding.
    As was to be expected, Michigan’s inherently demonically possessed governor Gretchen Whitmer has told fleeing residents to continue wearing face masks and observe social distancing while evacuating.
    In other news, Alan Dershowitz the lawyer who defended pedophile Jeffrey Epstein in Florida in 2008 and got him a sweetheart deal of a plea bargain is now demanding mandatory vaccinations for everybody. People who refuse he said should be subject to legal punishment and be prevented from buying or selling.
    This Book of Revelation Chapter 13 Mark of the Beast system that Dershowitz is advocating is similar to the view held by self-proclaimed “Saviour of the World” Bill Gates (the computer technology billionaire who flew with Jeffrey Epstein down to Epstein’s Pedo Island on a number of occasions) who likewise is advocating mandatory vaccinations for all 7 billion people on this planet.
    It makes one wonder whether Epstein wasn’t working on a mandatory vaccine on his 8000 acre Zorro Ranch down in New Mexico where he was working on a eugenics program and hoping to seed his DNA with that of young girls in an attempt to create a master race.
    As for Bill Gates, he recently offered a $10 million bribe to the Nigerian House of Representatives for the passage of a compulsory coronavirus vaccine law in that country.
    People of good will everywhere are no doubt longing for the day when Bill Gates is finally charged with Crimes Against Humanity and then after being found guilty is taken out and shot by firing squad.”

    Meanwhile it had come to the attention of Renfield’s parliamentary Executive Assistant in Charge of Constituency Affairs Mirabella Francesca Franconia that leading members of the U.S. Democratic Party had hired a professional assassin to bump off Renfield as Renfield was exposing how the U.S. Democratic Party for the most part had turned into a Neo-Communist political movement.

    Dressed to kill 

    Mirabella Francesca Franconia was walking the streets and sidewalks of London to the B. and B. where the Democratic Party assassin was staying.

    She encountered the assassin in his room where he was kneeling in front of statues of the Democratic Party’s patron demonic deities Baal and Baphomet.

    She shot him dead and then called a cab to the London home of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where Renfield lived.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday May 20th
    2020.

    Permalink 12 Comments

    Q’ orianka Kilcher Is Renfield’s Favourite Environmentalist

    December 11, 2019 at 11:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Q’ orianka Kilcher Is Renfield’s Favourite Environmentalist

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back in the cozy comfort of his Tewkesbury Bed and Breakfast after an extensive night of door-to-door campaigning the evening before tomorrow’s UK General Election.

    “So, how did it go?” His friend Amadeus asked as he ate a strawberry jam covered crumpet.

    “It went fine until the very last house,” Renfield answered, “when I dropped all my cue cards. The voter finally closed the door on me by the time I got all my cue cards together in the right order again.”

    Taking a cue from British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his British Conservative Party TV ad parodying that famous scene from the 2003 Richard Curtis directed film Love Actually (that starred Hugh Grant) where some shy love struck man finally professes his love to his now married (to his best friend) woman of his dreams by appearing at her door on Christmas Eve and using cue cards to express his love, Renfield decided to use the same technique on his last night of campaigning.

    He certainly earned a great deal of money this evening as most people gave him a quid and told him to “bugger off”.

    Renfield gave Amadeus his opinion of a recent test flight of a sea plane that happened this week in the Canadian province of British Columbia.

    An old late 1950s De Havilland sea plane was fitted with an electric motor and ran its entire flight using electricity.

    Harbour Air the Vancouver based company that successfully conducted the 1st all electric sea plane flight was hoping to make its entire fleet of sea planes run on electricity rather than fossil fuels by 2022.

    “It’s innovation like this that is going to reduce fossil fuel use and carbon emissions and help the climate and environment, ” Renfield explained, “not the totalitarian Marxist style one world government by 2030 in the name of sustainable development that’s being promoted by the United Nations, George Soros, Jeffrey Sachs, U2 bonehead Bono and Pope Francis in the name of alleviating climate change. Of course apocalyptic soothsayers of doom like Greta Thunberg are causing more people to embrace the UN 2030 Sustainable Development Goals Agenda that if imposed would bring all of humanity under a draconian and despotic future. Orwell’s 1984 will then be complete in 2030.”

    “Did you know that Greta Thunberg was named TIME Magazine’s Person of The Year today?” Amadeus asked.

    “Shit,” said Renfield.

    The MP sipped his hot tea.

    “Still I shouldn’t be surprised,” Renfield acknowledged, “an age of hysteria like the age we’re living in is going to impose its accolades on hysterical people.”

    “I suppose that’s true,” Amadeus nodded.

    “You know,” Renfield gazed into the fire place, “For the past 10 years, the woman who’s probably Hollywood’s most talented actress and yet also one of its least known has been promoting the message of climate change and getting off fossil fuels. She’s been constantly doing this since 2009 when she was acclaimed for her role playing the Hawaiian Crown Princess Ka’iulani in the 2009 film Princess Ka’iulani. Her first breakthrough performance came back in 2005 when she played Pocahontas alongside Colin Farrell’s Captain John Smith in the 2005 film The New World. The first car she ever bought was an electric car long long before Elon Musk ever developed and marketed his Teslas. She makes her own dresses and gowns all made out of recycled materials. And has her own small fashion line doing the same thing.
    She goes down to Peru (her father’s ancestral homeland) continuously to help the indigenous peoples living down there. She led a demonstration against Peru’s then President Alan Garcia after his government had massacred indigenous peoples in the Amazon region for daring to stand up to multinational companies in Peru wanting to exploit the region for its resources. And she led that demonstration in Peru. She was the first public figure to expose that massacre to the entire world. She was also arrested twice in the U.S. for demonstrating against Garcia and the U.S. oil companies he was in bed with. Once chaining herself to the White House fence on an occasion in 2011 when Barack Obama met with the genocidal Garcia. She has constantly spoken out on climate change and issues affecting the world’s indigenous peoples. And always does it in a calm, gentle and rational manner. She has an inner strength about her that’s stronger than any outburst of anger or grumpiness. Her gentleness backed by that inner strength cannot really be fought or argued against. So much more effective than someone who comes across as a teenaged poster child for someone desperately in need of taking anger management classes. And Q’orianka has been doing this for 10 years now. How long has this Greta Thunberg been talking about climate change? Just over a year. So why have most people heard of Greta and not Q’orianka? Probably because Q’orianka is an indigenous woman descended from the Quechua peoples of Peru who helped build the Inca Empire and were master mathematicians, architects and astronomers. While Greta on the other hand is white and came from Sweden the first country to give the world pornography and gender re-assignment surgery. We know for all this talk of diversity in the year 2019 where the real power still lies.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday December 11th
    2019.

    Q’ orianka Kilcher at the 2nd Annual Legacy Charity Series Gala In Santa Monica California

    Permalink 16 Comments

    Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate

    November 21, 2019 at 11:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate 

    The debate being hosted tonight among candidates for MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds in the upcoming December 12th UK General Election was on the subject of Foreign Policy.

    Renfield R. Renfield the current British Transhumanist Party MP for the Constituency as well as the current UK Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was asked a question by the reporter for the local Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle on the matter of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today being formally charged by Israel’s Attorney-General with fraud, breach of trust and bribery.

    Said the corned beef on rye eating reporter for the Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle, “Mr. Netanyahu has described the charges as a “political witch hunt” and has said that the “authorities weren’t after the truth, they were after me” and has called on the country to “investigate the investigators”. Mr. Renfield, what is your take on that?”.

    “Well,” Renfield finished off his 2nd 40 oz. bottle of Scotch whisky for the debate, “If I was Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani, I’d be advising the Donald to sue Netanyahu for plagiarism and expropriation of one’s favourite turn of phrase x 3.”

    The next question came from the reporter for the local Undrained Swamp Times and was addressed to British Conservative candidate (and former Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds MP) Agathor Christie, “Mr. Christie, at today’s impeachment hearing in Washington DC, there seemed to be a conflict between Republican and Democrat as to which country most likely interfered in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election- Russia or Ukraine. Mr. Christie, who do you think it was that interfered in the U.S. election in 2016?”.

    “Well,” Christie was eating a bag full of Christie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, “I personally believe that it was the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen that was responsible for foreign interference in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. The hacking was done at computers at a popular jazz cafe on the island of Spitsbergen. This jazz cafe in Spitsbergen was first mentioned in a documentary that Orson Welles made back in 1973. The very same jazz cafe that was noted artist Pablo Picasso’s favourite destination during the winter months of the year…”

    Christie was unable to finish his answer because he then passed out on to the floor.

    “Well,” Renfield thought to himself, “we now know who was responsible for stealing and smoking that 20 gram bag of Canadian cannabis from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s aquarium.”

    There suddenly seemed to be a commotion in the meeting hall.

    Renfield wondered whether an assassination attempt was about to happen.

    Prior to the debate, Sherrielock Holmes the Chief of Security for Set Enterprises had informed Renfield that 3 different assassination teams would be after him tonight.

    Russian President Vladimir Putin had sent an FSB assassination squad to bump Renfield off.

    Donald Trump had sent a combined Israeli Mossad and Saudi Arabian hit squad (namely because he couldn’t trust U.S. deep state agency operatives to do his bidding) to bump Renfield off.

    Pope Francis had sent a Jesuit hit squad to bump Renfield off.

    Thus the meeting hall was stacked with Set Enterprises’ operatives and intelligence agents friendly to Renfield.

    There was Set Enterprises secret agents Miranda Singh and Harvey Tallbanger, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango.

    South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango: Backstage at the Tewkesbury constituency debate on Foreign Policy.

    The four Renfield allied intelligence operatives moved quickly into action.

    The light switches were hit.

    The hall went dark.

    And the 3 different assassination hit squad members ended up shooting and killing one another.

    Renfield then invited his 4 intelligence operatives friends back to his B and B for late night tea and crumpets.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday November 21st
    2019.

    Permalink 18 Comments

    Reblog of A Three Headed Dog Like Cerberus and The Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated

    December 22, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

    A vampire novel chapter I wrote this past June that ties in with some recent vampire novel chapters I have written.

    Dracul Van Helsing

    A Three Headed Dog Like Cerberus and The Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated

    Renfield R. Renfield MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds had just received a phone call from his parliamentary Executive Assistant In Charge of Constituency Affairs Mirabella Francesca Franconia the former Spanish flamenco 💃🏻 dancer.

    Senorita Franconia suggested that Renfield come to Tewkesbury in person to help out one of his constituents a middle aged widow by the name of Mrs. Margaret Lewis.

    Mrs. Lewis owned two dogs – a Welsh corgi and a Dachshund- who had recently both become demonically possessed.

    The corgi named Friendly and the Dachshund named Bashful had recently taken to playing around with a Ouija board and as a result of this nefarious new habit, they had both ended up becoming demonically possessed.

    Bashful went from being a Dachshund to becoming a giant spectral wolfhound who was able to bark in a medieval…

    View original post 367 more words

    Permalink 7 Comments

    A Three Headed Dog Like Cerberus and The Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated

    June 13, 2018 at 11:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    A Three Headed Dog Like Cerberus and The Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated

    Renfield R. Renfield MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds had just received a phone call from his parliamentary Executive Assistant In Charge of Constituency Affairs Mirabella Francesca Franconia the former Spanish flamenco 💃🏻 dancer.

    Senorita Franconia suggested that Renfield come to Tewkesbury in person to help out one of his constituents a middle aged widow by the name of Mrs. Margaret Lewis.

    Mrs. Lewis owned two dogs – a Welsh corgi and a Dachshund- who had recently both become demonically possessed.

    The corgi named Friendly and the Dachshund named Bashful had recently taken to playing around with a Ouija board and as a result of this nefarious new habit, they had both ended up becoming demonically possessed.

    Bashful went from being a Dachshund to becoming a giant spectral wolfhound who was able to bark in a medieval form of Norwegian to the veterinarian that it was a reincarnation of the Hound of the Baskervilles who had given Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson much trouble.

    Friendly the Welsh corgi went from being a corgi to possessing the body of a gigantic Saint Bernard who happened to have 3 heads- one was the head of a Rottweiler who growled in ancient Babylonian, one was the head of a Bassett hound who whimpered in ancient Egyptian and the third was the head of a chihuahua who yelped in a very peculiar form of Parisienne French and ancient Aztec.

    A veterinary psychiatrist who was brought in to determine whether the dogs were demonically possessed or just mentally ill opted for the former explanation after all four of his limbs were bitten off by the Rottweiler head.

    That and the fact that both the corgi and the Dachshund had not previously known how to read or speak long dead languages.

    Mrs. Lewis had gotten in touch with her parish priest the Church of England vicar Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the rector of Saint Swithin’s By The Floodwaters Parish Church.

    Father Aidan was going to perform an exorcism on the dogs and Senorita Franconia thought it might be a good idea if Renfield as Mrs. Lewis’ local MP helped in the exorcism.

    Renfield agreed and said he’d drive right down to Tewkesbury from London to participate in the exorcism.

    Renfield met up with Mirabella Francesca Franconia on the streets of Tewkesbury:

    Mirabella then escorted Renfield to the Saint Swithin’s vicarage where Father Aidan dressed in a protective suit of medieval knight’s armour stood waiting for them holding the two demonically possessed dogs on a gigantic iron leash.

    Father Aidan took Mirabella and Renfield to a place on the other side of town as he thought the exorcism should best be performed outdoors due to the wild unpredictable nature of the two beasts.

    The trio expressed disappointment when this sign greeted them at the place where Father Aidan intended to perform the exorcism:

    “Well,” sighed Renfield, “it looks like we’ll have to take our demonically possessed dogs elsewhere.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday June 13th
    2018.

    Permalink 73 Comments

    Set and The British Lord

    July 28, 2017 at 4:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Set and The British Lord

    The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having dinner with a member of the British House of Lords in the dining room of The Royal Albert Club (the very same club back in the 1920s that Winston Churchill had unofficially met with members of British Intelligence to discuss the Egyptian billionaire’s connections with the rising Nazi movement in Germany).

    The British Lord he was meeting with was Lord Leo of Panthera.

    “So, how does the outlook look for Britain these days?” Set asked Lord Leo.

    “Not so good,” Lord Leo eagerly bit into his veal brought to him by Isaiah the waiter, “it’s not a good thing for Britain to have a minority government just as we’re trying to negotiate Brexit.”

    “Any possibility of a National Unity government forming?” Set asked as he bit into his Duck a l’ Orange.

    “Some talk of it,” Lord Leo drank his coconut milk, “but not much. It’s said that Her Majesty the Queen has her own personal favourite that she’d like to see become Prime Minister in a national unity government.”

    “Oh,” Set washed his duck down with a Bourgogne Pinot Noir, “and who might that be?”.

    Leo paused in the middle of swallowing another slice of veal with his mouth agape in astonishment, “You mean to say you don’t know?”.

    “No, I don’t,” Set was starting to feel like an errant schoolboy who had neglected to do his homework.

    “Renfield R. Renfield the British Transhumanist MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds,” Lord Leo replied.

    “What?” Set spit out a mouthful of Bourgogne Pinot Noir far across the room that caused one gentleman’s Seafood Flambé to become even flambeier, “My former employee who still lives with me in my mansion?”.

    “That’s right,” Lord Leo grinned through his glass of coconut milk.

    “Wow,” Set finished the last of his duck, “it would be quite advantageous to me if Renfield were to become Prime Minister of Britain.”

    “Excuse me, gentleman,” Isaiah the waiter approached them, “but there’s a fire in the house. We would appreciate it if you moved to the nearest fire exits.”

    Set and Lord Leo moved quickly past the now burning out of control Seafood Flambé.

    “Well done, thou good and faithful servant,” Poseidon the Greek god of the sea said to a lobster who perished in the Seafood Flambé that day.

    Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screaming in his salt water aquarium down at the Set Enterprises laboratories.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday July 28th
    2017.

    Permalink 4 Comments

    Renfield’s Past Forays Into The Theatrical Arts

    June 15, 2017 at 3:12 pm (Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Musicals, Stage, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Britain’s The Sun newspaper decided to do a story on newly elected British MPs.

    The first MP selected was Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.

    He was one of two MPs elected for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

    Allthough Mr. Renfield founded the British Transhumanist Party in 2013, he was ousted as Party Leader in 2015 after the British Transhumanist Party’s disastrous showing in the May 2015 UK General Election.

    He was replaced by Welsh songstress Morgana Fay Lee (who some people call the Welsh Vampiress Morgana) as Party Leader.

    Morgana Fay Lee was likewise elected an MP in her constituency of Newbridge in Wales.

    After their two parliamentary electoral victories in this past June 8th UK General Election, Morgana announced she was stepping aside as Party leader saying she was unable to carry out much duties in the daytime (further leading to speculation that she’s a vampiress).
    Welsh Vampiress Morgana
    Welsh Vampiress Morgana After Twilight

    Although Mr. Renfield R. Renfield is a long-time Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the British firm Set Enterprises (owned by the billionaire Egyptian Mr. Sol Invictus Set), he is best known for his forays into the field of theatrical arts.

    A Clockwork Orange
    Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s West End London’s stage production of Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.

    Puccini's Madame Butterfly
    Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s production of Puccini’s Madame Butterfly.

    My Fair Lady
    Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s production of the musical My Fair Lady.

    Hot Girls In Love
    A scene from the music video Renfield R. Renfield shot for the song Hot Girls In Love.

    Alice In Wonderland
    And upon not seeing either the March Hare or the Mad Hatter anywhere in sight, Alice poured tea for herself.
    -From the Renfield R. Renfield production of Alice In Wonderland.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday June 15th
    2017.

    The Welsh Vampiress Morgana
    The Welsh Vampiress Morgana: Never appeared in a Renfield R. Renfield production thus saving her musical and artistic career and allowing her to be elected to Parliament.

    Permalink 2 Comments

    Election Analysis of Welsh Vampiress Morgana’s Election Victory

    June 10, 2017 at 3:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Renfield R. Renfield was spending his Saturday in the kitchen of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion celebrating his past Thursday’s election victory having been elected Member of Parliament for the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds Constituency (a constituency he had only chose to run in because its then MP Agathor Christie of the Conservatives had dared to appear in an Internet photo with Renfield’s personal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes the night before British Prime Minister Theresa May called the surprise UK election).

    “Yes, quite often those embarrassing Internet photos can end a politician’s political career,” Amadeus Emanon remarked while thinking sympathetically about Agathor Christie’s humiliating electoral loss of over 17,000 votes to Renfield.

    “Running in the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds was the best political decision I ever made,” Renfield grinned seeing as how he only got 1 vote running as a Transhumanist candidate in the constituency of London-Collingwood Hills (where Set’s colossal London mansion was located) in the 2015 UK General Election and had received 0 votes running as an Independent, a Democrat and a Republican in last year’s U.S. Presidential election.

    “Don’t be so smug,” Amadeus commented as he ate his pigeon pie, “if ISIS hadn’t launched terrorist attacks on Manchester and London, you’d never have been elected. Something Allah will no doubt tell the attackers as He sends them straight to Hell, do not pass Go, do not receive a Get Out of Hell Free Card and Do Not Collect 72 Dark-Eyed Virgins.”

    “Wow, that’s a pretty brilliant and profound statement coming from you, Amadeus,” Renfield was impressed.

    “Thanks,” Amadeus drank his Coca-Cola.

    “I wonder how the Welsh Vampiress Morgana managed to win her seat in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge defeating longtime incumbent Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley by over 300 votes,” Renfield mused aloud.

    “According to political analysts in most newspapers,” Amadeus ate his grilled cheese sandwich, “it was probably the photo of her appearing live on stage with Ariana Grande at the One Love Manchester concert that sealed her election victory.”

    “What?” Renfield turned red with rage and apoplexy, “how come Ariana Grande posed for a photo with the Welsh Vampiress Morgana but Ariana Grande wouldn’t pose for a photo with me?”.

    “Probably because you’re a jackass and the Welsh Vampiress Morgana isn’t,” Amadeus answered.

    “Thank you for your blunt honesty, Amadeus,” Renfield remarked sarcastically.

    “You’re welcome,” said Amadeus not bothering to take note of the sarcasm.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Saturday June 10th
    2017.

    Permalink 4 Comments

    Renfield Elected MP By A Landslide

    June 9, 2017 at 4:41 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Renfield R. Renfield representing the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party has won his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds by a landslide defeating his closest opponent sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agamemnon Thor Christie (often called Agathor Christie for short) by over 17,000 votes.

    Most commentators and political analysts agree that it was Renfield’s Tuesday June 6th 2017 attack on an ISIS training camp in Libya earlier this week in which Renfield had illegally sent members of the British Brigade of Gurkhas in and tied explosives to the ISIS members’ tiny testicles that were then blown up after Renfield had appeared to them in holographic form and recited one of the numerous witty poems he’s famed for writing (See https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/06/06/renfields-attack-on-isis-camp-in-libya/ )

    It was this raid that caught the imagination of the British public (and the condemnation by the country’s politically correct elites) in the wake of the Manchester and London terrorist attacks which led to Renfield’s landslide victory in his Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds Constituency says Manchester University political science professor Churchill Thatcher.

    Nonsense, say the membership of the Tewkesbury Sex Addicts and Nymphomaniacs Association, it was Renfield’s call for “greater sexual intercourse among Britons” that led to his overwhelming victory.

    On the evening of Wednesday June 7th earlier this week, British Prime Minister Theresa May was wanting Renfield R. Renfield charged with high treason for his unauthorized use of the British Brigade of Gurkhas in his own personal not officially sanctioned raid on an ISIS training camp (Mrs. May now presides over a hung parliament and a minority government).

    The high treason charge was immediately vetoed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II after Renfield had jumped in and saved one of her beloved Pembroke Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool…”

    “It’s a good thing,” Renfield grinned while reading the Manchester Guardian article on his landslide election victory, “that no one and especially the Queen noticed that I was the one who pushed the corgi in the swimming pool in the first place so I could earn the Queen’s unending gratitude by diving in and rescuing it.”

    Renfield went back to reading the article…

    Renfield will be having a fellow Transhumanist joining him in Parliament.

    Welsh songstress Morgana Fay Lee (who some people claim is an ancient vampiress and the alleged niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay of Arthurian fame) defeated sitting incumbent Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who some people claim is a werewolf) by over 300 votes in the constituency of Newbridge in Wales.

    Renfield R. Renfield and the Welsh Vampiress Morgana will be taking their seats as Transhumanist MPs in the Westminster Parliament sometime in the next few weeks…

    “Wow,” the South African cultural attache Lepardia Marango thought to herself as she read the Manchester Guardian article, “I dated both Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley and Conservative MP Agathor Christie in the past and now both have been defeated by British Transhumanist candidates.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday June 9th
    2017.

    Lepardia Marango
    Lepardia Marango: Did her dating of two British MPs cause the election of two Transhumanists to the UK Parliament?

    Permalink 4 Comments

    Next page »