Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro Solves The Mystery of The Amazon Rainforest Fires

November 30, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro Solves The Mystery of the Amazon Rainforest Fires

Brazil’s President Jair Bolsonaro managed to get a copy of the incomplete report that London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley had given to Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change on who was responsible for setting the Amazon Rainforest fires back in the summer.

Christie and Petley were frightened by the creatures, gods and goddesses and other supernatural beings they encountered in the Amazon Rainforest so they eventually gave up on their investigation.

But that still didn’t stop them from charging a huge exorbitant fee to Tomi for their incomplete services.

Bolsonaro had called a press conference to reveal who was responsible for setting the fires without bothering to read the incomplete report.

Now that he had read it, Bolsonaro realized that he was up Shit Creek without a paddle.

He helped himself to another jar of those delicious Uncle Ernie’s Australian Fruit Gummy Bears that his good friend Donald Trump had sent him and downed several handfuls.

As he reflected, he suddenly recalled a name that his wife Michelle had called out in her sleep last night, “Leonardo.”

Furious, Bolsonaro walked out into the hall, faced the press and accused Hollywood actor Leonardo DiCaprio of “giving money to set the Amazon on fire”.

Foamed Bolsonaro, “This Leonardo DiCaprio is a cool guy, right? Giving money to torch the Amazon.”

. . .

The Norse trickster god Loki watched the Jair Bolsonaro press conference on television.

The idiotic pronouncement gave Loki an idea.

It would certainly make for a wonderful joke if the phantasm that was the spectral ghost ship of the R.M.S. Titanic suddenly made an appearance on the Amazon River.

To do that, he went to see Hades the Greek god of the Underworld to see if the plutocrat would grant a temporary dispensation to the phantasmal shade that was the spectral ghost form of the R.M.S. Titanic to sail down the Amazon River.

Hades granted Loki the request and soon reports of the spectre of the ghostly form of the R.M.S. Titanic going down the Amazon River were being reported and shared on social media.

As Loki walked back chuckling from Hades’ throne room, he walked past a room in Hades’ palace where the ghost of Leonardo da Vinci the famous Renaissance artist, scientist and inventor was boasting to the ghost of one of the Medicis that he had recently paid a nocturnal spectral visit to Michelle Bolsonaro the wife of the current Brazilian President.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 30th
2019.

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Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest

October 7, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest 

London based private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley continued their trek through the Amazon rainforest to see who was responsible for starting the fires there this past summer.

“I miss a pint of good English brown ale at the moment,” said Agathor Christie.

“I miss a nice steaming plate of Welsh rarebit,” answered Magog Rhys Petley.

“I miss all the hallucinogenic plants to be found in my part of the Amazon,” stated their indigenous guide in his native language.

They stumbled upon a clearing in the jungle.

A flying reptile dinosaur flew over them.

“Wow,” said an astonished Agathor Christie, “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was right when he wrote his novel The Lost World about there being a lost world of dinosaurs to be found somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.”

“Now Canadian blogger Dracul Van Helsing will know where to come to eat roast pterodactyl,” noted Magog Rhys Petley who had read the blogger’s Sunshine Blogger award post on one of those rare days when wireless internet was actually working in the Amazon Rainforest.

“That’s not a pterodactyl,” Agathor Christie remarked smugly, “That particular type of pterosaur that just just flew over us and unleashed his droppings on our guide… I’d wager to say that what he’s currently saying in his language are a whole bunch of expletives… that pterosaur is called a Quetzalcoatlus.”

“Well aren’t you the big know it all,” Magog spoke in sarcastic fashion.

“It comes from taking Paleontology as my Science option in University,” Agathor smiled.

Suddenly loud piercing screams came from another part of the clearing.

The trio looked in the direction of the screams and noticed a man dressed in ceremonial robes ripping the hearts out of people with an obsidian knife after they were placed on an altar.

A fierce looking creature then grabbed the hearts and ate them after they were ripped out of the sacrificial victims’ chests.

“What in the name of God is that?” Magog pointed at the fierce looking creature.

“That is the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl,” Agathor Christie once again smiled smugly.

“And how do you know that, all knowing one?” Magog was thinking of punching out his partner’s clock.

“I recognize him from illustrations and drawings,” Agathor continued to smile, “I took Mesoamerican Religions as my Religious Studies option back in University.”

They watched as the priest continued to rip out still beating hearts and gave them to Quetzalcoatl to eat.

“I wonder what Quetzalcoatl is doing in Brazil when he’s supposed to be in Mexico,” Agathor Christie scratched his head.

“Perhaps he downloaded the latest upgraded version of GPS app to his laptop and got hopelessly lost as a result,” Magog suggested.

The priest doing the sacrificing had a short wave radio next to the sacrificial altar on which this song was being played,

Bonnie Tyler singing, 

“Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 7th
2019.

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