Sauerkraut 1, Greek Olives 0

November 4, 2011 at 8:36 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Welsh werewolf Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was back in London after spending a week in an Italian jail for running naked through Pope Benedict XVI’s Inter-Faith Prayer For Peace Conference back on the 27th of last Month.

The Italian judge refused to buy Rhys Petley’s claim that he had been temporarily possessed by the demon Moloch at the time.

The judge asked Rhys Petley, “How can you an atheistic Marxist believe in demons?”.

Magog Rhys Petley had no answer for him.

While taking a taxi through London, he noticed Renfield R. Renfield being released from jail.

Renfield had spent a night in the drunk tank for having sung a Katy Perry song outside Buckingham Palace.

“This world is getting curiouser and curiouser,” he remarked to himself in the back of the taxi.

* * *

Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard said to himself, “This world is getting curiouser and curiouser.”

He had just received an email from the eccentric Interpol agent Peter Whitstable called by some “the Fox Mulder of Interpol” saying that the reason that Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou had scrapped his plans for a referendum on the proposed EU bail-out of Greece and the resulting austerity measures for the country was because the ancient Germanic vampire Wotan had just beaten the Greek vampire Zeus in a game of chess.

Zeus had protested that he lost the match because he was distracted by the short skirted Russian girl who was going around holding placards that announced each round of the chess match.

Such protests fell on Wotan’s deaf ears along with the contents of Zeus’ glass of Greek Ouzo which fell on Wotan’s blind eye.

To be continued.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Of Warlocks and Zeus

November 1, 2011 at 9:51 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable the man known as the Fox Mulder of Interpol was sitting in the bar at the Davenport Hotel in Spokane, Washington having a Bloody Mary.

It was then that he noticed Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“Dracul,” Whitstable called him over.

“Peter,” Van Helsing nodded.

“Say did you hear the rumour around here that some satanic warlock fell down the elevator shaft in this hotel last night and was killed?” Peter sipped his Bloody Mary.

“I heard that,” Dracul nodded, “there seems to be a rash of satanic warlocks falling down hotel elevator shafts in America’s Pacific states this past week.”

“Yes, it’s curious isn’t it?” Whitstable adjusted his tie.

Van Helsing dropped a hotel key into an envelope and sealed it.

“So what are you doing here?” Whitstable asked.

“Oh, just staying here a couple of days and then heading to the Wedgewood Hotel in Vancouver,” Van Helsing answered.

“Say, I hear that the ancient Greek vampire Zeus has been seen in several vicinities across the world recently,” Whitstable remarked.

“Including a TV car commercial for the new Scion High Voltage tC,” Dracul noted.

“What’s his game plan?” Whitstable asked.

“Same game plan as the Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl,” Dracul stated, “hoping to gain the worship of mortal men again and in the case of the sex maniac Zeus particularly the worship of mortal women.”

To be continued.

Permalink Leave a Comment