An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7 international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of A Future VISA Commercial

February 13, 2018 at 10:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of A Future VISA Commercial

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and Dr. Cadbury Rocher were sitting in the Set Enterprises lab 🔬 watching the 2018 Winter Olympics from PyeongChang on TV.

Dr. Rocher once again found himself impressed with the VISA commercials for the Olympics that were magnificently narrated by the superlatively excellent speaking voice of the great actor Morgan Freeman.

His curiosity aroused, Dr. Rocher wondered what VISA commercials of the future might be like.

He asked Michelangelo to use his psychic lobster antennae and see if he could pick up a TV transmission from the future of a future VISA commercial.

Michelangelo raised his lobster antennae and sure enough was able to do so.

The TV commercial from the future showed a striking looking individual with massively hypnotic eyes being cheered by an ecstatically enthusiastic crowd.

Narrative Voice of Morgan Freeman:

VISA is pleased to announce the arrival of the Antichrist on planet Earth.
As we all know “that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name”, VISA recommends that you take the Mark of the Beast when you go down to your nearest financial institution or government licensing bureau to have your biometric ID VISA embedded microchip inserted in your right hand 🤚 or forehead (for those of you who lost your right hand in a physical altercation with a power saw).
The Mark of the Beast… with you… wherever you go…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 13th
2018.

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Haikus About The Age of Aquarius and Its Foreshadowing

March 26, 2014 at 7:09 pm (Commentary, Crime, History, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haikus About The Age of Aquarius and Its Foreshadowing

The 1960s
rock musical Hair sees dawn
Aquarian Age

The summer of love
’67 in San Fran
flowers in their hair

The summer of death
’69 in LA means
there’s blood everywhere

Charles Manson decrees
Helter Skelter is now here
so Sharon Tate dies

August 9th four die
August 10th two die
Manson’s reign rains blood

The hippy era
from free love to bloody death
a dawn has gone wrong

This is the dawning
of the Age Aquarius
flowers bloom then wilt

Love followed by hate
flowers in hair gives way to
knives in hand below

The year 2012
some say Aquarian Age
has begun its run

Charles Manson figure
par excellence waits in wings
the dread Antichrist

-A series of Haikus
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 26th
2014.

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