Qonzilqointec Visits Moscow

October 5, 2022 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec prior to her meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in Moscow.

She was on a diplomatic peace mission for Set Enterprises in London.

Qonzilqointec was close friends with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set himself.

Since most of the satanic Neo-Bolshevik Communist leaders of the western world refused to sit down and talk to the wanna be new Imperial Russian Czar Peter the Great (aka Vladimir Putin) over the war in Ukraine, the threat of global nuclear war was growing bigger every day.

The late former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill himself had once said, “It’s better to jaw jaw than to war war.”

However the satanic leadership of the Western world saw the possibility of billions of people dying in a global nuclear war as the ultimate human sacrifice to the demons they worshipped: Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles.

They either didn’t believe in or worship God but they certainly believed in and worshipped Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles.

The whole damned lot of them.

Emmanuel Macron, Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden etc. etc.

A kink was put in their armour when a G.K. Chesterton quoting and J.R.R. Tolkien reading Christian woman Giorgia Meloni was recently elected Prime Minister of Italy.

The brainless mainstream media in the western world went beserk and was already calling her a Fascist.

She would be demonized along with Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orban by the Baal and Baphomet worshipping journalists in the Western world.

The LGBTQ2s+ and counting community was the New World Order equivalent of the old Brahmin caste of the ancient Hindu caste system while Bible believing Evangelical Protestants and traditional Catholics were the New World Order equivalent of the Untouchables (Dalits) of the ancient Hindu caste system.

Vladimir Putin had Moloch (the demonic twin brother of Baal that was one of the leaders of the demonic quartet that ruled the Western world) as a supernatural advisor.

The new self-proclaimed Peter the Great was unaware however that Moloch was in fact Moloch.

Moloch was appearing to Putin in the guise of Saint Michael the Archangel.

Putin in a recent speech had called the West “openly satanic”.

In reply Biden gave the following statement today:

The Pooper-In-Chief approached the podium as the members of the brainless mainstream media stood.

Before the press conference, the “non-satanic” mainstream media members had enjoyed feasting on a buffet of Marina Abramovic’s Kentucky Fried Humans that had been cooked up and prepared by the White House kitchen culinary staff.

Biden stood in front of the blackened hearts of the White House Press Corps.

“My fellow Americans,” Biden stated, “I want to make this perfectly clear. I am not a Satanist.”

He then raised his arms with two fingers forming a V on each hand and shook the jowls on his face in Richard M. Nixon style fashion.

Behind him stood Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles applauding vigourously.

The ghost of Richard M. Nixon’s dog Checkers then appeared on stage, walked over to Biden, raised his right leg and peed all over Biden’s left foot.

“Interesting,” Qonzilqointec said aloud as she watched the press conference on television from her Moscow hotel room.

There was a knock on the door.

It was the Kremlin chauffeur here to pick Qonzilqointec up to drive her to the Kremlin.

To begin diplomatic talks with Putin on behalf of the West.

On behalf of Set Enterprises.

Since most of the governments of the Western world refused to talk to Putin preferrng the horror and human sacrifice of global nuclear war.

As Qonzilqointec went to talk to Putin, Dr. Anthony Fauci was already on the phone talking to Bill Gates on the possibility of a post-nuclear zombie apocalypse scenario.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 5th
2022.

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Athelstan The Valet Listens To Portions of Renfield’s Podcast

September 22, 2022 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera listens to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

She was horrified by the possibility that Russian President Vladimir Putin might launch a nuclear attack on the West.

Renfield seemed to have insider information from Russia as well as knowing the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima (whose text the Vatican claimed to have released back in 2000 but they lied. They only released a vision associated with the secret not the secret itself).

Hera decided she must do something.

She didn’t want to see the destruction of planet Earth.

She got in touch with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I.

Theodora had been turned into a vampiress on June 28th 548 AD by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Otherwise Theodora would have died from cancer.

“Hello,” Theodora picked up her phone at her estate in Athens, Greece.

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was not listening to Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

He was sniffing the needles on his marijuana smoking cactus planet which inhaled marijuana cigarettes and then exhaled marijuana smoke.

Biden believed the cactus needles were the hair of The Woman In Green.

The Woman In Green was the name of a 1945 Universal Pictures Sherlock Holmes film with Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson that he watched on late night television last night.

“Mr. President,” one of his aides entered the Oval Office.

“Ow,” Joe pricked his nose on a cactus needle, “What is it?”.

“The wealthy residents of Martha’s Vineyard are once again complaining about immigrants being sent there,” his aide said.

“Who’s sending immigrants this time?” Biden wiped his nose with a used diaper, “Ron DeSantis or Greg Abbot?”.

“Greg Abbott the Governor of Texas,” his aide answered, “But this recent batch of immigrants are different. These are zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors recently raised from the dead in Mexico by a South African witch doctor at the behest of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec who’s the goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (whom Utah Sen. Mitt Romney being Mormon thinks is the person of Jesus Christ when he visited the Americas according to Mormon teaching).”

“Why did Qonzilqointec send these zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors across the Mexico-U.S. border anyways?” Biden asked. “And does this Qonzilqointec have nice hair? Is it worth sniffing?”.

“Qonzilqointec is very beautiful, she does have nice hair and it probably is worth sniffing,” his aide explained.

“This new King Charles III of England was quite cranky when I sniffed the flowers on his mother’s coffin quite intently as the cameras looked away,” Biden recalled, “He asked me what the Hell I was doing? It was quite sad that it was a closed casket funeral. I quite enjoyed sniffing Her Majesty’s hair when she was alive. I wonder if…”

“Mr. President, to answer your 1st question,” his aide interjected, “The reason Qonzilqointec sent these living dead Aztec warriors across the border was to re-annex parts of the U.S. to a revived Aztec Empire.”

“But I don’t think Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts was ever part of the Aztec Empire,” Joe Biden reflected.

“It is now,” another aide entered the room.

. . .

Athelstan the butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was doing his daily housecleaning duties around the Set Estate mansion.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who lived in the mansion) was doing his Thursday night podcast from his bedroom.

Athelstan occasionally listened in before going on to his next cleaning job.

As he passed the room, he heard Renfield say, “They are a bunch of Belgian waffles who have fruits all over them…”

“Is Renfield talking about breakfast?” Athelstan asked Amadeus Emanon as he walked by.

“No,” Athelstan shook his head, “I think he’s talking about the Belgian Conference of (supposedly) Catholic Bishops who have voted to approve blessing gay unions.”

Athelstan dusted Set’s statue of Napoleon.

He walked by Renfield’s room where he heard Renfield say, “The Vatican is a Communist craphole…”

When he finished dusting Set’s nude statue of Pauline Borghese as Venus Victrix, he passed Renfield’s room again where Renfield asked, “What does Joe Biden have in common with the Vatican?”.

When he had finished dusting the statue of Queen Cleopatra, again he passed Renfield’s room where Renfield said, “Meanwhile in other news, U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris is bitching that a group of zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors have taken over her house…”

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday September 22nd
2022.

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Qonzilqointec’s Plan of Action

August 26, 2022 at 10:15 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec at a critical point along the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was causing massive distraction among U.S. border patrol agents in Texas.

As the eyes of Texas were upon Qonzilqointec (who was the spiritual goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl), 50,000 Aztec warriors from the 15th Century (who had been raised from the dead by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo) crossed the U.S.-Mexico border into Texas.

Their mission was to take back all of the southwestern U.S. that had once belonged to Mexico.

Meanwhile in Washington D.C., senile old fool Joe Biden was telling his guests at a White House dinner that the greatest threat to the U.S. was from Russia.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday August 26th
2022.

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Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Not Impressed With Nancy Pelosi

June 27, 2022 at 10:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been invited to the swearing-in ceremony of Rep. Mayra Flores (Republican- Texas 34th Congressional District) the first Mexican-born woman to be elected to the U.S. House of Representatives.

Rep. Flores had won a June 14th Special Election in the district (the Democratic incumbent had resigned his seat) giving Republicans control of a house seat long held by Democrats.

Rep. Flores’ swearing-in had happened last Tuesday June 21st 2022.

During the swearing-in ceremony, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had elbowed Rep. Flores’ young daughter to the side during a photo-op.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was definitely not impressed with Nancy Pelosi’s actions.

“What a bitch,” Qonzilqointec was heard to say.

“Do you mean witch?” A reporter asked.

“Both,” Qonzilqointec answered.

In a podcast, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had remarked, “If the world wasn’t aware what a scumbag Nancy Pelosi is before, it should be aware of it now.”

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was sitting at his Oval Office desk and wondering when the Age of Aquarius would begin.

“Remember that late 1960s rock musical Hair had a song about the dawning of the Age of Aquarius,” Biden reminisced to his pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia, “When is the Age of Aquarius supposed to begin? Or has it begun already? Or will it begin soon?”.

Sweet Dementia did not answer but continued to exhale marijuana smoke.

“Speaking of hair,” Biden mused aloud, “I wonder what a vampiress’ hair smells like?”.

“You’re never going to find out, you pervert,” a vampire bat commented as it flew by the Oval Office window.

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec used the Nikola Tesla invented teleporter hidden in plain sight on top of the Washington Monument Obelisk to teleport to Rome.

She landed at the top of the Vatican Obelisk in Rome and then flew to the Vatican apartments of Samhain Cardinal Salaman with whom she had a pre-arranged meeting.

“What is it you wish to see me about?” Qonzilqointec inquired.

“Do you know any demons?” Samhain Cardinal Salaman asked.

“I know a few,” Qonzilqointec nodded, “Why do you ask?”.

“Because Pope Francis in his working Vatican Synod document entitled Walking Together On Synodality says “The merciful heart loves demons” and I’d like to know what demons think of this new papal pronouncement,” Cardinal Salaman explained.

Outside the Vatican apartment window of Samhain Cardinal Salaman, the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus sang (while the little green frog Nimrod played the harmonica), “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius…”

“Where’s the sunshine?” sang an evil and stupid vampire named Count Justin who burst into flames when the Cosmos answered his musical request.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 22nd
2022.

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Hagia Sophia, Erdogan’s Surprise and Qonzilqointec

July 24, 2020 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“Satan’s target is the Sacrifice of the Mass and the Real Presence of Jesus in the Consecrated Host.”
-Cardinal Robert Sarah of Guinea

Raphael du Lac was an intelligence operative for a military commander.

He recorded video on his smart phone of the Friday prayer service at Hagia Sophia which had just been converted back into a mosque by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire.

That night in an Istanbul cafe, Raphael showed the video recordings to his military commander Vlad III of Wallachia aka Vlad Tepes aka Vlad the Impaler.

But better known to the world as Prince Dracula.

Prince Dracula allied with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora against Erdogan.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan went to bed this Friday evening feeling immensely pleased with himself.

He read a congratulatory message from Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

Xi said that he had instructed that the Hagia Sophia Friday prayer service (which was livestreamed as it happened) be shown on People’s Republic of China state television.

What a splendid fellow this Xi is, Erdogan thought to himself as he washed his Chinese tea down his throat with a Turkish coffee.

The Turkish President had also received an envelope sent to him by British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

What would Renfield be sending him, Erdogan wondered as he opened the envelope.

It was an illuminated medieval manuscript page.

Canto XXVIII of The Inferno of Dante’s Divine Comedy.

The medieval writing was written in Latin.

Erdogan’s knowledge of Latin was miniscule.

Non-existent in fact.

The only person whose knowledge of Latin was possibly worse than his was Pope Francis.

Erdogan immediately sent for a Latin scholar to translate Canto XXVIII of The Inferno of Dante’s Divine Comedy.

When the scholar translated the passage, Erdogan hit the roof.

Looking up at the night sky and the huge assembling mass of bats through the now empty hole in the ceiling, Erdogan vowed to kill Renfield.

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Rome on a quiet July evening.

She walked past a near empty cafe where the only customer sitting on the sidewalk was a man with a laptop listening to a Renfield R. Renfield podcast.

She heard Renfield’s voice saying, “I’m not going to ask the question what sort of perverted prophet would have sexual relations with a six year old girl child bride? No, I’m not going to mention that…”

Qonzilqointec continued walking down the street.

She paused to look in the distance at Saint Peter’s Basilica:

Just as the Crescent Moon now formally flew above the Hagia Sophia, soon she realized it would only be a matter of time before the Red Star formally flew over the Vatican.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 24th
2020.

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Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

March 4, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Lamb Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec living as a vampiric immortal isn’t worried about contracting the Coronavirus

The same was not true of the state of California where after only one death, the governor had declared a State of Emergency over the Coronavirus.

Outside a COSTCO store in the State of California, a long line up of people were waiting to rush in to buy emergency food supplies and prepping items as well as surgical face masks and bottles of hand sanitizer (even though the latter items had already been sold out).

A man dressed in American Revolutionary War era attire and riding a horse was going throughout the huge COSTCO parking lot and shouting in Paul Revere like fashion, “The Coronavirus is coming. The Coronavirus is coming.”

On a nearby city street, a woman dressed in a chicken costume with what appeared to be a small cloud encircling her chicken head was busy shouting, “The Coronavirus is falling. The Coronavirus is falling.”

Inside the COSTCO store, angered customers were shouting over the fact that all surgical face masks had been sold out and by their attitude were thus totally ignoring the U.S. Surgeon-General’s recent request that the U.S. general public refrain from buying surgical face masks.

At the cigarette counter, there were long line ups of people waiting to buy cigarettes thus totally ignoring a U.S. Surgeon-General’s report from the early 1960s that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer.

Meanwhile back in the surgical face mask aisle, the store manager announced that there was a supply of Halloween face masks that had been found and were now available in the Toy Department.

The manager was trampled and killed in the subsequent rush over to the Toy Department.

Two women eventually got into a huge fight over the last Halloween mask available -an Al Gore mask from the year 2000 with a Made In Florida dangling chad hanging from his mouth.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Pope Francis was calling for algor-ethics at a Vatican Conference On Ethics In Algorithms and The Future of AI (Artificial Intelligence).

Speeding down a California freeway while being chased by a group of sinister government Men In Black was a Japanese female sex robot called Akira who was totally ignoring Pope Francis’ call for algor-ethics as she put a spiked high-heeled pedal to the metal and hit the gas on her huge carbon emissions polluting hummer.

Her front seat partner – a man called Paul- who was dressed up the way Jesus of Nazareth might look in a church Easter Passion play- was desperately reading a book called Re-Imagining Mind Control For Dummies.

In the back seat, a professorial looking type (who was really an ET from outer space) named Lassetter was taking huge swigs from a phallus shaped bottle of whisky.
Sitting next to him was an Afghan War vet named Billy-Bob who was coming down with a severe case of PTSD while looking at the stock market trading app on his smartphone and seeing how bad the market was falling and share prices were diving over the latest Coronavirus fears.

Watching comfortably the highway car chase on television in his living room at home was America’s leading (and only) Irish Jewish science-fiction writer of note – George Finneganburg.

Said an astounded George Finneganburg, “My Sci-Fi novel is really quite literally coming to life in this particular California car chase.”

. . .

Standing in front of a statue of Baphomet whose feet were covered by aborted babies, Senate Minority leader Sen. Chuck Schumer of New York threatened U.S. Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh if they upheld a pro-life law from Louisiana.

“I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price,” Schumer thundered into the microphone as bats, locusts and scorpions flew out of his mouth while he spoke.

The ghost of Adolf Eichmann (dispensatationally released from Tartarus at the requests of the demons Baal and Baphomet) applauded in the background.

. . .

Meanwhile on Mount Moriah (also known as the Temple Mount) the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was also known as the Lady Moriah) was directing a whirlwind to blow around the Mount.

A few weeks earlier the ancient gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and the legs were two slithering serpents) had approached some Kabbalistic rabbis who belonged to the 21st Century Sanhedrin and told them to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount for Passover this year for the first time in 2000 years.

“To sacrifice a paschal lamb now will show that the imposter so-called Christ Jesus of Nazareth was not the Paschal Lamb sacrificed for all time,” Abraxas told the cheering rabbis.

A request for a permit from the Israeli government to perform the ceremony was then asked by the Sanhedrin.

Today at the Vatican, the gnostic god Abraxas appeared to the Communist and homosexual predatory Cardinals who now ran the Vatican under Pope Francis and told them his idea.

The pro-Francis group of Cardinals applauded since they didn’t really believe that Jesus of Nazareth was truly God Incarnate in the flesh never mind being the ultimate and final Paschal Lamb sacrifice for sin.

. . .

Now sporting blue hair, the Vietnamese vampiress and notably unique Shakespearian actress Ho Babylon Minh who would be playing a voodoo queen in a New Orleans style zombie and voodoo themed adaptation of Shakespeare’s MacBeth slated for tonight at the Pantages Theatre (directed by the ghost of Orson Welles) showed up in her car outside the doors of the theatre.

On his way into the show for tonight’s performance, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was asked about yesterday’s Super Tuesday primary in the U.S.

“Does this mean the end of Trotskyite Marxist Bernie Sander’s Presidential aspirations?” A member of the Press asked the MP.

“Well,” Renfield replied as he carried a silver handled walking stick, “Given the fact that we are all living in extremely surreal times (surreal as in a Salvador Dali painting of Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie dressed as Cleopatra and embracing a giant asp), we must realize anything can happen. Bernie Sanders not only winning the Democratic nomination but winning the Presidency. In these surreal times, expect the Unexpected.”

Renfield kicked a snake with a rooster’s head out of the way as he entered the theatre.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 4th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

February 4, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Music, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in London.

She was to meet her date Dracul Van Helsing this evening to attend the Royal Opera House performance of Georges Bizet’s Carmen.

Interestingly enough, the Bavarian and Austro-Hungarian goat demon Krampus (who had been down in Cornwall visiting his father’s grave) had had tickets to attend this evening’s performance of Carmen.

But at the last minute, the goat demon had come down with a severe allergy to the melody and tune of the song Habanera that Carmen sings in Act 1.

And that was his favourite part of the whole opera so Krampus was unable to attend.

He left his ticket at the box office so some last minute person could buy it.

The ticket was purchased by Dr. Cadbury Rocher who had just finished his final touches on the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant Magical Mystery Tour that was to be delivered to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul talked to Dr. Rocher in the lobby prior to curtain call.

They discussed the Iowa caucus which turned out to be a public relations disaster for the U.S. Democratic Party.

The app that was supposed to give the results to the State Committee had failed.

“I was just talking to Renfield about this,” Dr. Rocher said to the Aztec vampiress and Van Helsing referring to the British MP who served on the UK House of Commons Intelligence and Foreign Affairs Committee, “and he’s already determined what happened. Apparently the app was hacked by the billionaire Egyptian vampire Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore, Boris Johnson’s pet Jack Russell-cross dog Dilyn and a couple of Her Majesty the Queen’s Welsh corgis.”

“Who did the Iowa Democrats get to develop this app for them?” Dracul inquired.

“Apparently some nutty Australian who calls himself Uncle Ernie,” Rocher replied, “who interestingly enough was arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday for trying to enter the country illegally. To say nothing of showing up at airport Customs in the nude.”

The Royal Opera House announcer announced that this evening’s performance would start in 5 minutes.

The three headed into the auditorium to take their seats.

Krampus who was listening to the performance on the radio while taking a bath in his hotel room broke into a severe case of hives when the lead female singer playing Carmen started singing Habanera.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 4th
2020

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Shakespeare Said It Best: All’s Well That Ends Well

November 29, 2019 at 11:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Shakespeare Said It Best: All’s Well That Ends Well

“I wonder why Trump spent Thanksgiving in Afghanistan?” Amadeus asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“It was apparently decided at a meeting of the U.S. National Security Council this past Wednesday night,” Renfield explained, “They thought it would be safer for Trump to be in Afghanistan than for him to be dropping turkeys from a dirigible on to the heads of innocent passers-by who were visiting the Lincoln Memorial.”

“Why would hurling turkeys from a dirigible be a problem?” Amadeus asked as he ate his turkey sandwich and drank his Ocean Spray Cranberry Cocktail.

“You do know turkeys can’t fly, don’t you?” Renfield with a raised eyebrow asked Amadeus.

“They can’t?” Amadeus stopped eating his turkey sandwich momentarily.

“No,” Renfield snarled.

“Oh,” Amadeus answered with his usual brilliant grasp of the situation that would have sent legendary detective Sherlock Holmes hurling himself in exasperation from the 2nd floor window of 221B Baker Street had Amadeus lived with Holmes rather than Watson.

Renfield’s smart phone went off.

The MP talked and then said, “That’s very good news, Dr. Rocher. Thanks for calling.”

“What was Dr. Cadbury Rocher phoning about?” Amadeus asked as he spilled Cranberry Cocktail all over his white shirt.

“Dr. Rocher has been talking to a Sydney Australia based billionaire named Inn Lu the past week,” Renfield said, “According to Inn Lu, yesterday was an auspicious time mathematically speaking for time travellers to travel back in time and time travel back to Xinjiang China a few months ago and save the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever from being murdered on Xi Jinping’s orders. Unfortunately our two volunteer time travellers the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Dracul Van Helsing couldn’t use the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland because that’s currently undergoing maintenance repairs as a result of the Hindu god Shiva taking disco dance lessons in the tunnel from John Travolta while William Shatner and those members of the Bee Gees who are still alive sang Saturday Night Fever songs backwards. Fortunately Set Enterprises owns a small working time tunnel in the Austrian Alps – the same locale used in the filming of The Sound of Music where ice glaciers and snow fields melted at the melodious voice of Julie Andrews as Maria dancing in the meadows. Dracul and Qonzilqointec had taken a small cactus from the Joshua Tree National Park north of Palm Springs California and substituted it for Strawberry Fields Forever in his holding cell in the re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in Xinjiang only hours after the pot smoking cactus had told his PRC captors “Better dead than red” and Xi Jinping had given the orders for Strawberry Fields Forever’s wish to come true. So it was actually a Palm Springs north socialite cactus who was butchered by Mei-ling Manchu while Ho Babylon Minh video recorded it for Justin Trudeau. Strawberry Fields Forever is now back in the present and currently alive and well while a slice of a wealthy Palm Springs north socialite cactus is now in the possession of Xi Jinping’s gardener.”

“That’s wonderful news,” Amadeus took off his cranberry cocktail laced white shirt just as the matronly middle aged woman who ran the Tewkesbury Bed and Breakfast entered the room.

The sight of Amadeus with his shirt off caused the woman to swoon like a school girl and buckle at the knees and then collapse on to the floor.

“Now look what you’ve done!” Renfield cried out to Amadeus.

“Does this mean we’re not going to get scones and biscuits for high tea?” Amadeus asked.

Meanwhile a Set Enterprises pterodactyl drone flew to Australia to deliver the news to the pot smoking cacti twins Material Girl and Mellow Yellow that their father Strawberry Fields Forever was in fact still alive.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 29th
2019.

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Birthday

November 28, 2019 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Life, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Birthday

His birthday fell on U.S. Thanksgiving this year.

And he was Canadian.

So his birthday would be being marked south of the border.

Rita Hayworth was his favourite actress.

Although he had daydreamed about her, she had never appeared in any of his dreams as he slept.

Possibly the new year of his life was off to a good start as he had dreamed about her in the early morning.

In his dream, he had been a detective.

And he had been called in with his cousins to solve a mystery of a rock music band who had mysteriously disappeared on his uncle’s farm.

And Rita Hayworth was his assistant who helped him solve the mystery.

Or at least he assumed he had solved the mystery.

He woke up just as he dreamed he was kissing her.

But still that was off to a good start.

Usually he always woke up before he got the chance to kiss any beautiful woman who appeared in his dream.

He walked outside to shovel the snow.

As a great deal of snow had fallen over night.

As he walked down the steps of the house where he rented a basement room, he noticed rabbit tracks in the snow around the front yard.

That was always a good sign for a new year of life.

As rabbits always made him think of his father who had been born in the Chinese zodiac year of the Rabbit.

. . .

Xi Jinping the paramount leader of China wondered who this mysterious Mr. Inn Lu was in Sydney Australia who was hiding a PRC (People’s Republic of China) Ministry of State Security intelligence defector named Wang in one of his Sydney safe houses.

Wang defected with the help of another Ministry of State Security operative the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh).

Ho herself then went and defected to Taiwan.

Xi tried to get ahold of another Ministry of State Security official the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu to try to track down both defectors.

But she didn’t seem to be answering her Huawei smart phone.

. . .

“Well, Mei-ling,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his vampiress friend from Beijing, “What have you come to tell me?”.

“Well,” Mei-ling licked her vampiress incisors with her tongue, “I’ve decided to overthrow China’s megalomaniac totalitarian despot Xi Jinping and make myself Empress of China.”

“An excellent idea,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “what can I do to help?”.

. . .

Inside a time tunnel in a mountain hideout, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to set out with her companion:

“Well, Dracul,” she asked Van Helsing, “are you ready to begin our mission?”.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday November 28th
2019.

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Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec

September 25, 2019 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec 

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had to return to the Westminster House of Commons today after Britain’s Supreme Court ruled yesterday that his proroguing Parliament for 5 weeks was illegal.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield the United Kingdom’s Deputy Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering (and therefore a member of Johnson’s cabinet) was giving his friend Amadeus Emanon a run down of today’s parliamentary brawls and name calling.

“The Opposition needless to say,” but Renfield said it anyway, “acted like so much braying asses. It seemed that Labour MPs, Liberal Democratic MPs and Scottish Nationalist Party MPs were having a contest to see who could do the best facial impersonation of Swedish teen climate activist Grumpy Greta Thunberg. Simon Cowell would have had a hard time trying to judge a winner. Labour MPs were trying to outdo U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden in showing signs of advanced senility. The Scottish Nationalist Party showed why Scottish independence was so overwhelmingly rejected in the 2014 referendum as the Scots no doubt didn’t want this gang of bozos to be the leaders of their independent nation. The British Liberal Democrats looked like walking advertisements for the Before pictures in posters for an Enema Relief Medical Clinic. It made one wish this was the Taiwanese Parliament where one could use one’s fists and knock the living daylights out of one’s opponents.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Israel, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a telephone conversation with his most ardent supporter in the deep state of the Mossad intelligence service the operative known as Star of Azazel.

“Now that the country’s President Reuvin Rivlin has asked me to stay on as Prime Minister and given me first shot at trying to form a coalition government in the state,” Netanyahu drank a glass of wine in celebration, “I hope you will proceed to do everything possible in ensuring that certain external circumstances outside the country will emerge in such a way as to get other parties to support me when Israel is faced with such a dire external threat.”

Star of Azazel put aside the book of Kabbalistic black magic wizardry and sorcery he had been reading when Netanyahu called and looked at his guests Ares the Greek god of war, Thor the Norse god of thunder and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war who were in his living room.

“We’re working on that, Mr. Prime Minister,” Star of Azazel said before ending the phone call.

Azazel looked at Morrigan who was the most intelligent of the three deities present in the room.

“I’m sure more drones can be sent flying into Saudi Aramco oil refineries,” Morrigan smiled as she smoothed her dress, “and plenty of our agents in Foreign Affairs Ministries and Departments throughout the world can point fingers at Iran.”

Star of Azazel smiled and drank a toast, “Mazel Tov.”

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec did an Irish jig when she completed dressing prior to going down to the UN General Assembly to give a speech on Climate Change.

“Global warming will definitely hit the UN tonight,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing said when he saw what she was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 25th
2019.

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