The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca

March 23, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca 

Sexual predatory Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein was showering by himself in a shower at the Wende Correctional Facility near Buffalo, New York.

He suddenly dropped the soap.

He bent over to pick it up.

An 8 foot tall giant mammalian bat with the head of a Thanatotheristes (the name meant Reaper of Death in Greek and referred to a new species of T-Rex that had been discovered 10 years ago in the Western Canadian province of Alberta) pulled out his phallus (which was a living cobra snake) from the pants of the extra tall extra large sized waterproof Armani suit he was wearing and sodomized Weinstein in the rear end as he was bending over.

“Where the Hell did you come from?” Asked a surprised Weinstein.

“From Hell,” the strange hybrid answered, “I’m the demon of the Covid-19 Coronavirus.”

“That’s Chinese virus,” a small hybrid creature who was part weasel and part worm and who was a staunch Donald Trump supporter remarked as he crawled across the prison shower room floor.

The weasel worm hybrid was crushed by the bat body Thanatotheristes headed cobra phallic Covid-19 Coronavirus demon.

Later the news media reported that Weinstein had come down with the Coronavirus.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was looking into his pot smoking late Victorian/early Edwardian antique mirror when suddenly the image of Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking mirrors appeared to him.

Spoke Tezcatlipoca, “Tomorrow as you bring forth emergency legislation to deal with the financial and economic fallout from the Coronavirus crisis, I want you to include Emergency Financial Powers Legislation that will give your Finance Minister Bill Morneau power to govern the economy by dictatorial fiat – raise taxes, lower taxes, get rid of old taxes, bring in new taxes- without needing the approval of the Canadian Parliament beforehand. Grant him this power until December 2021.”

“Why should I do that?” Inquired a stunned Justin.

“Just do it,”” Tezcatlipoca blew great plumes of smoke as he blew his top.

“All right,” answered Justin meekly.

. . .

The disembodied head of the Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (who had flames of fire emerging from the silver gray locks of hair on his head) was writing a poem on the walls of a subway station in Moscow, Russia.

The poem was being written for him by a severed hand that had been burnt charcoal black.

The severed hand dubbed the Black Hand had once belonged to the Norse god Tyr but had been bitten off by the fierce Norse wolf Fenrir when Tyr bound him.

The hand had been burnt a charcoal black after the Battle of Kosovo had been fought between the Serbian Prince Lazar and the Ottoman Turks on June 15th 1389 when a group of surviving warriors had tried to cook dinner for themselves.

The hand in the fire, after it had been burnt a charcoal black, crawled away.

Teilhard directed the Black Hand to write to the Coronavirus,

“Oh, what a beautiful virus you are, you are,
What a beautiful virus you are,
Thou art the Alpha Point,
The virus that attacked the first one-celled organism starting the whole process of Darwinian evolution,
And it turns out, thou art the Omega Point as well 
The total sum of Christ Consciousness 
Bringing forth Pachamama’s revenge upon humanity.
Amen.”

When the moving finger of the Black Hand wrote and the eyes of disembodied head Teilhard wept tears of joy, the Jesuit’s mouth cackled in laughter.

Seconds later, a cream pie with Holy Water in it was thrown in his face.

A group of Harvey Wallbanger drinking Moscow policemen swore to their superiors afterwards that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears had done it.

. . .

Israel’s Health Minister Yaakov Litzman, when recently asked about the Coronavirus in Israel, had replied that Moshiach (the Jewish Messiah) would arrive before Passover this year and save the entire world.

Passover this year begins on Wednesday April 8th.

Meanwhile the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and whose legs were two slithering serpents) had appeared to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and asked him to grant the recently formed Israeli Sanhedrin permission to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount on Passover for the first time in 2000 years.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday March 23rd
2020.

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Pan Goatee’s Shopping Trip Ends In Beheadings

August 13, 2018 at 10:47 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Shopping Trip Ends In Beheadings

DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking down an aisle when a fat ugly blimp of a high school girl approached him.

He immediately beheaded the fat ugly creature.

The girl’s father gasped.

Pan Goatee walked up to the man, “I presume you’re the degenerate responsible for producing that botched job of sexual intercourse.”

He likewise beheaded the fat ugly blimp’s father.

He then turned his attention to the fat ugly teen blimp’s more beautiful sister and the beheaded male shopper’s younger daughter.

“You’re pretty,” Pan Goatee admitted, “but just on the off chance you’re carrying your father or mother’s ugly gene, I have to do this for the aesthetic future of the world. I believe pre-emptive strike was the term George W. Bush used.”

He cut off the pretty girl’s head.

. . .

Donald Trump sat at his desk in the Oval Office shampooing his hair with a blow torch and wondered how anyone could possibly question his sanity.

Like the latest disgruntled former White House staffer had done in a book she had just published.

Suddenly a charcoal burnt Black Hand appeared on the desk in front of him and communicated telepathically with the sitting U.S. President.

Trump stood up and nodded, “I understand and will do just what you suggest.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal wearing a scarlet red evening dress covered with a charcoal black mantle was standing on a rock at the Cova da Iria in Fatima, Portugal 🇵🇹.

She was waiting for three adult male transgendered goatherds to show up at 12 noon as she had an important message to give them.

She checked the sundial watch on her wrist at 2:30 🕝 PM and decided to give up waiting.

Unbeknownst to her, the 3 goatherds had been strangled by a Portuguese professional arm wrestler and amateur phrenologist who had recently come down with food poisoning after eating a carton of bad feta cheese that he had purchased.

The mishap caused him to be disqualified from the World Championships after he had thrown up on both his opponents and the tournament judges.

Allatallahbel then ascended into the air and magically transported herself to the Vatican in Rome where she occupied the luxury papal apartment that Pope Francis had refused to occupy from the start of his Pontificate (humbly choosing to occupy one of the luxury guest rooms instead).

While there, she received a fax on her fax machine.

The fax was of a treaty for a proposed new Axis of Evil to be signed between her and Santa Muerte (the Mexican female spectral figure of Saint Death who was actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag) and Q-Amon the forgotten but literally immortal Egyptian Pharaoh who was the secret hand behind the Columbian drug cartels.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 13th
2018.

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Encore of The Black Hand

April 1, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

A vampire novel chapter I wrote 4 years ago this month.

Dracul Van Helsing

The Black Hand

It was St. Vitus’ Day June 15th 1389. The army of Serbian Prince Lazar was battling the Ottoman Turkish Army of Sultan Murad I to decide the fate of Kosovo and Serbia. Whether Kosovo and the Serbs would be ruled by Serbs or whether they would be ruled by the Ottomans.

The battle was known to history as the Battle of Kosovo. It was also called the Battle of Kosovo Field as well as the Battle of Blackbird’s Field.

The bulk of both armies were wiped out in the battle. Both Prince Lazar and Sultan Murad lost their lives in it.

But the Serbian Army had pretty well suffered the most casualties so that the end result in the following years was that all of the Serbian Principalities would become vassals of the Ottoman Empire.

During the battle after his master was slain, Prince Lazar’s right hand…

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The Feast of The Beast 2018

March 23, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Feast of The Beast 2018

Desiree was 16 years old.

She obviously did not pay much attention to current Hollywood news.

Because while walking the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a limousine pulled up.

The limousine’s back window rolled down and an older man- a well known Hollywood actor- invited her into the limo for a ride.

If she knew her Hollywood news, she’d have realized that Hollywood was crawling with a lot of perverts.

Later Desiree in her blue mini dress found herself tied to a sacrificial altar beneath a statue of the Baphomet inside the Hollywood actor’s mansion.

“What are you doing?” Desiree shouted.

“I’m sacrificing you to Baphomet,” the actor replied and lowered his knife and slit her throat and did just that.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump called for his English butler and valet.

“What is it, sir?” Lexington asked.

“A charcoal burnt human hand just crawled across the floor by itself,” Trump said.

“No need to worry, sir,” Lexington went to the closet, “I’ll use a Swiffer Wet Jet to wash the floor.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Trump reflected, “and find out whose hand it is. I’m going to fire that person in a tweet.”

. . .

Two scientists were conducting an evening test at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

One scientist remarked to the other, “That seems to be a very realistic looking statue of Shiva the Transformer by the door.”

“Yes, it is,” the other scientist agreed.

Suddenly there was an explosion 💥 from the tunnel tube.

A huge hole opened up and out walked the multi armed goddess Kali.

She went up and kissed the statue of Shiva.

“I think,” said the scientist to his fellow researcher, “the next time they decide to erect the statue of a god on Collider grounds, they better hire a sculptor who specializes in a more abstract form of sculpture.”

. . .

Prince Vlad Dracula, the Byzantine Vampiress Theodora (who was the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Emperor Justinian in her mortal life) and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of The Golem had just captured a group of Turkish officers who were leading Turkish troops against their allies the Kurds.

“I think we should hand these Turkish officers over to British MP Renfield R. Renfield for interrogation,” said Dracula.

“I agree,” Theodora started wiping the blood off her gown with a towel soaked in Tide laundry detergent.

“Renfield can be quite ruthless in his interrogations,” noted the Controller of The Golem.

Theodora played on her iPhone a recent speech given by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in which he called on the 57 member state Organization of The Islamic Conference to unite as one army and destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱.

“Hand them over to Renfield,” the Controller agreed.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was out deer 🦌 hunting on a country estate just north of Moscow.

Putin stumbled across what he thought was a stag with a very impressive set of antlers.

And in one way it was.

For the stag was actually Cernunnos the horned Celtic god of animals and the underworld.

Cernunnos stood up on its hind legs and with a crossbow it carried in its forearms it fired an arrow which moved with rapid lightning speed.

The arrow struck Putin in the forehead and the Russian leader fell to the ground.

Later at the nearby dacha where Putin was taken, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was awakened and informed what happened.

“A stag with a rapid firing crossbow did this, you say?” She asked one of Putin’s fellow hunters who nodded, “That was no ordinary stag. That was Cernunnos the horned god of the Celtic pantheon. The arrow was poison tipped and the poison is now in Putin’s bloodstream. I must suck all the blood out and replace it with my own in order for him to live.”

“But how will you live then?” Asked the bodyguard.

“Thank you for your sacrifice for your Motherland and your leader,” Lilith bit him on the neck and drained all his blood which she then spit out and put in a large glass container and put in the freezer for safekeeping.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 23rd
2018.

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Robur The Conquerer II and The Black Hand

February 1, 2017 at 11:58 am (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The individual they called Robur the Conquerer II (who was a genetic clone of Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike- created in a Knoxville Tennessee genetics lab by Operation Paperclip Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm back in 1966) sailed in his airship The Albatross II high above Quebec City, Canada.

And down in the streets of Quebec City, a severed charcoal burnt Black Hand crawled along the cobbled pavements clutching a blood stained Swastika flag.

–A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 30th
2017.

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The Black Hand In Rome: A Poem

November 21, 2016 at 5:30 pm (Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

The Black Hand In Rome: A Poem

Around her streets, the Black Hand crawls
It stops in to look at the Colosseum walls
Hearing the screams of ancient victims past
The Black Hand thinks it quite the blast
And crawls into the Vatican’s sacred halls
seeking to spread Death’s dark palls
The Cardinal called JM welcomed him in
Saying gleefully, let the diabolical spells begin.

-A horror poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 21st
2016.

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Turning and Turning In The Widening Gyre

February 26, 2016 at 9:53 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Turning And Turning In The Widening Gyre

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion watching the BBC World News on television.

Said the announcer, “A woman who was smuggling a half pound of cocaine in her vagina through New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport has been arrested…”

“Wow,” said Renfield, “that gives a whole new meaning to the term… crack cocaine.”

. . .

The secret service agent was on his smart phone to a police buddy of his in New York.

Said his police buddy on the line, “And before you know it, that little pussy was singing like a canary…”

“Things go better with Coke,” a radio commercial played in the background.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was positively beaming as he stood behind Donald Trump up on the platform having just given his endorsement.

Thought Christie to himself, “I do hope now that the Donald will return the favour and name me his running mate…”

Meanwhile back in New York, an airport drug sniffing dog was now having the mother of all orgasms.

“Oh God,” said his handler, “I’m really going to have to wash my leg thoroughly when I get home. Never have I seen Bruno so excited…”

. . .

Former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev was in his apartment looking at photos of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan and the late Pope John Paul II.

“Those were the days when truly great men walked the earth,” Gorbachev mused aloud, “when despite our differences we did try to make this world a better place to live in- for ourselves and the generations that would come after us.”

He glanced over at newspaper clippings on the clipping board above his granddaughter’s desk showing today’s current crop of world leaders.

On his granddaughter’s empty chair was a sign that said OUT TO LUNCH.

On the television screen, images of more casualties in Syria despite the purported ceasefire.

And even more mysteriously on the ground crawling over the dead bodies was a sinister looking charcoal burnt Black Hand.

. . .

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 26th
2016.

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Haunting Visions and The Black Hand In The Garden

November 26, 2015 at 8:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Haunting Visions and The Black Hand In The Garden

The retired elderly priest sat at his desk reading a copy of Saint Augustine’s major work The City of God.

Feeling a bit drowsy, he took off his glasses and put them on his desk.

He went over to his arm chair to rest.

He fell asleep.

He dreamed he was standing in Saint Peter’s Square amongst a group of religious pilgrims.

They were waiting for the Pope to appear at the Vatican window to give his blessing.

Suddenly black darkened skies appeared over the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

Huge raindrops the colour of blood fell from the sky.

The blood red rain drops fell on to the square turning it into a flowing river of blood.

People screamed and started to run.

The rain suddenly stopped and a peculiar rainbow that continued to drip blood appeared over the dome of the Basilica.

People turned into pillars of salt as they stood and gazed at the rainbow.

The retired elderly priest was knocked to the ground by a Middle Eastern looking man who shouted “Allah Akbar!”.

Loud speakers in the square suddenly started playing the voice of Barack Obama saying, “The United States strongly condemns these attacks. However we also strongly say that none of this would have happened had the world strongly listened to what the United States government dictated which is that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad must go in any and all circumstances without any discussion or questioning of U.S. State Department communiques and my own Executive Orders. The Syrian people and the Syrian people alone should decide who their leaders should be. And bearing that in mind, we say and we insist that Bashar Assad should go without any more questioning or discussion and he has no more part to play whatsoever in Syria’s future. So our Imperial wisdom hath decreed.”

An earthquake suddenly shook the City of Rome and the Basilica was destroyed.

The retired elderly priest suddenly awoke with a start.

He suddenly heard a tapping at his door.

He got up from his armchair and went over to the door to answer it.

He opened the door and looked around.

No one there.

He was about to shut the door when suddenly he noticed a severed charcoal burnt Black Hand crawling through the garden.

Grabbing his Breviary and his rosary, the retired elderly priest walked out to the garden and said the Saint Michael Prayer as well as a prayer of Exorcism.

He looked around.

The Black Hand was gone.

Still the elderly priest could not shake off the feeling that the Black Hand would be back bringing war and death in its wake.

Making the Sign of the Cross, the retired elderly priest – Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI- left the grounds of the Vatican Garden and returned to his living quarters and shut the door.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 26th
2015.

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Five Fingers of Death: The Black Hand and Writing On The Wall

November 25, 2015 at 9:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Five Fingers of Death: The Black Hand and Writing On The Wall

“The moving finger writes and having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all thy tears wash out a Word of it.”

-The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

. . .

The Turkish diplomat walked the streets of Moscow.

He wrapped his scarf around his face as much to hide himself as to keep out the Russian cold.

It had been a hectic couple of days ever since Turkey had shot down a Russian plane.

The diplomat was struggling to ensure that the incident didn’t lead to the outbreak of war.

He stood looking at the view of the Kremlin from his vantage point.

The diplomat suddenly felt a tapping on his shoe.

He looked down and saw a severed charcoal burnt Black Hand.

The Black Hand crawled up his pants and then up his jacket and then proceeded to strangle him with his scarf.

The diplomat fell to the ground quite dead.

The Black Hand then grabbed a Samsung Galaxy 6 Smart Phone from a shocked tourist (who ran away after the phone was grabbed not wanting to argue with a moving severed hand) and took a photo of the dead Turkish diplomat on the ground with the walls of the Kremlin as a backdrop.

It then posted the photo on Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Facebook page with the inscription written in both Turkish and Russian, “Go fuck yourself, you syphilis infested running dog of Turkey.”

And then signed it,
“Yours respectfully,
Vladimir Putin.”

The Black Hand then pulled down the Turkish diplomat’s pants and undershorts.

The hand then interrupted a mugging on a nearby Moscow street corner to grab the mugger’s large butcher knife.

Both would-be mugger and would-be victim fled at the sight of the severed charcoal burnt Black Hand carrying the knife down the street.

The Black Hand then returned to the slain Turkish diplomat and cut off his penis.

It then stuck the penis in the Turkish diplomat’s mouth and once again took another photo with the Samsung Galaxy 6 Smart Phone.

It then posted the photo to Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Twitter account with the message, “Chew on this for awhile you mongrelized motherfucker” adding the hash tag
#CaitlynJennerWannabe.

The hand then grabbed the penis and crawled into a nearby Moscow post office.

It helped itself to some postage stamps, an envelope and some string.

It put the diplomat’s penis in the envelope, grabbed some glue, sealed the envelope, attached the appropriate postage and then grabbed a pen and addressed the envelope to

Recep Tayyip Erdogan
Chief Eunuch
Turkish Presidential Palace
Ankara, Turkey

And then wrote a notation on the back of the envelope in Turkish:

Attention Erdogan:
Now you have one.

It then dropped the appropriately addressed and proper postage stamped envelope into a nearby mail box.

All in all a good day’s work for the severed charcoal burnt Black Hand who had been causing trouble throughout the world ever since the Battle of Kosovo in 1389.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 25th
2015.

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Pan Goatee On The Temple Mount

July 13, 2015 at 8:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee On The Temple Mount

Pan Goatee stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

He took out his reed pipes and started playing the melody of the Hitler Youth Movement.

Standing next to him was the German siren Lorelei dressed in a short skirted German Valkyrie warrioress outfit designed for her by Cosplay fashion designer Yaya Han.

As Pan Goatee played on his reed pipes, the Valkyrie siren Lorelei sang,

… “But somewhere a glory awaits unseen
Tomorrow belongs to me…”

… “The morning will come when the world is mine
Tomorrow belongs to me…”

A severed charcoal burnt Black Hand kept time to the music by tapping the pavement on the ground with his fingers at the top of the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 13th
2015.

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