Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

December 20, 2016 at 5:14 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

Things quieted down in Hayden, Colorado after the Aztec gold was dug up and stolen by a group of marauding Mormons who took it to Utah with them.

This later gave American forensic geologist Scott Wolter something to do for his early 21st Century TV show America Unearthed.

Since there was no longer any reason to stay in Hayden, Isis flew back to Paris by way of New York and Qonzilqointec returned to Mexico City by way of San Francisco.

“At last, peace and quiet,” Sherrielock sighed to herself as she lay in bed.

She might finally be able to get to sleep at night.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Qonzilqointec vs. Isis: The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

December 19, 2016 at 4:20 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec vs. Isis: The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

The Egyptian vampiress Isis was none too pleased that one of the gold bars her archaeologist found had been stolen by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (although Qonzilqointec claimed Aztec reclamation).

“This means war,” Isis seethed.

It wasn’t long before the showdown.

As Howard Cosell might have called it had he been alive at the time, The Showdown After Sundown.

Dressed in elaborate Parisienne and Madrid made evening gowns with holsters tied around their waists, they stood (in spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes) facing one another.

Inside each holster was a hawthorne wooden stake- guaranteed to kill the Undead dead.

Or so the sign read down at Van Helsing’s Lumber Yard in town.

Both Isis and Qonzilqointec had purchased their stakes without bothering to ask if there was a money back guarantee.

The town’s sheriff called out, “Draw.”

Each vampiress quickly pulled the stake out of their respective holsters and threw it at the other.

Qonzilqointec’s stake hit and broke Isis’ right vampiric incisor tooth.

“Oh Great God Ra, that’s going to cost me a fortune in dental work,” Isis moaned.

The town dentist stood rubbing his hands in glee.

Isis’ stake hit and struck Qonzilqointec’s left breast.

“Oh great Quetzalcoatl, it’s going to cost me a fortune to get that scar removed,” Qonzilqointec moaned.

The town doctor (who had a breast fetish) stood rubbing his hands in glee.

Belvedere who was busy eating a heavily garlic laced onion soup noticed that the two vampiresses were keeping away from him (of course so was everyone else for that matter).

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Qonzilqointec Confronts French Archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle

December 17, 2016 at 2:27 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Confronts French Archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle

“This gold bar has the seal of Montezuma on it,” French archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle pointed out to Belvedere.

“It doesn’t look like a seal from pictures I’ve seen of them,” Belvedere looked puzzled, “I thought a seal kind of looked like an otter sorta.”

“You’re thinking of those sea mammals that eat fish and bark a lot,” De Gaulle glared at Belvedere, “A seal in this case refers to a special symbol used to represent the authority of the Aztec Emperor Montezuma.”

“I’ll take that gold bar if you don’t mind, Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle,” the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec entered the saloon wearing a gold evening dress, “after all, it belongs to my people.”

“Your people?” Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle was astonished.

“The Aztecs,” she smiled her vampiric incisors at the Frenchman, “Do you know what we did to our sacrificial victims?”.

“Didn’t you tear their living still beating hearts out of their chests and eat them?” Dr. De Gaulle gulped.

“Yes,” she stepped closer to the archaeologist.

“I don’t think Miss Sherrielock appreciates blood on the saloon floor unless it’s in the dominatrix whipping dungeon downstairs,” Belvedere spoke up, “You’re going to have to step outside.”

Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle ran out the door.

Qonzilqointec turned into a bat and followed him out the door.

“I’m going to have to cut down on eating the chef’s wild mushroom soup special,” Belvedere remarked upon seeing the vampiress’ transformation from sexy human to winged flying mammal.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Qonzilqointec, Isis and The Lost Aztec Gold of Hayden, Colorado

December 16, 2016 at 4:41 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, Isis and The Lost Aztec Gold of Hayden, Colorado

Pompidou De Gaulle was a French archaeologist. He had been hired by the Egyptian Vampiress Isis to discover the location where the Aztecs might have buried their gold after fleeing Mexico following Hernan Cortez’s conquest of Montezuma’s Empire.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec on the other hand was the woman who injected the poison she called Montezuma’s Revenge into the water supply of Mexico which affected only non-Mexican visitors to the land the Aztecs once ruled.

Several centuries later, Qonzilqointec would inject the same poison (Montezuma’s Revenge) into the drinking water at the 2016 Republican Convention in Cleveland, Ohio. She added to the mischief and mayhem by building miniature walls around the washrooms and getting the delegates to pay for them (they had to pay to enter).

Such was the situation looming in the town of Hayden, Colorado in the year 1880- a point in time between Cortez”s conquest of Mexico in 1519 and the Republican National Convention in Cleveland in 2016.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 26th
2016.

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Belvedere Meets The Egyptian Vampiress Isis

December 14, 2016 at 6:26 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere Meets The Egyptian Vampiress Isis

Belvedere was down in The Wild Tomatoes and Mushrooms Saloon working late when the saloon door opened and in walked a beautiful Egyptian looking woman in a maroon red evening dress.

“Good evening,” said Belvedere.

“I am the Egyptian Vampiress Isis,” said the woman as she walked regally towards Belvedere’s bar.

“A vampiress?” Belvedere reached for a glass of water and gulped it down, “Another vampiress was in here recently.”

“That wasn’t the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec by any chance was it?” Isis bore her fangs.

“As a matter of fact it was,” Belvedere poured himself a second glass of water.

“She must be looking for the lost Aztec gold as well,” Isis ordered a glass of cognac.

“She was,” Belvedere reached for a third glass of water and then poured a cognac handing it to Isis.

“I shall beat her to it,” said Isis.

“I take it you two are rivals,” Belvedere thought of Generals Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant.

“She supported Juarez and I supported the Emperor Maximilian in the Mexican War,” Isis recalled her attempts to help French Emperor Napoleon III dominate world affairs.

“I take it you don’t celebrate Cinco De Mayo then?” Belvedere asked casually.

Isis threw the cognac in his face.

“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Belvedere wiped his face with a towel.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 24th
2016.

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