The Fla₱₱er Girl, Flaming Head of Teilhard and ₱achamama

November 22, 2022 at 11:22 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

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  • A fla₱₱er girl of the 192Os listening to the radio
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  • The year was 1927.
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  • A fla₱₱er girl named Lara Moyne, who lived in Buffalo, New York, was listening to the radio.
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  • Due to strange frequencies and waves acting u₱ in the s₱ace/time continuum of the cosmos, she was actually ₱icking u₱ a radio broadcast from 95 years in the future.
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  • From Tuesday November 22nd 2O22 to be exact.
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  • Some British M₱ named Renfield R. Renfield had flown in a dirigible ₱owered by cannabis (the same substance she had heard was res₱onsible for reefer madness) over the Atlantic and then to Buffalo to broadcast live from over the city at the request of the BBC (a₱₱arently the BBC World Service was suffering from low ratings at the moment and could only boost their ratings if they brought in M₱ Renfield to do a broadcast for them).
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  • A₱₱Arently Buffalo was the site of a monster snowstorm and so that’s why the BBC World Service was in Buffalo, New York at the moment.
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  • Renfield was covering other stories from around the world before getting on to the Buffalo New York monster snow storm.
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  • ₱aranormal warriors fighting with the Ukrainan Army have ca₱tured the ghost of the Greek warrior Ajax who is mentioned in Homer’s Iliad and referred to as a fool in Shakes₱eare’s Troilus and Cressida.
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  • Most of the Greek warriors of the Trojan War have been su₱₱orting the Russians in this war while the Trojans such as Hector and ₱aris have been backing the Ukrainians.
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  • Ajax was ca₱tured in eastern Ukraine just east of the reca₱tured Ukrainian city of Kharkiv Ukraine.
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  • Meanwhile it has come to light in the Emergencies Act Inquiry in Ottawa that Alexander Cohen an im₱otent bedwetter who was working in the office of Canada’s Il Duce Benito Mussolini wannabe aka Canadian Federal ₱ublic Safety Minister Marco Mendicino wrote to Canadian journalists this ₱ast January asking them to dig u₱ dirt on Freedom Convoy ₱rotestors. Thus the Third World style dictatorial regime of Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau was ₱lanning to im₱lement dictatorial measures even before the Freedom Convoy ₱rotests were at their ₱eak.
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  • In U.S. News, the tradition of ₱ardoning a ₱air of turkeys for U.S. Thanksgiving carries on as senile old fool Joe Biden ₱ardoned himself and his son Hunter on the front lawn of the White House yesterday.
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  • In Buffalo, New York, the monster snow storm that hit the city this ₱ast week was caused by ₱achamama the Inca earth mother goddess (worshi₱₱ed by the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio) escorting the Hellfire flaming head of a₱ostate Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin through the de₱ths of Lake Erie allowing warm air to rise from the lake which, when mixed with the air from the atmos₱here, caused the monster snow storm to hit the city burying it under huge drifts of snow.
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  • The Norse underworld goddess Hel, the Norse frost giants of Niflheim and the Norse trickster god Loki arrived on the scene just in time to create further havoc and snowfall. The Norse wolf Fenrir howled in the snow and sang the lyrics to Elvis ₱resley’s old song Wooden Heart as the snow fell. A Demon Buffalo from Buffalo Lake, Alberta observed the ₱roceedings.
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  • Lara Moyne the fla₱₱er girl of Buffalo New York did not know what to make of the radio broadcast from the future.
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  • Just then Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing arrived from the future to make out with her.
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  • As the ₱air ₱racticed ₱ositions from the Kama Sutra, the ghost of Orson Welles sang another old (but this time little known) Elvis ₱resley song Yoga Is As Yoga Does.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
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  • written by Christo₱her

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  • Tuesday November 22nd
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  • 2O22.

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  • Cat Woman and ₱anther Vs. The Vam₱ire

    November 17, 2022 at 11:17 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Personal essays, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • She lay there beckoning
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  • So the vam₱ire who was not a nice vam₱ire
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  • In fact he was a Nazi
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  • Albeit a Nazi vam₱ire who had signed an alliance with the vam₱ire Lev Tomi
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  • who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the first Commander of the Soviet Red Army
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  • Now he was Commander of NATO
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  • And so the Nazi vam₱ire had joined with the new Red Army commander of NATO
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  • But now he was concentrating on seducing the Cat Woman
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  • And she lay there beckoning
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  • The Nazi vam₱ire a₱₱roached
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  • The Cat Woman rang a bell
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  • And the ₱anther in the ₱ainting behind her came to life
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  • And ri₱₱ed the Nazi vam₱ire a₱art
  • And then bounded out of the room
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  • And headed off to the next NATO meeting in Euro₱e
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  • The Cat Woman ₱urred
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  • When she saw Dracul Van Helsing enter the room
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  • Writer’s Note: It was 18 years ago today on November 17th 2OO4 that I first began writing my series of vam₱ire novels. I remember the date because it was the Feast Day of Saint Elizabeth of Hungary who’s one of Hungary’s ₱atron Saints and Bela Lugosi who ₱layed Dracula in the classic 1931 Universal ₱ictures horror film Dracula was Hungarian. Hence why I chose that date. I wrote them at 4 different blogging sites Journals₱ace from 2OO4 to 2OO6, Fro₱₱er (an India based blogging site) from 2OO6 to 2OO8, Xanga from 2OO9 to 2O13 and currently Word₱ress from 2O13 to the ₱resent.
  • -A ₱oem and Vam₱ire Novel Cha₱ter
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  • Written by Christo₱her Thursday November 17th
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  • 2O22.

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  • Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Slay Nazi Vam₱ire Franz Kohler

    November 7, 2022 at 11:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • The Greek goddess Artemis ₱retends to be enthused with the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau
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  • The date was June 25th 195O. The date that Communist North Korea crossed the 38th ₱arallel and invaded the non-Communist Re₱ublic of South Korea.
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  • Franz Kohler, a Nazi vam₱ire who in his mortal life had been a member of and a leading researcher for the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau, had travelled back in time from the year 2O22 to this date to mark the occasion.
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  • Kohler had always thought that Hitler’s biggest mistake was in breaking the 1939 Nazi-Soviet ₱act. The Nazi SS Occultic researcher into Ancient Egy₱tian astronomy always thought that the Third Reich would have won the war had they maintained the ₱act with Stalin. The ghosts of Theoso₱hists Helena ₱etrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant and Alice A. Bailey agreed. For they negotiated a ₱eace deal between the ghosts of Nazi Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and Soviet dictator Josef Stalin.
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  • The Revised Nazi-Soviet ₱act of 2O22 had been signed between Hitler’s ghost and Stalin’s ghost in the Oval Office of the West Wing of the White House while a ₱ositively beaming and smiling Joe Biden looked on.
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  • America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief even had a celebratory bowel movement as he congratulated the two s₱ectral signatories.
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  • Also ₱resent at the signing ceremonies were the Inca red dragon/woman sha₱eshifting earth mother goddess demon ₱achamama and the flaming head of the Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin (whose head had managed to esca₱e from Tartarus in the Underworld).
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  • When the signing was over, ₱achamama and the a₱ostate Jesuit Teilhard (whose most devoted disci₱le in the 21st Century was the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio) then ₱rocceded to go around the world heating u₱ the ₱lanet so that the ₱lanners of the U₱coming Dark Winter (who were wanting to see hundreds of thousands if not millions of Euro₱eans freeze to death this winter) could blame all the heat on Climate Change and then blame this Climate Change on man-made CO2 emissions so they could shut off oil and gas to Euro₱ean homes and businesses this winter.
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  • It was of tremendous hel₱ to the New Age Nazi/Fascist/Communist grou₱ that the demon Moloch had a₱₱eared to Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin ₱osing as Saint Michael the Archangel to encourage him to invade Ukraine.
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  • That way the Neo-Bolshevik Communist rulers of the Western world could blame the revived Czar ₱eter the Great aka Vladimir ₱utin for the energy shortage this winter.
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  • Of course America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief Joe Biden had his fingers crossed today as the ghost of the late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley criss-crossed the U.S. tonight (the night before the big lunar ecli₱se) teaching the Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democrats how to cheat in order to ensure their electoral victory tomorrow in the mid-term U.S. elections.
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  • Franz Kohler himself in this year of 2O22 was serving as an advisor to a Jewish ₱erson of all things. He served as Chief Su₱ernatural advisor to the Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari (who was the Official ₱hiloso₱her to Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum). Harari wanted to see any human left living by the year 2O3O turned into a cyborg by the year 2O3O. Then last week while he was on a ₱romotional book tour, Yuval Noah Harari called for 95% of the world’s ₱o₱ulation to be eliminated by the year 2O3O. Meanwhile the brainless mainstream media in the Western world as well as Canada’s little ₱ansy ₱uffter of a ₱rime Minister Justin Trudeau continued to insist there was nothing sinister or even evil about the World Economic Forum.
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  • As Franz Kohler sat there fuming with rage while listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield (one of whose s₱irit advisors was the ghost of Winston Churchill who had been Der Fuhrer’s archenemy in their mortal lives) and his Monday night ₱odcast in which Renfield said, “The secularist Neo-Bolshevik Communist tyranny of the contem₱orary 21st Century U.S. Democratic ₱arty is on the line in tomorrow’s mid-term U.S. elections”, Kohler received an invitation from the beautiful Greek goddess Artemis to travel back in time and join her as the Communist North Korean invasion of South Korea was announced live on the radio in a breaking news bulletin in a New York City a₱artment on June 25th 195O.
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  • Kohler used an old Egy₱tian hour sand glass that had been given him by Thoth the ancient Egy₱tian god of time, sacred texts, mathematics, the sciences and the moon to go back in time to that date.
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  • Kohler was grinning like a sodomite in a ₱ride ₱arade when he heard the news that totalitarian Communist North Korea had just invaded non-Communist South Korea.
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  • Little did the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau realize that the whole thing was a set u₱ by the Greek goddess of the hunt Artemis and the Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to bum₱ him off.
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  • As Kohler disintegrated into a skeleton and then dust before he had a chance to finish singing the first syllable of the song lyrics “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles… ” , Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing started making out in celebration.
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  • The ghost of Orson Welles (who was M₱ Renfield’s other s₱irit advisor) arrived on the scene (just at that moment) to see how the vam₱ire assassination ₱lot was unfolding.
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  • “Oh, shoot! Not again!” Welles’ ghost cried out when he saw Artemis and Van Helsing making out.
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  • Meanwhile back on U.S. Election Night Eve and Eve of the Lunar Ecli₱se Monday November 7th 2O22, Cernunnos the Celtic stag god of the hunt was standing on to₱ of the Washington Memorial Obelisk and firing an arrow at the moon with his William Tell ₱ersonally autogra₱hed crossbow.
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  • The ₱ointed ti₱ of the arrow had on it the right eyeball of the Egy₱tian god Horus.
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  • “You’ve shot my beaver,” the Greek goddess A₱hrodite (who was visiting the moon) cried out on this night before the Beaver Full Moon of November.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
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  • written by Christo₱her
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  • Monday November 7th
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  • 2O22

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  • Athena At The St. James’ Court Hotel In Lndon

    October 18, 2022 at 9:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Athena at the St. James’ Court Hotel in London

    The Greek goddess Athena was in London at the St. James’ Court Hotel where she would be attending a Johann Strauss style Viennese ball.

    Her date for this evening would be Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

    In addition to dancing, they would also be discussing geopolitical affairs as they danced.

    When Dracul Van Helsing entered the ballroom, he was confronted by this vision.

    As they danced to the music of the Blue Danube, the goddess and the vampire hunter discussed the Russia-Ukraine War and the possibility of nuclear war.

    “The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the owner of Set Enterprises here in London has been working behind the scenes to prevent nuclear war,” Dracul explained, “The same cannot be said for Isis, Osiris and their son Horus and their Freemasonic and Neo-Bolshevik Communist allies and the puppet whose strings they pull senile old fool Joe Biden who are all gung ho for nuclear war.”

    “I guess they figure it’s a lot easier to Build Back Better when a few atomic mushroom clouds are decorating the landscape of the atmosphere,” Athena mused aloud.

    “Set is dealing personally with operations against Isis, Osiris, Horus and Joe Biden,” Dracul nodded, “While his former employee the British MP Renfield R. Renfield is overseeing operations against Vladimir Putin so he doesn’t start a nuclear war.”

    “And how’s that going?” Athena inquired.

    “Well first we tried diplomacy,” Dracul noted, “We sent over the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec to try to talk to him diplomatically but he made a pass at her and so the whole thing failed. She kicked him right where it hurt. So Putin was unable to emerge from the meeting waving a condom in his hand and saying, “Piece in our time.” Diplomacy was over.”

    “And then what was the next method of persuasion?” Athena smiled.

    “We tried extortion and blackmail,” Dracul replied, “The good old Raymond “Red” Reddington of The Blacklist TV show approach. I managed to obtain some compromising photos of Putin in compromising positions with high-priced escort call girls at The Catherine The Great Hotel Hilton in downtown Moscow. Renfield sent over the ghost of Orson Welles to the Kremlin with those compromising photos in a spectral violin case. Welles said to Putin those photos would be released to both Russia and the world in the event he launched a nuclear attack on anyone.”

    “And what was Putin’s response?” Athena wanted to know.

    “Putin just laughed,” Dracul answered, “And said those photos would increase his popularity among the Russian people. Showing how young and virile he was for a 70-year-old leader.”

    “As opposed to dementia and paving the way for a massive diaper shortage in the U.S. in Joe Biden’s case,” Athena acknowledged.

    “Exactly,” Dracul agreed.

    “So, what is your next strategy?” Athena was curious.

    “Well, “diplomacy stunk” to paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. And “extortion stunk” to again paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. So now is the time to bring in the “big guns” which are “tomatoed buns”. We plan to send over world-famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to tomato Vladimir Putin’s buttocks until he agrees to end the war in Ukraine,” Dracul explained.

    “But how will Sherrielock get into Russia?” Athena asked, “It is my understanding that the Russian Air Defense Ministry have Dominatrixes preeminently pinpointed on their radar screens?”.

    “Well, Sherrielock used to own an immortal white horse called Excalibur Lightning,” Dracul noted, “This horse could travel the world at lightning speed. Unfortunately at the outbreak of World War I in August 1914, the German secret service and the German Navy horsenapped Sherrielock’s horse and took it aboard a German u-boat and sailed to the waters of Canada’s High Arctic where it was said they buried it under a medieval Norse temple to the Norse goddess Freya. They did it to prevent Sherrielock Holmes riding over to Germany and tomatoing the buttocks of the Kaiser Wilhelm II to quickly end that war.”

    “And has this horse been found?” Athena inquired.

    “Yes, a team sent out by Set Enterprises happened to find it yesterday,” Dracul was pleased to announce.

    An idiotic apologist for Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel kept throwing angry glances in Dracul Van Helsing’s direction.

    The idiot Hynkel apologist whose name was Socrates1234 (because that was the highest he could count) went over to the punch bowl to pour himself a glass of punch.

    Harvey Tallbanger the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit and secret agent for Set Enterprises put several drops of hemlock into the idiot Hynkel apologist Socrates1234’s glass of punch.

    The idiot Hynkel apologist dropped dead on the spot after drinking the hemlock laced glass of punch.

    Since he had no ID on him, he was taken to a charity paupers’ funeral home where his memorial service was presided over by an Ashkenazi Jewish rabbi.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Tuesday October 18th

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    Semiramis On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    October 9, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, News, Personal essays, Philosophy, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Semiramis the Queen of Babylon on the Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    The full moon in October is called the Hunter’s Moon.

    And Semiramis the Queen of Babylon was out standing in the moonlight in the backyard gardens and gazebo grounds of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

    The Queen of Babylon was not sure why she was there on this night of all nights.

    The Night of the Hunter’s Moon.

    She just felt drawn to come here tonight for some reason.

    The Hunter’s Moon, Semiramis thought.

    Interesting as she recalled her husband Nimrod of many millenia ago was called in Genesis Chapter 10 “a mighty hunter against the Lord”.

    Today Nimrod the once “mighty man” is a little green frog who is occasionally seen in the company of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith, is also seen in the company of the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus and also serves as an advisor to NASA on the Artemis moon rocket program (even though he knows nothing whatsoever about building moon rockets).

    Semiramis suddenly heard footsteps approaching as she stood alongside the gazebo landing.

    It was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approaching.

    In his right hand he carried a suitcase containing video footage of Russian President Vladimir Putin making out with various high-priced escort call girls in the Catherine The Great Moscow Hilton Hotel in downtown Moscow Russia which is owned by Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff.

    Van Helsing and Set Enterprises were hoping to use the video footage to blackmail Putin and prevent him from launching a nuclear attack on Ukraine or the West.

    Van Helsing could have sent the video footage to Set Enterprises via the Internet but thought the video footage might be destroyed by Russian hackers or the American CIA’s Science and Research Division (that had been headed by the Operation Paperclip landed immigrant Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele since 1950) which wanted global nuclear war or Google just because the technocrats who run Google are a bunch of assholes.

    “Van Helsing,” Semiramis gasped.

    The Queen of Babylon had encountered Van Helsing on previous occasions.

    “Semiramis,” Van Helsing acknowledged the Queen of Babylon.

    “Has anyone ever told you that you’re the spitting image of Carson Cody Albion the private eye?” Semiramis asked.

    “A few people have told me that,” Van Helsing answered, “Isn’t Carson Cody Albion the private eye supposed to be immortal? In the same way that Sherrielock Holmes the lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes is likewise literally immortal? Although Sherrielock became immortal as a result of eating a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom omelette and drinking a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom milkshake. I have no how idea how Carson Cody Albion became literally immortal.”

    “Rumour has it,” Semiramis answered, “that he became immortal after drinking milk from the sexy incredible well endowed breasts of my very beautiful and very young looking mother the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis.”

    “Really,” Van Helsing was intrigued, “Any idea where your mother is now?”.

    “None, whatsoever,” Semiramis replied.

    Van Helsing loked disappointed.

    He’d have to continue searching for Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth in Florida.

    A sudden rumble came from the night sky.

    Semiramis and Van Helsing looked up.

    It was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos chasing a demon elk.

    A couple of years ago a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield’s had written a blog post (out of the blue) about a demon elk seated on a throne in Rome’s catacombs who was being worshipped by a group of Cardinals and Western world political leaders.

    Today at the Spanish language evangelical church the geopolitical analyst attended a woman described an experience she had this past Tuesday where she had encountered a demonic looking elk on a highway in Idaho.

    The elk smashed her windshield and the woman had to keep her eyes closed so that the glass that covered her face wouldn’t enter her eyes and she’d go blind.

    She was rushed to hospital by ambulance where all the glass that surrounded her eyes was carefully removed and thanks to prayer and the amazing team of doctors and nurses, her eyes were saved.

    That same Tuesday the geopolitical analyst was having a dream about the Celtic stag god Cernunnos hunting a demon elk.

    He was awakened by his bozo landlord who needed to get into his room to the electric control panel in his room so he could momentarily shut off all the power in the house.

    The bozo landlord did so.

    And did so without stepping on the geopolitical analyst’s tablet that was being charged on the floor.

    However the landlord was making such a racket upstairs, the geopolitical analyst decided to go get a haircut as he needed one.

    When he got home, he was shocked to discover his tablet and his cord and plug in complete disarray on the floor as the bozo landlord had stepped all over it.

    His tablet that had a perfect appearance for years was now full of cracks.

    He had been getting severe eyestrain the past few days from trying to read and write on it.

    But that was obviously nothing to the terror that this woman in his church must have felt this past Tuesday over the fact that she could possibly go blind with her face and eyelids covered in glass from the broken windshield on her car after her car made contact with a demonic looking elk on a road in Idaho.

    Ironically enough, the geopolitical analyst had recently written a blog post about Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie on a road in Idaho.

    And then this woman’s testimony regarding her eyes and eyesight in Church on this Sunday October 9th 2022.

    Another amazing thing is this Calgary based geopolitical analyst was raised Anglican and in the Canadian Anglican Book of Common Prayer, October 9th is the Memorial Commemorative Date of Robert Grosseteste a scholar who became the Bishop of Lincoln and died in the year 1253.

    Robert Grosseteste studied the science of optics and wrote extensively on the subject.

    He also invented the first pair of glasses ever invented in medieval Europe.

    Robert Grosseteste also taught the young Roger Bacon science.

    Roger Bacon was also the medieval philosopher who invented the Baconian scientific method (It can be found in Roger Bacon’s Magnum Opus which was one of the geopolitical analyst’s favourite books in the Medieval Philosophy class he took at the University of Alberta)).

    Scholars of the Enlightenment couldn’t handle the idea of a 13th Century Franciscan monk inventing the Baconian Scientific Method so they lied and claimed that it was the late 16th and early 17th Century Protestant and Rosicrucian Freemason Francis Bacon (who conveniently had the same last name) that came up with the Baconian scientific method.

    So in a matter dealing with eyes, a geopolitical analyst has had severe eyestrain the past week from trying to read and write on a cracked tablet, a woman almost lost her eyesight after her car windshield came crashing in during an encounter with a demonic looking elk on an Idaho highway and the geopolitical analyst found all this out in Church on the Anglican Memorial Commemorative Day of Robert Grosseteste the Bishop of Lincoln who studied the science of Optics and invented the first pair of eye glasses in medieval Europe.

    A dream about a demon elk, an actual encounter with a demonic looking elk this past Tuesday.

    Anything else?

    Well the Calgary based geopolitical analyst almost died from severe food poisoning as a kid from eating a piece of undercooked wild game animal meat from… an elk.

    “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
    -Hamlet, Act I, Scene v, lines 167-168.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday October 9th

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    They Call Her Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff

    October 7, 2022 at 10:08 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Philosophy, Quotations and Sayings of Dracul Van Helsing, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff the owner of the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton in downtown Moscow Russia

    Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff was the owner of the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton in downtown Moscow Russia.

    She was also the behind the scenes owner of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel on the outskirts of Moscow Idaho.

    The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel was famous for once having Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie as a guest there.

    Uncle Ernie sought refuge there after he became the only guest in all of recorded history to be kicked out of the Hotel Calfornia (which was unusual because as the Eagles song informs us “You can check out but you can never leave”).

    Uncle Ernie was also kicked out of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel as well.

    The problem was that The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel was full of beautiful, sexy and very attractive usually scantily clad female employees.

    And the problem as far as Uncle Ernie was concerned was that he kept stealing and trying on for himself the few sexy dresses that the scantily clad female employees of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel had.

    So Uncle Ernie was then thrown into a potato sack and dropped off on Interstate 90 in Idaho where unfortunately he was not run over by any motor vehicle.

    The potato sack wearing Uncle Ernie was picked up by a bus load of nuns who were headed to a retreat being held on Lake Coeur d’Alene.

    But that’s another story.

    Let’s just say they’ve never had another transgendered Jewish Rastafarian nun ever since.

    Although Pope Francis is working on it since he views it as quite possibly the greatest accomplishment of his senile Synodality project.

    There were rumours abounding in Moscow Russia that the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton Hotel was likewise a brothel.

    But that couldn’t be the case because self-proclaimed devout Orthodox Christian Vladimir Putin was seen going in and out of the hotel all the time.

    Anyways Set Enterprises was trying to prevent a global nuclear war unleashed by Russia’s psychopathic wanna be reborn Czar Peter the Great.

    To that end this past Wednesday October 5th Set Enterprises sent the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec to Moscow to negotiate in face to face talks with the Russian leader.

    Diplomacy failed after Russian President Vladimir Putin tried to make a pass at the sexy Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

    “I’m really the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg,” Putin winked at her.

    “You strike me more as being a PH unbalanced sasquatch teller of tall and incredibly boring tales,” Qonzilqointec remarked prior to kicking him in his tiny testicles with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

    So diplomacy had failed.

    Set Enterprises was now trying blackmail.

    It had sent Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to Moscow Russia to interview Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff the owner of The Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton Hotel and get her to admit and maybe even provide camera video footage of Vladimir Putin cavorting with high priced call girl escorts.

    Dracul Van Helsing entered the bedroom of Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff and was confronted by this sight:

    “Hello, Madame Natasha,” Van Helsing smiled, “How would you like to lie back on your bed and I’ll present to you Saint Thomas Aquinas’ Cosmological Argument for the Existence of God?”.

    Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff did just that and Dracul Van Helsing presented to the madame the Angelic Doctor’s Cosmological Argument For The Existence of God with a never before heard of method of discourse using illustrations from the Kama Sutra brought to life to argue the case for Intelligent Design of the Cosmos.

    By the time Van Helsing had finished, Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff was not only a confirmed theist but a confirmed Thomistic philosopher as well.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday October 7th

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    Qonzilqointec Visits Moscow

    October 5, 2022 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec prior to her meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin

    The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in Moscow.

    She was on a diplomatic peace mission for Set Enterprises in London.

    Qonzilqointec was close friends with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set himself.

    Since most of the satanic Neo-Bolshevik Communist leaders of the western world refused to sit down and talk to the wanna be new Imperial Russian Czar Peter the Great (aka Vladimir Putin) over the war in Ukraine, the threat of global nuclear war was growing bigger every day.

    The late former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill himself had once said, “It’s better to jaw jaw than to war war.”

    However the satanic leadership of the Western world saw the possibility of billions of people dying in a global nuclear war as the ultimate human sacrifice to the demons they worshipped: Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles.

    They either didn’t believe in or worship God but they certainly believed in and worshipped Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles.

    The whole damned lot of them.

    Emmanuel Macron, Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden etc. etc.

    A kink was put in their armour when a G.K. Chesterton quoting and J.R.R. Tolkien reading Christian woman Giorgia Meloni was recently elected Prime Minister of Italy.

    The brainless mainstream media in the western world went beserk and was already calling her a Fascist.

    She would be demonized along with Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orban by the Baal and Baphomet worshipping journalists in the Western world.

    The LGBTQ2s+ and counting community was the New World Order equivalent of the old Brahmin caste of the ancient Hindu caste system while Bible believing Evangelical Protestants and traditional Catholics were the New World Order equivalent of the Untouchables (Dalits) of the ancient Hindu caste system.

    Vladimir Putin had Moloch (the demonic twin brother of Baal that was one of the leaders of the demonic quartet that ruled the Western world) as a supernatural advisor.

    The new self-proclaimed Peter the Great was unaware however that Moloch was in fact Moloch.

    Moloch was appearing to Putin in the guise of Saint Michael the Archangel.

    Putin in a recent speech had called the West “openly satanic”.

    In reply Biden gave the following statement today:

    The Pooper-In-Chief approached the podium as the members of the brainless mainstream media stood.

    Before the press conference, the “non-satanic” mainstream media members had enjoyed feasting on a buffet of Marina Abramovic’s Kentucky Fried Humans that had been cooked up and prepared by the White House kitchen culinary staff.

    Biden stood in front of the blackened hearts of the White House Press Corps.

    “My fellow Americans,” Biden stated, “I want to make this perfectly clear. I am not a Satanist.”

    He then raised his arms with two fingers forming a V on each hand and shook the jowls on his face in Richard M. Nixon style fashion.

    Behind him stood Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles applauding vigourously.

    The ghost of Richard M. Nixon’s dog Checkers then appeared on stage, walked over to Biden, raised his right leg and peed all over Biden’s left foot.

    “Interesting,” Qonzilqointec said aloud as she watched the press conference on television from her Moscow hotel room.

    There was a knock on the door.

    It was the Kremlin chauffeur here to pick Qonzilqointec up to drive her to the Kremlin.

    To begin diplomatic talks with Putin on behalf of the West.

    On behalf of Set Enterprises.

    Since most of the governments of the Western world refused to talk to Putin preferrng the horror and human sacrifice of global nuclear war.

    As Qonzilqointec went to talk to Putin, Dr. Anthony Fauci was already on the phone talking to Bill Gates on the possibility of a post-nuclear zombie apocalypse scenario.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday October 5th

    Permalink 23 Comments


    February 1, 2021 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Vampire novel) (, )

    Gina lit a cigarette as she watched Dracul Van Helsing stake a vampire through the heart.

    “Who was he?” She asked.

    “No idea but he was paying visits to George Soros and Bill Gates so he was obviously up to no good,” Van Helsing watched as the vampire disintegrated into dust.

    “How do you plan to spend the rest of your evening?” Gina asked as she blew smoke rings.

    “I have not really given it much thought,” Van Helsing looked up at her.

    “I have,” she smiled at him.

    “Well then a penny for your thoughts,” Van Helsing smiled back.

    “My thoughts are worth far more than a penny,” she embraced him.

    “I would wager that’s the truth,” Van Helsing pressed his lips against hers.

    The heat of the night.

    The heat of the moment.

    And even the stars and the moon blushed.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Monday February 1st

    Permalink 6 Comments

    Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka Meets Yaldabaoth The Irish Leprechaun

    January 2, 2021 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka In Dublin

    Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had taken one of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships -this one called the High Calypso- from London England to Dublin Ireland.

    They were going to meet Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

    What brought the meeting about was that Dracul had heard from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol that the plans of the Egyptian god Osiris, his son Horus, George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab for a One World government were locked inside the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.

    They could break into the Bank of Monte Carlo vault but to do that they’d need the advice of two people Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones who played two master thieves in the 1999 movie Entrapment where they stole $8 billion dollars from the International Clearance Bank in the North Tower of the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

    Sadly however actor Sean Connery had passed away last year and not so sadly actress Catherine Zeta-Jones was very busy keeping actor Michael Douglas very happy indeed.

    However after consulting a crystal ball (which was actually a snow globe showing Lucy meeting the faun Mr. Tumnus carrying an umbrella and wrapped Christmas presents in the snowy woods of the land of Narnia), Whitstable had a vision that Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun knew the combination to the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.

    After phoning Yaldabaoth, Whitstable discovered that was indeed the case.

    So now, Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka were at their rendezvous location in Dublin where they would be presented by Yaldabaoth with the combination to the Bank of Monte Carlo vault.

    The combination number would be inside a fortune cookie slip inside a Chinese fortune cookie that Yaldabaoth would give to them along with a take out order of Guinness soaked sweet and sour spareribs.

    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka: Wearing a killer outfit.

    When Yaldabaoth saw Tanaka, the first thing he said was, “Wow. That’s really a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

    He then keeled over and fell to the ground sending both the fortune cookie and the take out order of Guinness soaked sweet and sour spareribs flying.

    Dracul immediately rushed over and felt Yaldabaoth’s pulse.

    He then looked up at Tanaka, “Wow. That really must be a killer outfit you’re wearing. He’s dead.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Saturday January 2nd

    Permalink 17 Comments

    Tanaka and Dracul On New Year’s Day 2021

    January 1, 2021 at 11:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was waiting for Dracul Van Helsing outside the British Museum in London

    “Do you realize you and I seem to be the only people in London who are not wearing masks?” Tanaka mentioned as Dracul approached.

    “Which for us is probably a good thing,” Dracul pointed out, “For a maskless Renfield R. Renfield is also out walking the streets of London today. Having had too many martinis last night, he’s walking around carrying a taser and tasering anybody who’s wearing a mask calling them “losers” and “disciples of the New World Order”. At least we won’t be tasered.”

    “So why did you want to meet me outside the British Museum?” Tanaka asked.

    “Because according to a text message I received last night from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol, Karl Marx’s ghost was seen by museum security guards last night. Since I have no desire to meet Karl Marx’s ghost (unlike most U.S. Democratic Party politicians and 99.9% of those who work at the Vatican), I decided to choose the daytime to meet outside the British Museum,” Dracul explained.

    “You’re a strange one, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “But in the good sense of that word.”

    “You know speaking of strange,” Dracul said, “I just found out that a good friend of mine when she was a girl started out the day reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion and then met the next door neighbour boy whom she had never officially met before and then ended up stealing the boy’s aunt’s panties with the boy and placed it in various places which she compared to a dragon discovering that people could be set on fire when he breathed on them and that somehow the dragon found that deliciously humourous. And so did she on what she had done that day.”

    “Yes, you do seem to have a habit of attracting the strange ones and vice-versa,” Tanaka noted.

    “I seem to drive the character of Mole crazy in my Wind In The Willows dreams,” Dracul recalled, “although what Toad of Toad Hall thinks of me, he doesn’t say. He’s too busy driving the latest motorcycle or motorcar or motorboat.”

    “Dracul, shut up,” Tanaka finally said exasperated.

    “Okay,” Dracul fell silent.

    “What did you want to see me about?” Tanaka asked.

    “Did you know that, prior to Pope Gregory XIII introducing his Gregorian Calendar to replace the old Julian calendar in 1582, that New Year’s Day used to be celebrated on April 1st and not January 1st?” Dracul inquired.

    “I did not know that,” Tanaka answered.

    “It was on the night of October 4th 1582 that Gregory introduced the Gregorian calendar and the next morning on what would have been October 5th on the old Julian calendar, the calendar jumped ahead 10 days to October 15th. The change was immediately adopted by the people of Spain and its colonies, the people of Portugal and its colonies, the united Commonwealth of Poland and Lithuania and almost all of Italy. The Holy Roman Empire shortly followed. The Protestant states of Europe with their horror of anything that smacked of Popery adopted the calendar more slowly. Prussia finally accepted it in 1610. Britain itself along with its colonies only adopted the Gregorian Calendar in 1750. Thus England was ridiculed by other states as “Fools” for not adopting the calendar and the New Year’s Day of April 1st was referred to as April Fool’s Day. Hence our origin of the term April Fool’s Day.”

    “That’s all very interesting, Dracul,” Tanaka nodded, “And this is what you were so anxious to tell me?”.

    “I only found all that out this morning,” Dracul explained, “But what really hit me was the date in 1582 that these “new times” came into effect – October 4th,” Dracul went on, “This explains why Pope Francis chose October 4th (in this case October 4th 2019) as the date he brought the Pachamama idol into the Vatican. It’s all tied in with the Great Reset of the global occultist Freemasons and their bastard children the Nazi/Fascists and the Communists. They’re seeking to change times and laws (Daniel 7:25) and tying it in with the Abomination of Desolation (Daniel 9:27).”

    “You know, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “You strike me as being more like Fox Mulder than even Peter Whitstable is.”

    “And will you be my Dana Scully?” Dracul asked.

    “What are the benefits to being your Dana Scully?” Tanaka asked.

    Dracul showed her.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday January 1st

    Permalink 16 Comments

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