Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec

September 25, 2019 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec 

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had to return to the Westminster House of Commons today after Britain’s Supreme Court ruled yesterday that his proroguing Parliament for 5 weeks was illegal.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield the United Kingdom’s Deputy Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering (and therefore a member of Johnson’s cabinet) was giving his friend Amadeus Emanon a run down of today’s parliamentary brawls and name calling.

“The Opposition needless to say,” but Renfield said it anyway, “acted like so much braying asses. It seemed that Labour MPs, Liberal Democratic MPs and Scottish Nationalist Party MPs were having a contest to see who could do the best facial impersonation of Swedish teen climate activist Grumpy Greta Thunberg. Simon Cowell would have had a hard time trying to judge a winner. Labour MPs were trying to outdo U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden in showing signs of advanced senility. The Scottish Nationalist Party showed why Scottish independence was so overwhelmingly rejected in the 2014 referendum as the Scots no doubt didn’t want this gang of bozos to be the leaders of their independent nation. The British Liberal Democrats looked like walking advertisements for the Before pictures in posters for an Enema Relief Medical Clinic. It made one wish this was the Taiwanese Parliament where one could use one’s fists and knock the living daylights out of one’s opponents.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Israel, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a telephone conversation with his most ardent supporter in the deep state of the Mossad intelligence service the operative known as Star of Azazel.

“Now that the country’s President Reuvin Rivlin has asked me to stay on as Prime Minister and given me first shot at trying to form a coalition government in the state,” Netanyahu drank a glass of wine in celebration, “I hope you will proceed to do everything possible in ensuring that certain external circumstances outside the country will emerge in such a way as to get other parties to support me when Israel is faced with such a dire external threat.”

Star of Azazel put aside the book of Kabbalistic black magic wizardry and sorcery he had been reading when Netanyahu called and looked at his guests Ares the Greek god of war, Thor the Norse god of thunder and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war who were in his living room.

“We’re working on that, Mr. Prime Minister,” Star of Azazel said before ending the phone call.

Azazel looked at Morrigan who was the most intelligent of the three deities present in the room.

“I’m sure more drones can be sent flying into Saudi Aramco oil refineries,” Morrigan smiled as she smoothed her dress, “and plenty of our agents in Foreign Affairs Ministries and Departments throughout the world can point fingers at Iran.”

Star of Azazel smiled and drank a toast, “Mazel Tov.”

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec did an Irish jig when she completed dressing prior to going down to the UN General Assembly to give a speech on Climate Change.

“Global warming will definitely hit the UN tonight,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing said when he saw what she was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 25th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

September 20, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec took a selfie of herself prior to going out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to meet British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the Irish border leprechaun Yaldabaoth, the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP the Kraken Napoloeon VI and his ex-Gorgon wife Medusa to find a possible solution to the Brexit crisis involving the Irish backstop.

Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had offered to intervene as a mediator in the dispute between Britain and the EU.

Britain’s NHS (National Health Service) had informed Mr. Johnson however that the NHS was not able to give Mr. Quetzalcoatl the amount of living human hearts he required as payment for his mediation services.

Meanwhile the American news media was full of the story that Donald Trump had asked the government of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden’s son Hunter for corruption.

As the American news media were busy wringing their hands over this, Amadeus Emanon the musician and singer who was employed as personal concert pianist to the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was more concerned about a small news story that had appeared in the Wall Street Journal today – a story that was taken down off its news website a few hours later although it could still be found if one used a search engine to search for it but unless people knew that the story was out there, they most likely would not search for it.

The story was the Federal Reserve Bank of New York was offering to add at least $75 billion daily to the financial system until October 10th to ensure the liquidity of the financial system.

The Wall Street Journal added that the Fed will conduct further operations as needed after October 10th.

Amadeus could have asked his employer Set about the matter but the Egyptian god of night and the desert was currently on a vision quest and attending a Cree First Nation sweat lodge ceremony at Elk Island National Park in the Canadian province of Alberta.

So Amadeus went to ask his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering instead.

“Wasn’t the Fed doing something similar to this before the global financial crisis of 2008?” Amadeus asked.

“It was,” Renfield admitted.

“God,” Amadeus turned pale, “I wish you had broken it to me gently in answering this question.”

“Well I’m sorry,” said Renfield, “but I haven’t been in politics as long as Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau have in order to come up with real whoppers to shield people from unpleasant truth and reality.”

Mammon, the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce and patron demon of wealthy elitist oligarchs, isn’t too concerned about the impact that another global financial crisis might have on average folks and those who are struggling below the poverty level 

Meanwhile in Australia, a notorious Australian misfit known to all as Uncle Ernie had (because he was stoned out of his mind) walked into the ladies’ washroom of a prestigious restaurant in Sydney’s Chinatown where he encountered the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was currently working for the Chinese Communist government in Beijing:

“Jesus!” exclaimed Uncle Ernie, “I need to get my hands on some Viagra quick!”.

He then passed out.

-A vampire novel chapter 
Written by Christopher
Friday September 20th
2019.

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Norse Goddess Freya, Dracul Van Helsing, Boris Johnson and The Kraken

September 16, 2019 at 10:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Norse Goddess Freya, Dracul Van Helsing, Boris Johnson and The Kraken

The Norse goddess Freya was on the phone talking to Dracul Van Helsing

“Did you see that empty podium next to the Prime Minister of Luxembourg Xavier Bettel at what was supposed to be the press conference between him and Boris Johnson discussing Brexit?”

“And Dracul, you say the reason Johnson avoided the press conference was because the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP The Kraken Napoleon VI had a two for the price of one Buffet coupon that was about to expire in another hour and the Kraken had invited Johnson for lunch?”

“Sure, do come over to my place, Dracul.”

“I’m always up for tantric sex, anytime, anywhere.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Monday September 16th
2019.

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Renfield Discusses Bozos Heading Amnesty Canada International, The Coming Middle East War and Drones Hitting Saudi Refinery

September 14, 2019 at 11:10 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Discusses Bozos Heading Amnesty International Canada, The Coming Middle East War and Drones Hitting Saudi Refinery

“I am NOT an impotent bed wetter with a small penis.”
-Alex Neve, Secretary-General of Amnesty International Canada snivelling in response to the latest political volley shot at him by Alberta Premier Jason Kenney

When asked by the news media to drop his trousers and his drawers in order to provide substantial empirical proof to back up his denial, Mr. Neve declined to do so.

Meanwhile over in London England, British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn stood up and left a pub when he saw the Egyptian god Anubis enter.

Meanwhile in another corner of the pub, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend Amadeus Emanon were discussing the world geopolitical situation.

“So, what’s this war of words going on in Canada between Alex Neve the Secretary-General of Amnesty International Canada and Alberta Premier Jason Kenny?” Amadeus asked as he ordered the Alberta Angus steak sandwich medium rare.

“Well Alex Neve being your typical Marxist-Leninist inclined climate change obsessed radical environmentalist nut case thinks that building pipelines and putting people in Alberta’s oil and gas industry back to work is a gross violation of human rights,” Renfield replied.

“That’s kind of a different claim to make,” Amadeus sipped his tea.

“It’s not how Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the current House of Saud’s idea of violating human rights would work but then Canada is a country that recently legalized marijuana,” Renfield pointed out.

“What can I get you for dinner, sir?” The waitress asked Renfield.

“The two piece cod Fish and Chips, please,” Renfield handed her back the menu.

“So, what do you think of the possibility of a major regional war breaking out in the Middle East sometime in the foreseeable future?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, it’s always possible that a major Middle East regional war won’t break out this year although even that possibility is becoming more and more unlikely,” Renfield said, “however in the longer term, saying that a Middle East regional war will NOT break out in the next few years makes about as much sense as saying that someday a member of America’s contemporary so-called progressive/liberal left will actually come to understand what Marxist-Leninism and Fascism actually are in their historical antecedents rather than in the pseudointellectual dream world that most American progressives and liberals seem to exist in.”

“Wow, then that definitely does not look good for world peace,” Amadeus admitted.

“And it may not look good for world peace in the very very immediate future if Benjamin Netanyahu’s Likud Party continues to do poorly in the polls in the next few days leading up to the Israeli general Election,” said Renfield, “Netanyahu is the sort of political personality that would prefer World War III breaking out rather than the absolutely horrific (in his opinion) possibility that he might cease being Prime Minister of Israel. Even saying he’d annex the Jordan Valley and the northern Dead Sea area didn’t give Netanyahu the boost in the polls that he desires. So obviously he may have to resort to the last resort of starting a war with Iran in order to save his political skin.”

“I see someone launched a drone attack on the oil refinery at the Abqaiq facility and the Khurais oil field run by Saudi Aramco in Saudi Arabia early this morning,” Amadeus noted, “The closure will impact 5 million barrels of crude oil processing per day which is half of Saudi crude oil production and 5 percent of the world’s daily oil production. We may soon see $100 per barrel oil.”

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “The Houthi rebels of Yemen are claiming responsibility for the drone attacks while others are saying that it’s Iran itself behind the attacks. U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo who seems to have replaced John Bolton as the war hawk in the Trump Administration is now making the claim that it’s Iran itself which is behind the attacks.”

Meanwhile in that other corner of the pub, Anubis the Egyptian jackal headed god was reading a copy of the Last Will and Testament of Czar Nicholas II of Russia that was given to him by Virgil the longest serving librarian at the Bodleian Library at Oxford.

Meanwhile the Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis had shape shifted into human form and had traveled back in time and was now a Russian countess at her palatial manor in Saint Petersburg on the eve of the Bolshevik Revolution.

She stood at the window of the manor alongside her dog.

The Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing (who had likewise traveled back in time) approached her.

“Do you know where Apophis is?” Van Helsing asked Atargatis.

“On the battleship Aurora,” the goddess answered.

“That’s what I thought,” said Van Helsing.

Apophis was the Great Serpent in ancient Egyptian religion and the ancient Egyptian god of chaos and destruction.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Saturday September 14th
2019.

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Renfield’s Night of Chopin

September 7, 2019 at 11:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Sports, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Night of Chopin

“Well, you’re looking positively dapper,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to his friend the British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Thanks,” said Renfield who was wearing a tux and tie, “I’m going to An Evening of Chopin put on by the Saint James Court Symphony Orchestra.”

“I seem to recall you went to a similar concert back in September 2012,” Amadeus remarked who had a memory for such things.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “That was the night I met the Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna.”

“Wasn’t she the vampiress who bumped off Lenin back in 1924?” Amadeus inquired.

“She was,” Renfield started whistling the old Russian Czarist National Anthem.

“And didn’t she also flee Poland the night Nazi Germany invaded the country?” Amadeus was trying to remember, “She flew here to London where she was instrumental in helping set up the Polish Government In Exile in London?”.

“She did that as well,” Renfield remembered after several attempts that he didn’t really have to tie a bow tie, “I’m looking forward to seeing her again.”

“I imagine you are,” Amadeus opened the door of the house where the pizza he had ordered was now being delivered.

“I’m planning to ask her for a favour,” Renfield started polishing his teeth with a rock polisher.

“What would that be?” Amadeus opened up the box of the 72-inch pizza he had ordered.

“I’m going to ask her to ask her friends in the Polish government to veto any extension to Brexit past the October 31st Halloween deadline,” Renfield grinned, “any vote to extend the deadline must require the approval of all EU members. She also has several vampiress friends who live in Hungary and the Czech Republic. I’ll get her to ask her vampiress friends in Hungary and the Czech Republic to get those governments to veto the Brexit extension as well. Because 3 vetoes are even better than one. The Neo-Stalinist bureaucrats in Brussels and Jeremy Corbyn will really be shitting themselves once that happens.”

“Does Boris Johnson approve?” Amadeus asked.

“I haven’t told him yet,” Renfield started to put his plaid socks on.

“There’s some talk Johnson might resign as Prime Minister and ask the Queen to ask Corbyn to form a caretaker government sticking him with the whole Halloween Brexit deadline mess,” Amadeus noted.

“That could happen as well,” Renfield nodded, “This past Thursday Benjamin Netanyahu visited London to ask Boris to join him and the U.S. into waging war on Iran.”

“Really?” Amadeus was shocked, “I imagine Jeremy Corbyn if he was Prime Minister would give Netanyahu a definite no on that.”

“Undoubtedly,” Renfield brushed his hair and started slapping on men’s aftershave cologne.

“I saw Dracul Van Helsing in a pub earlier today,” Amadeus said, “He was having trouble deciding who to cheer for in the U.S. Open Women’s Tennis Final. Serena Williams is both his favourite tennis player and also his favourite athlete. So normally he’d cheer for her but then her opponent Bianca Andreescu is Canadian so his patriotic response would have been to cheer for her. So he sat there watching the tennis match not sure who to cheer for.”

“I’m sure another night of tantric sex with the Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom Sophia and Dracul will be happy again,” Renfield put on his Donald Duck feet slippers and headed out the door to the concert.

“I’m sure the London paparazzi will enjoy taking photos of what Renfield is wearing,” Amadeus remarked as he watched his friend go out the door.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 7th
2019.


Passing the torch: Serena Williams and Bianca Andreescu at the U.S. Open Women’s Tennis Final.
Dracul Van Helsing wasn’t sure who to cheer for.

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Dracul Van Helsing, The Goddess Sophia, Yaldabaoth and The Irish Backstop

September 6, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing, The Goddess Sophia, Yaldabaoth and The Irish Backstop

Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom was worried.

What would happen to her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun if a hard border was once again built on the Republic of Ireland-UK Northern Ireland border?

Her son Yaldabaoth was a leprechaun with a serious drinking problem.

He was the only being in all recorded history to be officially banned by court injunction from attending AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings as any meeting he attended invariably ended up with all those present at the meetings falling off the wagon.

Yaldabaoth had the irritating habit of always falling asleep right on the line of the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border.

This was fine as long as the border was an open (rather than a closed) border as it had been ever since the Good Friday Agreement was signed back in 1998.

But Good Friday 1998 might come to an end at Halloween 2019 if there was a no-deal Brexit.

Of course the House of Commons and the House of Lords had just passed a bill brought forth by the anti-Semitic Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to stop a no-deal Brexit from happening this coming Halloween (ironically in this regard Corbyn was fulfilling the agenda of the pro-globalist, pro-EU and New World Order One World Government oriented Rothschilds).

However the trouble was British MP Renfield R. Renfield was backing Boris Johnson in his quest to have Brexit by Halloween 2019.

And Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom being wise knew that one should never underestimate Renfield R. Renfield even though the pro-EU segments of the British Parliament and much of the British and American news media were doing just that.

Boris Johnson may have run out of tricks up his sleeve but Renfield hadn’t.

Already Sophia could visualize a Brexit firecracker exploding in Jeremy Corbyn’s rear end as the clock hit 11:59 PM on October 31st 2019 and Renfield shouted “Trick or Treat” from the window of his room in a Soho whore house.

And if a no-deal Brexit occurred and there was once again a hard Irish border, her son Yaldabaoth could end up buried underneath a concrete wall.

Unlike the American authorities and the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa, she’d know where the body is buried.

But this would be of small comfort to her.

After all, she had told people through the centuries that her son Yaldabaoth was the Demi-Urge who created the material physical universe.

And if it came out that her son was actually an Irish leprechaun with a serious drinking problem who now lay buried under concrete on the Irish border, well, she’d positively die of embarrassment.

Of course Sophia knew that the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was a friend of Renfield R. Renfield.

She figured that if she whipped him up her famous Greco-Egyptian-Irish-Italian-Norse-Greenlander omelette for breakfast and gave him a great tantric sex piece of tail as a midnight offering, he might put in a good word for her with Renfield.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 6th
2019.

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80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

September 1, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

Eighty years ago today at dawn on the morning of September 1st 1939, the German Luftwaffe (Air Force) bombed the Polish city of Wielun a town with no military significance whatsoever. Its sole purpose was to sow terror among Poland’s civilian population. Thousands of people died in the bombings.

At the same time in the Polish coastal city of Gdansk, Nazi German battleships attacked the Polish military base of Westerplatte in that city.

In Warsaw at the same time, a group of men in black who were Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and some of his associates had raided the palatial estate of the Polish vampiress Countess Elena Dubrovna and were looking for her coffin hoping to take her back to Berlin where Heinrich Himmler and Der Fuhrer might make use of her.

They couldn’t find her.

. . .

On January 25th 1938, Heinrich Himmler the head of the SS had given the order for 12 SS officers to perform the ultimate sacrifice for the Fatherland.

They were to allow themselves to be beheaded and their heads would be kept alive in laboratories.

Their heads and minds would concentrate on developing their psychic powers and try to reach a level where they would be able to communicate with the Ascended Masters of the Himalayas who were the progenitors of the Aryan race according to Nazi SS teaching.

On February 14th 1938, the 12 SS officers were finally selected and they were subsequently beheaded after a night of tantric sex with the most luscious and lovely Aryan maidens.

On Lammas Night August 1st 1939, the 12 heads were overshadowed by the Ascended Masters who told Himmler that now was the time to invade Poland.

Himmler communicated the message to Der Fuhrer.

Arrangements were made for a non-aggression pact to be signed with the Soviet Union on August 23rd 1939.

On September 1st 1939, Poland was invaded by the forces of the Third Reich.

World War II had officially begun.

. . .

In London, England on September 1st 2019, an official of Germany’s Federal Intelligence Service (BND) was meeting with an official of Russia’s Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR).

Said a shocked Comrade Stroganoff to a smiling Herr Hanover, “You mean those 12 SS heads are still alive today?”.

“They are,” Herr Hanover nodded.

“Where are they?” Comrade Stroganoff asked.

“Attached to tubes and wires and bubbling away on Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico,” Herr Hanover downed a shooter called Doctor Frankenstein.

“On Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Comrade Stroganoff was flabbergasted, “What was a person of Jewish ancestry doing with the living disembodied heads of 12 SS officers who were beheaded way back in 1938?”.

“You might as well ask what was a person of Jewish ancestry like Jeffrey Epstein doing utilizing a eugenics breeding program to create a master race on his Zorro Ranch? Similar to a eugenics breeding program envisioned by the likes of SS leader Heinrich Himmler?” Herr Hanover shrugged, “The guy was a nut case as well as a pervert.”

“Do the Americans know about the 12 SS officers’ living disembodied heads on Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Stroganoff asked.

“No,” Herr Hanover shook his head, “Otherwise the place would have been raided now by American authorities. Girls being raped by perverts and pedophiles isn’t enough to send the FBI crawling over the ranch with a fine tooth comb. But if a source of esoteric power capable of communicating with higher beings in another dimension was known to be on the ranch, all manner of U.S. government agencies would be falling over one another trying to find the heads.”

“So it’s agreed then that Germany and Russia will share the heads after our joint forces clandestinely raid the ranch?” Said Stroganoff.

“Ja,” Hanover answered in the German affirmative, “Six for us. And six for you.”

Former DARPA contract assassiness Panty Goatee watched the two intelligence officers sitting in their outdoor cafe sidewalk chairs from nearby stairs.

She reached under her skirt, pulled out a gun that sat just above her pantyhose line and shot both intelligence operatives dead.

She then met with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a nearby cocktail lounge where she related what she had overheard.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Sunday September 1st
2019.

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Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing

August 28, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was sitting in his office at 10 Downing Street going over some papers this evening.

Earlier in the day, Johnson had sent three Privy Council members up to Balmoral Castle in Scotland to get Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to prorogue (suspend) Parliament for a month to cut back on the amount of time opposition MPs could use to prevent a No Deal Brexit on October 31st (the biggest Halloween trick or treat in British history).

Outside 10 Downing Street, protestors were shouting “Way hey, ho-ho, this BJ has got to go…”

Inside an adjacent cabinet meeting room, Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was thinking to himself, “What have those protestors got against blow jobs?”.

. . .

BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy was reading the news headlines, “And in other news, U.S. President Donald Trump has blasted the territory of Puerto Rico for having Hurricane Dorian barrelling down in their direction…”

The news clip shows Trump speaking to the media before boarding a helicopter, “I’d just like to say that it’s very very inconsiderate for Puerto Rico to have a hurricane barrelling in their direction for the third time in two years. Not cool at all. Two years ago they were hit by Hurricane Irma and then they were severely hit by Hurricane Maria which caused massive amounts of damage. Then they had the post-Maria nerve to say that it was a disaster and they required emergency aid from Washington DC. Again not very cool. And now a mere 2 years later, Hurricane Dorian is heading towards them. Yet again not very cool. What makes Puerto Rico think that regular American taxpayers will keep bailing them out every time they allow themselves to get hit by a hurricane? Like I say very very inconsiderate of them.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy: Mr. Trump then boarded the helicopter where he got hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit according to descriptions by Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents.

. . .

The Greek goddess Artemis was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a London hotel room.

“Mr. Van Helsing,” Artemis beckoned him, “I’m here to tell you about the suspicious activities that have been happening at the Thule Air Base in Greenland but let’s get down to other business first…”

And that other business that Artemis had in mind turned out to be very pleasant indeed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 28th
2019.

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Amazon On Fire

August 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Amazon On Fire

London-based private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie sat in the New York City office of Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Unbeknownst to Magog and Agathor, Lev Tomi was a vampire.

Hence the reason for the late night meeting.

During his mortal life, Lev Tomi had been the Russian Communist Leon Trotsky.

Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie had recently been deported from Argentina as their investigation into a sex trafficking ring (with possible close ties to the Vatican) was getting a little too close for the powers that be behind the curtains who were secretly running the world.

“Gentlemen,” Lev Tomi took off his wire rimmed spectacles and wiped them, “I want you to go down to Brazil and investigate and find out who’s responsible for setting all the wild fires that are currently burning up the Amazon rain forests which are the lungs of planet Earth.”

“Well according to Jair Bolsonaro the President of Brazil, the ones who set the fires are the NGOs of Brazil since his government slashed funding to them,” Magog noted.

“And do you believe him?” Lev Tomi stroked his dark goatee beard.

“No,” Magog shook his head, “They don’t call him the Donald Trump of Brazil for nothing.”

“Will you take the case?” Tomi asked.

“We will,” Magog agreed.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Cardinal JM (which was his code name) the head of the Vatican Secret Intelligence Service was secretly pleased about the wild fires happening in the Amazon rain forest.

The reason was the upcoming Synod On The Amazon which was being held at the Vatican this coming October.

Cardinal JM and his fellow pagan cardinals at the Vatican (which was actually a great many of them) were hoping to use that synod to overturn 2000 years of Catholic doctrine and liturgy.

And they were hoping to use the ecological crisis facing the Amazon region of South America to be able to do just that.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and French President Emmanuel Macron were meeting in Paris to discuss Brexit and the question of the Irish backstop on the Republic of Ireland/Northern Ireland border.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel in her meeting with Johnson in Berlin yesterday said that if Johnson could come up with a solution to the Irish backstop problem within 30 days, she would be willing to listen.

Macron, on the other hand, like most pompous and arrogant French leaders, was not so accommodating.

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who liked to drink and sleep with part of his body on one half of the Irish border and the other part of his body on the other) watched the Johnson-Macron meeting live on his Samsung Galaxy tablet while drinking from a large keg of Jameson Whiskey and recalling how he had once saved all of Ireland from the Prussian invasion of 1807.

Or was it the Napoleonic invasion of 1808?

He always got those two years and two invasions mixed up for some reason.

The leprechaun fell asleep.

. . .

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was wearing a red Italian Renaissance era style dress and walking down the steps and corridors of the ancient Italian city of Ravenna.

She smiled when she saw Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approach.

“Your Vampiric Majesty,” Dracul greeted her, “I need your help in stopping Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Turkish army from invading northern Syria and massacring Kurds and Christians.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 22nd
2019.

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Lepardia Marango and The Outdoor Concert

August 8, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Lepardia Marango and The Outdoor Concert

Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London checked how she looked before heading out to an outdoor concert at Saint James’ Park in the City of Westminster, central London.

The outdoor concert was being put on by the VW Love Bug Herbies a group of Beatles impersonators.

The concert was to commemorate today’s 50th anniversary of the most famous record cover album photo ever taken – Iain MacMillan’s famous photo of the original Fab Four walking across Abbey Road for the cover of their Abbey Road record album.

Lepardia headed out into the night.

She was to meet British MP Renfield R. Renfield (the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering) at the concert to compare intelligence notes from their respective governments on what was happening in Hong Kong.

Both Lepardia and Renfield had come to the conclusion that the mysterious creature Cthulhu (first mentioned in H.P. Lovecraft’s short stories) and the Black Dragon (supernatural entity advisor to China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping) were both battling for control of Hong Kong as part of each supernatural creature’s geopolitical plan for control of the South China Sea and eventually the entire South Pacific region.

Lepardia arrived at the concert just in time to hear the VW Love Bug Herbies sing “She loves me yeah, yeah, yeah…”

She noticed the Greek god Ares seizing the placard of someone dressed like a 1960s hippy.

The placard read Make Love Not War which was also the motto of John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s famous early 1970s Montreal anti-war sit-in and love-in as it was dubbed at the time.

Ares ripped the placard to shreds.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing noticed the commotion.

He approached the Greek war deity and said, “Hey, Ares, your shoelace is untied.”

Ares (who was wearing Greek sandals) looked down.

That was when Dracul Van Helsing kicked Ares full force in the head.

The war Olympian was knocked unconscious.

Van Helsing noticed Lepardia Marango and waved.

She approached him, “Nice touch using that old “Your shoelace is untied” routine especially on someone wearing sandals.”

“It’s like I commented on someone’s blog tonight,” Van Helsing smiled, “Ares wasn’t exactly the brightest apple on Mount Olympus.”

“Do you know where Renfield is?” Lepardia asked.

“He’ll be here in another hour or so,” Van Helsing replied, “He’s currently interrogating a member of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s janitorial and cleaning maintenance team.”

“That means he might be gone for a while,” Lepardia noted.

“Care to dance?” Van Helsing held out his hand.

“Does this mean, Van Helsing,” Lepardia smiled, “that you want to hold my hand?”.

“It does,” Van Helsing smiled back.

“Well, then, Strawberry Fields Forever,” Lepardia took his hand.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 8th
2019.

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