Atargatis In Alexandria
In the courtyard of the Royal Alexandria Hotel
she sat
the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis
on a late June evening in 1939
Although the sands of time
In various hourglasses
kept turning over
This way and that
The Egyptian god Thoth passed by
holding keys of Time
She saw a man named Quentin Talbot
encounter Thessalonike of Macedon
The half-sister of Alexander the Great
a couple of nights ago in the hotel ballroom
Then the scene shifted to a beach at Dunwich in Suffolk
where Thessalonike was about to sacrifice Quentin
to the old Celtic gods
on a June evening in 2020.
Dracul Van Helsing arrived to save Quentin
from being sacrificed
The next thing Atargatis knew
was she saw Van Helsing
making out with her own daughter Semiramis
In the upper bedroom
Of a Dunwich pub and inn.
Seated in an armchair and holding a spectral glass of spectral red wine
And watching the mortal-immortal sexual encounter on the bed
Was the ghost of Orson Welles
Who said,
Being a peep and watching this makes me feel like King Leer
A voyeur of some importance.
The scene vanished again
And she saw Adolf Hitler encountering Josef Stalin
In an Egyptian tomb
that had been transferred to the dungeon of Castle Dracula
in Transylvania
Hitler and Stalin were playing a chess game
For controlling America in the year 2020
The young Chinese Communist revolutionary Mao Tse-tung
dropped by
And told Hitler to use his white knight to crush a black pawn
Der Fuhrer like all racists
thought all Asians looked the same
And mistaking Mao for one of his Japanese allies
followed the future Chairman Mao’s advice
Stalin moved in for the kill
As Mao applauded
General Robert E. Lee’s battle flag of Northern Virginia
went up in flames across a map of the American south
Followed by the Stars and Stripes going up in flames
Across a map of the entire United States of America
Soon to be replaced by the Hammer and Sickle.
Atargatis leaned back on her chaise lounge as the combined scorpion and Phoenix fan above her kept her cool
A shadow fell across her.
She opened her eyes.
“Van Helsing, I presume?”
She said to the man standing alongside the chaise lounge.
Orson Welles’ ghost found himself in the Royal Alexandria Hotel courtyard
“Once again, I’m a witness… I’m a witness…”
He rang the bell alongside his chaise lounge
to summon the hotel porter to bring him a glass of red wine.
-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 27th
2020.
A Banyan Tree Grows On The Moon
A Banyan Tree Grows On The Moon
Walking the streets of Honolulu in 1946
Was Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion
He was on vacation
After having solved the mysterious case of the Blue Velvet Dandelion
back in LA
He walked through some of the crafts shops in the city
He noticed one belonging to a man who made ships in a bottle
Carson entered the store and looked around
He noticed one ship in a bottle that attracted his attention
“What ship is this?” Albion asked the craftsman
“The Santa Maria,” the craftsman replied
“The Santa Maria?” Carson looked at the ship in the bottle, “That was Christopher Columbus’ flagship in 1492 on his journey to the New World wasn’t it?”
“That’s right,” the craftsman nodded.
“I’ll take it,” Albion paid the craftsman
He walked out of the store and on to the avenue
An elderly Hawaiian woman was at a stand selling coconuts
The private eye looked at the coconuts but wasn’t hungry at the moment
So he didn’t buy.
“A Banyan tree grows on the moon,” the coconut woman shouted after him.
“What?” Albion walked back to her.
“A Banyan tree grows on the moon,” she repeated.
“Oh, okay,” Albion figured that the woman had been adding too much rum to her coconut milk
and decided to continue walking
“What are you planning to do with that ship in a bottle that’s in your shopping bag?” The woman asked him.
Albion wondered how she knew there was a ship in a bottle in his shopping bag
However he answered, “I don’t know”.
“Here’s a small piece of Kapa cloth,” the woman handed him just that,
“Take this pen and write on it what I have told you, “A Banyan tree grows on the moon”. Then put the Kapa cloth with the message in the bottle alongside the ship and throw it in the ocean where the waves will carry it where it may.”
It was a strange request but Albion felt compelled to comply
That night as the Hawaiian moon shone bright on the shore and sands, he threw the bottle with the ship, Kapa cloth and message into the ocean.
It was a late March night in 2020
The streets of London were deserted because of the countrywide lockdown over the Coronavirus
but Dracul Van Helsing had a paper signed by Boris Johnson
granting him permission to walk the streets
To rid the city of any evil nocturnal creatures
As Dracul walked along the banks of the Thames
He noticed a small bottle floating close to the shore
The vampire hunter picked it up
It appeared to be very old
And it almost had the appearance of having travelled all over the world
How did it wind up here on the Thames? he wondered.
He looked inside the bottle
He recognized the ship as being the Santa Maria
He pulled out the small piece of Kapa cloth and noticed the message on it
“A Banyan tree grows on the moon,” Dracul read aloud.
He went back to his London apartment
Carrying the ship in the bottle and its message with him
He went inside the room he used as an office
And saw this vision
“Who are you?” Dracul asked.
“I am Mahina the Hawaiian and Polynesian goddess of the moon”
The woman answered.
-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 29th
2020.
Yaldabaoth, Dracul, Sophia and The Brave New World
Yaldabaoth, Dracul, Sophia and The Brave New World
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing with his former employer (and current landlord) the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the curious political situation unfolding in Canada.
The Justin Trudeau Liberals had introduced into the House of Commons in Ottawa today an $82 billion bailout package to help the Canadian economy cope with the financial and economic fallout from the Covid-19 Coronavirus pandemic.
But included in the bill was emergency Financial Powers legislation that would grant Canadian Finance Minister Bill Morneau (or whoever was named Canada’s Finance Minister) power to raise or lower taxes as well as abolish taxes or establish new taxes until December 2021 without having to seek the approval of Parliament first.
Ignoring Patrick Henry’s statement that “Taxation without representation is tyranny” and George III’s desire to do just that to the American colonies led to the American Revolution.
The leaders of both major Opposition parties in the Canadian House of Commons- Federal Conservative leader Andrew Scheer and Federal New Democratic Party leader Jagmeet Singh while approving of the $82 billion aid package for Canadians did not approve of the Federal Financial powers legislation that would give the Federal Finance Minister carte blanche to rule the Canadian economy by dictatorial fiat.
Therefore they threatened to defeat the bill and being a minority government, the Trudeau Liberals were forced to withdraw it.
However the Trudeau ass kissing sycophants in most of the mainstream Canadian media such as CBC, CTV and Canadian Global News were presenting the news story in such a way as to give Canadian TV news viewers the idea that the Federal Conservatives and the Federal New Democrats were being heartless in wanting to hold up a $82 billion financial aid package that would help ordinary Canadians who were being laid off and losing their income in such extraordinary times.
But the trouble lay with the sneaky and underhanded Canadian Federal Liberals (who had always been sneaky and underhanded ever since the days of Prime Minister William Lyon MacKenzie King – a Canadian Liberal Prime Minister in the 1920s, ’30s and ’40s) who were trying to sneak in dictatorial powers to Canada’s finance minister which were an affront to representative democracy.
But the Canadian media just went along with the dystopian brave new world the Trudeau Liberals were hoping to create.
Today the Canadian government started running ads featuring Dr. Theresa Tam Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer telling Canadians the simple measures they could take to help prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.
Normally Government of Canada ads for the past 40 years always ended with a professional announcer saying “Brought to you by the Government of Canada”.
Today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield clearly heard Justin Trudeau’s voice at the end of the ad saying, “Brought to you by the Government of Canada.”
So Justin was now becoming the voice of an Orwellian Big Brother in Canadian government advertising.
A Canadian Goebbels doing his own voice narration in the midst of a dystopian apocalyptic disaster film reality TV show.
As Renfield remarked to Set, “This pandemic will finally see totalitarian despots who have been in the closet finally coming out of the closet as the rest of the population are told to stay in their homes.”
. . .
Donald Trump meanwhile was telling a Trump ass kissing sycophant from Fox News that he hoped to see every American business establishment currently closed finally open for business by Easter.
“In other words, an American resurrection,” the Trump ass kissing sycophant from Fox News beamed like a moron in ecstasy on Ecstasy.
“Doesn’t that mean an American Crucifixion will have to happen first?” Thought Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun who was currently residing in a rustic country farm house in the American state of Vermont and watching the interview on television.
. . .
Meanwhile Yaldabaoth’s mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian gnostic goddess of wisdom was standing on a rustic country road in southern Italy.
“Ciao, bella,” Dracul Van Helsing greeted her.
“Dracul,” Sophia was shocked, “Aren’t you ignoring what the WHO has to say about social distancing?”.
“I apologize,” Dracul answered, “That was a spontaneous reaction to when I first saw you just now. If Justin Trudeau finds out about this, he’ll be painting his face to look like mine.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 24th
2020.
Inside Magical Mystery Tour
Inside Magical Mystery Tour
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was inside his greenhouse.
He was staring at the late Victorian/early Edwardian era antique mirror that stood in the place where his pot smoking and cannabis exhaling desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever had once stood.
A mirror that reflected neither Justin’s image nor the area of the greenhouse around him.
For within its glass was the image of a closed rare and used book store at the intersection of a dark alley and desolate London street at night.
“Where’s my pot smoking cactus plant?” Justin asked, “I thought I was getting a pot smoking cactus plant called Magical Mystery Tour?”.
“Enter the mirror, stupid,” a voice from the bookshop inside the mirror spoke.
“Did you just tell me to enter the mirror?” Justin asked.
“Brilliant deduction,” the voice answered.
Justin walked into the mirror and found himself standing at the corner of desolate street and dark alley in London.
The only thing within his sight was the closed used book store.
Mist which smelled a lot like pot smoke filled the dark London street.
He decided to try to open the door of the closed book store that was called Tezcatlipoca’s Antiquarium and Rare Books.
Sure enough the door opened and a bell above the door rang indicating a customer was entering the shop.
The old shop owner who was a skeleton covered in cob webs looked up from the cob web and dust covered book he was reading called The Brothers Grimm Grimoire.
He got up to greet Justin and his skull fell off.
Whereupon the rest of his bones fell apart as well.
A volume called Old Yale University Alumni fell off one of the book shelves and landed on top of the skull and bones.
Justin walked to the back of the bookstore where he saw a pot of coffee brewing.
The pot of coffee was next to an antique mirror (much like the one in Justin’s greenhouse) except this mirror reflected the book shelves round about as well as Justin’s own image.
A bony finger emerged from inside the mirror and pointed at the coffee pot and an old ceramic cup bearing the image of what looked to be an old Aztec deity.
“Take and drink,” a voice inside the mirror commanded.
Justin poured himself a cup of coffee.
He added cream that he poured from a small statue of the Egyptian cow goddess Hathor.
He added sugar from packets of sugar marked Uncle Ernie’s Sugar Free Sugar that had the inscription at the back Aleister Crowley approved.
He used a skull insignia emblazoned spoon to stir the concoction.
He drank.
Justin then looked at the mirror and saw this image:
Countess Draculina in front of a castle on the West Coast of Scotland
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 23rd
2020.
Shakespeare Said It Best: All’s Well That Ends Well
Shakespeare Said It Best: All’s Well That Ends Well
“I wonder why Trump spent Thanksgiving in Afghanistan?” Amadeus asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.
“It was apparently decided at a meeting of the U.S. National Security Council this past Wednesday night,” Renfield explained, “They thought it would be safer for Trump to be in Afghanistan than for him to be dropping turkeys from a dirigible on to the heads of innocent passers-by who were visiting the Lincoln Memorial.”
“Why would hurling turkeys from a dirigible be a problem?” Amadeus asked as he ate his turkey sandwich and drank his Ocean Spray Cranberry Cocktail.
“You do know turkeys can’t fly, don’t you?” Renfield with a raised eyebrow asked Amadeus.
“They can’t?” Amadeus stopped eating his turkey sandwich momentarily.
“No,” Renfield snarled.
“Oh,” Amadeus answered with his usual brilliant grasp of the situation that would have sent legendary detective Sherlock Holmes hurling himself in exasperation from the 2nd floor window of 221B Baker Street had Amadeus lived with Holmes rather than Watson.
Renfield’s smart phone went off.
The MP talked and then said, “That’s very good news, Dr. Rocher. Thanks for calling.”
“What was Dr. Cadbury Rocher phoning about?” Amadeus asked as he spilled Cranberry Cocktail all over his white shirt.
“Dr. Rocher has been talking to a Sydney Australia based billionaire named Inn Lu the past week,” Renfield said, “According to Inn Lu, yesterday was an auspicious time mathematically speaking for time travellers to travel back in time and time travel back to Xinjiang China a few months ago and save the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever from being murdered on Xi Jinping’s orders. Unfortunately our two volunteer time travellers the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Dracul Van Helsing couldn’t use the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland because that’s currently undergoing maintenance repairs as a result of the Hindu god Shiva taking disco dance lessons in the tunnel from John Travolta while William Shatner and those members of the Bee Gees who are still alive sang Saturday Night Fever songs backwards. Fortunately Set Enterprises owns a small working time tunnel in the Austrian Alps – the same locale used in the filming of The Sound of Music where ice glaciers and snow fields melted at the melodious voice of Julie Andrews as Maria dancing in the meadows. Dracul and Qonzilqointec had taken a small cactus from the Joshua Tree National Park north of Palm Springs California and substituted it for Strawberry Fields Forever in his holding cell in the re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in Xinjiang only hours after the pot smoking cactus had told his PRC captors “Better dead than red” and Xi Jinping had given the orders for Strawberry Fields Forever’s wish to come true. So it was actually a Palm Springs north socialite cactus who was butchered by Mei-ling Manchu while Ho Babylon Minh video recorded it for Justin Trudeau. Strawberry Fields Forever is now back in the present and currently alive and well while a slice of a wealthy Palm Springs north socialite cactus is now in the possession of Xi Jinping’s gardener.”
“That’s wonderful news,” Amadeus took off his cranberry cocktail laced white shirt just as the matronly middle aged woman who ran the Tewkesbury Bed and Breakfast entered the room.
The sight of Amadeus with his shirt off caused the woman to swoon like a school girl and buckle at the knees and then collapse on to the floor.
“Now look what you’ve done!” Renfield cried out to Amadeus.
“Does this mean we’re not going to get scones and biscuits for high tea?” Amadeus asked.
Meanwhile a Set Enterprises pterodactyl drone flew to Australia to deliver the news to the pot smoking cacti twins Material Girl and Mellow Yellow that their father Strawberry Fields Forever was in fact still alive.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 29th
2019.
Birthday
Birthday
His birthday fell on U.S. Thanksgiving this year.
And he was Canadian.
So his birthday would be being marked south of the border.
Rita Hayworth was his favourite actress.
Although he had daydreamed about her, she had never appeared in any of his dreams as he slept.
Possibly the new year of his life was off to a good start as he had dreamed about her in the early morning.
In his dream, he had been a detective.
And he had been called in with his cousins to solve a mystery of a rock music band who had mysteriously disappeared on his uncle’s farm.
And Rita Hayworth was his assistant who helped him solve the mystery.
Or at least he assumed he had solved the mystery.
He woke up just as he dreamed he was kissing her.
But still that was off to a good start.
Usually he always woke up before he got the chance to kiss any beautiful woman who appeared in his dream.
He walked outside to shovel the snow.
As a great deal of snow had fallen over night.
As he walked down the steps of the house where he rented a basement room, he noticed rabbit tracks in the snow around the front yard.
That was always a good sign for a new year of life.
As rabbits always made him think of his father who had been born in the Chinese zodiac year of the Rabbit.
. . .
Xi Jinping the paramount leader of China wondered who this mysterious Mr. Inn Lu was in Sydney Australia who was hiding a PRC (People’s Republic of China) Ministry of State Security intelligence defector named Wang in one of his Sydney safe houses.
Wang defected with the help of another Ministry of State Security operative the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh).
Ho herself then went and defected to Taiwan.
Xi tried to get ahold of another Ministry of State Security official the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu to try to track down both defectors.
But she didn’t seem to be answering her Huawei smart phone.
. . .
“Well, Mei-ling,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his vampiress friend from Beijing, “What have you come to tell me?”.
“Well,” Mei-ling licked her vampiress incisors with her tongue, “I’ve decided to overthrow China’s megalomaniac totalitarian despot Xi Jinping and make myself Empress of China.”
“An excellent idea,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “what can I do to help?”.
. . .
Inside a time tunnel in a mountain hideout, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to set out with her companion:
“Well, Dracul,” she asked Van Helsing, “are you ready to begin our mission?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 28th
2019.
Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs
Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in the catacombs of Rome.
After having spent Dias de los Muertos down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown from Mexico City to Rome on a mission for Set Enterprises and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Set was anxious to get his hands on the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs that was signed down in the catacombs by various cardinals, bishops and priests at last month’s Pan-Amazonia Synod.
Set feared that in that pact was an alliance treaty signed between his arch-enemy, brother and brother-in-law the Egyptian god Osiris and Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess.
Therefore Set wanted to discover whether talk of an Osiris-Pachamama alliance was in fact true.
So he had talked Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing into searching the catacombs to find a copy of the pact which according to one of Set’s sources inside the Vatican was hidden inside one of the catacomb walls.
Qonzilqointec stood at one of the catacomb entrances waiting for Dracul Van Helsing to catch up:
“Are you coming?” She asked him.
“I am most definitely coming,” Dracul answered as he looked at her.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she threw back her hair and laughed.
“I think in the catacombs, we are somewhat below gutter level aren’t we?” Dracul pointed out.
“That’s no excuse,” she shook her head.
They heard a clop! clop! clop! coming from one of the catacombs.
Then a peculiar voice that sounded like neighing and then singing, “Mr. Ed the Talking Horse! Of course! Of course!”.
Aztec vampiress and Canadian vampire hunter looked and there was a headless horseman (wearing a jack o’ lantern pumpkin for a head) riding a black horse.
A black horse that was wearing tap dancing shoes as it clopped along.
“Excuse me,” Van Helsing asked politely, “but do you know where a copy of the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs might be hidden in the catacomb walls?”.
“Well,” the Headless Horseman blew his carved out pumpkin nose with his handkerchief (a very tricky feat), “I was told by the Pope’s personal Monsignor Master of Ceremonies that a copy of the pact was hid in that wall down there.”
The headless horseman pointed.
“Thanks very much,” Van Helsing smiled.
“No problem,” the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow doffed his hat off his pumpkin head.
As the Headless Horseman’s horse trotted off towards the catacomb entrance with his headless rider, the horse sang his own paraphrased version of an old Charlie Rich song, “Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful mare in the world? And if you did, was she sneezing, sneezing?…”
A song that the horse Bucephalus Reborn sang in tribute to a long lost love of his who had a terrible allergy to hay.
“Got it,” Qonzilqointec grabbed the scroll from the wall.
She unrolled it.
“It appears Set’s worst fears are true,” she noted as she read it.
“I’ll text message him right now,” Van Helsing pulled out his smart phone and proceeded to do just that.
“Well, I suppose we better head back to London,” Qonzilqointec suggested.
“What’s the rush?” Van Helsing looked around, “I wonder what it’s like to make out in the catacombs?”.
Qonzilqointec approached him, “Are you asking me to make out with you in the catacombs?”.
“I am,” Van Helsing answered.
Later as Pope Francis was taking an evening stroll through the catacombs, he got the shock of his life.
“Great life force of the Amazon!” The pontiff exclaimed.
Being used to the confines of the Vatican, he wasn’t used to the sight of two people of the opposite sex making out with one another.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 3rd
2019.
Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec
Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had to return to the Westminster House of Commons today after Britain’s Supreme Court ruled yesterday that his proroguing Parliament for 5 weeks was illegal.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield the United Kingdom’s Deputy Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering (and therefore a member of Johnson’s cabinet) was giving his friend Amadeus Emanon a run down of today’s parliamentary brawls and name calling.
“The Opposition needless to say,” but Renfield said it anyway, “acted like so much braying asses. It seemed that Labour MPs, Liberal Democratic MPs and Scottish Nationalist Party MPs were having a contest to see who could do the best facial impersonation of Swedish teen climate activist Grumpy Greta Thunberg. Simon Cowell would have had a hard time trying to judge a winner. Labour MPs were trying to outdo U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden in showing signs of advanced senility. The Scottish Nationalist Party showed why Scottish independence was so overwhelmingly rejected in the 2014 referendum as the Scots no doubt didn’t want this gang of bozos to be the leaders of their independent nation. The British Liberal Democrats looked like walking advertisements for the Before pictures in posters for an Enema Relief Medical Clinic. It made one wish this was the Taiwanese Parliament where one could use one’s fists and knock the living daylights out of one’s opponents.”
. . .
Meanwhile in Israel, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a telephone conversation with his most ardent supporter in the deep state of the Mossad intelligence service the operative known as Star of Azazel.
“Now that the country’s President Reuvin Rivlin has asked me to stay on as Prime Minister and given me first shot at trying to form a coalition government in the state,” Netanyahu drank a glass of wine in celebration, “I hope you will proceed to do everything possible in ensuring that certain external circumstances outside the country will emerge in such a way as to get other parties to support me when Israel is faced with such a dire external threat.”
Star of Azazel put aside the book of Kabbalistic black magic wizardry and sorcery he had been reading when Netanyahu called and looked at his guests Ares the Greek god of war, Thor the Norse god of thunder and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war who were in his living room.
“We’re working on that, Mr. Prime Minister,” Star of Azazel said before ending the phone call.
Azazel looked at Morrigan who was the most intelligent of the three deities present in the room.
“I’m sure more drones can be sent flying into Saudi Aramco oil refineries,” Morrigan smiled as she smoothed her dress, “and plenty of our agents in Foreign Affairs Ministries and Departments throughout the world can point fingers at Iran.”
Star of Azazel smiled and drank a toast, “Mazel Tov.”
. . .
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec did an Irish jig when she completed dressing prior to going down to the UN General Assembly to give a speech on Climate Change.
“Global warming will definitely hit the UN tonight,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing said when he saw what she was wearing.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 25th
2019.
Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh
Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec took a selfie of herself prior to going out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to meet British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the Irish border leprechaun Yaldabaoth, the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP the Kraken Napoloeon VI and his ex-Gorgon wife Medusa to find a possible solution to the Brexit crisis involving the Irish backstop.
Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had offered to intervene as a mediator in the dispute between Britain and the EU.
Britain’s NHS (National Health Service) had informed Mr. Johnson however that the NHS was not able to give Mr. Quetzalcoatl the amount of living human hearts he required as payment for his mediation services.
Meanwhile the American news media was full of the story that Donald Trump had asked the government of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden’s son Hunter for corruption.
As the American news media were busy wringing their hands over this, Amadeus Emanon the musician and singer who was employed as personal concert pianist to the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was more concerned about a small news story that had appeared in the Wall Street Journal today – a story that was taken down off its news website a few hours later although it could still be found if one used a search engine to search for it but unless people knew that the story was out there, they most likely would not search for it.
The story was the Federal Reserve Bank of New York was offering to add at least $75 billion daily to the financial system until October 10th to ensure the liquidity of the financial system.
The Wall Street Journal added that the Fed will conduct further operations as needed after October 10th.
Amadeus could have asked his employer Set about the matter but the Egyptian god of night and the desert was currently on a vision quest and attending a Cree First Nation sweat lodge ceremony at Elk Island National Park in the Canadian province of Alberta.
So Amadeus went to ask his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering instead.
“Wasn’t the Fed doing something similar to this before the global financial crisis of 2008?” Amadeus asked.
“It was,” Renfield admitted.
“God,” Amadeus turned pale, “I wish you had broken it to me gently in answering this question.”
“Well I’m sorry,” said Renfield, “but I haven’t been in politics as long as Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau have in order to come up with real whoppers to shield people from unpleasant truth and reality.”
Mammon, the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce and patron demon of wealthy elitist oligarchs, isn’t too concerned about the impact that another global financial crisis might have on average folks and those who are struggling below the poverty level
Meanwhile in Australia, a notorious Australian misfit known to all as Uncle Ernie had (because he was stoned out of his mind) walked into the ladies’ washroom of a prestigious restaurant in Sydney’s Chinatown where he encountered the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was currently working for the Chinese Communist government in Beijing:
“Jesus!” exclaimed Uncle Ernie, “I need to get my hands on some Viagra quick!”.
He then passed out.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday September 20th
2019.
Norse Goddess Freya, Dracul Van Helsing, Boris Johnson and The Kraken
Norse Goddess Freya, Dracul Van Helsing, Boris Johnson and The Kraken
The Norse goddess Freya was on the phone talking to Dracul Van Helsing
“Did you see that empty podium next to the Prime Minister of Luxembourg Xavier Bettel at what was supposed to be the press conference between him and Boris Johnson discussing Brexit?”
“And Dracul, you say the reason Johnson avoided the press conference was because the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP The Kraken Napoleon VI had a two for the price of one Buffet coupon that was about to expire in another hour and the Kraken had invited Johnson for lunch?”
“Sure, do come over to my place, Dracul.”
“I’m always up for tantric sex, anytime, anywhere.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 16th
2019.
