Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

April 26, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

Cernunnos the Celtic stag god was walking the streets of Paris carrying his crossbow and poisoned arrows.

He was approached on one of the empty Paris streets by a gendarme who barked at him, “I want to see your papers.”

This sentence so reminiscent of the old Third Reich and the old USSR was heard a lot on the streets of what had previously passed for the world’s democracies these days.

Cernunnos raised his crossbow and shot an arrow.

“Merde,” was the Paris gendarme’s last word before he died.

The Celtic stag god then went to look at the River Seine.

It seemed to be much clearer and more fish in it ever since the lockdown occurred.

Cernunnos looked to the other side of the River Seine and noticed the Greek nature god Pan walking on its banks.

He had been dead for several centuries and now he was back.

Cernunnos went back and listened to a podcast in the Paris apartment he had recently commandeered by slaying its owner.

On it was British MP Renfield R. Renfield who said it was the Industrial Revolution that had ultimately led to the world’s pollution and environmental degradation.

In the post pandemic world, Renfield suggested going back to a more pre-industrial revolution rural society where a lot of products were grown and made locally.

This would help employment locally plus the food produced would be fresher and also free of all the crap that a lot of major global food conglomerates put in the food they sold.

Renfield suggested avoiding being ruled by a centralized global world government that was being advocated by Communist eugenicists like Pope Francis, Bill and Melinda Gates, the WHO and the United Nations.

Renfield quoted the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan who once said, “There’s no more terrifying words in the English language than someone saying, “Hi, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” ‘

Renfield pointed out how helpful the PRC government in Beijing was when they ignored the words of a Wuhan opthalmologist and denied a problem even existed.

Or how the governments of the world did not end travel to and from China at the start of mounting reports of an epidemic with the exception of the usually moronic Donald Trump.

How governments screw up, Renfield said, can be seen on the question of face masks.

Even though the WHO itself said there’s no evidence that face masks stop transmission of the Coronavirus, Renfield noted, “California’s neo-Stalinist governor Gavin Newsom is having people arrested for not wearing face masks. When all this is over, the people of California should revoke Gov. Newsom’s March 2019 moratorium on capital punishment and celebrate the occasion by having Gov. Newsom shot by firing squad. Just like Norwegians revoked their past tradition of long anti-capital punishment laws temporarily after World War II just so they could have the pleasure of shooting Quisling by firing squad.”

“I like this guy,” Cernunnos took a swig of Jägermeister and continued to watch Renfield’s livestream.

“So seeing as how we see governments are constantly screwing up at the local, regional and national levels, what makes you think a world government will be less susceptible to major screw-ups?” Renfield took a swig of whisky, “The bigger the government, the bigger the screw-ups. Smile my friends. The days of fossil fuels are over. This can be seen by the fact the Rockefellers are moving out of Standard Oil. They’ve obviously received insider information that a more environmentally friendly energy source is now on its way. My former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set moved all his money out of oil industry investments at the start of this year. We don’t need a global Communist One World government ending the fossil fuels industry for us. It’s going to happen anyways. Tell Bill Gates where he can shove his 666 Mark of The Beast vaccine. In fact, if you get the opportunity, shove it in that place on Bill Gates’ own person. Then take pictures with your smart phone. When you see the highly unusual multitude of colours suddenly appearing on Bill Gates’ buttocks, then get down on your knees and thank God you didn’t take Bill and Melinda Gates’ 666 Mark of the Beast vaccine. Thank you for listening, ladies and gentlemen. And God bless the alcohol distillery industry.”

Renfield slides off his chair on to the floor as credits are shown on the livestream and the melody of Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory is played.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 26th
2020.

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Aphrodite At Oxford

February 3, 2020 at 11:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Aphrodite At Oxford 

The Greek goddess Aphrodite writing her term paper on the Native American myths surrounding the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo

The Greek goddess Aphrodite had recently returned from the town of Stettler, Alberta, Canada where she had been researching Cree and Blackfoot indigenous myths on the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo.

She was putting the finishing touches on her term paper for the class she was taking in World Mythology and Folklore.

The class was taught by Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford.

His class was extremely popular and hard to get into.

Nevertheless the Greek goddess Aphrodite when visiting Prof. William Charles in his office before the start of this semester was able to convince the famed supernaturalist into letting her into class even though she had no previous formal education.

The subject Underwater Basketweaving While Emerging From A Giant Oyster Shell On The Beaches of Cyprus wasn’t considered a valid academic course in the view of Oxford University.

Although it was recognized by most American colleges and universities as such in order to get the best high school athletes into their college football and basketball programs.

But after a little gentle persuasion from Aphrodite, the famed supernaturalist let the goddess into his class.

Outside the window of the Greek goddess Aphrodite’s dorm room, the Greek god Ares was endeavouring to get inside as he hadn’t seen his sometime girlfriend ever since she started at Oxford.

It just so happened that strolling along the grounds between the various halls and dormitories was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos with his trusted crossbow and arrow (that he used to kill deer hunters).

Cernunnos was heading to an Oxford artists’ studio where he would be posing as a model and subject for Oxford art students to draw and paint.

The original model scheduled for today’s art session had been an Australian named Uncle Ernie (who had once modelled for Salvador Dali).

But Uncle Ernie had been arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport earlier today for trying to enter the country illegally.

When the totally nude and jock less Uncle Ernie had approached the female UK Customs and Immigration officer and said, “I have nothing to declare”, the agent looking at the body parts Uncle Ernie was trying to cover said that she wholeheartedly agreed but nonetheless facial recognition had determined that Uncle Ernie was on Interpol’s watch list of “characters of dubious reputation and ill repute”.

Within seconds, Uncle Ernie found himself on the floor in handcuffs.

Meanwhile back at the Quad on Oxford, Cernunnos had shot the Greek god Ares in the backside with an arrow.

The resulting commotion and screaming caused Aphrodite to open her dorm window which sent Ares plummeting to the Quad grounds below.

Seeing as how Ares was an Olympian immortal, all he would suffer on this day was a pain in the neck and a pain in the backside.

Aphrodite meanwhile grabbed her finished term paper and headed to Prof. William Charles’ office.

The two spent hours long into the Oxonian night discussing the Native American myth of how the great horned buffalo came to be.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday February 3rd 
2020

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