Pan Goatee, Pope Francis and Panty Goatee

October 13, 2021 at 10:46 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Zasmadad Hamani was currently on his first day on the job working in a Mac’s Convenience Store (Mac’s Convenience Stores was a chain of small grocery stores in Western Canada) in Calgary.

He looked outside and suddenly noticed a fat ugly blimp entering the store.

It was just his bad luck that his first customer on the job would be a fat ugly blimp.

Although possiblly not since a large proportion (with an emphasis on large) of Calgary females were fat ugly blimps.

Two other men then entered the store.

Then he looked and lo and behold it was the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly looking women) about to enter the store.

What was he doing in the neighbourhood Zasmadad wondered?

It was said that Goatee rarely ventured out of his own neighbourhood.

Undoubtedly one of Calgary’s most evil citizens who was known as the Wicked Witch Stepdaughter of Voldemort must have done something to get Goatee removed from that neighbourhood.

If Goatee encountered a fat ugly blimp in this store, it would be a blood bath of epic proportions.

And indeed it was.

The fat ugly blimp had about 500 bags of potato chips clutched in her arms and was trying to find a way of clutching 500 more when Goatee said, “Shit! You’re the first fat ugly blimp I’ve encountered in this neighbourhood. I hope you’re the last!”.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He left the store without buying anything.

Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat then entered the store and picked up the remains of the late unlamented fat ugly blimp and put them in a sack that read NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR YOU and carried them down to Hell- Tartarus Sction.

But there was still a Hell of a lot of blood left for Zasmadad Hamani to clean up.

Sheesh! Zasmadad thought as he began swishing the mop with about 24 hours of mopping left ahead of him.

What a way to start a new job!

. . .

Pope Francis was sitting at his desk enjoying a glass of wine with the Fallen Archangel Mephistopheles.

“That Nancy Pelosi is a splendid woman,” Francis remarked, “If I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t mind having carnal relations with a woman like her.”

“Well don’t mention that to Pan Goatee,” Mephistopheles remarked, “He’d behead any moron who’d date a woman like her. Of course Pelosi would fall into the category of thin ugly stoats in the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos (currently in the midst of getting FDA approval. If it was a poisonous “vaccine” aka genetic serum with hazardous side effects up to and including death, it would have been approved already) not quite as bad as the category of Fat Ugly Blimps in that classification system.”

“Who’s Pan Goatee?” Francis asked as he held a stupid looking expression on his face.

For a pontiff who fancied himself so avant garde, he certainly wasn’t much in touch with the contemporary world.

. . .

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had uncovered a secret project that seemed to involve Dr. Anthony Fauci and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

The project was called Operation Silver Shamrock and involved genetically creating serial killers who had been fictional characters in slasher horror films of the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s.

Apparently the first of the Operation Silver Shamrock Serial Killers who was none other than Michael Myers was to be unveiled today October 13th 2021 on the 714th Anniversary of the arrest of the Knights-Templar in France (that happened on October 13th 1307).

Michael Myers was already wandering in the woods near Chapel Hill North Carolina.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield got in touch with people he knew in America.

He made arrangements for Pan Goatee’s younger half-sister Panty Goatee to visit the woods near the University of Chapel Hill at South Carolina.

Panty Goatee found herself a trophy while visiting those woods.

Panty Goatee with the head of Michael Myers.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 13th
2021.

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