Renfield’s Dream of The Mercutio Dachshund Commercial

September 22, 2015 at 7:46 pm (Commentary, Culture, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield’s Dream of The Mercutio Dachshund Commercial

Renfield R. Renfield had taken several aspirins to get rid of his massive headache and had then gone to bed.

He dreamed he was in the living room of the White House in Washington D.C. where the First Family were weeping over a commercial on the large screen TV they were watching.

As President Obama blew his nose into a handkerchief, the commercial began by showing an image of a sad looking Dachshund.

Announcer (with sad voice): Meet Mercutio. You might think that looking at Mercutio that you’re looking at one sad looking Dachshund.

But you’d be wrong. We as a society only see what we see on the outside. We forget that wise old saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover. We allow our preconceived prejudiced notions to reflect our external reality outside.

For you see poor Mercutio isn’t really a Dachshund. He’s a giraffe trapped in a Dachshund’s body.

When Mercutio was a young Dachshund pup, he realized he was different than other Dachshunds.

His friends teased him and told him that he was weird.

Alas! Poor Mercutio. He felt like a total outcast.

Mercutio did not know what was wrong with him until he watched an African safari documentary on the Discovery channel on his owner’s TV set.

That’s when he realized he was actually a giraffe.

A giraffe trapped in a Dachshund’s body.

How little Mercutio longed to stick his neck out and eat the leaves off the tallest trees.

Something that was next to impossible for him to do as a Dachshund.

But which would be as easy as pie (instead of pi) if he were a giraffe.

But alas poor Mercutio!

Most health insurance plans in America do not cover the cost of Transpecies operations to turn him from Dachshund to giraffe.

Most people in America today refuse to accept the reality of the Transpecies community.

They can’t believe that it’s possible to be born into one species’ body while actually being another species.

And that’s why Mercutio looks sad.

That’s why Mercutio feels sad.

That’s why Mercutio IS sad.

Mercutio feels excluded.

Mercutio feels an outsider.

No one accepts Mercutio for who he truly is.

Let’s change that- you and I.

Together we are the change that we can become.

Let’s pressure Congress to change the Medicare laws so that Transpecies operations will be covered under most health care plans.

Let’s we as a nation become more acceptable and tolerant of the Transpecies community.

Let’s understand and show more compassion to the elephant who wants to become a mouse.

The mongoose who wants to become a snake.

Or even our friend Mercutio here.

The Dachshund who wants to become a giraffe.

Let’s make Mercutio’s dream a reality.

(Mercutio starts to smile)

Let’s make Mercutio feel accepted for who he truly is.

(Mercutio starts to grin)

Let’s make Mercutio a giraffe.

(Mercutio starts to grin from ear to ear)

You see that happy smile on Mercutio’s face.

You see what we can do when we become the change we can be.

We’ve just made Mercutio one happy Dachshund… pardon me… one happy giraffe. 🙂

As the First Family watered the living room carpet with their tears and the rainbow lights were once again turned on over the White House, Renfield woke up.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 22nd

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