Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

September 12, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

Pan Goatee was walking across the street when a man and his German shepherd dog happened to walk by.

The dog kept staring at Pan Goatee.

Finally Goatee said to the dog’s owner, “Doesn’t your dog know it’s not proper etiquette to stare?”.

Whereupon he beheaded both the German shepherd and its owner.

A little further down the street came an ugly looking woman riding a bicycle.

“What is it about autumn that seems to bring out ugly looking women on bicycles?” Goatee thought to himself.

The woman looked like she had stuck all her fingers and all her toes in an electric socket as her hair style seemed to resemble that of the Bride of Frankenstein on a bad (as opposed to her usually good) hair day.

“Good-bye, uglo,” Goatee commented as he beheaded her.

. . .

“What do you think of my naming Kermit the Frog as my national security advisor?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington, “Do you think that I should give old Kermy a call?”.

“A most inspired choice,” Lexington admitted.

. . .

Meanwhile on the second day of the Canadian Federal election campaign, a Liberal Party campaign bus had struck and clipped the wing of the Liberal Party campaign plane on the airport tarmac outside Victoria, British Columbia.

After an investigation conducted by the Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom (a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula that was analogous to Scotland’s Village of Brigadoon although the hippy commune appeared once every 7 years instead of once every 100 like the mythical Scottish village) who was in charge of Airport Security, it was determined that the driver of the bus was a robot built and assembled by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh Computer Electronics in Shanghai, China.

Of course the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were both Beijing government intelligence operatives believed to have been involved in the cactusnapping, torture and subsequent murder of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in retaliation for the U.S. ordered Vancouver arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.¬†

A spokesman for the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa issued a statement, “The People’s Republic of China can neither confirm nor deny that it is seeking to bump off Justin Trudeau.”

Later that day, Justin Trudeau came down with food poisoning in Edmonton after eating at Ho-Ho’s Chinese Food on the University of Alberta campus.

. . .

The Egyptian god Anubis was out walking the streets of London at night when he happened to run into British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

“Evening, Anubis,” Johnson greeted him in Ancient Greek seeing as how he had been a Classics scholar at Oxford, “How are you? Tell me, why is it these days (and nights) that you’re now sporting a metallic cyborg jackal head when you used to have an actual real animal jackal head?”.

“Well, a few years ago, I was beheaded by Pan Goatee when I happened to look at him the wrong way,” Anubis explained, “and of course being immortal, I didn’t die when I was beheaded. But it just so happened that an overly frisky Dobermann ran off with my jackal head that night and I was unable to get it back. So Dr. Cadbury Rocher from my dad’s research and development firm Set Enterprises kindly built this new metallic cyborg jackal head for me.”

“Jolly decent of him,” Johnson answered in Ciceronian Latin.

“Tell me,” Anubis asked Johnson in koine Greek, “why do you feel it’s imperative that Britain leave the EU with or without a deal on Halloween?”.

“Well,” Johnson replied in ancient Carthaginian, “the demons Baal and Baphomet have commissioned a Vatican Cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman to say the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this Halloween on the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border which will forever enslave all of Britain to the Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis European Union that George Soros, Pope Francis and the Rothschilds are seeking to build.”

“Wow, what a bummer,” Anubis started having flashbacks of what the overly frisky Dobermann did to his jackal head that night.

“Yes, quite the shitty situation,” Johnson recited in 21st Century contemporary English prose.

. . .

“So,” Russian President Vladimir Putin asked his guest Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Moscow, “can you tell me if it’s true that this coming September 25th 2019¬†(which is the 5780th anniversary of the day that Jewish tradition holds that the world was created) that the Israeli Sanhedrin has invited the Organization of 70 Nations to perform an animal sacrifice on the Mount of Olives to renew the Noahide Covenant?”.

“The government of Israel can neither confirm nor deny that,” Netanyahu answered.

“Can you tell me if it’s true,” Putin then asked, “what it said in that article in Politico magazine that Israel has been spying on the U.S. in a StingRay operation ever since Donald Trump moved into the White House?”.

“That is a blatant lie,” Netanyahu wagged his finger, “the Israeli government does not spy on nor engage in intelligence operations in the U.S.!”.

Putin looked out the window of his office where he noticed a Jeffraken (a Kraken with the head of Jeffrey Epstein) walking down the street waving an American flag and carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag.

“Why did your nose grow bigger after you made that statement?” Putin asked.

“My nose did not grow bigger,” Netanyahu started to protest until he looked at himself in the mirror, “Oh shit, it did.”

Netanyahu knew he couldn’t hit the Israeli campaign trail this weekend looking like a Disney cartoon character wooden puppet who gets his advice from a cricket.

The Israeli Prime Minister put in a hasty call to the Doctor Faberge Rachmaninoff Plastic Surgery Clinic in Moscow.

. . .

In Hong Kong, British MI-6 Operative Lili Marlene sat in a Hong Kong lounge next to a large marble head of the immortal princess Kwan Yin (who was venerated as the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy by some groups of Buddhists):

Lili Marlene was a French woman and so used to work for France’s external intelligence agency the DGSE.

However last year, French President Emmanuel Macron had made a pass at Lili Marlene’s mother at a Parisienne cocktail party.

Within 24 hours, an angry Lili Marlene had defected to Britain’s MI-6.

Today she was in Hong Kong keeping tabs on the supernatural power struggle between the ancient Great Old One Cthulhu and the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 12th
2019.

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Much Ado About Meng Wanzhou

December 8, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )


Meng Wanzhou: The Face That Launched A Thousand Deaths

Retribution was swift.

Numerous leading officials in the U.S. State, Justice, Trade and Commerce Departments were found dead with poisoned chopsticks inserted into their necks.

Donald Trump woke up in horror to discover that someone had put chicken fried rice and sweet and sour pork spare ribs in his toupee.

Officials at both the Canadian and U.S. Embassies in Beijing had come down with the worst cases of diarrhea in all recorded history.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the immortal daughter of the infamous Dr.Fu Manchu Manchu that British writer Sax Rohmer had written about) had gone to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s greenhouse in Ottawa and wearing a pair of metallic spiked leather gloves had kidnapped Justin’s beloved pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever. He would be released upon the release of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhou from a Canadian prison. Distraught, a tearful Justin had called an emergency Federal Canadian Cabinet meeting on the issue. He was thinking of evoking the Emergency War Measures Act like his father Pierre Elliot had done when British Trade Commissioner James Cross and Quebec Labour Minister Pierre Laporte had been kidnapped by the FLQ back in October 1970.

His Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland slapped Justin’s face and told him to get a grip on reality.


The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu just prior to putting on a pair of spiked metallic leather gloves and kidnapping the Canadian Prime Ministerial official marijuana pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant of Justin Trudeau.


Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland forced to slap Justin’s face when he started babbling about calling upon the ET gray Gali-Gula and an invasion fleet from planet Nibiru for help.

Meanwhile Australian poet David Redpath was happy to report that Strawberry Fields Forever’s two pot smoking and cannabis inhaling desert cactus plant children (a son named Octopi Garden and a left leaning daughter named Octopi Wall Street) were both safe and sound in his home in Australia.

Apparently Redpath’s once buying the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and a woman who now worked for the Chinese Intelligence Service) some green tea and a Vietnamese pork submarine sandwich in a Sydney restaurant had put the poet in Ho’s good books.

Meanwhile leading officials in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office were now dying en masse after their marijuana cigarettes were all laced with arsenic by Chinese agents.

Similarly RCMP officers and CSIS agents were keeling over by the bucket load (before they had the chance to complete their bucket lists) all across Canada after egg rolls and chop suey they had received had all been heavily laced with polonium-210.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher refused to provide them with the antidote to polonium-210 poisoning that he had developed since his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was personal friends with Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

And so numerous orphans and widows were being created in Canada and numerous undertakers and funeral homes would be doing a booming business in Canada next week as a result of the cowardly Justin Trudeau’s surrender of Canadian national sovereignty to America’s Trump Administration and its unilateral embargo against Iran.

Justin was doing this all for a man who belittled and ridiculed him (the ghosts of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey were both speculating that Justin might be a latent homosexual masochist with a cougee like infatuation and obsession with the older man).

And Trump was following a stringent anti-Iran agenda because his ultimate dream in life was to continously kiss the buttocks of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Truly the days of Sodom and Gomorrah were upon the world as Christ prophesied would be one of the signs of his 2nd Coming.

And speaking of Sodom and Gomorrah, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the Chinese Intelligence Service operative Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were now in San Francisco to deliver a poisoned apple to Apple CEO Tim Cook on behalf of the Chinese government.


Ho Babylon Minh: Bearing poisoned apples to Cook.

Meanwhile in British Columbia, the Vancouver International Airport was undergoing massive aerial bombardment of seagull droppings from 10 million Chinese seagulls.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 8th
2018.

And down in Mexico City, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was engaging in tantric sex with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (who had dyed her hair blonde for a TV commercial she had been appearing in)

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Mei-ling Manchu and Kim Jong-un’s English Lord Adviser

August 1, 2017 at 4:34 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Beijing-based Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was starting to worry about one of her vampiric sires- Lord Byron Jennings.

She had kidnapped Byron Jennings 84 years ago in London when he was an 8-year-old boy and had brought him back to China with her.

Mei-ling Manchu had celebrated the birth of the People’s Republic of China on October 1st 1949 by allowing a vampire to bite her on the neck and turn her into a vampiress.

She had turned her protege Byron Jennings into a vampire on June 25th 1950 to celebrate North Korea’s invasion of South Korea.

When Kim Jong-un was declared supreme leader of North Korea on December 28th 2011, Beijing sent the Englishman Byron Jennings to Pyongyang to serve as an adviser to the new young North Korean leader.

Just over a month ago, Byron Jennings celebrated his 67th vampiric birthday June 25th of this year by claiming his long dead late grandfather’s lordly title in the British House of Lords.

Now the Maoist Communist Lord Byron Jennings was plotting with Kim Jong-un the destruction of the United States of America.

Mei-ling Manchu felt that her Communist and vampiric protege Lord Byron Jennings and Kim Jong-un were going too far this time.

So Mei-ling Manchu arranged a secret meeting in Tokyo with South Korean National Intelligence Service agent and former vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

There at that meeting, Mei-ling Manchu delivered to Hyung Grace Kwan everything she knew about the evil plans of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and his Communist British Lord adviser Lord Byron Jennings.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 1st
2017.

Mei-ling Manchu prior to her meeting with Hyung Grace Kwan in Tokyo.

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Dracul Van Helsing and The 84-Year-Old Kidnapping Mystery

May 18, 2017 at 4:03 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing had just received a text message from the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

She had gone to Pyongyang North Korea and convinced her husband Hephaestus to stop building missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He agreed.

The trouble was he had already built 666 missiles for Kim Jong-un.

And the missile of his that North Korea had launched this past weekend had been successful.

In addition, an ancient Persian talismanic image that had been painted on each missile (showing the image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull with the words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image) seemed to ensure the missiles’ success.

Kim Jong-un had been instructed to paint the image and the accompanying Latin slogan on his missiles by a beautiful Korean vampiress who was a disciple of the Persian demonic god-prince Ahriman.

The Korean vampiress appeared wearing a white gown to Kim Jong-un and gave him his instructions.

She was known to Kim only as the Mysterious Woman In White.

Aphrodite’s information to Dracul had been confirmed in a report sent to him by his friend Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

Whitstable did not tell Van Helsing that the source for his information was Dracul’s ex-girlfriend the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan (now an agent for the South Korean National Intelligence Service who was currently spying in North Korea).

Dracul decided to phone Whitstable to further discuss the report.

After rehashing what had been said in the original report, Whitstable said, “Oh Dracul, there’s something else.”

“What would that be?” Dracul asked.

“Kim Jong-un apparently has an advisor- an Englishman who was loaned to him from the People’s Republic of China,” Whitstable stated.

“An Englishman who used to work for the People’s Republic of China and now works for North Korea’s dictator?” Dracul was amazed, “Who is this Englishman?”.

“Do you recall reading in your history books about the kidnapping of Byron Jennings back in the early 1930s?” Whitstable inquired.

“That was the case referred to by the North American press at the time as Britain’s Charles Lindbergh Jr. Kidnapping,” Dracul recalled, “although Byron Jennings was considerably older than Charles Lindbergh Jr. Byron was the grandson of a leading member of the British House of Lords at the time Lord Oswald Jennings as well as the son of a not so leading British Conservative MP of the day Spencer Jennings. Rumour had it that Byron had been kidnapped by Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life Fu Manchu.”

“That is correct, Dracul,” Whitstable acknowledged, “and that’s who is currently advising Kim Jong-un. None other than Byron Jennings who was kidnapped as an 8-year-old-boy 84 years ago.”

“Good lord,” said Dracul, “he must now be in his 90s.”

“He is,” Whitstable admitted, “but he doesn’t look it. He’s a vampire.”

“Really?” said Dracul, “Who turned him into a vampire?”.

“Mei-ling Manchu the daughter of Fu Manchu,” Whitstable answered, “who’s currently alive and Undead and well and living as a vampiress in Beijing.”

After talking with Whistable for a while longer, Dracul then telephoned Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard and told him to finally close the books on an 84-year-old kidnapping mystery.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 18th
2017.


Mei-ling Manchu becoming a vampiress after becoming a red dress Communist.

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Mei-ling Manchu

May 16, 2017 at 4:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The year was 1933.

And the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was paying a visit to Britain’s House of Lords to see his friend Lord Oswald Jennings give a speech on China in the House of Lords.

Lord Oswald Jennings had a son Spencer Jennings who was the British Conservative MP for the constituency of Stamford On The Welland.

And Spencer Jennings had an 8-year-old son Byron Jennings.

In the opinion of the said vampire billionaire who called himself Mr. Sol Invictus Set, Byron Jennings was a spoiled brat.

But fortunately Lord Oswald Jennings did not invite Set back to his home after the speech where his son and daughter-in-law and spoiled brat grandson would be attending.

Instead he invited Set to dinner at his club.

“I agree with you,” Lord Jennings winked at Set over a brandy, “my grandson is a brat. I find Spencer and his airhead wife Lillian are too enamoured with this progressive education nonsense. Letting the child do exactly whatever he wants.”

After dinner and brandy at the club. Sol Invictus Set walked out into the night.

He noticed a very attractive young Asian woman walking up the street.

She was wearing a black dragon emblazoned red dress slit up the sides in that sleek chic oriental fashion that Set found so arousing.

It’s too bad that he had to rush home as he was expecting a phone call from Stanley Baldwin. Otherwise he’d have asked the beautiful young woman out for a drink.

But the beautiful young Asian woman had plans of her own.

For she was Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life scientist Dr. Fu Manchu who was so grossly slandered in Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.

Her father feared that Lord Oswald Jennings was far too sympathetic to the idea of Japanese control over Manchuria and quite possibly the rest of China.

Thus he had instructed Mei-ling to kidnap Lord Jennings’ grandson Byron hoping to influence His Lordship away from a pro-Japanese position.

How Mei-ling wondered, would she do it?

She noticed a boy standing at the corner looking through the window of a bookshop.

She looked at the photo of Lord Jennings’ grandson that her father had given her.

Then she looked at the boy on the corner.

They were the same individual.

She walked up to the boy.

Ironically, the boy was looking at the cover of one of Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.
Daughter of Fu Manchu

Said Byron (who was about as horny as his poetic namesake), “Wow. I’d like that woman on the cover to take me home and spank me.”

“Oh, this was going to be easy,” Mei-ling smiled to herself.

“How’d you like me to take you to my home and give you a spanking?” Mei-ling adjusted the slit skirt of her dress.

“Okay,” said the boy.

So kidnapping the grandson of Lord Oswald Jennings turned out to be as easy as taking candy from a baby.

And quite possibly the boy might even cease being a brat under Mei-ling Manchu’s tutelage.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 16th
2017.

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