Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

November 2, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

Down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was marking Dias de los Muertos by beheading various notorious drug dealers making them join the ranks of the dead.

The beheading spectacle was pissing off Santa Muerte the self-proclaimed patron saint of drug dealers.

Qonzilqointec’s approach to dealing with drug dealers was not something that was done by American agencies who seemed to operate in a Pope Francis anti-capital punishment limp wristed pansy style fashion when it came to dealing with the problem.

Which is why America was losing the War on Drugs.

Over a year ago, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had conducted a one man commando raid down in Mexico in which he had dismembered and beheaded the entire membership of a drug trafficking gang who called themselves the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

If Renfield’s action had been emulated by American agencies, it might not be necessary for the U.S. to build a wall as was proposed by a certain toupee wearing bozo in the Oval Office since those who would be coming north of the border would be those families in search of a better life for themselves instead of drug dealers seeking to maximize their profits on American streets.

. . .

In Washington DC, Donald Trump had tweeted a tweet,

@realDonaldTrump Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is a great guy. Wonderful guy. Very highly intelligent guy. Said in recent interview that I’m America’s best President. Very astute and sound judgement.

. . .

Meanwhile in London, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was riding his horse Bucephalus Reborn through a London park in search of his jack o’ lantern pumpkin head.

His head had been blown off in a terrific wind storm that had hit central London this past Wednesday night.

The Headless Horseman did manage to borrow a new jack o’ lantern pumpkin head from the kitchen of the Saint James Court Hotel where he was staying this past Halloween night but still he missed his old head.

His old jack o’ lantern pumpkin head had been autographed at the back by Scottish actor Sir Sean Connery.

So now he had been hoping to see if his head had blown into this particular park.

He came across London’s famous Witch Hazel who was holding his head:

After Buchephalus Reborn had performed the old Irish Rovers jig Dance of The Sugarplum Fairies at Witch Hazel’s request, Witch Hazel returned the head to the Headless Horseman.

Off rode Friedrich with his favourite head on his shoulders again as the back of the jack o’ lantern pumpkin told passers-by, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Saturday November 2nd 
2019.

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Gali-Gula Proposes An NRC Contract Assassin, Cthulhu On California Coast and The 3 Fates of Greek Mythology

August 6, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Gali-Gula Proposes An NRC Contract Assassin, Cthulhu On California Coast and The Three Fates of Greek Mythology

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was feeling depressed.

The reason?

Deteriorating relations with Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦.

Canada had called for the release of Saudi-American woman human rights campaigner Samar Badawi from jail after being arrested by the so-called “reform” government of asshole Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.

Saudi Arabia over the protest froze all trade with Canada and expelled Canada’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦.

One of the Saudi government’s verified Twitter accounts showed an image of a Saudi plane flying towards Toronto’s famed CN Tower about to crash into it (thus supporting British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s theory that some high Saudi government officials secretly backed Osama bin Laden and the 9/11 attacks).

The tweet was later deleted but had been caught by Canadian Government computer screenshots.

Inhaling marijuana smoke breathed out by Strawberry Fields Forever the Canadian Prime Minister’s pot smoking desert cactus 🌵 plant inside the greenhouse, Gali-Gula the ET gray from Nibiru appeared to the pot inhaler Justin Trudeau and suggested that the NRC (National Research Council of Canada) create an NRC equivalent of DARPA contract assassin Pan Goatee who will conduct assassinations on behalf of the Canadian government.

Justin replied that was a good idea and said in the meantime that he was going to ask British MP Renfield R. Renfield to pay a visit to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman given Renfield’s recent triumphant victories over the Russian Wolves nationalist motorcycle gang and the Mexican Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel.

. . .

Cthulhu the several hundred metres tall giant octopus 🐙, dragon 🐉 and human (first foreseen by early 20th Century American horror writer H. P. Lovecraft) was approaching the City of San Francisco, California.

“Oh shit,” said Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi on the deck of her boat when she saw him approach and proceeded to do just that.

Giving a whole new meaning to the term Poop 💩 Deck.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield wearing a t-shirt that said PSYCHOPATHS 4 GOOD (that was bought for him by New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont after his recent massacre and mass bodily dismemberment of the entire Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel) and a pair of Pan Goatee image emblazoned Hawaiian style boxer shorts was giving a speech to the Annual August Summer Banquet of the London Press Club.

Sitting in the audience were the 3 beautiful Fates of Greek Mythology- all of whom had become quite smitten with Renfield.

Renfield began his speech, “In the words of a great wise man… a journey of a thousand miles always begins… with a trip to the washroom.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 6th
2018.

The 3 Fates of Greek Mythology listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield speak at the Annual August Summer Banquet of The London Press Club

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Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

August 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Science, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was disappointed to read on his BBC News App that the drone attack assassination attempt on Venezuelan 🇻🇪 President Nicolás Maduro had failed.

Renfield had asked Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher to design some explosive drones for him which the great scientist had done.

Renfield had then sent the explosive drones to his ally the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez who along with Renfield had long been plotting the overthrow of the Marxist despot Maduro.

Francesca had hired some anti-Maduro Venezuelan Air Force Officers to carry out the attack.

Sadly they had failed.

Oh well, Renfield thought bitterly, if you want the job done, you generally have to do it yourself.

What with plotting against both Russia’s Putin and Turkey’s Erdogan in Europe, he had very little time these days to go to Latin America and overthrow or successfully assassinate Maduro.

A fact which he had often complained to his spectral friend the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill about.

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont cleared her throat.

For the British MP was supposed to be having dinner with her and her boyfriend the British concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in a London pub.

Renfield remembered his manners (especially after recalling his latest session with dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes) and paid attention to Amadeus and Angelique’s discussion about the new Winnie The Pooh film the couple had just seen – Christopher Robin.

“Angelique, is that you?” A very beautiful and tearful 😢 young Mexican woman in a red rose patterned summer white dress approached her.

“Conchetta?” Angelique rose to hug and comfort her friend, “what’s wrong?”.

“I just received a text message from my best friend Artemisia back home,” Conchetta wept, “My entire family- mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins- in fact the whole entire village have been wiped out- massacred by the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel. Somehow miraculously Artemisia managed to escape- the only one in the entire village who managed to escape.”

Conchetta tearfully managed to relate the whole story to the trio.

Amadeus and Angelique sat there in a total state of shock.

As did Renfield.

Who also was overtaken by the greatest surge of anger.

“Amadeus, do you know if the Boss,” Renfield was referring to his former and Amadeus’ current employer the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “still has his private Concorde jet on standby at Heathrow?”.

“I believe so,” said Amadeus.

Renfield excused himself paying his share of the bill.

He then rushed back to the Set Mansion in West London where he picked up some special supplies.

On his way out to Heathrow in the limousine, he conversed with friends he knew in the various world intelligence services about the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

He boarded Set’s private Concorde jet and within a few hours arrived in Mexico 🇲🇽 only kilometres from the colossal villa that served as the headquarters of the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

. . .

The Disciples of Santa Muerte didn’t know what hit them.

It had in fact been a Tesla sound wave pulse recently re-discovered by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The sound wave paralyzed all the Disciples preventing them from moving.

It didn’t however shut off their nerve and pain sensations or vocal cords for that matter as Renfield could tell from the fact that as he slowly and painfully dismembered them bit by bit, he could still hear a small portion of their loud and shrill agonizing screams through the soundproof earplugs he was wearing.

Renfield’s friend the ghost of Orson Welles was on hand with his ghostly cameras and ghostly lighting crews to film the gory and bloody and excruciatingly slow and painful 😣 bodily dismemberments which the enormous talent of a film director would upload to YouTube later.

Renfield took the decapitated heads of all the slain Disciples of Santa Muerte and posted them on spikes in the Rose Garden of the White House on top of the garden wall underneath a large banner that read I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.

The dismembered hands he put in the glass display case of the expensive gloves department in the exclusive Saks Fifth Avenue store in New York City.

The dismembered feet he put in an expensive Nike shoes display in the same Saks Fifth Avenue store.

Thighs and legs he put outside KFC stores in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Arms and elbows he put inside display cases in the Baseball ⚾️ Hall of Fame in the village of Cooperstown, New York.

The armless, legless and headless carcasses of cadavers he put outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Chicago underneath a banner that read Just On The Extremely Minuscule Off Chance You Happen To Run Out of Human Body Parts To Sell To Global Food Conglomerates and Pharmaceutical Companies.

. . .

Q-Amon the great sorcerer and former Egyptian Pharaoh had one literal Hell of a massive bowel movement on his Columbian cocaine plantation when he heard about the wholesale slaughter of every single member of the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel in Mexico 🇲🇽.

Renfield’s action was immediately publicly condemned by Pope Francis and his lavender clique of flashy flaming Liberace style priests for failing to take into account the personal nobility of soul of all the drug gang members.

The action also launched an intense public debate among commentators, analysts and self-proclaimed journalists on YouTube on whether or not this new Machiavellian and Genghis Khan Style approach to the War On Drugs might prove more effective than the limpwristed style approach to the War on Drugs that had been conducted by the U.S. government and its allies for the past 35 years which seemed to be going absolutely nowhere.

One Fox News commentator even speculated (for which he was soundly condemned in a tweet by Donald Trump) on whether this new Renfieldian approach to the Latin American drug cartels might deem the Trumpian need to build a wall on the southern border of the U. S. totally unnecessary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 4th
2018.

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