In An English Country Garden

May 7, 2021 at 10:13 pm (books, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Charlotte in an English country garden

“Miss Charlotte?” Dracul Van Helsing asked.

“I’m Charlotte Williams,” the woman smiled.

“The Emperor Napoleon is not with you?” Van Helsing inquired.

“He’s down at a village pub talking to a fellow named Renfield,” Charlotte answered.

“Trust Renfield to be up to speed on cosmic happenings,” Van Helsing had to admit.

“Come with me to the library,” Charlotte said.

“All right,” Van Helsing agreed.

In the library, Charlotte Williams handed Van Helsing a book Claudius’ History of The Etruscans.

“I thought this book was lost to history,” Van Helsing thumbed through it, “Let alone an English translation was available of it.”

“Napoleon had that book in his library in his house on the island of Saint Helena,” Charlotte walked into the country estate manor’s living room where there was a piano.

She sat down and played Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.

“I wonder how it got here,” Van Helsing sat down in a chair with the book and listened to Charlotte play.

“I don’t know,” Charlotte continued to play.

Van Helsing’s smart phone rang.

He answered it and talked briefly.

“Talk to you soon, Whitstable,” Van Helsing put his smart phone back in his pocket.

“Whitstable?” Charlotte looked at Van Helsing.

“A friend of mine,” the vampire hunter explained.

“When the Emperor Napoleon was talking to the Phoenix Woman Andrea Angelicus, he said there were sketches on the second last page of that book Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Charlotte explained, “Sketches that Napoleon himself drew of visitors he saw a few days before he died. Sketches that he put in the book after they left. Napoleon after talking with Andrea said he’d give the sketches to Whitstable.”

Van Helsing went to the second last page of the volume and removed some very old looking pieces of paper.

He took a look at them.

They were sketches of ET T-Rexes emerging from a UFO flying saucer shaped craft.

“Sinister looking things,” Van Helsing noted, “I imagine Whitstable will be grateful to receive the sketches. But whoever these beings are, they look like super nasty and super tough customers.”

“Someone can defeat them,” Charlotte continued to play Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 7th
2021.

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The 200th Anniversary of Napoleon’s Death

May 5, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Education, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

It was 200 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte (Napoleon I Emperor of the French) died on the island of Saint Helena.

French President Emmanuel Macron marked the bicentary of Napoleon’s death by laying a wreath at Napoleon’s tomb at Les Invalides in Paris.

Macron in an address to the French nation said, “Napoleon is a part of us.”

“That’s very true,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield commented as he watched the address on television.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” His friend Amadeus Emanon asked.

“That is the 200 million franc Napoleonic gold coin question,” Renfield answered.

The Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI and was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party laid a wreath at the original Napoleon’s tomb accompanied by his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon.

In the Underworld of Hades, the Greek deity Hades had received a request to grant Napoleon Bonaparte a temporary dispensational release from the realm of Hades to mark the 200th anniversary of his death.

“Are you going to do that?” One of Cerberus’ three heads asked.

“I’m mulling it over,” Hades replied as he sipped some mulled wine.

In the Elysian Fields where Napoleon was residing (he had spent some time in Purgatory but was still not eligible to enter the Paradise of the Blessed or the Heaven of the Saints so he now lived in the Elysian Fields where the heroes of pagan antiquity resided) the Emperor was walking through some of the Elysian gardens when he came across this vision,

“Oh, My God,” Napoleon cried out.

“Oh, the void, the void,” Charles Darwin cried from far far away on his rotating barbeque spit over an open flame down in Tartarus.

The woman turned and gazed in his direction, “You look like the Emperor Napoleon.”

“That’s because I am the Emperor Napoleon,” Napoleon said.

“My name is Charlotte,” said the woman, “And I apparently died on the same day you did. May 5th 1821. Although I was 30 years younger than you.”

“You sound English,’ said Napoleon.

“That’s because I am an Englishwoman,” Charlotte answered.

“I never did have good relations with the English,” Napoleon sighed.

“Maybe you should change that,” Charlotte smiled.

Meanwhile the 3-headed dog Cerberus was walking towards the Elysian Gardens.

One of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Napoleon.

Another of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Charlotte.

And the third of Cerberus’ heads was singing the song, “In an English country garden…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 5th
2021.

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The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem

June 18, 2015 at 7:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem

It was an octopus
with metallic hooks for tentacles
and could squeeze the life out of you
and puncture you at the same time
a stitch in time does not save nine
as it had killed 9 people today
as it slithered and made its way.

It had been an octopus once caught
in a net coldly fraught
cast by a mind
not hard to find
a mind thoroughly pragmatic and calculating
scientific progress at all cost was for him the thing
for him to achieve this, he’d stop at nothing.

He caught the octopus and went to the lab
for him beetles four were just not fab
he fed the radioactive Egyptian scarabs to the octopus
and let cosmic nature take its course for this.

The octopus became stronger
yes, not much longer
Then he filled the lab with temperatures cold
so this octopus would not be growing old
Then attached the robotic hooks to the tentacles
while silently laughed a god of pentacles.

And the dying from a fatal disease mad doctor then uploaded his consciousness into the beast
and then emerged from the tank prowling to see on whom he could feast.

Napoleon VI the talking cyborg octopus called himself
A name he chose having helped himself to bits of the Little Corporal’s brains on the shelf.

And so on this 200th Anniversary of Waterloo
the state of the human race will soon be through
As Napoleon VI rises from the depths of the very deep and encircles the globe
not having read the encyclical on Climate Change written by Rome’s bishop in white robe.

-A horror poem
written by Christopher
Thursday June 18th
2015 on
The 200th Anniversary
of Napoleon’s defeat
at the Battle of Waterloo.

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Renfield and Amadeus Listen To BBC World News On The Radio

February 12, 2014 at 8:01 pm (Commentary, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Movies, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield and Amadeus Listen To BBC World News On The Radio

As Renfield entered the library, he noticed that Amadeus was crying bucket loads of tears into his unspilled glass of milk.

The BBC World News was talking about the red storm warning that the British Meteorological Office had just issued.

Renfield looked out the window and noticed their next door neighbour was busy building an ark.

“What are you sniveling about?” Renfield finally asked the crying Amadeus.

“Shirley Temple dying,” Amadeus sobbed.

“Well she lived to a good age,” Renfield said, “she was 85.”

“She was 85?” Amadeus blinked, “Wow. Did she ever look young for her age.”

“All of those movies you have of her on DVD were made back in the 1930s when she was only a little girl,” Renfield explained.

“Oh,” said Amadeus.

A lightbulb went on over Amadeus’ head as Renfield turned on a lamp behind Amadeus’ chair.

On the BBC World News, a commentator was commentating, “And so U.S. President Barack Obama has spent the past couple of days snuggling up to French poodle Francois Hollande in an effort to improve U.S.-French ties. As the Emperor Napoleon and the 1960s American pop culture novelist Jacqueline Susann might put it, “Every night, Josephine…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 12th
2014

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