Maria Alexa Romanova
Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova
The Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova (a second cousin once removed to the late Czar of Russia Nicholas II) sat on her cushioned double headed Phoenix throne in her Paris hotel room in the year 1936.
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was at her feet where he had landed after coming from the future using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern for time travel.
The ghost of Orson Welles had accompanied him.
Welles’ ghost had landed in a comfortable arm chair in the hotel room and was even now sampling a glass of champagne next to him as well as a dish of Black Sea caviar.
“Who are you?” The Grand Duchess and 12th in line to the Russian Imperial Throne asked.
“I’m Dracul Van Helsing and this is my friend the ghost of Orson Welles,” the vampire hunter replied.
“But I thought Orson Welles was still alive,” Maria stated, “A rising young star on both stage and radio.”
“I was back in the day,” Welles licked his ghostly fingers, “But I died on October 10th 1985 after giving what turned out to be my last interview on the Merv Griffin Show where I talked about the happiness of hedgehogs, my sex life and Rita Hayworth.”
“I hope only two of those things are connected in that last statement you made,” Dracul looked concerned.
“You’re from the future?” Maria Alexa looked surprised, “Why are you here?”.
“Because Franz Kohler the last surviving member of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and a vampire intends to kidnap you,” Van Helsing answered.
“But why?” The Grand Duchess leaned back on her cushiony throne.
“Something to do with the Ukrainian Azov Nazi Battalions,” Van Helsing replied.
“The… what?” Maria tried to grasp what was being said.
“Nazis of our time period in the early 21st Century,” Van Helsing explained, “The brainless mainstream media of our day in the West don’t talk about them because they don’t want to admit that Vladimir Putin could be right about anything.”
“Vladimir…?” The name froze on the Grand Duchess’ tongue.
“Putin,” Welles finished the last of his Black Sea caviar, “Russia’s leader of our day.”
“Glad to see that pig Stalin didn’t find the secret to immortality,” Maria Alexa breathed a sigh of relief.
“No but Transhumanist billionaire oligarchs of our day are working on it for themselves,” Welles’ ghost got on the phone and asked Room Service to send some spectral coq au vin up to the room, “although Stalin does have a number of ardent disciples in the Western world such as a pale faced lily white boy named Justin Castro Trudeau who lives in Ottawa Canada and is jealous of the appearance of African-Americans.”
“What is the connection between this Ahnenerbe SS officer Franz Kohler and the Ukrainian Nazi Azov Battalions?” The Grand Duchess inquired.
“They’re all disciples of the Black Sun,” Van Helsing answered.
“The Black Sun?” Maria Alexa was surprised by all these terms.
“The Black Sun is really a brownish red dwarf star called Nemesis which orbits around the planet Nibiru as it travels across the galaxy,” Van Helsing noted, “First noted in little known ancient Egyptian texts and Franz Kohler became obsessed with them. Solar winds from Nemesis may have combined with solar winds from our own sun named Sol Invictus in terms of cosmology to have produced a rather spectacular display of the Aurora Borealis Northern Lights back on January 25th 1938 in fulfillment of the Virgin Mary’s prophecy at Fatima that this would be the sign the Second World War would soon start.”
“What does all this have to do with me?” Maria wanted to know.
“We’re not sure but we want to prevent Franz Kohler from kidnapping you and taking you back to the future to the city of Kiev,” Van Helsing sat beside the Grand Duchess.
“There’s only a limited time period for Kohler to kidnap you before his time travel debit card expires,” Welles finished the champagne, “Ah, I see looking at my Dick Tracy style spectral television wrist watch that our partner in time Michelangelo has just successfully used one of his Hydra blood dipped lobster antennae to jab and poison Franz Kohler in his ankle in the lobby of the hotel. This means you’re safe, Your Imperial Highness.”
“So what shall we do now?” The Grand Duchess asked.
“How about make love?” Van Helsing suggested.
The two were soon making out on the large cushioned double headed Phoenix throne just as Room Service arrived with the coq au vin.
“That would be for me,” Welles motioned to the bell boy.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 19th
2022.
Ghost of Orson Welles Dreams He’s Directing Marilyn Monroe In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
Marilyn Monroe appeared in Orson Welles’ dream this evening
The ghost of Orson Welles was fast asleep in his favourite armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.
Earlier this evening Orson Welles had been giving British MP Renfield R. Renfield advice on how to respond to last week’s World Government Summit in Dubai.
At the World Government Summit, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab called for One World Government to be implemented immediately.
Also at the World Government Summit in Dubai last week, economist Dr. Pippa Malmgren, who served as Special Economic Policy advisor to America’s scumbag Neo-Conservative President George W. Bush, called for a global Digital Currency.
Under her plan all forms of cash would be scrapped to be replaced by a global digital currency administered by a One World Government.
Back in Canada the moronic Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau said that any talk of an impending world government was just a conspiracy theory.
Castro’s low-IQ Canadian son was immediately hit in the face with a poison mushroom cream pie thrown by the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.
On behalf of Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles directed a commercial warning of the dangers of a One World Government and a global Digital Currency.
In the commercial Orson had the ghost of Charles Laughton playing a high-tech digital age Roman Emperor Caligula arguing on the need for a global Digital Currency.
Laughton played an insane power mad Caligula perfectly.
As Caligula had the rear end of his horse marched into the chambers of the U.S. Senate to take his seat, the chief priest of the Galli (the eunuch transgendered priests of the cult of the goddess Cybele in ancient Rome) named Jorgaius Marius Bergoglius Franciscus (who was played by the ghost of Truman Capote) called on the need for everyone to accept the Digital Currency.
Jorgaius Marius Bergoglios Franciscus screamed his head off as the Commander of the Praetorian Guard (played by the ghost of Vincent Price) burnt a mark into the forehead and right hand of the transgendered priest prelate.
“You now have the Digital Currency mark,” the Praetorian Guard Commander smiled, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand…”
Orson Welles was now dreaming of directing Marilyn Monroe in his own film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.
Marilyn Monroe playing Elizabeth Bennett waits on the bottom stairs for Mr. Darcy to show up.
But who was playing Mr. Darcy?
Welles woke up at that point.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 6th
2022.
Dracul and Voluptas Hedone: An Afternoon Near Byzantium
Voluptas Hedone: The daughter of Cupid and Psyche from Greek mythology
There was a lot of Byzantine intrigue going on in the city of Constantinople (today called Istanbul).
The city was not far from the conflict known as the Russia-Ukraine War (called a “special military operation” by Russian President Vladimir Putin and called “an attack on that place that gave my no-good bum son Hunter a job for doing nothing” by Joe Biden).
Joe Biden had started the day in Washington DC in front of a Business Roundtable of U.S. Corporate CEOs.
He was totally undressed except for wearing a fig leaf that covered his long dead sword and with his behind he painted the floor a very dark brown colour that Pablo Picasso would have never considered painting during his “Blue period”.
While looking like this, Biden informed the CEOs present that from now on he was to be regarded as “the leader of the New World Order”.
Such a proclamation had not been delivered since the days of the most insane ancient Roman Emperors.
Even though Biden had proclaimed himself the “leader of the New World Order” the Biden Administration told the Israeli government in Jerusalem that it should be the one “mediating the war between Russia and Ukraine and bringing it to a peaceful conclusion”.
While Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett sat contemplating whether the bagel and coffee in front of him was totally kosher, he pondered Biden’s idiotic pronouncement and his idiotic passing of the buck (or was it a shekel?) to the Israeli government to peacefully end the Russia-Ukraine War.
Meanwhile in the City of Istanbul (that city of Byzantine intrigue originally founded by the Roman Emperor Constantine) the Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Star of Azazel was passing out blueprints of the proposed Third Temple of Jerusalem to Turkish Freemasons.
The former Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Controller of the Golem (who resigned his commission because he couldn’t stand the Star of Azazel’s growing influence within Mossad) managed to get ahold of one of these blueprints in an Istanbul fish market.
He got the shock of his life.
The proposed Third Temple was built in the shape of a giant pyramid with a giant eyeball serving as the capstone.
Nathan (the real first name of the Controller of The Golem) sent a copy of the blue print to his friend the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit sent out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles (who were currently staying in a chalet in Switzerland) to Istanbul to investigate.
In a forest not far from Istanbul, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited to rendezvous with the Controller of the Golem.
Nathan was held up by police in Istanbul because he had accidentally spilled his hot chocolate over a photo of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire) in a Turkish coffee bazaar (which was considered a capital offense in President Erdogan’s eyes).
As Nathan used his best Kievan Jewish grandfather’s skills in trying to BS his way out of a difficult situation, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited for him to arrive.
Dracul decided to go sightseeing while Welles’ ghost sat on the grass sampling a spectral glass of ghostly red wine from a ghostly picnic basket as he also ate a ghostly leg of fried chicken.
It was at the edge of the forest that Dracul Van Helsing spotted Voluptas Hedone the daughter of the Greco-Roman deities Cupid and Psyche.
Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing decided to make out with her.
Voluptas Hedone was only happy to oblige.
As the breeze of the forest seemed to sing that old song Roll Me Over In The Clover, Welles’ ghost and the Controller of The Golem approached the scene.
“Wow, Dracul, you should see what the Holy of Holies in the Third Temple of Jerusalem is going to look like,” Welles’ ghost stated.
Then he saw what Van Helsing and Voluptas Hedone were doing.
“Holy of Holies!” Welles’ ghost exclaimed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 22nd
2022.
Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland
The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.
Which in a sense he was.
Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.
The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.
That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.
His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.
Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.
Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.
He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.
And he saw this vision:
Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette
“There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.
Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.
His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.
“I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”
Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.
Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.
The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.
And not the British government.
As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.
Set Enterprises was not.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 20th
2022.
The Children of Hecate
Pan Goatee visits a local community college and its Hall of Fame
World-famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee was walking down the street when he saw a fat ugly blimp and her moronic low-IQ boyfriend rushing towards a bus stop even though there was no bus approaching.
Goatee put his astral laser machete into auto boomerang mode and threw it at the uglo-moronic duo.
The machete beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
It then beheaded her moronic low-IQ boyfriend and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.
As Krampus arrived on the scene to pick up the remains and take them down to Tartarus, the machete then went to a nearby Chinese laundromat to get all the blood and guck washed off it before returning to Pan Goatee as a boomerang.
The initial test for this boomerang astral laser machete was originally conducted by Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie at his Cumelita Show down in Sydney, Australia.
That test was an initial disaster resulting in the beheadings and deaths of hundreds of Uncle Ernie’s paying customers who were sitting in the audience.
The machete was wisely given to a German aeronautics firm who used their German aerodynamic skills to make the astral laser machete into the weapon that it is today.
As opposed to whatever Uncle Ernie’s bumbling Australian “what the Hell is he doing skills?” would have turned it into.
Later as Pan Goatee was enjoying a Big Mac and Diet Coke inside a McDonald’s, his enjoyment was interrupted by a thin ugly looking stoat and her two ugly looking offspring entering the restaurant section where he was sitting.
Goatee beheaded the slim ugly looking stoat uglo and her two ugly looking offspring and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each while commenting, “To think all this pre-emptive strike action was brought about by the Austro-Hungarian Augustinian monk Gregor Johann Mendel and his ground breaking genetic research into garden peas.”
“I wonder if Mendel’s peas left such a mess behind on the floor?” A customer commented as he watched all the blood and body parts gathering on the floor prior to Krampus’ arrival.
“They would have if he was diabetic,” Jarod Jerome Le Gnome commented.
Meanwhile in Victoria, British Columbia, B.C.’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant NDP Premier John Horgan was insulting the B.C. Freedom Truckers’ Convoy who were planning to descend on the provincial capital in protest against the socialist despot’s draconian vaccine mandates and lockdowns.
Horgan was condescending towards his opponents like all pompous and arrogant champagne socialist despots are.
“Goodness me, get a hobby,” Horgan’s gums flapped like the wind at the world’s biggest pork and beans barbeque and chili cook-off.
Horgan had a B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pie thrown in his face by a Kootenay area sasquatch whose hobby was throwing B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pies into the faces of people who are total assholes.
Meanwhile at the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was wondering why Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis wasn’t dead yet.
He had watched Francis drink the entire cup of Tibetan Buddhist tea with the piece of wolfsbane and the jade key to Beijing’s forbidden city in it.
He had also watched Francis eat the recipe for Uncle Ernie’s vegetarian based koala bear and kangaroo meat stew also without any noticeable side effects.
“The man must have sold his soul to the devil to withstand such poisons,” Salaman deduced.
Meanwhile Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was sitting reading a newspaper at the Yaroviv military training area in Ukraine which is about 12 miles from the Polish border and about 25 miles from the city of Lviv located in western Ukraine.
Among the headlines Yaldabaoth read was “Barack Obama Says He Tested Positive For Covid-19”.
Interesting, Yaldabaoth mused.
This was followed by another headline that read, “Justin Trudeau Says He Tested Positive For Syphilis”.
Very interesting, Yaldabaoth mused again.
Suddenly the Yaroviv military base was struck by 30 missiles fired by Russian warplanes flying over the Black and Azov Seas.
Yaldabaoth dropped a load- Joe Biden style- when the attack hit.
“Thank God you shit green and not brown,” the ghost of W.C. Fields remarked as he was playing a game of golf in the area.
The ghost of Orson Welles meanwhile sat in his arm chair in the living room of the Set Mansion in London.
He read some recent history.
“In early 2013 Jen Psaki, when she was spokesperson for the Hillary Clinton State Department, was asked about secret plans for a proposed coup d’etat against the then government of Ukraine.
A year later the Obama Administration, with the support of George Soros’ financing, helped set up the new anti-Russia government of Ukraine.”
“In 2015, it was revealed that George Soros had spent hundreds of millions of dollars in Ukraine and had planted special operatives throughout the country.
This was not done to make Ukraine an independent and sovereign nation state (since Soros hates independent and sovereign nation states) but to make Ukraine an invioable part of the New World Order proposed by Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum.”
“Then in 2017, Neo-Con Senators Lindsey Graham and John McCain travelled to Ukraine and promised top military leaders that “the U.S. would give them everything they need to go to war against Vladimir Putin.”
Welles’ ghost organized the scene in his mind.
3 witches (children of Hecate) on a Scottish heath are transported to Ukraine.
Jen Psaki along with Lindsey Graham and John McCain in drag are the 3 witches.
“When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning or in rain?”.
“When the hurly-burly’s done,
when the battle’s lost and won.”
“That will be ere the set of sun.”
“Where the place?”.
“Upon the heath.”
“There to meet with MacPutin.”
While Welles’ ghost meditated upon and directed the scene in his mind,
British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the room and announced, “Did you know that Renfield was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written Sunday March 13th
2022.
The Woman At The Time Tunnel Entrance
The woman at the entrance to a 1947 built Time Tunnel
After doing some research on the topic, Prof. William Charles a professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford discovered that the U.S. government had built a time tunnel (like the famous 1960s television series Time Tunnel in which a tunnel was used to travel backwards and forwards in time) in 1947.
The time tunnel was built using a prototype plan drawn up by the famous Serbian-American scientist Nikola Tesla.
The time tunnel blew up under mysterious circumstances that same year.
Charles wondered what caused the explosion.
Meanwhile Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles had used the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic film projector to go back in time to the town of Mesquite Nevada in 1947.
Mesquite Nevada was where the time tunnel was located.
It was to be found under an old blacksmith’s shop building that dated back to the 1880s.
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in one of his visions had discovered that there was a radio screenplay writer from the 1940s who had found the time tunnel and used it to travel forward in time to the mid-2020s.
He then used his connection with the time tunnel to travel back in time throughout various decades to write predictive programming episodes for The Simpsons sitcom American TV cartoon show.
Since he knew the future (having come from there), he wrote about future events on The Simpsons such as Donald Trump becoming President and a truck convoy frightening Canada’s brainless Prime Minister Justin Trudeau out of his Ottawa office.
Van Helsing and Welles’ ghost supported the Canadian truckers’ efforts to end vaccine mandates being enforced by the various Neo-Bolshevik Communist and Neo-Fascist levels of government throughout Canada.
Most of Canada’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist and Neo-Fascist leaders were in favour of World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab’s plans for the Great Reset (which was just another name for a totalitarian One World government).
Klaus Schwab had a lifelong fascination with Hitler and his German National Socialist Workers’ form of government and admired it.
Even though Klaus Schwab’s own mother was Jewish.
Her name was Marianne Rothschild (yes- of those Rothschilds).
Van Helsing and Welles’ ghost were acting to prevent Justin Trudeau from declaring martial law in Canada.
And Michelangelo’s own sense was that the radio screenplay writer from the 1940s who wrote predictive programming episodes for The Simpsons TV Show was sympathetic towards Klaus Schwab’s Great Reset and Pope Francis’ proposed Human Fraternity Mystery Babylon Harlot Church.
Thus hoping to prevent the man’s future time travels, Van Helsing and Welles’ ghost were going to blow up the 1947 time tunnel.
When they entered the old Mesquite Nevada blacksmith’s shop and went down to the cellar where the time tunnel was, they discovered this woman:
The guardian of the time tunnel
Van Helsing picked up the woman while Welles’ ghost put down the ticking time bomb set to go off in another 5 minutes.
They returned to the present day.
Van Helsing then made out with the woman while Welles’ ghost made for a reluctant voyeur.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 4th
2022.
Ichabod and Ickabob
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over Australia in the Set Enterprises’ dirigible airship The Wild Colonial Boy.
This airship like all of Set’s airship fleet was very eco-friendly and environmentally friendly and was powered by a cannabis engine.
The Wild Colonial Boy however ran on a very special high octane form of cannabis.
This cannabis had been developed by Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie back at the Hotel California in the Summer of ’69.
A large amount of this cannabis managed to eventually find its way into a Vancouver apartment that was rented out in 1978 by Canadian singer Bryan Adams.
Which was a good thing.
Because the recipe for this type of cannabis was immediately forgotten by Uncle Ernie right after he made it.
The same was the case for every other type of drug made by Uncle Ernie.
As those who suscribe to Uncle Ernie’s Drug of The Day Uberhigh Club by mail say, “You never get the same type of drug from Uncle Ernie twice.”
Seeds from Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis eventually found their way to auction at Sotheby’s in London in the summer of 2021.
Where they were purchased by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set beating out both George Soros and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman in bidding.
And now Renfield was flying around the world from London England to Sydney Australia in just 10 minutes using the super power octane like cannabis engine that ran on Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis.
Uncle Ernie had beat NASA, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Elon Musk all to Hell.
By powering a 1930s style very old fashioned dirigible.
And not even knowing it.
As he stood on an empty Sydney stage in a near empty Sydney theatre singing the title role of his drag queen Cumelita as he was unintentionally setting his girdle on fire.
The only person in the Sydney theatre was Daniel Andrews the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist tyrant Premier of Victoria state a neighbouring state of the state of New South Wales (New South Wales’ capital was Sydney).
Andrews being a globalist elitist and not a mere simple pleb was not subject to his own draconian lockdown rules (or anyone else’s for that matter).
He sat in the theatre not wearing a mask or pants or even a condom as he sat pleasuring himself like American children’s show TV host Pee-wee Herman in a porno theatre.
The seat would of course have to be steam cleaned afterwards.
. . .
Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was showing his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set blown up and magnified images of what was on microscopic slides showing samples from both the Moderna and Pfizer “vaccines” (really mRNA genetic serums) for the Wuhan CCP virus (called Covid-19 by the pro-Communist WHO World Health Organization).
The nanobots and nano-organisms in the “vaccine” were magnified an infinite number of times.
An octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in one sample.
And another octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in another sample.
“The Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit is investigating the possibility that Bill Gates’ paid help managed to extract DNA from Cthulhu,” Dr. Rocher explained.
“And it’s through this,” Set asked, “that my brother and brother-in-law Osiris (so beloved by Freemasons everywhere) intends to rule the world?”.
Dr. Rocher nodded.
“And do you have a name for this octopus like micro-organism?” Set inquired.
“I call it Ickabob,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher answered.
. . .
The ghost of Orson Welles was reading a huge leather bound volume on Vampires and Ghosts that he had borrowed from the personal library of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
“Did you know that Katrina Van Tassel became a vampiress?” Welles asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
“She did?” Dracul was shocked, “Katrina Van Tassel who was fought over by two men the mortal schoolteacher Ichabod Crane and the ghostly Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow?”.
“That’s right,” Welles nodded as he sipped a ghostly glass of spectral red wine.
“I don’t drink… wine,” the voice of Bela Lugosi could be heard coming from the nearby television set which was showing the 1931 film Dracula.
“How did she become a vampiress?” Van Helsing asked.
“Dracula was visiting upstate New York at the time and gave her a hickey,” Welles answered.
When Van Helsing went back to his London apartment, he found vampiress Katrina Van Tassel inside.
Katrina Van Tassel
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 10th
2021.
Red October
“Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.
“I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.
“All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.
Welles put his finger down.
“Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”
Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.
“Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.
He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.
This magic lantern could be used for time travel.
As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.
“Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”
“So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.
“The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”
“So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”
“Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.
“Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.
“That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”
“I see,” Welles sipped his wine.
“October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”
“Your dad?” Welles blinked.
“He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”
“I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.
“One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.
“Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.
“No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.
“In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 1st
2021.
The Vaccinazi-Coviet Pact Deepens
British MP Renfeld R. Renfield was doing a Sunday night podcast.
Amadeus Emanon was watching the podcast while eating some delicious Chinese food from a take-out restaurant.
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was looking at his watch and wondering how long it would take his batch of live crocodiles to grow.
Set enjoyed eating live crocodiles (a habit that dated back to a dispute he had with his son Sobek).
In the meantime, Set’s batch of live crocodiles were being fed live Australian and Paris policemen who were kidnapped by the Crusader Rabbit Leonard Constaninople’s army of Neo-Byzantine Crusaders as they trained for war by battling Australian and Paris policemen.
Renfield began his podcast,
“South Australia’s Neo-Stalinist dictator and Premier Steven Marshall is working on a high-tech police surveillance state for the State of South Australia.
People ordered to quarantine by the dictatorial South Australian government must download what is called a Home Quarantine App that uses geo-location and facial recognition software to track those ordered by the Australian Neo-Gestapo to quarantine.
The app ensures citizens comply with quarantine orders by contacting people at random and asking them to provide proof of their location within 15 minutes.
Individuals who miss their geo-location check-ins will receive a follow-up phone call from nosy government bureaucrats where they will be forced to discuss why they missed the notification and if they miss that, a “compliance officer” (specially trained by reading old SS/Gestapo and old NKVD/KGB training manuals) will visit their homes.
Renfield then showed a clip of Neo-Stalinist Premier of South Australia Steven Marshall blathering away, “I think every South Australian should feel pretty proud that we are the national pilot for the home-based quarantine app.”
Renfield commented after showing the clip, “What a total and complete ass that piece of repugnant human garbage is.”
Then the British MP added, “South Australian Premier Steven Marshall should be eliminated from the face of the earth.”
An Australian parrot sitting atop an oil painting of Oliver Cromwell (that the parrot’s rear end has added some unique neo-impressionistic flourishes to- indeed Renfield bought the parrot for this purpose) spoke, “So should every other Australian leader. Kwaak. So should every other Australian leader.”
Renfield went on to his next news item,
“Earlier this evening I watched a video recorded by a concerned bystander on their smart phone that showed around 40 glass helmeted Paris police officers (looking like stormtroopers in a Nazi SS controlled galaxy unfortunately not so far away) beat a young woman senseless to the ground because she did not have a vaccine passport while shopping in a Paris shopping mall.”
Remarked Renfield while looking at the camera, “Paris police are scumbags who should be eliminated from the face of the earth.”
Then appeared a clip of the ghost of Orson Welles sitting in an arm chair holding a spectral glass of spectral Paul Masson wine.
Said Welles, “Ahhhh, the French police have always been celebrated for their excremence…”
How to deal with a French policeman.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 5th
2021.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Nefertiti Galore The Shapeshifting Cat of The Billionaire Ancient Egyptian Vampire Set
December 13, 2021 at 10:23 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Anne Rice, Boris Johnson, Nefertiti Galore, Renfield R. Renfield, Set, The Billionaire Ancient Egyptian Vampire Set, The Covid Tyranny, The Ghost of Orson Welles)
The maid opened the door and in walked Nefertiti Galore the shapeshifting cat of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (She was able to shapeshift into different breeds of cats).
“Let me get a picture,” said the ghost of Orson Welles as he took a photo with a spectral black and white camera.
Nefertiti Galore had spent the day in London attacking deranged medical bureaucrats, tyrannical politicians and members of the brainless mainstream media.
It got so bad that British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was forced to stand in the House of Commons to declare a state of emergency.
That was until Nefertiti Galore emptied the house with her attack.
The only MP who remained sitting was Renfield R. Renfield who sat reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and sipping a glass of Napoleon brandy.
. . .
The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has asked a judge to further delay releasing Pfizer jab data until at least 2096.
Remarked Renfield, “An intelligent person like Sherlock Holmes would ask “What are they hiding that they require such a long delay?”. A stupid person like Calgary City Councillor Gian-Carlo Carra wouldn’t ask.”
Renfield stood up and asked the empty Speaker’s chair, “Mr. Speaker, is the Prime Minister aware that 295 young athletes across the world have had cardiac arrests and 169 have died after receiving the Covid shot? If he’s not aware, he may leave the the chamber.”
Johnson had already left the chamber.
Renfield then made the following statement, “The great vampire novelist Anne Rice passed away from complications from a stroke this past Saturday December 11th 2021. What the mainstream media won’t tell you is that stroke arose in the aftermath of her March 2021 vaccination.”
. . .
SNN (Set News Network) reported that Pope Francis had a “very cordial” and “exciting” meeting (to use the Vatican News Agency’s terminolgy) with Spain’s Communist Deputy Prime Minister Yolanda Diaz this past Saturday December 11th.
They discussed climate change, the Great Reset and making the world a better place.
Renfield refrained from making an editorial comment as the statement above spoke for itself.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 13th
2021.
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