Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Irish Leprechauns Slain By Serpent

May 27, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Irish Leprechauns Slain By Serpent

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol had arranged to meet British MP Renfield R. Renfield at London’s Highgate Cemetery the burial place of Karl Marx.

Whitstable had just come into possession of a shocking video shot by Alec O’ Connaught (the man they called the Irish Alex Jones) within the past 24 hours.

For his brave and gallant efforts in shooting the shocking video, Alec O’ Connaught found himself butchered and cut into tiny pieces by the Irish goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught and daughter of a High King of Ireland.

And as such, Alec O’ Connaught would no longer be broadcasting live from the basement of the Guinness brewery in Dublin on a program he called Infodraughtwars.

Instead he might be broadcasting dead from Purgatory in the realm of Hades provided that classical Greco-Roman god of the Underworld gave him permission.

Rather foolishly on his part, O’ Connaught gave the video directly to Whitstable rather than broadcasting it live on his Infodraughtwars program where it would have most likely enjoyed the greatest most viewed and most watched occultic conspiracy theory videos status in YouTube history.

But O’ Connaught decided to hand the video to Whitstable for viewing first and broadcast it later.

O’ Connaught had his throat slashed later that early morning in the Guinness brewery basement by the goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught.

His last words before dying were “Glug! Glug! Glug!” as he had his mouth attached to one of the kegs of Guinness draught in a ritual he always performed before going live on the air.

Whitstable when he saw the video in the Interpol office in London quite literally shit his pants when he saw it.

A week earlier he had run into Renfield buying 1500 grams of cheese 🧀 in the dairy 🥛 section of the neighbourhood grocery store and overheard Renfield complaining to the cashier about a recent bout of irregularity he had been having.

Whitstable figured that this video would help cure him of that problem.

Renfield agreed to view the video but didn’t want to view it in his office.

The British MP had recently heard that they were going to do a midnight Sunday evening showing of the 1942 classic Hollywood film Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman at an outdoor screen in London’s Highgate Cemetery and Renfield wanted to get there early to get a good picnic spot for his blanket.

Renfield had never seen Casablanca before and the film had come highly recommended to him by his friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

So while Renfield found a good spot and set up his picnic basket (he had the food locked 🔒 away in a refrigerator under combination lock to keep it away from his friend and housemate Amadeus Emanon), Whitstable set down his projector 📽 and roll of film and began running it on the Cemetery outdoor screen while others were taking their seats on their respective picnic blankets.

The grisly video (shot by the late Alec O’ Connaught) showed the golden cobra serpent Maitreya the new High King of Ireland (recently crowned High King of Ireland 🇮🇪 on the Hill of Tara this past Saint Patrick’s Day March 17th) standing alongside his wife Cleopatra (the former Queen of Egypt resurrected from the dead by Maitreya earlier this year was Maitreya’s consort and the new High Queen of Ireland).

Dressed in gothic attire, the new High Queen of Ireland 🇮🇪 announced from the steps of a Dublin apartment building that the leprechauns unlike the majority of the Irish people had refused to recognize her consort the serpent Maitreya as the new High King of Ireland and now must pay the price.

Renfield on seeing Queen Cleopatra (dressed in gothic attire) immediately lifted his right hand and started singing his own paraphrased version of the Kylie Minogue song The Loco-Motion with accompanying gestures and movements (made popular by members of the Perilous Physicists’ Society).

Renfield ended up shooting a London policeman who wanted to arrest the MP for performing an act of public indecency.

Meanwhile on the screen, the Whitstable projector 📽 showed the Alec O’ Connaught film of Maitreya the serpent (who had grown a pair of reptilian arms and reptilian legs) with a golden sword and the Irish goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught with a silver sword going and slaughtering all the leprechauns of Ireland 🇮🇪.

The blood of the leprechauns soon reached as high as the top of the Lia Fail (Stone of Destiny) on the County Meath landmark of the Hill of Tara.

Billionaire investor George Soros (who was in Ireland having backed the winning side in a recent Irish referendum) broke into tears on the nearby hill of Rath Maeve saying, “Why didn’t you ask them where they had buried their pots of gold before killing them?”.

Meanwhile Renfield’s irregularity came to an abrupt end upon viewing the slaughter of the leprechauns in the O’ Connaught film.

As did the irregularity of all other moviegoers sitting upon their picnic blankets.

“Bloody Hell,” cried the cemetery caretaker (much to the shock of a nearby English Roman Catholic priest recently personally ordained by Pope Francis), “this is going to be one Hell of a mess to clean up tomorrow morning.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 27th
2018.

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Cleopatra Meets Pope Francis

March 25, 2018 at 10:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Cleopatra Meets Pope Francis

Pope Francis was sitting at his writing desk reflecting on the profound theological question he had formulated, Is Heaven the place where God gives us ice cream 🍦 because anaesthesia is unavailable?

His aide interrupted his thoughts.

“Queen Cleopatra wants to see you,” His aide said.

“The Queen Cleopatra?” Francis was astonished.

“Yes, Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator the last active ruler of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt, lover of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, the mother of Caesarion and the one who failed to seduce Octavian the future Caesar Augustus,” his aide answered.

“But I thought she was dead,” Francis wiped his glasses 👓.

“She was,” his aide agreed, “But apparently a golden cobra from the Himalayas who calls himself Maitreya brought her back from the dead by shooting laser rays out of his eyes. He had himself and her (Cleopatra) crowned High King and High Queen of Ireland respectively on this most recent Saint Patrick’s Day in a coronation ceremony on the Hill of Tara involving Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale, Irish zombies, Reformed Druid Anglican priests and ancient Irish goddesses from the old Celtic pantheon.”

“Of course that would explain everything,” Pope Francis had to admit.

“Will you see her?” His aide asked, “She’s very insistent.”

“Why not?” Francis shrugged, “If I saw a Kraken a few weeks ago, I might as well meet the resurrected Queen Cleopatra.”

His aide left the room.

Minutes later, he returned with the regal and beautiful looking Queen Cleopatra dressed in a beautiful white gown and wearing a golden crown on her head with a snake’s head emerging out of the head piece.

Francis rose to greet her.

Cleopatra saluted him, “Hail Francis, full of mercy, blessed art thou amongst clergymen and blessed is the fruit of thy wisdom Horus reincarnated.”

“How can this be seeing as how I am a Jesuit?” Francis asked.

His aide was starting to feel queasy.

And decided to leave the room and head to Saint Peter’s Basilica for Evening Prayer services marking the Feast of the Annunciation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 25th
2018.

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Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

March 18, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

Dashwood Forrest and his manservant Mulligan the Irish ☘️ Zombie 🧟‍♂️ were having breakfast 🥞 🍳 in a restaurant at a hotel on O’ Connell Street in Dublin.

Mulligan was nursing a king sized hangover having drank too many glasses of Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale on the Hill of Tara in County Meath for Saint Patrick’s Day yesterday.

He did give away one of his glasses of Kilkenny to a golden cobra named Maitreya who was undergoing an old Celtic Pagan ritual to make the snake the High King of Ireland.

But he did so in a hypnotic state (which would be the only possible state in which Mulligan the Irish Zombie 🧟‍♂️ would give away an alcoholic beverage that happened to be in his possession).

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you look to be in awfully bad shape,” the waiter said to Mulligan.

“That’s because I’ve got a hangover,” Mulligan answered while drinking tomato juice laced with three raw eggs 🥚 and Worcestershire sauce.

“You also look to be dead,” the waiter remarked as some of Mulligan’s decomposing flesh fell on his breakfast plate of kipper and poached eggs.

“I am,” Mulligan started leaking tomato juice and Worcestershire sauce from his armpits, “I’m a zombie.”

“If you’re a zombie, then why aren’t you sitting in the Dail (Irish Parliament)?” The waiter asked.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t ask myself that very question,” Mulligan was debating with himself on whether or not he should order a Guinness as he noticed the old antique clock on the hotel restaurant wall was only 1 minute away from 12 noon.

“Who raised you from the dead?” The waiter asked.

“It was a South African witch doctor called Dr. Sterling Makabo who raised me from the dead,” Mulligan cut himself a slice of kipper and put it on his fork, “although he had actually been hired to raise my neighbour who was buried next to me in the cemetery from the dead but his corpse was still at his wake. A wake that apparently went on for fourteen days I might add. So when my neighbour did not answer Doctor Makabo’s call, I decided to do so. With the result that I’m now living the life of Riley.”

“Riley was the name of the man in the grave next to him,” Dashwood Forrest explained, “the fellow that Dr. Makabo was supposed to raise from the dead but his body was still at his wake as his buddies had been drinking so much, they forgot to take him to both his funeral and burial services.”

“Only in Ireland 🇮🇪 would this happen,” the waiter shook his head.

“I would have to agree,” Dashwood Forrest smelled the rose in his lapel.

At that moment on the television in the restaurant, the image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared to comment on Vladimir Putin’s landslide Presidential election 🗳 victory in Russia 🇷🇺.

As Renfield pointed to a photo of Putin and made Freemasonic death by disembowelling gestures with his hands that would send YouTube conspiracy theory channel hosts into a whirlwind of frenzy, Mulligan remarked to Dashwood Forrest, “There’s the fellow who saved me from drowning in a bowl of punch at your mermaid 🧜‍♀️ painting art exhibit in London last year.”

“Was that before or after you became a zombie 🧟‍♂️?” The waiter asked.

“After,” Mulligan replied, “My mortal pre-zombie life came to an end when I drowned in a vat of Guinness.”

And speaking of Guinness, the antique clock in the restaurant struck 12 noon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 18th
2018.

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Cleopatra and The Serpent At Tara On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Cleopatra and The Serpent At Tara On Saint Patrick’s Day

At a Buddhist temple in London, one of the monks awoke and went into the meditation room to pray.

He was shocked to discover that the giant statue of the Future Buddha To Come had been stolen.

He immediately went and told one of his fellow monks, “The statue of the Maitreya has been stolen.”

“How,” his brother monk asked, “could such a large statue have been stolen?”.

. . .

Inside a cave deep in the Himalayas on the Nepal-Tibet border, the sleeping giant golden cobra awakened.

He then left his cave and astral projected himself to Egypt.

But the cobra had such a highly developed mind (that physicists at their peril could only dream of) that he was able to take his physical form body to Egypt with him along with his astral body.

. . .

The golden cobra was in the burial chamber of the tomb of Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt.

His eyes projected a golden ray that caused the lid of the Queen’s sarcophagus to raise.

He then leaned over the sarcophagus and peered in looking at the royal mummy.

Once again its eye emitted a golden ray that disintegrated the bandages into oblivion.

Its other eye then emitted another golden ray that caused flesh to form on the skeleton.

With both its eyes, it then cast a golden ray as bright as the light of the sun on Cleopatra’s body.

And the Queen returned to life in all her regal beauty and splendour.

“I am naked,” the Queen said as she looked down.

“Does your beauty really need to be covered with clothes?” The cobra asked in a voice as eloquent as that of Sir Laurence Olivier playing Hamlet.

“But I am a Queen,” Cleopatra protested, “Commoners mustn’t see me naked.”

. . .

The cobra brought the Queen’s handmaidens back to life and using royal gold buried with her, Cleopatra and her six handmaidens were astral projected by the cobra’s tongue to the fashion district of Paris France 🇫🇷 where they purchased neo-Classical Egyptian gowns from Christian Dior.

The seven Egyptian women left the salon fashion house dressed in their gowns while a group of recently resurrected male Egyptian slaves followed behind carrying a vast array of shopping bags.

“Cléopâtre,” the chauffeur of French President Emmanuel Macron exclaimed as he drove the President’s limo into a light post upon seeing the Egyptian queen.

The French President, who was in the backseat reading a National Geographic article on cougars, was unhurt.

. . .

The cobra astral projected himself along with his physical form to Ireland.

He went to the grounds of Down Cathedral in Downpatrick, County Down, Province of Armagh, Northern Ireland.

He stood by the stone that was reputed to be the burial marker for the reputed burial place of Saint Patrick.

The cobra hissed and spat on Saint Patrick’s grave.

It hissed, “Thou fool. Thy triumph was short lived. Only 16 centuries. And now the serpents have returned to Ireland.”

An old Englishman and his wife walked by observing this spectacle.

Said Cecil to his wife Marianne, “Well if snakes are going to talk, glad to see they’re talking in good old King James Bible English.”

. . .

The Golden Cobra stood on the Hill of Tara the seat of the High Kings of Ireland.

It stood atop the Lia Fail (Stone of Destiny) on this County Meath landmark.

The snake then drank a glass of Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale that was handed to him by Mulligan the Irish Zombie 🧟‍♂️ who was in a hypnotic state.

Mulligan’s boss the London based art curator and Oscar Wilde admirer Dashwood Forrest was on the nearby hill of Rath Maeve looking for Mulligan.

The goddess Maeve meanwhile joined the cobra atop the Lia Fail (Stone of Destiny) and a Saskatchewan Anglican priest who was also a clergyman in the Church of the Reformed Druids stood on a pair of giant stilts held up by a pair of clowns and looking down on the cobra and the goddess Maeve symbolically married the pair.

The Saskatchewan Anglican priest then found himself the victim of a human sacrifice a minute later much to his personal dismay.

The Church of the Reformed Druids was possibly not as reformed as he would have liked.

The Irish Celtic goddess Brigid then arrived on the scene and crowned the golden cobra High King of Ireland.

“And now yonder, my High Queen doth approach,” the Cobra used his astral third eye to see the beautiful Cleopatra dressed in a magnificent gown and walking across the Irish Sea.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 17th
2018.

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The Golden Cobra: A Poem

February 21, 2016 at 9:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Golden Cobra: A Poem

In dark caverns below the Himalayas
lurked the creature
a giant golden cobra who folded around and around the dark cavern floor
and licked its own tail
in Ouroboros fashion
A golden circle
A golden circle of life
A golden circle of death
A golden circle of life and death

The Knights of the Golden Circle worshipped the creature
The Knights of the Golden Circle who created the Confederacy
The Knights of the Golden Circle who shot Lincoln
The Knights of the Golden Circle whose most nefarious leader was one Albert Pike
The Knights of the Golden Circle who continue today

The Golden Cobra had a name… Maitreya
And the Golden Cobra emerged out of its own circle
and emerged upwards.

-A vampire novel chapter and poem
written by Christopher
Sunday February 21st
2016.

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