Artemis At The Bank of Monte Carlo

February 2, 2021 at 11:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Greek goddess Artemis at the Bank of Monte Carlo

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) were trying to break into the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.

The reason?

The plans of George Soros, Bill Gates, Xi Jinping, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab and the Egyptian deities Osiris and Horus for a totalitarian One World Government were locked away in the vault.

It was fortunate for Van Helsing and Whitstable that the Irish leprechaun Yaldabaoth happened to know the combination for the vault.

Over a month ago, Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka managed to obtain the combination from Yaldabaoth during a secret meeting in Dublin Ireland.

Sadly at that meeting Yaldabaoth died from food poisoning (from food he recently ate at the Vatican) but only after he had given Van Helsing and Tanaka the combination.

Yaldabaoth’s body was now being kept on ice at the Set Enterprises’ laboratory in London England on the off chance Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher might discover a formula for bringing a leprechaun back from the dead.

The only trouble is Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster occasionally crawled out of his aquarium and helped himself to some of the ice (that was preserving Yaldabaoth’s body) in order to add some ice to the glasses of lemonade shandy that he was drinking.

He was severely reprimanded by Sherrielock Holmes for doing this.

A reprimand that Michelangelo seemed to enjoy.

And thus he kept doing it.

But the little Michelangeloian escapades and Yaldabaoth’s preservation were helping to keep London ice makers in business.

Dracul Van Helsing looked at the Chinese fortune cookie slip that Yaldabaoth had given him.

That had the combination to the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo written on it.

He tried the combination and the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo opened.

A little groundhog called Monte Carlo Monte Cristo ran out of the vault door after it was opened.

“Do you suppose he saw his shadow?” Van Helsing asked Whitstable as the groundhog ran off into the night.

“Van Helsing,” Whitstable spoke in an exasperated voice, “Never mind the groundhog. Just find the Soros-Gates-Xi-Schwab-Osiris-Horus plans for World Domination.”

“Still it would be nice to know if we had six more weeks of winter,” Van Helsing noted, “After all today is Groundhog Day.”

“The plans, the plans!” Whitstable screamed.

“That reminds me of Tattoo the dwarf on the TV show Fantasy Island saying “The plane! The plane!”.” Van Helsing recalled.

“Just get the fucking plans!” Whitstable cursed.

Van Helsing noticed the plans marked Dante’s Inferno and grabbed them.

Yaldabaoth had said those were the Soros-Gates-Xi-Schwab-Osiris-Horus plans for World Domination.

After Van Helsing had grabbed the plans and stepped outside the vault, he noticed the Greek goddess Artemis sitting on a cushion not far from the vault.

“Well you’re a very naughty boy, Van Helsing,” Artemis smoothed her dress, “Stealing from the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo. I think you better get across my lap so I can give you a good spanking.”

“I think you’re right,” Van Helsing took his clothes off and lay across Artemis’ knee.

“Van Helsing!” Whitstable screamed, “I think that fleeing groundhog tripped an alarm. The Monte Carlo Police cars seem to be arriving in the distance. Let’s get out of here!”.

“I’ve always got time for a spanking from Artemis,” Van Helsing remarked as the Greek goddess of the hunt began thoroughly walloping his backside with a wooden hairbrush.

The ghost of Orson Welles who had been keeping lookout outside the bank as soon as he heard the sound of wooden hairbrush striking human flesh decided to leave.

“I wonder if I’ll be like Bill Murray’s character of TV weatherman Phil Connors in the movie Groundhog Day and live this day over and over again,” Van Helsing commented as he was getting a thorough bottom blistering lying across Artemis’ sexy black silk nylon knees.

“I don’t want to live this day over and over again,” Whitstable remarked as he saw the Monte Carlo Police exit their vehicles.

Meanwhile out in the woods not far from the Bank, the groundhog Monte Carlo Monte Cristo crawled in the shadows.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 2nd
2021.

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A Date With Artemis

December 4, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was down in the U.S. state of Georgia to investigate allegations of election fraud.

There was actual video footage of people smuggling in ballots into closed polling places after hours.

However that video evidence wasn’t enough to satisfy pro-Communist Republican officials in the State of Georgia.

W. Cleon Skousen’s 1958 book The Naked Communist said that the Communist plan was to take over at least one if not both of the two political parties in the U.S.

While the U.S. Democrats were pretty much Communist for the most part, so were a lot of U.S. Republicans.

The trouble had started with the C.I.A. Deep State.

Because the C.I.A. (then the O.S.S. during and immediately after World War II) began studying and admiring the Nazi SS psychological technology and mind control techniques, this made them prone to developing a totalitarian mind set for themselves.

Like the 1963 Vincent Price film Diary of A Madman in which Price’s character of a French judge becomes possessed by the demonic entity called a horla who had possessed a murderer he had sentenced to death, so too the American C.I.A. had become possessed by the same dark force that had possessed the Nazi SS.

It was quite easy to switch from being a Nazi/Fascist totalitarian to being a Marxist/Communist totalitarian and back again.

In the end, both Nazism/Fascism and Marxist/Communism were controlled by the same demonic forces.

Those invisible entities (fallen angels and demons) were not in the perception and world view of those with a Darwinian materialistic mindset (which was most of the world’s media, cultural and political elite), therefore they saw Nazism/Fascism and Marxist/Communism as being different ideologies rather than being two separate peas of the same pod.

George H.W. Bush was a Company man (Company as in C.I.A.).

His father Prescott Bush had been a Nazi sympathizer and had even been investigated by the U.S. government back in the early 1940s for his views.

Ronald Reagan’s first choice for his Vice-Presidential running mate in 1980 had been Jack Kemp a Republican Congressman from Buffalo New York.

However he was talked by some of his more globalist oriented advisors into naming Company (C.I.A.) man George H.W. Bush as his Vice-Presidential running mate.

Thus the anti-Communist Reagan had as his Vice-President George H.W. Bush a man who could flick back and forth from being Nazi/Fascist totalitarian to being Marxist/Communist totalitarian with the ease of a chameleon.

With this background in mind, Whitstable began his investigation.

. . .

The Vatican Cardinal Samhain Salaman was reading a report given to him by the Vatican Astronomical Academy.

Apparently the Christmas Star or the Star of Bethlehem (which is an extremely close conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn) will be able to be seen this Winter Solstice of December 21st for the first time in 800 years.

The last time such a close alignment between these two objects (Jupiter and Saturn) in the night sky could be seen was just before dawn on March 4th 1226.

So the Christmas Star will be visible this year of 2020, Samhain Cardinal Salaman thought as he closed the door of his office.

Outside two of Pope Francis’ gay secretarial aides had been doing it on the hallway floor like two animals doing it on the TV Cable Discovery Channel.

. . .

The Greek goddess Artemis was awaiting the arrival of Dracul Van Helsing.

Dracul was seeking her aid in battling Covid Communists.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 4th 2020

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Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing

August 28, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was sitting in his office at 10 Downing Street going over some papers this evening.

Earlier in the day, Johnson had sent three Privy Council members up to Balmoral Castle in Scotland to get Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to prorogue (suspend) Parliament for a month to cut back on the amount of time opposition MPs could use to prevent a No Deal Brexit on October 31st (the biggest Halloween trick or treat in British history).

Outside 10 Downing Street, protestors were shouting “Way hey, ho-ho, this BJ has got to go…”

Inside an adjacent cabinet meeting room, Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was thinking to himself, “What have those protestors got against blow jobs?”.

. . .

BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy was reading the news headlines, “And in other news, U.S. President Donald Trump has blasted the territory of Puerto Rico for having Hurricane Dorian barrelling down in their direction…”

The news clip shows Trump speaking to the media before boarding a helicopter, “I’d just like to say that it’s very very inconsiderate for Puerto Rico to have a hurricane barrelling in their direction for the third time in two years. Not cool at all. Two years ago they were hit by Hurricane Irma and then they were severely hit by Hurricane Maria which caused massive amounts of damage. Then they had the post-Maria nerve to say that it was a disaster and they required emergency aid from Washington DC. Again not very cool. And now a mere 2 years later, Hurricane Dorian is heading towards them. Yet again not very cool. What makes Puerto Rico think that regular American taxpayers will keep bailing them out every time they allow themselves to get hit by a hurricane? Like I say very very inconsiderate of them.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy: Mr. Trump then boarded the helicopter where he got hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit according to descriptions by Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents.

. . .

The Greek goddess Artemis was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a London hotel room.

“Mr. Van Helsing,” Artemis beckoned him, “I’m here to tell you about the suspicious activities that have been happening at the Thule Air Base in Greenland but let’s get down to other business first…”

And that other business that Artemis had in mind turned out to be very pleasant indeed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 28th
2019.

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One Hell of A Snowstorm From Hel The Norse Goddess

January 30, 2019 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, weather) (, , , , , , , , , , )


Norse Goddess Hel: Do come in out of the cold, Mr. Van Helsing, and come warm yourself inside my welcoming fireplace.

Much of the United States was suffering one Hell of a cold spell and one Hell of a snowstorm.

And it was being caused by Hel the goddess of the Norse frozen underworld.

She had brought one Hell of a polar vortex with her from her abyss in the frozen northern wastelands.

She was able to do so because Wotan/Odin the chief of the Norse Germanic pantheon of gods (known as the AEsir) and King of Asgard was currently in a Set Enterprises eye clinic in London under the care of Dr. Cadbury Rocher as a result of his one good eye being hit by an arrow fired from the Celtic stag god Cernunnos’ crossbow on a U.S. Republican Party Country Club deer hunting trip gone horribly awry and hideously astray.

Since Wotan/Odin wasn’t around to veto the idea, Hel decided to have some fun.

She was currently in a Chicago hotel enjoying both the cold and the snow storm from inside her warmly heated luxury hotel room.

The Norse trickster god Loki was in a Chicago park trying to re-enact a scene from the 1997 Julia Roberts movie My Best Friend’s Wedding and ended up getting his tongue frozen to the ice cold pussy of a frozen ice sculpture statue of the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

The Norse wolf Fenrir and the Baphomet (who was currently in Chicago on a cross-country speaking tour raising funds for the U.S. Democratic Party) laughed heartedly as a Chicago Fire Department welding unit was brought in to free Loki’s tongue from Aphrodite’s pussy.

Dracul Van Helsing was currently walking around Chicago caught in a vortex of time caught between a Chicago in a black and white Hollywood film movie set of the 1930s and the Chicago of the January 30th 2019 polar vortex snowstorm from Hell caused by Hel.

The vortex of time was brought about by the mad scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland interfering with Dracul’s Houdini-Tesla prototype magic lanterns by which the Canadian vampire hunter was able to time travel.

Shiva had aided CERN scientists in doing this.

Shiva’s wife Kali on the other hand had reached out to help Dracul Van Helsing.

For some reason, Kali’s mention of Dracul Van Helsing on a previous occasion had caused Shiva to turn into a green-eyed monster.

The ghost of Orson Welles, looking very much like the ghost of Christmas Past in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, appeared to Van Helsing.

“Persephone the Greek goddess of the underworld has sent me to help you,” Welles’ ghost explained, “Van Helsing, you seem to work your way into the most precarious situations. I really don’t understand it.”

Welles’ ghost led Van Helsing on to a Persian flying carpet where they flew through the air to the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago.

There the Norse goddess Hel invited Van Helsing into her room.

An invitation from the Norse goddess Hel to Dracul Van Helsing.

As Hel and Van Helsing made out and practiced tantric sex on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace, Welles’ ghost complained about the fact that he was reduced to making porno films in the 21st Century.

Welles and Van Helsing left the room whereupon the door to the next room magically opened and the Norse goddess Freya the Queen of Asgard invited Van Helsing in:

Freya: Do come in and stay awhile, Mr. Van Helsing.

As Van Helsing and Freya engaged in a Kama Sutra tantric sex encounter,
Welles remarked over the Riesling wine and the delicious Norse cod that he was eating, “Well Van Helsing, there’s nothing like forging an alliance between Odin/Wotan and Shiva in one cosmic act of revenge.”

Next door, Morrigan the Celtic goddess of war invited Van Helsing in for a lesson as Welles watched.

Welles drowned his voyeurism in pints of Guinness and bottles of Irish whiskey.

Finally Zeus’ daughter Artemis the Greek goddess of the moon made the Call of The Wild from next door.

Artemis displays a full moon for Van Helsing on this evening.

“Zeus, Shiva and Odin/Wotan in a triple alliance,” Welles moaned over several bucketloads of the best French champagne as he watched the divinely cosmic sexual encounter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 30th
2019.

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