The Feast of The Beast 2023
Back in 1955 the Greek goddess Artemis was in possession of the silver arrow of Chiron the centaur
Attending a Chiron the Centaur exhibit at the British Museum in March 1955, the Greek goddess Artemis had the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur in her purse.
Artemis exited her vehicle to walk to the British Museum.
A female Soviet KGB agent who was a master pickpocket stole the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
It was taken to Moscow where it was placed in the KGB Archives but lost by one KGB Archivist Harry Wooismeovich.
For his efforts, Harry Wooismeovich was shot by firing squad under orders by Nikita Khrushchev.
Harry Wooismeovich’s last words were “Oh, who’s Winston Churchill?” in answer to a British government telegram for clemency and “Woo is me!” in answer to being shot.
The silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur was thus lost to history.
Causing the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit to face a dilemma on March 23rdrd 2023.
Every March 23rd was the Feast of The Beast for some dark magic practicing occultic secret societies.
Among the dark deities venerated by these occultic secret societies was Apophis the Egyptian god of chaos and darkness.
Once long ago in the mists of antiquity it was the case that every night Apophis would attack the solar barge of Ra the Egyptian god of light and the sun.
The Egyptian god Set would come to Ra’s aid every night and defeat Apophis.
In those days Set was considered a hero and a good guy.
He only became a villain to history after cutting up his brother Osiris into 14 pieces (even though Osiris was the Egyptian Justin Trudeau of his day and most likely deserved what he got).
Miranda Singh of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had discovered that one dark magic occultic secret society would be sacrificing a ghost of all things on this particular Feast of the Beast.
And the ghost would be sacrificed down in Cornwall to prevent a descendant of King Arthur from rising to power on the world stage and instead allow a descendant of Mordred to rise to power on the world stage.
King Arthur had been born at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall and the sacrifice of the ghost would be performed at Tintagel Castle.
A ghostly sacrifice rather than a human sacrifice was necessary to enact a major geopolitical event.
And the ghost chosen for the Tintagel Castle Cornwall sacrifice was none other than the ghost of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander who was a personal friend of Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ quite literally immortal twin sister), Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander had been waylaid in London’s Highgate Cemetery last night by Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld and a rag tag group of Breton korrigans.
The ghostly sacrifice would be performed by a demon possessed elk who had been given as a gift to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby by the U.S. Federal Cabinet of Joe Biden in appreciation for his support of gay and transgender rights.
Apparently the only way of slaying a demon possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
After a brief meeting of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit in which the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (the Anglo-Catholic Vicar of St. Genevieve’s Church in West London and the Church of England’s leading exorcist who tried to exorcise Italian historian Roberto de Mattei the only known person (so far) to have become demonically possessed as a result of receiving the DeathVaxx vaccine) served as an advisor, it was agreed that the most effective way of slaying this demonically possessed elk was to use the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
Which was lost to history.
So Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern projector went back in time to steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the Greek goddess Artemis before Nikita Khrushchev’s acclaimed pickpocket female KGB agent had the chance to do so.
Dracul saw Artemis exiting her vehicle on the night of the Chiron the Centaur Exhibit at the British Museum:
Van Helsing immediately grabbed the arrow.
Artemis said, “Dracul, how dare you steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur?”.
She immediately grabbed Van Helsing, took him over her knee and spanked him.
While being spanked, Dracul threw the silver arrow to the ghost of Orson Welles who went forward in time to the place of Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
Van Helsing then made love 💕 to the Greek goddess Artemis on the large luxurious back seat of the classic 1950s era vehicle.
After goddess and vampire hunter had finished rocking the vehicle, Dracul went forward in time to Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
He grabbed his crossbow and the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the ghost of Orson Welles.
The Celtic stag god Cernunnos had already been killing with his crossbow and silver arrows various supernatural entities participating in the ceremony.
For reasons known only to himself, the Celtic stag god did not wish to see a descendant of Mordred ascend to power on the world stage.
The demon possessed elk was raising the supernatural sword 🗡️ Excalibur above the ghostly spectral salamander throat of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander.
Both Cernunnos and Van Helsing fired their crossbows at the same time.
After a silver arrow pierced the demon possessed elk’s throat, the elk said in Latin in Shakespearian Julius Caesar like fashion, “And thou, Cernunnos? Or was it thou, Dracul?.”
Even Cernunnos’ PH Unbalanced hairstylist didn’t know for sure.
Thus it was a question/answer never asked on the Canadian-American game show ghost host Alex Trebek’s TV program Jeopardy in the Elysian Fields of the Realm of the Underworld.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 23rd
2023.
Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Slay Nazi Vam₱ire Franz Kohler
Artemis and The Ghost of W.C. Fields In Paris
The Greek goddess Artemis in Paris
The Greek goddess Artemis was in her Paris hotel room.
Suddenly the ghost of W.C. Fields walked into the room.
“My dear, you look ravishingly beautiful,” W.C. doffed his top hat in her direction.
“Thank you, William,” Artemis stood up, threw open the curtain and gazed at the Eiffel Tower.
“William?” W.C. Fields was starstruck, “I had no idea you knew my first name.”
“I do,” Artemis smiled.
“I once met Joe Biden in the Oval Office,” Fields took a sip from a bottle of gin in one hand and a bottle of vermouth in the other, “and he told me he thought W.C. stood for Water Closet. Thus when he pulled his pants down and asked me to lie directly underneath his squatting legs, I immediately left the room.”
“Joe Biden is an ass,” Artemis stated emphatically.
“That he is, my dear, that he is,” W.C. Fields nodded emphatically, “and many a brown noser has followed that ass.”
“He shot and killed at least two of my sacred deer on a hunting trip last fall,” Artemis’ cheeks turned red with wrath and anger.
“Very sad story, my dear, very sad story,” Fields wiped his eyes with his handkerchief, “It’s enough to make one weep against the breasts of your statue in Ephesus.”
“Is that a vulture flying around the Eiffel Tower?” Artemis asked.
“I believe it is, my dear, I believe it is,” W.C. put on his monocle and looked, “It certainly isn’t my little chickadee.”
“What’s a vulture doing flying around the Eiffel Tower?” Artemis inquired.
“I believe that’s the ghoul vulture of Xi Jinping,” Fields ate a hard boiled egg, “The one who lays thousand-year-old eggs for Communist China’s paramount leader to enjoy at his large festive banquets in the Forbidden Palace.”
“What’s he doing in Paris?” Artemis wondered.
“Well I hear that George Soros’ French poodle Emmanuel Macron is calling on citizens of the Fifth Republic to freeze to death this winter in order to save the planet,” Fields ate some egg foo yung cooked in French champagne, “Perhaps the ghoul vulture of Xi Jinping is awaiting their demise so he can feed on their carcasses to his heart’s content.”
“All so that Xi Jinping can watch a bird lay an egg?” Artemis was incredulous.
“Well Xi has laid many an egg in front of the Beijing Politbureau,” Fields pointed out, “Perhaps he engages in such voyeuristic bird watching activities with vultures as a form of personal relaxation.”
“Nice to see you in Paris, William,” Artemis smiled.
“It’s nice to be in Paris, my dear,” W.C. again doffed his top hat in her direction, “I was debating whether to visit Philadelphia or Houston. I’m glad I didn’t visit Philadelphia as I heard Joe Biden sacrificed some young woman there while he was wearing the crown of King Agamemnon. Then later that evening he gave a Nazi fascist Stalinist Galactic Empire speech. He might want to brush up on his German, Russian and Klingon a little for even greater impact. I’m glad I didn’t visit Houston as they’re still weeping at NASA Mission Control over the two failed Artemis 1 Moon Rocket launches.”
“Believe it or not, William, there is a connection between what happened in Philadelphia and the crying in Houston,” Artemis pointed out.
“There is?” Fields scratched his chin.
“There is,” Artemis pulled a volume of Aeschylus out of her hotel room bookshelf.
The Aeschylus volume was right next to James Fenimore Cooper’s The Deerslayer.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 4th
2022.
Joe Biden Asked To Perform An Agamemnon
The Greek goddess Artemis being serenaded by musicians who were brought to life from a mural painting
“Who is Aeschylus?” Vice-President Kamala Harris asked one of her aides.
“He was an ancient Greek playwright who lived from approximately 525 BC to 456 BC and is believed to have written anywhere from 70 to 90 plays,” her aide answered, “He is considered the Father of Tragedy. In fact his ghost is believed to have written the recent Inflation Reduction Act. In fact on the night of April 4th 1968, Bobby Kennedy quoted from Aeschylus while addressing Afro-American voters in Indianapolis, Indiana when he had to break the tragic news to them that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King had been assassinated. The Aeschylus quote was this:
“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”
-Aeschylus
“What were some of his plays?” Kamala asked.
“Well he once wrote a trilogy of plays about the family of King Agamemnon of Mycenae the fellow who commanded the Greeks during the Trojan War,” her aide replied, “The trilogy was called The Oresteia named after Orestes who was a son of King Agamemnon.”
“Rather ironic you should be talking about The Oresteia,” remarked a leading high-ranking NASA official as he walked by on his way to the Oval Office to see Joe Biden.
“Ironic? How so?” Kamala inquired.
“That’s on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know,” the NASA official replied.
The FBI agent accompanying the NASA official was a Neo-Bolshevik Communist (like most FBI agents are these days) and did not understand the classical allusions that were being thrown around.
This entire scene was part of a dream (or was it a vision?) being seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.
The name of the high-ranking NASA official was Dr. Nachash Naga.
He was on an important mission for NASA.
The Artemis 1 moon rocket was supposed to have been launched this past Monday August 29th 2022 but then something happened and the launch was postponed until this Saturday September 3rd 2022.
But even that might be postponed further because of new information that had come up.
Unless…
“Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga addressed the Pooper-In-Chief, “We need you to do something for us.”
“Glad to oblige,” Biden ate a piece of Ex-Lax.
“Mr. President, we have a problem and it isn’t Houston,” Dr. Nachash Naga explained, “Do you remember last fall when you went deer hunting?”.
“Um, I don’t actually,” answered the Pooper-In-Chief who suffered from dementia.
“Well, you shot and killed a deer,” Dr. Nachash Naga pointed out.
“Good for me,” Joe Biden grinned.
“Well that turned out to be a bad thing, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga hissed, “It turned out that the deer you shot and killed was a deer sacred to the Greek goddess Artemis.”
“Who is Artemis?” Joe Biden looked at a photo of the Belvedere Apollo and wondered if he should invite the sculpted statue to join his cabinet.
“Artemis was the Greek goddess of the hunt and wild animals as well as the Greek goddess of the moon,” Dr. Nachash Naga flashed his incisors, “and as a result of your killing that deer sacred to her, she is preventing the Artemis 1 rocket from being launched.”
“So, what can I do about it?” Joe Biden scratched his diaper rash.
“Well when King Agamemnon of Mycenae slew and killed a deer sacred to Artemis and the goddess prevented the Greek fleet from sailing towards Troy as punishment, Agamemnon was forced to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia to Artemis to appease her wrath.”
“So what do you want me to do?” Biden put on Kamala Harris’ high school Dunce cap.
“We want you to sacrifice your daughter to Artemis in the next couple of days to appease her wrath so we can get the Artemis 1 moon rocket launched this coming Saturday,” Dr. Nachash Naga began filing his fingernails.
“Can I sniff her hair before I sacrifice her?” Joe Biden asked.
“Of course, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga looked exasperated.
“Wait,” Joe Biden suddenly had a moment of clarity after taking a Claritin tablet, “Jill might be rather pissed at me if I sacrifice Ashley.”
“Joe, I have a suggestion,” Barack Obama delivered his instructions into Joe’s earpiece as he always did, “Did you ever have any extra marital affairs?”.
“I can’t remember,” Joe was trying to remember the tune of the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memory.
“Well ask some of your FBI agents to stop sifting through Donald Trump’s underwear and try to track down any extra marital affairs you might have had and any children you might have had particularly girls,” Obama explained, “Then you can sacrifice that daughter from an extra marital affair.”
“Gee, I wonder if any are still alive,” Biden picked his nose, “This is one occasion when I wish I hadn’t been so gung ho for abortion.”
“Just send out the FBI, Joe,” Obama barked, “Find any surviving daughters from those extra marital affairs and just do the damned sacrifice. We’ve got to get to the moon before Vladimir Putin and Jackie Gleason’s wife Alice do.”
Meanwhile in Hunter Biden’s room, he was being visited by the ghost of a beautiful young Greek girl named Electra.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 31st
2022.
Artemis At The Bank of Monte Carlo
Greek goddess Artemis at the Bank of Monte Carlo
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) were trying to break into the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.
The reason?
The plans of George Soros, Bill Gates, Xi Jinping, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab and the Egyptian deities Osiris and Horus for a totalitarian One World Government were locked away in the vault.
It was fortunate for Van Helsing and Whitstable that the Irish leprechaun Yaldabaoth happened to know the combination for the vault.
Over a month ago, Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka managed to obtain the combination from Yaldabaoth during a secret meeting in Dublin Ireland.
Sadly at that meeting Yaldabaoth died from food poisoning (from food he recently ate at the Vatican) but only after he had given Van Helsing and Tanaka the combination.
Yaldabaoth’s body was now being kept on ice at the Set Enterprises’ laboratory in London England on the off chance Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher might discover a formula for bringing a leprechaun back from the dead.
The only trouble is Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster occasionally crawled out of his aquarium and helped himself to some of the ice (that was preserving Yaldabaoth’s body) in order to add some ice to the glasses of lemonade shandy that he was drinking.
He was severely reprimanded by Sherrielock Holmes for doing this.
A reprimand that Michelangelo seemed to enjoy.
And thus he kept doing it.
But the little Michelangeloian escapades and Yaldabaoth’s preservation were helping to keep London ice makers in business.
Dracul Van Helsing looked at the Chinese fortune cookie slip that Yaldabaoth had given him.
That had the combination to the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo written on it.
He tried the combination and the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo opened.
A little groundhog called Monte Carlo Monte Cristo ran out of the vault door after it was opened.
“Do you suppose he saw his shadow?” Van Helsing asked Whitstable as the groundhog ran off into the night.
“Van Helsing,” Whitstable spoke in an exasperated voice, “Never mind the groundhog. Just find the Soros-Gates-Xi-Schwab-Osiris-Horus plans for World Domination.”
“Still it would be nice to know if we had six more weeks of winter,” Van Helsing noted, “After all today is Groundhog Day.”
“The plans, the plans!” Whitstable screamed.
“That reminds me of Tattoo the dwarf on the TV show Fantasy Island saying “The plane! The plane!”.” Van Helsing recalled.
“Just get the fucking plans!” Whitstable cursed.
Van Helsing noticed the plans marked Dante’s Inferno and grabbed them.
Yaldabaoth had said those were the Soros-Gates-Xi-Schwab-Osiris-Horus plans for World Domination.
After Van Helsing had grabbed the plans and stepped outside the vault, he noticed the Greek goddess Artemis sitting on a cushion not far from the vault.
“Well you’re a very naughty boy, Van Helsing,” Artemis smoothed her dress, “Stealing from the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo. I think you better get across my lap so I can give you a good spanking.”
“I think you’re right,” Van Helsing took his clothes off and lay across Artemis’ knee.
“Van Helsing!” Whitstable screamed, “I think that fleeing groundhog tripped an alarm. The Monte Carlo Police cars seem to be arriving in the distance. Let’s get out of here!”.
“I’ve always got time for a spanking from Artemis,” Van Helsing remarked as the Greek goddess of the hunt began thoroughly walloping his backside with a wooden hairbrush.
The ghost of Orson Welles who had been keeping lookout outside the bank as soon as he heard the sound of wooden hairbrush striking human flesh decided to leave.
“I wonder if I’ll be like Bill Murray’s character of TV weatherman Phil Connors in the movie Groundhog Day and live this day over and over again,” Van Helsing commented as he was getting a thorough bottom blistering lying across Artemis’ sexy black silk nylon knees.
“I don’t want to live this day over and over again,” Whitstable remarked as he saw the Monte Carlo Police exit their vehicles.
Meanwhile out in the woods not far from the Bank, the groundhog Monte Carlo Monte Cristo crawled in the shadows.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 2nd
2021.
A Date With Artemis
Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was down in the U.S. state of Georgia to investigate allegations of election fraud.
There was actual video footage of people smuggling in ballots into closed polling places after hours.
However that video evidence wasn’t enough to satisfy pro-Communist Republican officials in the State of Georgia.
W. Cleon Skousen’s 1958 book The Naked Communist said that the Communist plan was to take over at least one if not both of the two political parties in the U.S.
While the U.S. Democrats were pretty much Communist for the most part, so were a lot of U.S. Republicans.
The trouble had started with the C.I.A. Deep State.
Because the C.I.A. (then the O.S.S. during and immediately after World War II) began studying and admiring the Nazi SS psychological technology and mind control techniques, this made them prone to developing a totalitarian mind set for themselves.
Like the 1963 Vincent Price film Diary of A Madman in which Price’s character of a French judge becomes possessed by the demonic entity called a horla who had possessed a murderer he had sentenced to death, so too the American C.I.A. had become possessed by the same dark force that had possessed the Nazi SS.
It was quite easy to switch from being a Nazi/Fascist totalitarian to being a Marxist/Communist totalitarian and back again.
In the end, both Nazism/Fascism and Marxist/Communism were controlled by the same demonic forces.
Those invisible entities (fallen angels and demons) were not in the perception and world view of those with a Darwinian materialistic mindset (which was most of the world’s media, cultural and political elite), therefore they saw Nazism/Fascism and Marxist/Communism as being different ideologies rather than being two separate peas of the same pod.
George H.W. Bush was a Company man (Company as in C.I.A.).
His father Prescott Bush had been a Nazi sympathizer and had even been investigated by the U.S. government back in the early 1940s for his views.
Ronald Reagan’s first choice for his Vice-Presidential running mate in 1980 had been Jack Kemp a Republican Congressman from Buffalo New York.
However he was talked by some of his more globalist oriented advisors into naming Company (C.I.A.) man George H.W. Bush as his Vice-Presidential running mate.
Thus the anti-Communist Reagan had as his Vice-President George H.W. Bush a man who could flick back and forth from being Nazi/Fascist totalitarian to being Marxist/Communist totalitarian with the ease of a chameleon.
With this background in mind, Whitstable began his investigation.
. . .
The Vatican Cardinal Samhain Salaman was reading a report given to him by the Vatican Astronomical Academy.
Apparently the Christmas Star or the Star of Bethlehem (which is an extremely close conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn) will be able to be seen this Winter Solstice of December 21st for the first time in 800 years.
The last time such a close alignment between these two objects (Jupiter and Saturn) in the night sky could be seen was just before dawn on March 4th 1226.
So the Christmas Star will be visible this year of 2020, Samhain Cardinal Salaman thought as he closed the door of his office.
Outside two of Pope Francis’ gay secretarial aides had been doing it on the hallway floor like two animals doing it on the TV Cable Discovery Channel.
. . .
The Greek goddess Artemis was awaiting the arrival of Dracul Van Helsing.
Dracul was seeking her aid in battling Covid Communists.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 4th 2020
Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing
Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was sitting in his office at 10 Downing Street going over some papers this evening.
Earlier in the day, Johnson had sent three Privy Council members up to Balmoral Castle in Scotland to get Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to prorogue (suspend) Parliament for a month to cut back on the amount of time opposition MPs could use to prevent a No Deal Brexit on October 31st (the biggest Halloween trick or treat in British history).
Outside 10 Downing Street, protestors were shouting “Way hey, ho-ho, this BJ has got to go…”
Inside an adjacent cabinet meeting room, Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was thinking to himself, “What have those protestors got against blow jobs?”.
. . .
BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy was reading the news headlines, “And in other news, U.S. President Donald Trump has blasted the territory of Puerto Rico for having Hurricane Dorian barrelling down in their direction…”
The news clip shows Trump speaking to the media before boarding a helicopter, “I’d just like to say that it’s very very inconsiderate for Puerto Rico to have a hurricane barrelling in their direction for the third time in two years. Not cool at all. Two years ago they were hit by Hurricane Irma and then they were severely hit by Hurricane Maria which caused massive amounts of damage. Then they had the post-Maria nerve to say that it was a disaster and they required emergency aid from Washington DC. Again not very cool. And now a mere 2 years later, Hurricane Dorian is heading towards them. Yet again not very cool. What makes Puerto Rico think that regular American taxpayers will keep bailing them out every time they allow themselves to get hit by a hurricane? Like I say very very inconsiderate of them.”
Geeta Guru-Murthy: Mr. Trump then boarded the helicopter where he got hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit according to descriptions by Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents.
. . .
The Greek goddess Artemis was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a London hotel room.
“Mr. Van Helsing,” Artemis beckoned him, “I’m here to tell you about the suspicious activities that have been happening at the Thule Air Base in Greenland but let’s get down to other business first…”
And that other business that Artemis had in mind turned out to be very pleasant indeed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 28th
2019.
One Hell of A Snowstorm From Hel The Norse Goddess
Norse Goddess Hel: Do come in out of the cold, Mr. Van Helsing, and come warm yourself inside my welcoming fireplace.
Much of the United States was suffering one Hell of a cold spell and one Hell of a snowstorm.
And it was being caused by Hel the goddess of the Norse frozen underworld.
She had brought one Hell of a polar vortex with her from her abyss in the frozen northern wastelands.
She was able to do so because Wotan/Odin the chief of the Norse Germanic pantheon of gods (known as the AEsir) and King of Asgard was currently in a Set Enterprises eye clinic in London under the care of Dr. Cadbury Rocher as a result of his one good eye being hit by an arrow fired from the Celtic stag god Cernunnos’ crossbow on a U.S. Republican Party Country Club deer hunting trip gone horribly awry and hideously astray.
Since Wotan/Odin wasn’t around to veto the idea, Hel decided to have some fun.
She was currently in a Chicago hotel enjoying both the cold and the snow storm from inside her warmly heated luxury hotel room.
The Norse trickster god Loki was in a Chicago park trying to re-enact a scene from the 1997 Julia Roberts movie My Best Friend’s Wedding and ended up getting his tongue frozen to the ice cold pussy of a frozen ice sculpture statue of the Greek goddess Aphrodite.
The Norse wolf Fenrir and the Baphomet (who was currently in Chicago on a cross-country speaking tour raising funds for the U.S. Democratic Party) laughed heartedly as a Chicago Fire Department welding unit was brought in to free Loki’s tongue from Aphrodite’s pussy.
Dracul Van Helsing was currently walking around Chicago caught in a vortex of time caught between a Chicago in a black and white Hollywood film movie set of the 1930s and the Chicago of the January 30th 2019 polar vortex snowstorm from Hell caused by Hel.
The vortex of time was brought about by the mad scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland interfering with Dracul’s Houdini-Tesla prototype magic lanterns by which the Canadian vampire hunter was able to time travel.
Shiva had aided CERN scientists in doing this.
Shiva’s wife Kali on the other hand had reached out to help Dracul Van Helsing.
For some reason, Kali’s mention of Dracul Van Helsing on a previous occasion had caused Shiva to turn into a green-eyed monster.
The ghost of Orson Welles, looking very much like the ghost of Christmas Past in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, appeared to Van Helsing.
“Persephone the Greek goddess of the underworld has sent me to help you,” Welles’ ghost explained, “Van Helsing, you seem to work your way into the most precarious situations. I really don’t understand it.”
Welles’ ghost led Van Helsing on to a Persian flying carpet where they flew through the air to the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago.
There the Norse goddess Hel invited Van Helsing into her room.
An invitation from the Norse goddess Hel to Dracul Van Helsing.
As Hel and Van Helsing made out and practiced tantric sex on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace, Welles’ ghost complained about the fact that he was reduced to making porno films in the 21st Century.
Welles and Van Helsing left the room whereupon the door to the next room magically opened and the Norse goddess Freya the Queen of Asgard invited Van Helsing in:
Freya: Do come in and stay awhile, Mr. Van Helsing.
As Van Helsing and Freya engaged in a Kama Sutra tantric sex encounter,
Welles remarked over the Riesling wine and the delicious Norse cod that he was eating, “Well Van Helsing, there’s nothing like forging an alliance between Odin/Wotan and Shiva in one cosmic act of revenge.”
Next door, Morrigan the Celtic goddess of war invited Van Helsing in for a lesson as Welles watched.
Welles drowned his voyeurism in pints of Guinness and bottles of Irish whiskey.
Finally Zeus’ daughter Artemis the Greek goddess of the moon made the Call of The Wild from next door.
Artemis displays a full moon for Van Helsing on this evening.
“Zeus, Shiva and Odin/Wotan in a triple alliance,” Welles moaned over several bucketloads of the best French champagne as he watched the divinely cosmic sexual encounter.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 30th
2019.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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