The Search

May 9, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon had brought his parish priest Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds to brunch with him after the church service.

Renfield greeted Father Bury Saint Edmunds, “How’s it going, Father?”.

“Fine, thank you, Mr. Renfield,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds answered the British MP.

“So how’s everything on the ecclesiastical front?” Renfield inquired.

“Well, early last week Pope Francis made a peculiar statement,” the priest replied, “He said salvation and redemption aren’t granted to people individually but only collectively as members of a group.”

“Sounds like Communism to me,” Renfield remarked.

“It does to me as well,” the priest agreed.

. . .

And at their brunch the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the vampire Lord Tweedsmuir were likewise discussing Communism with relation to Bill Gates and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

“So I hear after 27 years of marriage Bill Gates is finally divorcing his wife Melinda,” Lord Tweedsmuir sipped his whiskey, “Their divorce being announced on Twitter.”

“Yes, Bill Gates must have recently got the proper optical prescription for his glasses and after putting them on, he finally noticed that Melinda looks like a man in drag,” Set added soda to his own glass of whiskey, “so the marriage is now over.”

“So the courts will now decide who gets which half of the world between them?” Tweedsmuir helped himself to a sandwich.

“Undoubtedly,” Set nodded.

“You said to me over the phone earlier that the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has uncovered information about Bill Gates, Communism and the CCP?” Lord Tweedsmuir put down his glass of whiskey.

“Yes, Bill Gates has visited the People’s Republic of China more than a dozen times since his retirement from Microsoft in 2008,” Set pointed out.

“Maybe he has a Chinese mistress?” Lord Tweedsmuir suggested.

“It turns out he does,” Set answered, “a Miss Shelly Wang. Who served as his translator on his many visits to China. Interestingly Bill took Melinda along on his trips to Africa but not his trips to China. There are rumours that Shelly Wang gave birth to Bill Gates’ child. Another reason Bill and Melinda may have split up.”

“That would definitely do it all right,” Lord Tweedsmuir nodded.

“Anyways Gates has made several interesting statements during his visits to China,” Set went on, “One of them was “Only socialism can save the climate”. And by socialism, I don’t think he meant old time Scandinavian social democracy.”

“But rather Marxist-Leninist socialism of the CCP variety?” Tweedsmuir raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Set nodded, “Then he added, “Capitalism cannot save the planet.” In that respect he sounds like an old time Marxist-Leninist.”

“Or Pope Francis,” Tweedsmuir commented.

“Exactly,” Set agreed, “He has also said “Paranoia about China is crazy”. Yes, no need to be paranoid about a country that spies on its own citizens. Gates is one capitalist billionaire who seems to be quite enamoured with the Chinese Communist system. In the same way that billionaire Armand Hammer the CEO of Occidental Petroleum used to be quite enamoured with the Soviet system of the old Soviet Union. Armand Hammer used to appear on American TV talk shows such as The Merv Griffin Show back in the 1970s and ’80s and tell audiences what a wonderful and kind chap Lenin was. Now Gates is doing the same thing in singing the praises of the People’s Republic of China.”

“A Communist billionaire,” Tweedsmuir shook his head, “I really didn’t think there could be such a thing.”

Set went on, “The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has also discovered that in China’s national textbooks studied by all Chinese students, Bill Gates is referred to as “a Western person who is a Communist driver with Communist spirit”. So you’ve got the CCP calling Bill Gates a good Communist.”

“I take it the mainstream media in North America is unaware of what’s written about Bill Gates in Chinese national textbooks,” Tweedsmuir put down his empty glass.

“The mainstream media in North America have a hard time reading and comprehending English language textbooks so one can only imagine the titanically colossal struggle they’d face in reading Chinese language textbooks,” Set noted, “For they are far far longer than a CONFUCIUS SAY message in a Chinese restaurant fortune cookie.”

. . .

The Greek goddess Athena was checking out the books in the living room of Dracul Van Helsing’s apartment.

“Is there any particular book you’re looking for?” Dracul Van Helsing asked as he brought in the home delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food.

“Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Athena answered.

“You must have heard about my visit this past Friday to an English country garden adjacent to an English country manor’s library and living room,” Van Helsing smiled.

“I did,” Athena nodded, “And those creatures Napoleon sketched whose sketches the French Emperor put in the last pages of that book.”

“What about them?” Van Helsing asked.

“Where do you think Bill Gates got his ideas on what to put in his next vaccine?” Athena asked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 9th 2021.

Permalink 12 Comments

Athena and The Kaiser

May 3, 2021 at 10:27 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The year was 1899.
The Kaiser Wilhelm II entered the storage area of the German Imperial Palace in Berlin.
He expected to see an old table that had once been in the Temple of Diana in Ephesus.
It was there.
He expected to see old ceramic pots that had once been sitting in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi to be sitting on the table.
They were there.
He expected to see a chandelier that had once hung in the Palais Garnier Opera House in Paris that had been left unmolested by Erik the Phantom of The Opera to be there.
It was there.
What he hadn’t expected to see was Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom sitting there on the table.

“Athena?” Said the Kaiser.

“You recognize me?” The Greek goddess of wisdom smiled.

“I have a bust of your head in my study,” the Kaiser answered, “In the middle of every bleak December, a raven comes in the room and sits on it crying “Nevermore”. Damn peculiar as my uncle Eddy the Prince of Wales would put it.”

Athena opened her purse and handed him some sketches.

Kaiser Wilhelm looked at the sketches, “These are dinosaurs of some sort aren’t they?”.

“They’re called Tyrannosaurus Rex to be exact,” Athena nodded.

“What is this saucer shaped craft they’re crawling out of?” Wilhelm inquired.

“It is the vehicle they use to fly across space above the Earth,” Athena answered.

“I see,” said Wilhelm, “Why show me these?”.

“Someday these creatures may come to you and offer to produce poison and chemical gases for you that could be used in war. Refuse their offer,” Athena instructed.

“What sort of war might happen that I would even think of using such a weapon?” The Kaiser asked.

He looked up.

Athena had disappeared.

The Kaiser shrugged and took the sketches with him.

He went up to his study and put them under his bust of Pallas Athena.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 3rd 2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

Ulysses, The World Communists’ Trojan Horse and Tom Cruise’s Comeuppance

December 16, 2020 at 11:38 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“It is an ironic masterstroke of history that a man with the heart and soul of a Ku Klux Klansman (let’s call him Joe Biden) would be used by the Communists as a trojan horse to seize control of the U.S. Presidency.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

In the Elysian Fields, Ulysses the Greek hero king of Ithaca was complaining to King Agamemnon of Mycenae (who was busy lying on a couch as he was getting counselling from the ghost of Sigmund Freud over his relationships with his children Electra and Orestes), “I knew the Trojan Horse. I was friends with the Trojan Horse. Hell, I built the bloody Trojan Horse. Joe Biden is one fucked up Trojan Horse.”

At the request of Ulysses’ patron and muse Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom, Ulysses was dispensationally released from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone to do battle with the KKK heart and soul Trojan Horse of the Great Reset World Communist Party.


Penelope the Queen of Ithaca awaits the return of her husband Ulysses

. . .

After losing a snowball fight to British MP Renfield R. Renfield, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had agreed to relax lockdown restrictions in the UK over Christmas.

Up to 3 households could meet over Christmas for a social gathering.

The lockdown restriction loosenings had been met with outrage by the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist health authorities and “experts”.

As they gathered to protest the easing restrictions, a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and a group of small snowclad garden gnome lawn ornaments carrying cream pies launched those dessert missiles into the faces of the Communist constipated looking health authorities and “experts”.

“That bunny rabbit and those gnomes weren’t wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” a Harvey Wallbanger drinking health “expert” remarked.

. . .

“You’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” an irate actor Tom Cruise beat up up his film’s camera crew and some movie extras on a London street.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield happened to be walking by when he noticed the commotion being caused by the abusive and profanity spewing Hollywood superstar nutjob.

Renfield went up to Cruise, grabbed him and drove his head through a wall rendering him unconscious.

Renfield continued walking down the street singing,

“Have yourself a Merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight…”

The incident was captured on camera.

Actress Nicole Kidman, watching news footage of it on television, gushed, “Who was that handsome man?”.

“I believe that’s your ex-husband,” her hairstylist replied.

“No, not that moron,” Nicole said, “The one who just drove his head through a wall.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 16th
2020.

Permalink 14 Comments

Minerva

August 21, 2020 at 11:02 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

And all the leather bound volumes on shelves were buried under dust
And all the gold on many crowns had finally turned to rust
A wireless library stretched across the globe
which technocrats wanted implants in everyone’s frontal lobe

Every fact and every fiction was now determined by Google
10 years hence you may see pic of Siamese cat when you search for “poodle”
And all will say it must be so
For high tech is not our foe

Alexa has replaced the shrink by the couch
With bar codes in your hands, no money to welch
Social interaction is missing like a person’s lips
Buried under a mask with one’s nose and no sinking ships

All that one sees are the other person’s eyes
Which have been Net trained to show nothing but lies
“The truth is out there” is a phrase now foreign as ancient Etruscan
if Truth ever existed, it’s as dead as electoral collusion with a Russian

The truth is not out there, it’s neither here nor there
For every day is filled with hope previous generations labelled “despair”
They march in tune to the beat of a non-existent drummer
where an eternal winter is labelled an endless summer

Good little sheep they all are
Marching near and far
For 2020 was the year most lost perfect vision
As their minds were infected by a diabolical incision

2030 was the UN’s sustainable goal
But the world’s elites bet on a closer running foal
And they got their wish
from the bottom of a Wuhan petri dish

The medium was indeed the message like Marshall McLuhan predicted
And people soon ceased calling themselves “homeless” after they were evicted
The media echoed the same message day after day
And people’s souls were lost like needle in the hay
And the Devil smiled as he sang “You’re all going my way”

“Be careful what you wish for” was now an old forgotten refrain
lost in a forgotten past like the whistle of ancient steam train
They had spent so much time in the late 20th Century watching movies
about lands of Dystopia and the post-Apocalypse
That finally when in reality it came to pass, no one asked, what is this?

Far from the madd’ing crowd that was so maddening
He lived in a home far away
surrounded by books and old leather volumes
where the sun ruled the day and the moon ruled the night
And 2 +2 = 5 was never ever right

In his mind’s eye he saw the lovely Athena
ancient goddess of wisdom that haunted his dreama’
Minerva was her Roman name
and she bore wisdom’s flame

Holding ancient scrolls
She pointed towards those
Who sought her light still
like one man alone on the side of a hill
Who sought neither the blue nor the Matrix red pill
For all medication inclined for a soul to kill

Her owl flew in the direction
of a world far from perfection
Knowledge to impart
Even just for one was a start.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday August 20th
2020.

Permalink 19 Comments

Athena’s Song

October 5, 2019 at 9:56 pm (Arts, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Athena’s Song

The Kraken Napoleon VI was sitting in a Parisienne cafe with several bottles of rum in front of him.

The Ancient Greek god Zeus entered the cafe and sat down from the Kraken.

“I believe we met on Mount Olympus last year,” said Zeus, “You’re Medusa’s husband aren’t you?”.

“I am,” the Kraken nodded.

Zeus ordered a glass of ouzo from the waiter.

“I understand you’re a member of the European Parliament along with Medusa,” Zeus added some Grecian Formula to his grey beard.

“That is correct,” said the Kraken Napoleon VI, “Waiting for the day that the French people elect me Emperor of France.”

“Any luck with that?” Zeus took out a comb and started combing his beard.

“No,” the Kraken admitted.

“Bummer,” said Zeus who was also recalling the day he unexpectedly walked into his son Apollo’s bedroom when the latter had his friend Hyacinth over.

The Greek deity and the Kraken then discussed Brexit.

The Kraken asked Zeus if he could do anything to possibly help the Kraken’s friend Renfield R. Renfield who, even though he was a British Transhumanist Party MP, was a member of Boris Johnson’s cabinet.

Zeus agreed.

Meanwhile on stage in a Paris nightclub was Zeus’ daughter Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.

Athena sang a song,

“Those were the days of wine and roses,
Love will be like this always one supposes 
But as the sands of time travel on
Wine loses its flavour and the singer their song
What once was wonder has turned to dust 
like a once new car turned to rust
The sun has set, the moon is eclipsed,
no sparks now fly at exchange of lips,
The day is done, The night is black,
Love has fled down the track,
Enjoy the days of wine and roses while you can
Before the time you just feel an also ran.”

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Saturday October 5th
2019.

Permalink 8 Comments

Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

June 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had sent his secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to spy on the meeting of Donald Trump’s Security Council last night.

The security council was made up of Trump, National Security advisor John Bolton, U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Sen. Chuck Schumer and various leading members of both houses of Congress.

Tallbanger hung around as Trump met with various leading Pentagon officials afterwards.

Trump was going to order military retaliation for the downing of a U.S. drone by Iranian forces.
However he happened to ask a general how many people might be killed in a retaliatory strike on Iran.

When the general answered at least 150, the invisible 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit spoke up, “You can’t kill 150 people just for the downing of an unmanned drone.
That’s totally disproportionate to what happened. Besides you shouldn’t be giving the president of Amazon any ideas for when their drone parcel deliveries are taken down either by accident or design.”

Upon hearing the words coming at him from an invisible voice, Trump called off the attack 10 minutes before it happened.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield told Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that he Renfield would not be named to the cabinet next month even if Boris Johnson won the British Conservative Party leadership and became Prime Minister.

“Apparently most world leaders, friend and foe alike, are resolutely opposed to me becoming Britain’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering,” Renfield informed Athelstan over his 24th glass of brandy of the past half hour.

“I’m most sorry to hear that, sir,” Athelstan brought Renfield another glass of brandy, “Weren’t there any world leaders that spoke in your favour?”.

“Only King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan,” Renfield answered.

“I always admired King Abdullah and Queen Rania,” said Athelstan.

“Most intelligent people do,” Renfield answered.

“How does Boris Johnson feel about this?” Athelstan inquired.

“Hard to say,” Renfield downed his 25th glass of brandy, “Apparently Boris Johnson and his partner Carrie Symonds had a violent argument over the matter last night. Neighbours called police when they heard the commotion. Carrie Symonds told Johnson that he should tell Donald Trump, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Emmanuel Macron to go fuck themselves along with the members of Britain’s deep dark state. Johnson apparently spilled red wine all over her sofa in response causing the ghost of Orson Welles to weep uncontrollably when he saw it happen.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal had marked the morning of the summer solstice by performing human sacrifices in the catacombs below the Vatican.

Pope Francis awakened by the screams had spent the morning pondering what the French Jesuit theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin had thought of ETs (extraterrestrials) and whether he had written anything on the subject in his numerous writings.

. . .

Ares the Greek god of war, who had spent the night before celebrating with John Bolton and Mike Pompeo over the possibility of war with Iran, had spent all day today drowning his sorrows after Trump called off military action.

Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom on the other hand was very relieved.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 21st
2019.

Permalink 32 Comments

Orson Welles, Atargatis and Athena

June 24, 2018 at 11:51 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Orson Welles, Atargatis and Athena

Orson Welles ordered his 4th glass of wine 🍷 of the evening.

As he sampled it, he hoped he wasn’t turning into a lush.

Being a lush might be good enough for Sir John Falstaff but it wasn’t good enough for him Orson Welles.

He had too much he wanted to tell the world.

As Welles took another sip of the wine 🍷, he reflected on his failed marriage to Rita Hayworth whom he had formally divorced on November 10th of last year (the current evening in which he sat drinking wine in The Mermaid Wine Bistro and Lounge was June 24th 1948).

What had happened that caused his marriage to go wrong?

Probably many factors Welles thought as he gazed at his reflection in the blood red liquid of the glass.

He reflected back to the time he had considered making his own film version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula – one that he thought would be vastly superior to the 1931 Universal Pictures film version with Bela Lugosi.

Financing for the project had fell through but he had done several screen tests for it.

Including one with a beautiful Romanian brunette woman who interestingly enough called herself Draculina.

During the screen test, Welles who had been reading the role of Jonathan Harker to her playing the role of one of Dracula’s wives was very impressed by her extremely authentic vampiress like performance.

During the test, Draculina had gotten so into character (she must have been an avid student of Russian theatre practitioner Konstantin Stanislavsky), she had leaned over and given Welles a very passionate bite and hickey on the neck.

Unfortunately, Draculina did this just as Rita entered the studio.

That certainly didn’t help the relationship between husband and wife, Welles thought as he finished his glass and ordered a fifth.

The director turned his attention to other matters.

He thought about the peculiar dream he had had last night in which a lobster had appeared to him and communicated with him telepathically.

The lobster explained that his name was Michelangelo and he was a psychic lobster who was communicating with him from London in the year 2018.

Michelangelo explained to him that the Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis (who was the mother of Semiramis the 1st Babylonian Queen) was intending to destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱 in that year of 2018.

It was at that moment that the phone rang waking Welles from his deep sleep.

It was a wrong number.

“No, this isn’t Floppety’s Flop House,” Welles slammed the receiver down angrily.

Welles finished his 5th glass of wine 🍷 and decided not to order another.

Otherwise he might really turn into a Sir John Falstaff.

He reached for his overcoat and hat.

He then stumbled out into the night and waved down a taxi that would drive him home.

When he arrived and fumbled around in his pocket for the keys to his room, Welles thought about the strange dream.

If this Atargatis woman of the sea was going to try to destroy Israel in 2018, that meant the nation would survive at least another 70 years.

Israeli independence had only been declared by Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion last month and already it was locked into a war of survival with its Arab neighbours.

Why had this psychic crustacean contacted him anyways, Welles wondered?

What could he a man of the theatre do about a Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess planned invasion 70 years down the road?

“Oh Lord, send me wisdom,” Welles prayed aloud as he opened the door to his room.

Standing there waiting for him was Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 24th
2018.

Permalink 11 Comments

Pan Goatee In Athens

July 3, 2015 at 5:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee In Athens

Genetically created half-man half goat satyr serial killer and contract assassin Pan Goatee was walking the streets of Athens, Greece.

Pan was seeing what chaos he could create in this already chaotic situation that was unfolding in Greece.

What inspired him to come here was a dream he had the night before where he was standing outside the walls of ancient Troy and he saw Paris (the lover of Helen of Troy) standing beneath the Trojan Horse and looking up and shouting, “Hey Ulysses, I really think it’s time you come down off your high horse.”

As Ulysses did so, he forgot to use the ladder and took the quick way down instead.

An action which resulted in his death.

To say nothing of his brains being bashed out and splattered all over the ground.

The goddess Athena appeared and wept.

Ulysses had been one of her favourite mortals.

For as a member of the female sex, it had been her experience that thinking was an action that most males were totally unfamiliar with.

And the fact that Ulysses had made much use of his cerebral processes had sent her the goddess of wisdom into many an orgasm.

As Athena kneeled there weeping over the death of Ulysses and bewailing her loss of orgasms in the foreseeable future, Pan Goatee googled on his Samsung Galaxy smart phone recipes for cooking brain stew.

That’s when he woke up.

He astral projected himself to Athens to see what chaos he could wreak.

He shapeshifted into the appearance of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and stood there sticking his tongue out and making fun of Greek citizens queing in a long line up at one bank ATM machine.

He then went to another ATM machine at another bank around the corner where there was another long que of Greek citizens anxious to get money.

This time he shapeshifted into the appearance of Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and stuck his tongue out and made fun of those standing there.

Back in his air conditioned hotel room over an ice cold cocktail, Pan Goatee enjoyed a good laugh over the Angela/Alexis impersonations he had performed at numerous long bank ques throughout Athens.

It should make for an interesting result in next Sunday’s referendum, Pan Goatee thought to himself.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 2nd
2015.

Permalink 17 Comments