Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

November 2, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

Down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was marking Dias de los Muertos by beheading various notorious drug dealers making them join the ranks of the dead.

The beheading spectacle was pissing off Santa Muerte the self-proclaimed patron saint of drug dealers.

Qonzilqointec’s approach to dealing with drug dealers was not something that was done by American agencies who seemed to operate in a Pope Francis anti-capital punishment limp wristed pansy style fashion when it came to dealing with the problem.

Which is why America was losing the War on Drugs.

Over a year ago, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had conducted a one man commando raid down in Mexico in which he had dismembered and beheaded the entire membership of a drug trafficking gang who called themselves the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

If Renfield’s action had been emulated by American agencies, it might not be necessary for the U.S. to build a wall as was proposed by a certain toupee wearing bozo in the Oval Office since those who would be coming north of the border would be those families in search of a better life for themselves instead of drug dealers seeking to maximize their profits on American streets.

. . .

In Washington DC, Donald Trump had tweeted a tweet,

@realDonaldTrump Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is a great guy. Wonderful guy. Very highly intelligent guy. Said in recent interview that I’m America’s best President. Very astute and sound judgement.

. . .

Meanwhile in London, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was riding his horse Bucephalus Reborn through a London park in search of his jack o’ lantern pumpkin head.

His head had been blown off in a terrific wind storm that had hit central London this past Wednesday night.

The Headless Horseman did manage to borrow a new jack o’ lantern pumpkin head from the kitchen of the Saint James Court Hotel where he was staying this past Halloween night but still he missed his old head.

His old jack o’ lantern pumpkin head had been autographed at the back by Scottish actor Sir Sean Connery.

So now he had been hoping to see if his head had blown into this particular park.

He came across London’s famous Witch Hazel who was holding his head:

After Buchephalus Reborn had performed the old Irish Rovers jig Dance of The Sugarplum Fairies at Witch Hazel’s request, Witch Hazel returned the head to the Headless Horseman.

Off rode Friedrich with his favourite head on his shoulders again as the back of the jack o’ lantern pumpkin told passers-by, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Saturday November 2nd 
2019.

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The Headless Horseman’s Halloween

October 31, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Headless Horseman’s Halloween

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was sitting in a booth in the lounge in the Saint James Court Hotel in London along with his zombie black horse Bucephalus Reborn.

Both had managed to escape last night from the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s pet attack cat Nefertiti Galore by running down a back alley.

The alley was then blown up by an Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi impersonator who whimpered like a dog and then detonated a suicide vest.

Nefertiti Galore managed to dodge the falling rubble and then went around the corner and had a plate of Fish and Chips at a nearby Fish and Chips shop.

The Headless Horseman and his horse went from the back alley (now blocked by rubble at the street entrance) through the back door of a professional live theatre where they joined the cast of Shakespeare’s Richard III in taking a bow and a curtain call at the end of their performance.

One of the actresses remarked to the actor who played Richard III, “It looks like your horse arrived a little too late.”

The actor who played Richard III remarked to the Headless Horseman, “I’d have given you my kingdom if you had arrived a little sooner.”

The impromptu remarks were met with vigorous applause from the audience.

The Headless Horseman and Bucephalus Reborn then walked to the Saint James Court Hotel where they had booked a room for a couple of nights.

Now they were spending Halloween having drinks in the lounge and dancing with costumed patrons.

Someone dressed as a Vatican Cardinal entered the lounge.

“Authentic costume,” remarked the Headless Horseman who had borrowed a jack o’ lantern pumpkin from the hotel kitchen and put it on his shoulders so he could see.

“I really am a Vatican Cardinal,” answered Samhain Cardinal Salaman, “My flight to the Irish border has been delayed. I was supposed to perform the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this evening on the Irish border between north and south between 11:30 PM and 11:59 PM to forever bind the United Kingdom to the European Union so the whole continent can be under the Egyptian god Osiris when he becomes Pharaoh of the coming United States of Europe. Osiris, Maitreya the Himalayan serpent and golden cobra High King of Ireland are expecting me as are the demons Baal and Baphomet, the High Queen of Ireland who is the resurrected Egyptian Queen Cleopatra and no doubt Yaldabaoth the infamous intoxicated leprechaun who sleeps on the border.”

“Wow, well sit down and have a drink and drown your sorrows,” Friedrich ordered him a drink.

Buchephalus Reborn managed to drink both the Headless Horseman and the Vatican Cardinal under the table.

The Vatican Cardinal missed his next available flight.

And so the Celtic Druidic Mass was not said.

Allowing Britain a brief reprieve from the coming United States of Europe.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday October 31st
2019.

One of the many beautiful women in the Saint James Court Hotel Lounge lucky enough to dance with the horse Bucephalus Reborn.

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The Great Pumpkin

October 30, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Great Pumpkin

The vampiress Allatallahbel held an apple in her hands.

The vampiress priestess of Baal held it out to the visitor to the Vatican.

“Halloween apples,” she smiled.

The visitor took the apple, bit into it and ate.

His head immediately exploded leaving an awful mess on the Vatican walls for the Vatican cleaning staff to clean up.

For the apple being from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil had given the man full knowledge of both good and evil.

And naturally, being mortal, he could not handle that knowledge.

So his head exploded leaving brains and cerebral fluids all over a Renaissance portrait of Pope Alexander VI.

The Borgia Pope had never looked so good.

And as for the man who had tasted the knowledge of good and evil, he had surely died.

Making the original Serpent of Eden a liar.

. . .

The Vampiress Priestess of Baal’s ally Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was riding his zombie black horse Bucephalus Reborn across the lawn of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.

He had been sent here by Allatallahbel to bump off British MP Renfield R. Renfield who had become a major thorn in the side to some of Allatallabel’s vampiress and middle eastern goddess allies.

Unbeknownst to the Headless Horseman and his singing black zombie horse who was currently singing the lyrics “I wore raspberry beret” namely because the horse was wearing a raspberry beret making him look extremely ridiculous on this night before Halloween, Renfield was in a Bed and Breakfast in the town of Tewkesbury getting ready to begin his constituency MP re-election campaign.

The Headless Horseman was riding along without his pumpkin head because it had been blown off in a strong wind storm that had suddenly descended on the streets of central London.

As such, he did not see all the huge cubes of a mysterious scarlet red coloured ice that decorated the lawns of the Set estate.

And as for Buchephalus Reborn, he was so engrossed in his own singing as well as his raspberry beret slipping down over his equine eyes, the horse did not notice the mysterious scarlet red coloured ice cubes either.

The horse slipped on the ice cubes and fell sending his rider Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow soaring through the air and through the huge panoramic window of the Set Estate living room.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, who had been comfortably sitting in his arm chair holding a glass of very good Port wine in one hand and a copy of The Economist Magazine in the other, called out to his butler and valet, “Athelstan, I think you better immediately call the emergency number of the 24-hour window replacement service.”

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan walked over to the phone and proceeded to do just that.

“Nefertiti Galore,” Set called out to the estate’s watch cat with fierce claws, “Sic him.”

The Headless Horseman soon found himself attacked by the cat Nefertiti Galore and rushed back out the window.

Somehow he miraculously managed to get back on top of Bucephalus Reborn and horse and rider fled through the streets of London being diligently pursued by the ferocious claws of Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore.

Up above the skies of London, a ferocious looking Great Pumpkin shone down on top of them.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 30th
2019.

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Renfield Discusses Day of Fires

April 20, 2019 at 8:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield MP was having a Saturday night dinner with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Renfield mentioned, “So, I just found out last night that there was a fire at the al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem at the exact same time as the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.”

“I didn’t know that,” Amadeus stopped in the middle of eating his salmon.

“It received almost no news coverage in the world on that day other than in the Middle East,” Renfield explained.

“What a strange coincidence that was,” Angelique reflected, “that two major centers of worship- Notre Dame in Paris and the al-Aqsa in Jerusalem would both have fires that same day.”

“Was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s escaped basilisk responsible for the fire at the al-Aqsa mosque as well as that at Notre Dame?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, Dr. Rocher had implanted a GPS signal in the basilisk’s DNA so he’d know its location- technology which both the Chinese government and the U.S. government are currently fighting to develop so they can be the first to implement the Mark of the Beast system that no human being will be able to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast in their DNA,” Renfield mentioned, “the GPS in Basilisk Wrathsbone’s DNA was picked up by sensors in the lobster claws of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster. Apparently the basilisk was nowhere near the al-Aqsa mosque at the time the fire started like it was at the exact location of Notre Dame when that fire started.”

“So I wonder who started the fire at the al-Aqsa mosque?” Angelique pondered aloud.

. . .

The commander of the Vampiric Knights-Templar Sir Boyle of Olay was speaking to Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.

“Our efforts to burn down the al-Aqsa mosque this past Monday were sadly put to nought,” Sir Boyle of Olay commented, “the fire was finally brought under control. So we will have to wait a wee bit longer for the Temple of Solomon to be rebuilt. Even though most of Israel’s leading kabbalistic rabbis are sick of waiting.”

“It will take a while longer then for the god Baal to get his statue back up on the Temple Mount like it was when Solomon succumbed to the foreign influences of some of his 700 wives and 300 concubines and started erecting statues of his wives’ and concubines’ deities in the Temple,” Allatallahbell looked unhappy.

“We should never have brought the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow along on our mission,” Sir Boyle of Olay sighed, “He went and lost his head again. And as a result picked up bottles of coconut milk instead of cannisters of gasoline down at the Old City market. So we didn’t have enough fuel to start a real raging inferno.”

. . .

Today’s date.

Holy Saturday.

The Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau lit a cigarette.

April 20th.

Der Fuhrer’s birthday.

It had been a Holy Saturday as well – April 20th- in the year 1889- when Der Fuhrer had been born.

Now exactly 130 years later- Der Fuhrer’s birthday – was a Holy Saturday again.

Fires at Notre Dame in Paris and the al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem earlier in the week- both on the same day of Holy Week.

This was surely a sign from the Cosmos that there was something providential about this particular Holy Saturday as well.

Kohler’s cigarette went out.

He lit it again as the voice of a wolf howled on one hill.

And the voice of a jackal howled on the other.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 20th
2019.


Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal:
Waiting in time for the rebuilt Temple of Solomon

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Vatican Roulette- Gambling On There Being No Hell

October 1, 2018 at 10:25 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Vatican Roulette- Gambling On There Being No Hell

Pope Francis was having a late night supper in the Vatican with Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal, the 6 last surviving Vampiric Knights-Templar, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, his horse a zombie black horse named Bucephalus Reborn and Amourous Laetitia the personal black cat and familiar of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft).

Samhain Cardinal Salaman (a former professional stage magician who knew how the Indonesian ghost magician The Sacred Riana and the Canadian-American magician Shin Lim performed their tricks and illusions) had been invited to the dinner but declined when he heard what was on the menu.

On the menu was pork – pork that had been found either at the bottom of a lake or the bottom of a sea by Allatallahbel’s friend the mermaid 🧜‍♀️ goddess Atargatis (who was the mother of Semiramis the famous Assyrian Queen).

The sea bound pork was becoming quite indigestible.

Bucephalus Reborn the zombie black horse was quite literally throwing up cotton from eating it.

Pope Francis promptly lost his appetite for eating cotton candy at a circus anytime in the near or far foreseeable future.

It was fortunate for the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden that he only ate pumpkin 🎃 pie 🥧.

Thus avoiding the pork.

Amourous Laetitia decided to throw in the towel and become a vegetarian for the first time in her millennia old life.

She not only lost her pork dinner as a result of this meal but brought up her lunch as well.

That old buzzard of a vulture didn’t taste as good coming up as it did going down.

“I wonder where Atargatis got this pork from?” Allatallahbel threw up all over the gay Jesuit priest who served as Pope Francis’ valet.

Gospel of Mark Chapter 5:

Jesus exorcises the Gadarene demoniac asking the unclean spirit possessing the man, “What is thy name?” and the unclean spirit (or spirits) replies, “My name is Legion: for we are many.”

The demons possessing the man asked Christ to send them into some nearby swine.

Jesus granted them leave to do so.

The unclean spirits went into the swine and the herd of about 2000 ran off a cliff into the sea and were choked in the sea 🌊. (Mark Chapter 5: 1-20).

. . .

The leaders of the United States, Mexico and Canada announced that they had agreed to a renewed NAFTA trade deal to be renamed USMCA (United States Mexico Canada Agreement).

After Donald Trump had issued a victory tweet announcing the formation of USMCA, a group of Greenwich Village bathhouse employees wearing nothing but jockey briefs (which had pictures of Donald Trump at the back of the briefs) came out and did a dance routine on the streets bending over and singing a paraphrased version of an old 1970s Village People song, “Down at the USMCA…”

. . .

The newly installed Samhain Cardinal Salaman (former professional stage magician and ex-practicing Kabbalist) wasn’t sure whether he believed in the God of Catholicism or not.

But then years ago, Pope Francis had said that there was no Catholic God.

Still Samhain Cardinal Salaman decided to go down to Saint Raphael’s Chapel and pray to “whom it may concern”.

When he entered the chapel, he saw this vision greeting him:

A nun dressed in very unusual nun attire.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 1st
2018.

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Reblog of The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Rises Again

September 30, 2018 at 9:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

A vampire novel chapter I wrote a year ago today.

Dracul Van Helsing

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was visiting the village of Sleepy Hollow near Tarrytown in northern New York state.

She was searching for the grave of a former lover of hers- a Hessian military officer who fought for the Hanoverian king George III during the American Revolutionary War and who got his head shot off by a stray cannonball much to his dismay.

The officer’s name was Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden.

Allatallahbel found the grave of the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden in the forest a few miles out of town from the village of Sleepy Hollow.

A large gravestone and marker for the grave had been paid for by the government of Germany back in 1933 shortly after a man named Adolf Hitler had been appointed Chancellor of Germany.

The reason for building a gravestone marker for the long dead headless Hessian officer were known only to Allatallahbel and…

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Friday The 13th: 13th October

October 13, 2017 at 2:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Friday the 13th: 13th October

Cardinal JM approached Pope Francis with the shocking news.

An ancient Canaanite Vampiress Priestess of Baal, six Vampiric Knights-Templar, a Headless Horseman with a Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin head riding a zombie black horse who kept singing a silly song from an early 1960s American TV comedy Mr. Ed the Talking Horse and a giant black cat who was wearing a hockey goalie 🥅 mask that she couldn’t seem to get off her head had taken over the Vatican without a shot being fired.

“What do they want?” Pope Francis asked wearily.

“They want to be put in charge of training the papal Swiss Guards,” Cardinal JM replied.

“Well, who am I to judge?” Pope Francis took out a nail file and started to file his fingernails.

Outside in Saint Peter’s Square, a lone figure stood out in the middle of the square and said while looking up at the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, “Jacques de Molay, thou art avenged.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 13th
2017.

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Allatallahbel, The Vampiric Knights-Templar and The Headless Horseman

October 12, 2017 at 4:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Allatallahbel, The Vampiric Knights-Templar and The Headless Horseman

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was wearing a glittering silvery white evening dress which had since turned blood red with the number of people she had been sacrificing on the altar.

The Vampiric Knights-Templar were practicing swordplay in anticipation of tomorrow’s mission.

The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Hessian military officer was shaving the face of his Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin head using whipping cream and a straight razor.

“Ow, I cut myself,” the Headless Horseman started to cry 😭 with the tears putting out the candle inside his Jack O’ Lantern.

“You should use an electric razor,” one of the Vampiric Knights-Templar suggested in the middle of his swordplay.

The Headless Horseman’s zombie black horse named Bucephalus Reborn was busy catching up on his equine history since he had died over two centuries previously.

He was reading about Mr. Ed The Talking Horse a 1960s television character and decided to impersonate him.

Bucephalus Reborn wore a silly hillbilly hat on his head (that his ears stuck through) and sang,

“Mr. Ed the Talking Horse,
of course, of course, of course…”

He was then sprayed with blood as Allatallahbel’s latest victim had a particularly enthusiastically pumping jugular vein.

Meanwhile Amourous Laetitia the personal black cat and familiar of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) was trying desperately to get the Friday the 13th Jason the serial killer goalie hockey mask off her head.

She was planning to wear it tomorrow for the mission.

So she thought she’d try it on.

And now.

She couldn’t get it off.

Tomorrow.

Friday the 13th.

13th October.

The Vampiric Knights-Templar would enact their revenge.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 12th
2017.

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The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Rises Again

September 30, 2017 at 3:15 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was visiting the village of Sleepy Hollow near Tarrytown in northern New York state.

She was searching for the grave of a former lover of hers- a Hessian military officer who fought for the Hanoverian king George III during the American Revolutionary War and who got his head shot off by a stray cannonball much to his dismay.

The officer’s name was Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden.

Allatallahbel found the grave of the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden in the forest a few miles out of town from the village of Sleepy Hollow.

A large gravestone and marker for the grave had been paid for by the government of Germany back in 1933 shortly after a man named Adolf Hitler had been appointed Chancellor of Germany.

The reason for building a gravestone marker for the long dead headless Hessian officer were known only to Allatallahbel and Adolf.

After standing beside the gravestone marker and reflecting for a while, Allatallahbel then stood back and chanted a spell that was given her by the ancient Egyptian god Thoth.

Thoth had recently returned to this particular spatial/temporal dimension.

On the day of the full lunar eclipse across the U.S.- August 21st 2017- in fact.

After chanting the spell, she waited.

The headless Hessian officer then arose from the grave along with his horse (for he had been buried with his horse).

Allatallahbel then gave the Headless Horseman his instructions.

The Horseman saluted (even though he had no head to salute on) and rode off.

He stopped off in front of a store in Tarrytown and broke the store’s front window and helped himself to a carved Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin which he immediately put on top of his shoulders.

He then rode all the way to downtown Manhattan.

Many New York City policemen tried to stop the Headless Horseman but he beheaded them with his regimental sword.

The policemen’s beheadings were met with cheers by supporters of the Black Lives Matter movement.

The Headless Horseman passed a television set in a department store window where Pope Francis was doing a stand-up comedy routine in which he claimed the apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia was a Thomist document.

The Headless Horseman could be heard cackling through his carved Jack O’ Lantern teeth.

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden then rode down to the New York City docks where he and his horse boarded a ship bound for Europe.

He hoped the ship would arrive in Europe before Halloween.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 30th
2017.

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