Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Irish Leprechauns Slain By Serpent

May 27, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Irish Leprechauns Slain By Serpent

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol had arranged to meet British MP Renfield R. Renfield at London’s Highgate Cemetery the burial place of Karl Marx.

Whitstable had just come into possession of a shocking video shot by Alec O’ Connaught (the man they called the Irish Alex Jones) within the past 24 hours.

For his brave and gallant efforts in shooting the shocking video, Alec O’ Connaught found himself butchered and cut into tiny pieces by the Irish goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught and daughter of a High King of Ireland.

And as such, Alec O’ Connaught would no longer be broadcasting live from the basement of the Guinness brewery in Dublin on a program he called Infodraughtwars.

Instead he might be broadcasting dead from Purgatory in the realm of Hades provided that classical Greco-Roman god of the Underworld gave him permission.

Rather foolishly on his part, O’ Connaught gave the video directly to Whitstable rather than broadcasting it live on his Infodraughtwars program where it would have most likely enjoyed the greatest most viewed and most watched occultic conspiracy theory videos status in YouTube history.

But O’ Connaught decided to hand the video to Whitstable for viewing first and broadcast it later.

O’ Connaught had his throat slashed later that early morning in the Guinness brewery basement by the goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught.

His last words before dying were “Glug! Glug! Glug!” as he had his mouth attached to one of the kegs of Guinness draught in a ritual he always performed before going live on the air.

Whitstable when he saw the video in the Interpol office in London quite literally shit his pants when he saw it.

A week earlier he had run into Renfield buying 1500 grams of cheese 🧀 in the dairy 🥛 section of the neighbourhood grocery store and overheard Renfield complaining to the cashier about a recent bout of irregularity he had been having.

Whitstable figured that this video would help cure him of that problem.

Renfield agreed to view the video but didn’t want to view it in his office.

The British MP had recently heard that they were going to do a midnight Sunday evening showing of the 1942 classic Hollywood film Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman at an outdoor screen in London’s Highgate Cemetery and Renfield wanted to get there early to get a good picnic spot for his blanket.

Renfield had never seen Casablanca before and the film had come highly recommended to him by his friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

So while Renfield found a good spot and set up his picnic basket (he had the food locked 🔒 away in a refrigerator under combination lock to keep it away from his friend and housemate Amadeus Emanon), Whitstable set down his projector 📽 and roll of film and began running it on the Cemetery outdoor screen while others were taking their seats on their respective picnic blankets.

The grisly video (shot by the late Alec O’ Connaught) showed the golden cobra serpent Maitreya the new High King of Ireland (recently crowned High King of Ireland 🇮🇪 on the Hill of Tara this past Saint Patrick’s Day March 17th) standing alongside his wife Cleopatra (the former Queen of Egypt resurrected from the dead by Maitreya earlier this year was Maitreya’s consort and the new High Queen of Ireland).

Dressed in gothic attire, the new High Queen of Ireland 🇮🇪 announced from the steps of a Dublin apartment building that the leprechauns unlike the majority of the Irish people had refused to recognize her consort the serpent Maitreya as the new High King of Ireland and now must pay the price.

Renfield on seeing Queen Cleopatra (dressed in gothic attire) immediately lifted his right hand and started singing his own paraphrased version of the Kylie Minogue song The Loco-Motion with accompanying gestures and movements (made popular by members of the Perilous Physicists’ Society).

Renfield ended up shooting a London policeman who wanted to arrest the MP for performing an act of public indecency.

Meanwhile on the screen, the Whitstable projector 📽 showed the Alec O’ Connaught film of Maitreya the serpent (who had grown a pair of reptilian arms and reptilian legs) with a golden sword and the Irish goddess Maeve the former Queen of Connaught with a silver sword going and slaughtering all the leprechauns of Ireland 🇮🇪.

The blood of the leprechauns soon reached as high as the top of the Lia Fail (Stone of Destiny) on the County Meath landmark of the Hill of Tara.

Billionaire investor George Soros (who was in Ireland having backed the winning side in a recent Irish referendum) broke into tears on the nearby hill of Rath Maeve saying, “Why didn’t you ask them where they had buried their pots of gold before killing them?”.

Meanwhile Renfield’s irregularity came to an abrupt end upon viewing the slaughter of the leprechauns in the O’ Connaught film.

As did the irregularity of all other moviegoers sitting upon their picnic blankets.

“Bloody Hell,” cried the cemetery caretaker (much to the shock of a nearby English Roman Catholic priest recently personally ordained by Pope Francis), “this is going to be one Hell of a mess to clean up tomorrow morning.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 27th
2018.

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