Red October

October 1, 2021 at 11:03 pm (Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.

“I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.

“All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.

Welles put his finger down.

“Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”

Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.

“Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.

He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.

This magic lantern could be used for time travel.

As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.

“Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”

“So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.

“The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”

“So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”

“Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.

“Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.

“That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”

“I see,” Welles sipped his wine.

“October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”

“Your dad?” Welles blinked.

“He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”

“I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.

“One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.

“Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.

“No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.

“In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 1st
2021.

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Hera At Versailles

January 26, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


The Greek goddess Hera at the Palace of Versailles during the reign of the Sun King

“So,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, “I hear you’re able to travel back in time using the Pantages-Houdini-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern?”.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Van Helsing answered.

In his aquarium in the background, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster held up a sign that read CONFIRMED.

“So,” Marmalade read the sign, “When I fell into a time warp when I was Chief Scientist and Head Alchemist To The Court of Louis Quatorze and wound up here in the decade of the 2020s, I left an important alchemical formula on my desk in my laboratory at the Palace of Versailles. I was wondering if you could go back in time and get it for me?”.

“Why can’t you go back in time and get it yourself?” Van Helsing inquired.

“Because the Hindu god Shiva informed me while I was standing in line once at an Indian buffet restaurant in London last year that if I ever engaged in time travel again, I’d disintegrate into a pod of peas hanging from a lotus flower,” Dr. Marmalade Montague replied.

“One wouldn’t want that unless one were a vegan vegetarian Transhumanist,” Van Helsing agreed.

“I don’t know if it was because I helped myself to the last 2 dozen pieces of butter chicken from a buffet tray before the chef brought some more as I was standing in line in front of Shiva or if Shiva really meant it,” Marmalade reflected.

“Well, as J. Robert Oppenheimer might say while putting on a trojan, it’s best to be on the safe side,” Van Helsing acknowledged.

And so Van Helsing went back in time to the Palace of Versailles during the reign of Louis XIV the Sun King.

He found the laboratory but as he entered the room a cat had knocked a piece of paper off the table which seemed to have elaborate drawings and formulae on it.

The paper was then eaten by a poodle.

“I hope that wasn’t the formula for turning lead into gold,” Van Helsing mused aloud.

He then found his way to the main dining room of Versailles where he encountered the Greek goddess Hera.

The Greek goddess Hera and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had made out on a couple of occasions.

Unbeknownst to the Greek god Zeus of course.

Otherwise Van Helsing might have disintegrated into ash as a result of having an Olympian thunder bolt thrown at him.

“Dracul,” Hera smiled at him.

“You must have time traveled from the 21st Century as well,” Van Helsing made a Holmes Sherlockian deduction, “because I never knew you during the Reign of the Sun King Louis Quatorze.”

“I did,” Hera nodded, “I time traveled from January 2021.”

“Same here,” Van Helsing stated.

“Did you know that a year ago Zeus asked Hades to release the spirit of Alexander the Great from the Underworld?” Hera inquired.

“It seems to me I heard something to that effect from the ghost of Orson Welles,” Van Helsing reflected.

“And now this January he’s asked Hades to release the spirit of the Syrian Greek King Antiochus Epiphanes (whose official title was King Antiochus IV ) from the Underworld,” Hera noted.

“Maybe Zeus is planning a major Abomination of Desolation with Pope Francis and they want Antiochus Epiphanes’ input into the matter,” Van Helsing said as a group of waiters walked by carrying trays loaded with roast pork.

“I’m so horny and frustrated by Zeus constantly ignoring me,” Hera sighed.

“Maybe I could help you with that,” Van Helsing took off his formal dinner jacket.

Soon Hera and Van Helsing were making out on top of the Royal Banquet table.

“Ah, I see they’re still setting up in here,” Louis XIV remarked to one of his mistresses as he poked his head in through the dining hall door, “Perhaps you’d like to come to my bedroom and I’ll show you my ceiling etchings of Zeus and Leto.”

At that moment the ghost of Orson Welles was bicyling backwards through time in the CERN Large Hadron Collidor Time Tunnel.

As he bicycled backwards in time through the time tunnel, the voice of Engelbert Humperdinck could be heard singing Les Bicyclettes de Belsize.

Welles’ ghost was eating a large spectral bagel as he cycled backwards through time.

Welles hoped that no one would mistake him for Hunter Biden son of Joe Biden as he was returning from Mass in the Presidential motorcade when he ordered the motorcade stopped so he could buy a bagel as he had come down with the munchies after having smoked a pipe of crack cocaine in the confessional booth.

Welles’ ghost arrived just in time to see Dracul and Hera making out on the Royal Banquet table.

“Woe is me,” Welles remarked as he drove his bicyle through the dining room window and on to the Versailles palace grounds.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 26th
2021.

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Semiramis and Dracul, An ET Gray and Justin Trudeau

February 27, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon plays an Adolf Hitler speech on the radio

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had once again gone back in time to February 1944 a few months before the D-Day invasion of Normandy in pursuit of the time travelling Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire officer Franz Kohler.

He was once again operating in an Orson Welles black and white film space-time dimension as he time travelled using the Houdini-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern prototype film projector.

Tonight he found himself in a London England hotel room on the date of February 27th 1944 a few months before the D-Day invasion of Normandy.

The room was registered to Semiramis the Queen of Babylon.

As Semiramis sat there looking incredibly sexy in a tight blouse and tight skirt, she was playing on the radio a speech Adolf Hitler was delivering to a Let’s Make Germany Great Again rally in Berlin:

Hitler was telling the German people what to do in the event of an allied invasion of Nazi occupied Europe.

Now Dracul Van Helsing’s German was a little rusty (much like a harp playing talking rooster character who appeared on a Canadian children’s TV show The Friendly Giant that he watched as a kid) but he was pretty sure Der Fuhrer was saying 😈,

“Ve shall fight in France, ve shall fight on the seas and the oceans, ve shall fight on the beaches, ve shall fight on the landing grounds, ve shall fight in the fields and in the streets, ve shall fight in the hills, ve shall never surrender…”

“So Van Helsing,” Semiramis smiled at him, “it appears Der Fuhrer is a plagiarist among his many other charming attributes.”

“That appears to be the case,” Van Helsing agreed.

Before the evening was over, Semiramis and Dracul Van Helsing were engaged in some kinky tantric sex.

While in the hotel room next door, Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau was phoning down to room service complaining that the sausages and sauerkraut he was getting in England didn’t taste as good as what he got over in Germany.

. . .

The ET gray Gali-Gula from the planet Nibiru (who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula) sat in a chair drowning his sorrows in a bottle of beer:

He wondered if his severe drinking problem was starting to affect his liver as he was starting to look more yellow than gray these days.

The source of all his troubles was that his friend Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wasn’t able to see him (Gali-Gula) to receive advice.

And the result of his not being able to give Justin advice was causing the Canadian Prime Minister to slide into a political quagmire from which he might not be able to remove himself (not even if Donald Trump threw him a lifeline made up of New York City deli baloney sausages).

And of course the reason Justin was no longer able to see the little ET gray was because he was no longer inhaling pot.

When Justin had his genetically created marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever still available to him in his greenhouse, he was able to go into the greenhouse and inhale the desert cactus plant’s pot exhale and then truthfully told the news media that he didn’t personally smoke pot.

However as a result of the Canadian government arresting Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport at the behest of the U.S. government, the Chinese government in an act of revenge had sent vampiress Mei-ling Manchu to kidnap Justin’s prickly pot smoking little buddy.

The plant was now being held in a mystical pot smoking 1960s hippy commune that had vanished off the face of the Earth back in July 1969 and only appeared again to human eyes once every 7 years.

As a result of all this, Justin was not able to get wise advice from Gali-Gula since he was unable to see him.

Having once been a Roman Emperor who was slain by his own Praetorian Guard, the Imperial Roman spirit possessed ET gray was a wealth of wisdom on what not to do when governing and ruling.

And now Justin was caught up in the SNC-Lavalin scandal whereby he was accused of trying to persuade his then Minister of Justice and Attorney-General of Canada Jody Wilson-Raybould last year to drop criminal prosecution charges against the Quebec-based construction company SNC-Lavalin on charges of trying to bribe the then Libyan government of Col. Muammar Qaddafi (prior to his overthrow by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton who now condemn Russia for interfering in U.S. internal politics) a decade ago.

SNC-Lavalin is coincidentally one of the biggest financial donors to the Federal Liberal Party of Canada of which Justin Trudeau is the leader.

Jody Wilson-Raybould did not assent to Justin’s pressure and the court case went ahead.

Last month however Justin had demoted Jody Wilson-Raybould to a lesser cabinet position.

Wilson-Raybould eventually resigned from cabinet and today she testified before a Canadian House of Commons committee on the pressure she faced from the Prime Minister’s office.

Justin (after watching hours of video of Donald Trump telling real whoppers to the media and voters) held a press conference of his own to answer Jody Wilson-Raybould’s charges.

Gali-Gula sat at the back of the press corps and wept.

Visual animation commentary for BBC News of the event was provided by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster of Set Enterprises who drew a cartoon with his lobster claws of Justin Trudeau throwing Jody Wilson-Raybould under a bus.

This did not bode well for Justin’s image as a self-proclaimed feminist and as a self-proclaimed defender of indigenous aboriginal rights.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 27th
2019.

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