Renfield Calls On The UK To Leave NATO

November 9, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • A beautiful woman listens to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night ₱odcast for Wednesday November 9th 2O22.
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  • Beautiful women were listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s ₱odcast tonight.
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  • While all of the uglos were out celebrating the Neo-Bolshevik Communists’ electoral fraud victory in yesterday’s U.S. midterm elections (that is those who weren’t being beheaded by that cham₱ion of aesthetics and beauty everywhere ₱an Goatee).
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  • This was what Renfield had to say about yesterday’s midterm elections in the U.S.:
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  • “Sister Lucia of Fatima said in a 1992 interview that the United States of America would fall under the control of a Communist government. And this was 3 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall. And one year after the dissolution of the USSR. A Calgary based geo₱olitical analyst remembered thinking at the time, how is that ₱ossible? But the Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democratic ₱arty did it by stealing the 2O2O U.S. ₱residential Election and now stealing the U.S. midterms in 2O22. Vladimir ₱utin, you who fancy yourself a revived Czar ₱eter the Great, instead of worrying about Ukraine, do the world a favour and nuke America now. Before Communism has the chance to s₱read around the world again.”
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  • Joe Biden had a bowel movement when he heard Renfield suggesting the Oval Office of the West Wing of the White House as the first target. Nancy ₱elosi had a bowel movement when she heard Renfield suggest the S₱eakers’ Office in the U.S. House of Re₱resentatives as the 2nd target. ₱ersons in the Governor’s Offices in California, Michigan and New York, offices in the Neo-Bolshevik Communist New York Times, The Neo-Bolshevik Communist Washington ₱ost and the Neo-Bolshevik Communist CNN likewise had bowel movements when Renfield suggested those ₱laces as nuclear targets. George Soros, Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci likewise had bowel movements when Renfield suggested their homes as nuclear targets. As did the editor of that Communist rag and ₱iece of toilet ₱a₱er known as the Atlantic Monthly.
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  • And s₱eaking of the Atlantic Monthly, Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster had a vision of Renfield ₱ublicly hanging Atlantic Monthly writer and Brown University ₱rofessor Emily Oster by the neck until dead.
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  • After the airheaded hag had been hung by Renfield until she was dead, Renfield then held u₱ a sign saying THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF THE IDEA OF ₱LANDEMIC AMNESTY.
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  • Renfield then said, “The U.S. now has a choice. Will a Gen. Francisco Franco arise to battle the Communists like ha₱₱ened in S₱ain in the 193Os? Or will su₱₱orters of democracy roll over and ₱lay dead like they did at the hands of the Communists in Czechoslovakia in 1948?”.
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  • The British Member of ₱arliament (who was advised by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill) then went on, “The Bolshevik October Revolution of 1917 was labelled Red October because it fell on October 25th on the old Julian Calendar which Russia was using at the time. Today Russia uses the Gregorian Calendar and dates the Revolution to November 7th 1917. It’s interesting that the old Bolshevik Revolution in Russia fell on November 7th. And the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Revolution ha₱₱ened in the USA on November 8th. Of the year 2O22. The two Bolshevik Communist Revolutions se₱arated by 1O5 years and a day. Today is November 9th the 33rd Freemasonic degree anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down in 1989. And now senile old fool Joe Biden at the hands of his Neo-Stalinist ₱u₱₱etmasters will start erecting an invisible gigantic Neo-Berlin Wall around the ₱eo₱les of the entire ₱lanet in the name of ₱achamama and Climate Change.”
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  • . . .
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  • And s₱eaking of ₱achamama and Climate Change, the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio (who called himself Francis) and was obssessed with both (having forgotten both Christ and the Holy Trinity), was lying in his bed.
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  • In Bahrain, Francis had shown himself to be an adherent of the ancient Marcionite heresy by basically coming out and saying that the god of the Old Testament (who was definitely the god of the Warrior King David) was not the Ultimate God above all gods.
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  • Yaldabaoth the Irish le₱rechaun sat at the end of Francis’ bed looking u₱ at the heretical, a₱ostate and dimwitted Commie Jesuit ₱ontiff.
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  • “Mommy says,” Yaldbaoth was referring to his mother So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian Gnostic goddess of wisdom, “that you think that I am the god of the Old Testament.
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  • Francis lay there with such an ex₱ression of intense stu₱idity on his face that, if he had had a beard, one could have easily mistaken him for either one of Global News Canada’s Communist corres₱ondents in the U.S. Jackson ₱roskow or Reggie Cecchini.
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  • Yaldabaoth said onto Francis, “I don’t know the god of the Old Testament. I’ve never been friends with the god of the Old Testament. But I’m definitely no god of the Old Testament.”
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  • And u₱on Yaldabaoth saying that, the 6 foot 8 tall invisible Welsh ₱ooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger threw a “when the moon hits your eye like a big ₱izza ₱ie, that’s amore” ₱izza ₱ie in Francis’ face.
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  • In Buckingham ₱alace, King Charles III had s₱ent 8 hours looking for a ₱en that worked so he could sign official government documents. When he finally found one, he turned on BBC News.
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  • The lead story was that British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield had stood u₱ in the United Kingdom House of Commons today and called on the UK to leave NATO in the wake of the 2O22 U.S. Midterm elections.
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  • Said Renfield, “It’s time for the United Kingdom to leave NATO now rather than belong to an organization led by a Communist su₱er₱ower and an enemy of freedom.”
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  • “What the Hell? !” Charles exclaimed.
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  • At that moment the vam₱ire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the one time commander of the Soviet Red Army) the new commander of NATO forces a₱₱eared in front of Charles.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Wednesday November 9th 2O22.

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  • Atargatis In Moscow

    October 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, painting, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis in the Kremlin

    Russian President Vladimir Putin had stopped off in a Kremlin tea shop to watch the broadcast of the Russian state controlled television news network.

    Said news announcer Dmitri Bullshitovich, “In London, England today two members of the environmentalist group Just Stop Oil threw tomato soup at Vincent Van Gogh’s famous 1888 painting Sunflowers at the National Gallery in London.
    The contents of two tins of Heinz tomato soup were thrown at the painting.
    The ghost of Andy Warhol was overheard to say, “Thank God no cans of Campbell’s Tomato Soup were used.”
    The two Just Stop Oil climate change protestors’ 15 minutes of fame came to a sudden and abrupt end when British MP Renfield R. Renfield used the headsman’s axe from the 1933 Alexander Korda directed Charles Laughton starring film The Private Life of Henry VIII to chop off one of each of the two airheaded protestors’ hands (which they had foolishly glued to the wall underneath the painting).
    Athough the Metropolitan London Police Force in a press release statement rather euphemistically described the Renfield procedure as “Specialist officers have now unglued them…”
    As the protestors were led away in one handcuff each, a holographic image of American singer-songwriter Don McLean appeared and started singing, “I could have told you, Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you…”
    As an organ grinder and his monkey were gunned down and killed outside the National Gallery as yet another example of London’s rising crime rate, the holographic image of Don McLean then appeared outside and began singing “The day the music died…”
    Meanwhile all across England, members of Just Stop Oil were apparently visited by an invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit (seen by members who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers) and had an American cream pie laced with tomato soup thrown in their face.
    After the cream pie was thrown, the ghost of Vincent Van Gogh then appeared and started singing, “I have no ear for music…”

    Russian President Vladimir Putin continued walking down the hall, “I have the feeling that that particular Russian state television news story was true.”

    Indeed it was for Putin’s supernatural spirit advisor the demon Moloch (who was appearing to Putin in the guise of Saint Michael the Archangel) had fled upon hearing the news story for he couldn’t stand listening to the truth.

    When Putin entered his office, he was surprised to see the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis sitting there.

    Putin recognized it was Atargatis from an unknown (to the world) Vincent Van Gogh portrait painting of Atargatis that the Kremlin owned.

    The painting had been purchased from Van Gogh by a Saint Petersburg art dealer just before the artist died in 1890 and had been given by the art dealer to Czar Alexander III that same year of 1890.

    “What does Atargatis the mother of Semiramis the 1st queen of Babylon want with me?” Putin asked.

    “I want you to stop invading Ukraine, turn around and invade the State of Israel instead,” Atargatis answered.

    Putin spit the tea he had just sipped out of his mouth.

    The tea went flying across the room and hit the ghost of Orson Welles in his beard.

    It was a good thing Welles was a ghost.

    Otherwise he’d have tea stains in his beard.

    “And what are you doing here?” Putin asked Welles’ ghost.

    “I’ve come to make you an offer from Renfield R. Renfield that you can’t refuse,” Welles pulled out a spectral violin case.

    Atargatis? Or Welles?

    Whose offer should he Putin accept?

    “You’ll be the new villain of Hannukah if you invade Israel,” Welles pointed out.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday October 14th
    2022.

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    Harvey Tallbanger, Antichrist Apostle Mario Draghi, Inanna and Ishtar

    March 12, 2021 at 11:10 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi announced that Italy would be under a total lockdown over the Easter weekend for the 2nd year in a row.

    Before going to address a virtual press conference, Draghi unbeknownst to himself, was injected with Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Truth Serum by Harvey Tallbanger (the invisible to mortals) 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

    Harvey was a Welsh pooka a mischievous supernatural creature from Welsh and Celtic folklore.

    During the press conference, Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi was asked why he decided that Easter should be cancelled for the 2nd year in a row in Italy.

    “Because I’m an Apostle of the Antichrist,” Draghi (well under the influence of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Truth Serum) replied.

    As he answered, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared in red and black felt ink letters on his forehead.

    Draghi continued, “If we can stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said in Churches all over the world, this will definitely lay the foundation for the Antichrist’s imminent appearance on the world stage. Because unbeknownst to many of you, many world leaders and I worship the Antichrist in private and secret. We’ve been able to use the Wuhan CCP Virus pandemic to close Churches and stop the Sacrifice of the Mass all over the world. And it’s especially effective when you’re able to stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said at Christmas and Easter.””

    Joe Biden was watching the Mario Draghi press conference on his TV set in the Oval Office.

    He asked his marijuana pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia sitting atop his Oval Office desk, “Am I one of those world leaders who secretly worship the Antichrist?”.

    Because he had apparently forgotten.

    “Yes,” Sweet Dementia spelled out the word in the air through her pot exhalation smoke.

    “Wow, that really blows my mind,” Beijing Joe remarked, “No wonder I get along so well with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. To say nothing of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.”

    Meanwhile in the Vatican, the Sumerian goddess Inanna and her identical twin sister the Akkadian/Assyrian/Babylonian goddess Ishtar were watching the Mario Draghi press conference on the TV set in Pope Francis’ study.

    They had flown to Rome with Pope Francis on his plane ride back from Iraq.

    “We must stop Mario Draghi from talking,” Inanna remarked to Ishtar, “He’s blabbing too much.”

    They flew (like bats out of Hell) to the site of Mario Draghi’s press conference where they knocked him out.

    As Draghi lay there unconscious on the floor, he received a spaghetti and meatball laced cream pie in the face – courtesy of Harvey Tallbanger.

    Inanna or Ishtar? : Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday March 12th
    2021.

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    Hera At The French Presidential Palace

    July 12, 2019 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Hera At The French Presidential Palace 

    The Greek goddess Hera went and sat in a corner of the grand ballroom in the French Presidential Palace where her image was caught by a photographer who loved the beauty of old time black and white photography.

    Hera was hoping to get away from French President Emmanuel Macron who seemed to be getting somewhat amorous with her.

    He kept asking questions about her age and saying things like, “Surely as a Greek Olympian goddess, you’re far older than I am.”

    She went to this corner of the grand ballroom far away from Macron’s lecherous looks.

    The French President was currently unveiling an oil painting sent to him as a farewell present from British Prime Minister Theresa May who would be formally stepping down as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in another couple of weeks.

    The painting had been purchased at and delivered by the world famous Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

    Macron got quite excited when he saw the name of the painting on the box in which it came- Portrait of A Cougar.

    The whole ballroom could see the immense disappointment on the French President’s face when the painting was unveiled and it turned out to be a portrait of a puma mountain lion wildcat in the Canadian Rockies.

    Hera had to laugh.

    The Olympian goddess was soon approached by Set Enterprises’ spy and secret agent the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

    Being a goddess, she could see the invisible bunny rabbit (whereas most mortals couldn’t unless they had been drinking Harvey Wallbanger cocktails or if Harvey had turned his 1960s ViewMaster on).

    “The goddess Isis informs me that you’re looking for Dracul Van Helsing,” Tallbanger bowed to the Olympic beauty.

    Indeed Hera was.

    She had just recently found out that her husband Zeus had flown several trips on Jeremy Epstein’s Lolita Express plane.

    The goddess was so angered that she decided to turn to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for comfort.

    Tallbanger told the goddess that Dracul Van Helsing was waiting for her in a large private booth in a quiet cafe along the Champs-Élysées.

    Hera thanked the tall bunny rabbit secret agent, stood up and exited the French Presidential Palace.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher 
    Friday July 12th 
    2019.

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    Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

    July 10, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

    After a successful month of intelligence gathering for the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set this past June, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger was taking some much needed r and r.

    He decided to go to Paris the City of Lights for a few days as he was quite fond of the city.

    Tonight he was having dinner atop the Eiffel Tower in a very lovely restaurant located there.

    He was enjoying a glass of champagne when he was suddenly spotted by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis:

    Isis with drink and iPhone and elegant watch in hand approached the tall bunny rabbit who was clearly visible on this lovely and enchanting Parisienne evening having turned his Dr. Cadbury Rocher prototype ViewMaster on (which made him visible).

    “So you’re Harvey Tallbanger the world’s most famous bunny rabbit secret agent?” Isis sat across from him.

    “I am,” Tallbanger bowed, “and you are?”.

    “I am the Vampiress Isis,” the beautiful vampiress answered, “your boss Set’s rival, arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law.”

    “Yes, I heard my boss had a falling out with your side of the family,” Tallbanger sipped his champagne, “I hear you and his brother (your husband) Osiris and his nephew (your son) Horus have it in for him.”

    “And with justifiable reasons,” Isis flashed her vampiric incisors.

    “What big teeth you have,” Harvey recalled lines from his favourite fairy tale, “I regrettably do not have a family to fight with as I was genetically created in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lab at Set Enterprises. It was seeing the 1950 Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey that gave Dr. Rocher the idea.”

    “Why don’t you come and work for me?” Isis touched his rabbit’s foot for luck.

    “Well I am under contract to Set for another 3 years,” Tallbanger noted, “and I don’t become a free agent spy until then.”

    “It was rather unfair for Set to bring you out of the blue like that at last year’s secret agent and spy draft in Las Vegas,” Isis seethed, “The only reason he got first round draft pick was because of some deal he made years ago in which he traded Stormy Daniels to the Russians for last year’s first round draft pick.”

    “It was my understanding that Vladimir Putin was able to achieve quite a great deal of success with that deal,” Tallbanger helped himself to some Russian caviar.

    “Putin is a master chess player,” Isis finished her drink and waved to the waiter for another.

    “I’ve been told you’re a master chess player as well,” Tallbanger ordered a tequila sunrise.

    “Thank you,” Isis smiled at him, “and I intend to make use of a knight.”

    “A lovely night for it,” Tallbanger commented.

    Isis raised her glass in toast.

    -A vampire novel chapter 
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday July 10th
    2019.

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    Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

    July 6, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

    Miranda Singh sat in Collingwood Hills Park a park not far from the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

    Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was conducting scientific experiments in the park to see if he could bring about early autumn colours on the trees in early summer.

    He seemed to be succeeding judging from some of the colours on the leaves of the trees behind where Miss Singh sat.

    Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in a small wading pool in the park typing on his waterproof iPad with his lobster claws and mixing tracks from different seasons from Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons on his GarageBand app.

    And a couple of baroque music enthusiasts sitting on a nearby park bench said he was succeeding.

    Michelangelo looked in Miss Singh’s direction.

    Small children left the wading pool in droves when the GarageBand app on the lobster’s iPad exploded.

    The iPad was playing Beethoven’s Song of Joy as Amadeus Emanon rescued the crustacean and his tablet.

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was not at the Set Enterprises family picnic on this day as he was currently attending the christening ceremony for Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor at Windsor Castle.

    Meanwhile Harvey Tallbanger the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh Pooka bunny rabbit walked around the picnic carrying his favourite drink a Tequila Sunrise.

    He sat across from Miranda Singh and the pair discussed their respective secret agent and spying missions they had conducted for Set Enterprises last month.

    Meanwhile under a nearby tree, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was neither a current employee nor a former employee of Set Enterprises) awoke with a huge hangover from last night’s carousing and revelry that he had engaged in in the nearby West London theatre district.

    Feeling hungry, he helped himself to a picnic basket full of ham and cheese sandwiches.

    “Hey, what happened to all the ham and cheese sandwiches?” Amadeus cried out a few minutes later.

    Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster lay down at Miranda Singh’s feet.

    The European Union anthem was being played with great enthusiasm on Michelangleo’s iPad GarageBand app to the great disappointment of BREXIT Party leader Nigel Farage who was walking nearby.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Saturday July 6th
    2019.

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    Harvey Tallbanger and The Ex-Empress Theodora

    July 1, 2019 at 11:09 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Harvey Tallbanger and The Ex-Empress Theodora

    “Tell me where that bunny rabbit is!” Theodora demanded of the CSIS operative.

    After leaving the G-20 Summit in Osaka Japan, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger decided to return to the United Kingdom by flying east rather than west.

    He decided he’d visit Canada on the way back to London and stop off in Ottawa to attend Canada Day celebrations in the nation’s capital.

    While walking around downtown Ottawa, he decided to visit a lounge in Ottawa’s Chateau Laurier Hotel to have a drink.

    He walked up to the bar and pushed the ON button on his ViewMaster so the bartender could see him.

    After ordering a Tequila Sunrise, he picked up the drink when it was made and went over and sat in a quiet booth where he pushed the OFF button on his ViewMaster so he was once again invisible.

    Sitting up at the bar was a secret agent for CSIS (the Canadian Security Intelligence Service).

    The man’s name was Bert Yorkshire and he had just been assigned the task of flying to the People’s Republic of China to try and rescue Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant who was being held hostage by Chinese authorities in exchange for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canadian custody.

    After being assigned such a ridiculous assignment, Yorkshire came to this lounge in the Chateau Laurier and had been having half a dozen Harvey Wallbangers to drown his sorrows.

    The end result of having that drink was he saw Harvey Tallbanger sitting in the booth by himself.
    Yorkshire went over to talk to the exceptionally tall bunny rabbit.

    Harvey and the CSIS operative chatted for a while.

    Harvey gave him the room number of the hotel he was staying in and then left the lounge to partake in Canada Day celebrations.

    It happened by chance that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been Byzantine Empress and the wife of Emperor Justinian I) was visiting Ottawa.

    She had heard from the Greek Embassy in Ottawa that Harvey Tallbanger the tall invisible bunny rabbit secret agent from the United Kingdom was in town.

    She was anxious to meet the dashing invisible bunny.

    She walked around Ottawa, stopped to listen to someone singing an old Frank Sinatra song and then headed in the direction of the Chateau Laurier Hotel.

    She went to the lounge where she heard the bartender say that a customer had been talking to an invisible bunny rabbit in the lounge.

    She asked the bartender if she knew the man and the bartender replied that he had charged his tab to his room in the Chateau Laurier.

    In exchange for being able to look down the low-cut front of her dress and getting a nice look at her magnificent cleavage, the bartender gave her Bert Yorkshire’s room number.

    Theodora later accosted Bert Yorkshire in his hotel room demanding, “Tell me where that bunny rabbit is!”.

    Will Bert Yorkshire revealing Harvey Tallbanger’s whereabouts to Theodora be like opening up Pandora’s box on the deck of the ship Flying Dutchman?

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Monday July 1st
    2019.

    Permalink 8 Comments

    Renfield Attends London Club Luncheon For U.S. Ambassador

    June 14, 2019 at 11:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sports, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Renfield Attends London Club Luncheon For U.S. Ambassador

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was attending a luncheon at an exclusive London club where the U.S. Ambassador to the United Kingdom would be speaking.

    Renfield wouldn’t be sitting at the head table but would be sitting at the table directly in front of the podium where the Ambassador would be speaking.

    The Ambassador began his speech and told those assembled in the hall about how Donald Trump was making America great again.

    As the Ambassador talked, Renfield took off his jacket showing off the t-shirt that he was wearing that said TORONTO RAPTORS.

    Last night the Toronto Raptors had become the first Canadian basketball team and the first non-American basketball team in history to win the NBA Championships.

    The sight of Renfield wearing a Toronto Raptors t-shirt caused the U.S. Ambassador to stumble in his speech about Donald Trump making America great again.

    . . .

    In the streets of Toronto last night, Canadian Global News reporter Mark Carcasole caught up with a Toronto Raptors fan that social media platforms have now dubbed Plant Guy.

    The Plant Guy who had made his way through downtown Toronto carrying a huge tree like plant complete with roots said he intended to give the plant as a housewarming gift to Toronto Raptors MVP Kawhi Leonard after the team won the NBA Championship Thursday night defeating the Golden State Warriors in Oakland California.

    The Plant Guy asked reporter Carcasole if he had seen Leonard in the streets of Toronto at all that night.

    The reporter answered in the negative saying that Kawhi was most likely still in the locker room in Oakland celebrating the victory with his team mates.

    Plant Guy went on down the street where he ran into the ET gray Gali-Gula.

    Gali-Gula was normally only seen by people who had been smoking a certain substance but undoubtedly on this magical Toronto evening, Plant Guy was able to see the little ET.

    Plant Guy and Gali-Gula went for a drink where they ordered a couple of Harvey Wallbangers allowing them to see Harvey Tallbanger the normally invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit secret agent for Set Enterprises.

    Tallbanger informed the pair that the President of Kokuka Sangyo Company (the firm that owned the Kokuka Courageous oil tanker that had been attacked in the Gulf of Oman yesterday) had been attacked by two unidentified “flying objects” in an official statement he made.

    Meanwhile in Ottawa, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told a reporter for a major Canadian financial periodical that he was happy to report that Canadian cannabis sales were up all over the world.

    Meanwhile Donald Trump was having a conversation with Lexington his English butler and valet and asked his butler whether he thought it was a good idea to build a wall along the Canada-U.S. border in an effort to keep Plant Guy out of the U.S.

    -A vampire novel chapter 
    written by Christopher
    Friday June 14th
    2019.

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