Athena and The Kaiser

May 3, 2021 at 10:27 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The year was 1899.
The Kaiser Wilhelm II entered the storage area of the German Imperial Palace in Berlin.
He expected to see an old table that had once been in the Temple of Diana in Ephesus.
It was there.
He expected to see old ceramic pots that had once been sitting in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi to be sitting on the table.
They were there.
He expected to see a chandelier that had once hung in the Palais Garnier Opera House in Paris that had been left unmolested by Erik the Phantom of The Opera to be there.
It was there.
What he hadn’t expected to see was Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom sitting there on the table.

“Athena?” Said the Kaiser.

“You recognize me?” The Greek goddess of wisdom smiled.

“I have a bust of your head in my study,” the Kaiser answered, “In the middle of every bleak December, a raven comes in the room and sits on it crying “Nevermore”. Damn peculiar as my uncle Eddy the Prince of Wales would put it.”

Athena opened her purse and handed him some sketches.

Kaiser Wilhelm looked at the sketches, “These are dinosaurs of some sort aren’t they?”.

“They’re called Tyrannosaurus Rex to be exact,” Athena nodded.

“What is this saucer shaped craft they’re crawling out of?” Wilhelm inquired.

“It is the vehicle they use to fly across space above the Earth,” Athena answered.

“I see,” said Wilhelm, “Why show me these?”.

“Someday these creatures may come to you and offer to produce poison and chemical gases for you that could be used in war. Refuse their offer,” Athena instructed.

“What sort of war might happen that I would even think of using such a weapon?” The Kaiser asked.

He looked up.

Athena had disappeared.

The Kaiser shrugged and took the sketches with him.

He went up to his study and put them under his bust of Pallas Athena.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 3rd 2021.

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Sherrielock Holmes Invited To Mermaid Art Exhibit

January 17, 2017 at 10:56 am (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes was wearing an exquisite turquoise evening dress. She had been invited to an exhibition of paintings of mermaids done by artist Charmaine Olivia at a new London art gallery- The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery.

Her escort for this evening would be her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher. Of course she would not be introduced as Cadbury’s great-grandmother at the Exhibit Opening Night Party. People might talk.

For Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) had turned immortal one fine day back in the 1890s when she had eaten a special blend of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms prepared for her by her boyfriend later husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s great-grandfather).

Sadly her love Dr. Louis Rocher did not prepare and eat a bunch of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms for himself. For whatever reason, he decided to wait to eat the mushroom elixir of life. When the Great War (later known as the First World War) broke out in 1914, Dr. Louis Rocher (who was himself a French citizen) was recruited to work as a research scientist for the British Defense Department preparing Weapons of Mass Destruction to be used against the Kaiser’s Germany and its allies.

The German Intelligence Service hired an American named Bush (this was prior to America’s entry in the war as an opponent of Germany) to search for Dr. Louis Rocher’s Weapons of Mass Destruction but he was unable to find them.

Never one to say die, Bush took the Deutschemarks anyways and returned home to the United States where he opened up a couple of businesses- the Mother of All Drunkards’ Pub and the Baghdad Cafe. Rumour had it that Bush sired a family of U.S. politicians who were about as equally successful at finding Weapons of Mass Destruction in the future.

When Dr. Louis Rocher’s numerous childhood friends died as soldiers fighting in the trenches of France, Dr. Rocher decided to come out from the safety of a British government laboratory and join the fighting himself.

He first tried to join the French Army but was turned down for having lived so many years in Britain. He then tried to join the British Army but was turned down for having been born and raised in France.

Finally Dr. Louis Rocher was able to join the newly formed RAF where he served as a fighter pilot. Dr. Rocher ended up being shot down and killed by the Red Baron aka Baron Manfred von Richthofen in April 1918.

As Dr. Rocher’s Sopwith Camel went streaming down in flames towards the ground, the scientist-fighter pilot lamented, “Poor Sherrie. I guess I really should have eaten those mushrooms after all when I had the chance.”

Baron von Richthofen happened to overhear Dr. Rocher’s remarks as he flew by.

“Gee,” the Red Baron thought to himself, “those must have been awfully tasty mushrooms if they were the last thing on his mind before he left this Earth.”

A day later, the Red Baron in his scarlet coloured Fokker Triplane was wondering to himself where he could purchase those tasty mushrooms that had so gripped the final thoughts of his French RAF opponent.

The Baron was so distracted by his thoughts of mushrooms dancing in his head that he neglected to notice the Canadian pilot on his tail.

Von Richthofen ended up being shot down and killed himself.

“It looks like that will have been the last plate of sauerkraut and eggs and sausage that I’ll ever have,” the Red Baron contemplated his final breakfast as he went down.

Sherrielock Holmes was absolutely devastated when she heard the news of her husband Louis’ death. She was so upset that Sherrielock who was a dominatrix by profession ended up thoroughly tomatoing the buttocks of one of her clients British Prime Minister David Lloyd George when he came calling.

It was quite the long interval before Lloyd George took his seat in the British House of Commons again.

And so with thoughts of Lloyd George’s tomatoed bottom and mermaids’ fishy tails and “what a lovely pair of coconuts” human female tops, Sherrielock sat by the door and waited for her great-grandson and evening escort Dr. Cadbury Rocher to show up in the family limousine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 7th

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Sherrielock Holmes and The Great War Armistice

August 10, 2016 at 12:35 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

6 PM November 8th 1918- Sherrielock Holmes wearing a red evening dress enters the German Imperial Palace in Berlin carrying a rather large suitcase.

Circa 11 PM November 8th 1918- Loud screams could be heard coming from the bedroom of Kaiser Wilhelm II.

November 9th 1918- Kaiser Wilhelm II abdicates the German Imperial throne after he finds he’s no longer able to sit down on it.

November 11th 1918- On the 11th day of the 11th month at the 11th hour (Greenwich time) the Armistice ending the Great War comes into effect.

“That’s two tomatoed buns for Kaiser Wilhelm.
One great victory for the British Empire and its allies.”

-Sherrielock Holmes

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 8th 2016.

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Sherrielock Holmes: From London To Berlin

August 9, 2016 at 12:54 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The First World War known at the time of its fighting as the Great War was starting to wind down. The Entente Powers called on Germany to sign an Armistice.

A new government was forming in Germany but the Kaiser Wilhelm II was hesitant about abdicating.

Angered by Kaiser Bill’s dragging his heels on abdicating, British Prime Minister David Lloyd George sought Winston Churchill’s advice even though Churchill was not officially a member of the cabinet having been in political exile since Gallipoli.

“Well, Winnie, what is to be done?” Lloyd George asked.

“I suggest British Intelligence send over one of its best agents and convince old Kaiser Bill to abdicate,” Winston replied as he smoked his cigar and sipped his brandy.

“And what agent would that be?” Lloyd George looked at his watch and thought it was rather early in the day for someone to be drinking.

“Miss Sherrielock Holmes,” Churchill adjusted the cushion under his buttocks.

“The famous London dominatrix?” Lloyd George looked flabbergasted, “She’s one of our agents for British Intelligence?”.

“Indeed, one of our best, Prime Minister,” Churchill continued to smoke his cigar and sip his brandy,”she was instrumental in helping General Allenby capture Jerusalem. Many Arab fighters had difficulty sitting on their camels during the final assault leading to Allenby’s victory. And she was instrumental in persuading U.S. President Woodrow Wilson to declare war on Germany.”

“I see,” Lloyd George thought he now needed a brandy himself despite the time of day, “so you think if we can send her over to Berlin, we can persuade Kaiser Bill to abdicate?”.

“There’s no doubt in my mind whatsoever, Prime Minister,” Churchill finished his cigar and finished his brandy.

And soon Kaiser Wilhelm will be finished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 8th 2016.

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