Sherrielock Holmes’ 165th Birthday

January 6, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Today is the Feast Day of the Epiphany.

And it was on the Feast Day of The Epiphany in 1854 that two remarkable individuals were born.

Twins.

A boy and a girl.

The boy would go on to achieve fame and fortune as the world’s greatest consulting detective- Sherlock Holmes of 221 B Baker Street.

The girl would remain in the shadows.

One because of her chosen profession- that of a dominatrix.

And although her clientele included members of the British Empire’s high and mighty, no one wished to publicly speak of her.

She also worked for the most secret levels of British Intelligence.

She had been recruited into British Intelligence on the recommendation of one Winston Churchill in 1914 when he served in the World War I British cabinet as First Lord of The Admiralty.

By this time of course Sherrielock Holmes had achieved immortality.

Quite literally.

For she had eaten a specially prepared omelette made with Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms that had been developed by her husband the noted scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who was ironically enough the illegitimate son of her twin brother’s mortal arch Prof. James Moriarty and a single unmarried French woman named Isabelle Rocher) which gave her immortality.

Dr. Rocher decided to wait to prepare a similar omelette and achieve immortality for himself.

A decision he came to regret after his plane was shot down by the Red Baron on April 20th 1918 just the day before the Red Baron was shot down himself by Canadian pilot Roy Brown on April 21st.

His immortal Lingzhi supernatural mushroom omelette recipe went to the ground with him.

Sherrielock Holmes left British Intelligence in 1920 and became a school teacher throughout the 1920s.


Sherrielock Holmes found her dominatrix training came in handy teaching in a girls’ school in the 1920s.


Living life briefly as a blonde, she also found her dominatrix experience came in handy teaching in a boys’ school in the 1920s.

Today of course, Sherrielock turned 165.

Her brother Sherlock had been offered one of Dr. Louis Rocher’s immortal omelettes as well but turned him down describing it as “oriental mumbo-jumbo” and “hocus pocus nonsense”.

Sherlock subsequently died of a massive cardiac arrest on May 28th 1937 upon hearing the news on BBC Radio that Neville Chamberlain had replaced Stanley Baldwin as Prime Minister of Britain.

German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler’s glee was the great British consulting detective’s death agony.

So Sherlock was not present at Sherrielock’s 165th Birthday party being held in the main dining room at the Savoy Hotel in London tonight hosted by her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was the chief scientist at Set Enterprises the research and development firm owned by the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was the man said to embody the best (and the worst) of Holmes and Moriarty blood.

His greatest testtube genetic creation was present- the shapeshifting hamster/human British MP Renfield R. Renfield widely touted to someday become the Prime Minister of Britain and the Sir Winston Churchill of the 21st Century.

Also present was Amadeus Emanon (Set’s personal concert pianist) who had recently started recording his own songs at a major London music and recording studio and those few music critics who had listened to his songs touted him as a future British music sensation to equal the likes of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury.

Not present was Pan Goatee who had run away from Set Enterprises laboratories to join an American electric music rock band back in 2013 and now worked as a contract assassin for America’s DARPA and a satyr serial killer of ugly women.

There were various genetically modified animals that Dr. Rocher had created as well- including Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was currently occupying a blow proof lobster tank in the dining room of the Savoy.

That new Rocher prototype lobster tank turned out not to be so blow proof when Sherrielock entered the Savoy dining room wearing her lovely evening dress.

Waiters and bus boys were still mopping up water and London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley (who were a defeated British Conservative MP and defeated British Labour MP respectively) hired to provide security for the birthday party were trying to prevent Gordon Ramsay, who had mistaken Michelangelo for an ordinary crustacean, from placing him in a pot of boiling water.

Intelligence agents from Russia, China and Venezuela were also at the event hoping to discover Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s plans for the redevelopment of the ancient Hebrew general Joshua’s trumpets capable of bringing down any wall (which would virtually ensure that Donald Trump would be pissing $5.6 billion in U.S. taxpayers’ money down the drain).

Renfield was already on his Huawei smart phone communicating with his latest crush newly elected Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:

“Now more than ever I think $5.6 billion would be better spent towards implementing a national public health insurance program that most civilized nations in the western world already have” – Renfield

As for another of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s creations, the genetically recreated winged horse Pegasus was now the pet and favourite animal of Queen Rania of Jordan.

She had received offers from both Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and Jared Kushner to sell him but she had turned both men down flat.

And as in another place, billionaire George Soros was drowning his sorrows in champagne over the possible imminent collapse of the Brussels led European Union, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was proposing a toast to Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday.

And the ghost of Orson Welles took an old black and white picture of Sherrielock Holmes with an old Polaroid Model 95 Land camera invented by Edwin Land in 1948:

Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday- Not looking a day over 25.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 6th
2018
Feast of Epiphany

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Samael Satan Santa Muerte In The Midst of Hurricane Michael

October 10, 2018 at 11:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Samael Satan Santa Muerte In The Midst of Hurricane Michael

The fallen Archangel Samael (who was actually the entity called Satan in the Book of Job and not Lucifer the Devil) is in the middle of the vortex that is Hurricane Michael as it weaves its path of destruction.

Samael, who had been spending a great deal of time in Mexico where he was worshiped as the spectral figure of Santa Muerte (depicted as a female Saint since Samael dressed in drag for this apparition after having fallen prey to a psychoanalysis session conducted by the bisexual transgendered goat-Human hybrid demon god Baphomet) by the Mexican drug cartels, drug dealers and various drug gang members, had heard of the tropical storm that was named Michael.

Since Michael was his old nemesis who had thrown him out of Heaven (Michael having done the very same to the first rebellious Archangel Lucifer the Devil also called the Ancient Serpent and the Great Dragon), Samael decided to take revenge on his old nemesis by entering the eye of the tropical storm and turning it into a hurricane to wreak great destruction.

This would be his vengeance against Michael.

Hell hath no fury like a fallen Archangel thrown out of Heaven.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was in his greenhouse inhaling marijuana smoke 💨 being exhaled by his genetically created pot smoking desert cactus 🌵 plant that he had named Strawberry Fields Forever.

He was also practicing a Guided Imagery Visualization exercise that he had read in a New Age book that came highly recommended by Oprah.

Then his spirit guide adviser appeared to him who was none other than Gali-Gula an ET Gray from the planet Nibiru who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula.

Only this time unlike his previous appearances, Gali-Gula had two heads instead of one.

“Wow, you have two heads,” said an impressed Justin, “Totally far out, man.”

“I don’t really have two heads,” Gali-Gula looked in the mirror to make sure, “Only you inhaled pot and practiced Guided Imagery Visualization at the same time. Something you should never do. Like drinking and driving, they don’t mix. That’s why you see me with an extra head.”

“Wow, imagine the shape I’d be in if I encountered a hundred headed hydra then,” Justin was starting to get a bad case of the munchies and ordered a super deluxe pizza 🍕 on his smart phone.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Gali-Gula asked the Canadian Prime Minister.

“What did I want to talk to you about?” Justin scratched his second head as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, “Oh, what did you think of my saving the NAFTA Trade Deal at the last moment?”.

“You didn’t save the NAFTA Trade Deal at the last moment and the deal is now called the USMCA,” Gali-Gula answered as he sucked on a lollipop 🍭 as Strawberry Fields Forever hoisted a sailing ⛵️ ship mast on his prickly person and started to sing an old Shirley Temple song from the 1930s.

“I didn’t and it is?” Justin fell back on the greenhouse’s soft carpeted floor (the Prime Minister had ordered the greenhouse floor to be carpeted to prevent further head injury to himself), “Wow. This is really turning into the trip of a lifetime.”

“Yes, what happened is when the NAFTA talks with Canada were on the verge of collapse last week, your Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland hired British dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to tomato 🍅 Donald Trump’s buttocks and get him to do something to save the deal. After he was unable to sit down, Trump asked his son-in-law Jared Kushner to do something to save the talks. So Kushner went in at the last hour and saved the deal that became the USMCA,” Gali-Gula explained as he blew a twenty foot bubble with a piece of bubble gum.

“So it was Jared Kushner that saved our trade deal with the U.S.?” Justin sighed as the ET gray burst his bubble, “No wonder Ivanka turned down my marriage proposal.”

. . .

London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes was waiting outside Westminster Abbey where she was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to show up.

Both Sherrielock and Dracul had been hired by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to prevent a combined mermaid-Russian invasion of Israel.

As Dracul approached the lovely immortal dominatrix, Sherrielock said to him,

“Why, Dracul, what a big Cossack fur hat you have.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 10th
2018.

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