Aztec Vampire Princess To Be Hung In Venezuela While Pope Francis Meets Che Guevara’s Ghost In Panama

January 23, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec about to be hung at a Nicolas Maduro compound in Caracas Venezuela

For the past few years, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been plotting to overthrow the Stalinist government of President Nicolas Maduro in Venezuela.

Almost 2 weeks ago she had poisoned the head of Venezuela’s intelligence service on the date of Nicolas Maduro’s 2nd inauguration as President of Venezuela (he had won a fraudulent election last year in a campaign boycotted by the Opposition).

Now she had been captured by Maduro’s Venezuelan security services and was about to be hung.

Her secret whereabouts in Caracas had been revealed to the security services by the fallen Archangel Samael (who was the angel of death according to the Babylonian Talmud and was the entity (it wasn’t Lucifer the Devil) called Satan in the Book of Job).

Samael like Qonzilqointec lived in Mexico.

He had been living there since the early 1930s and had become a transitioning transgendered demon while living there in that decade of the ’30s (in that respect he was decades ahead of his time).

While transitioning and putting on women’s clothing, Samael had changed his name to Santa Muerte (the Spanish feminine name for Saint Death).

He/she was now of course the patron saint of drug gangs and drug dealers in Mexico.

Samael/Santa Muerte had always considered the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec a rival for power in both Mexico and throughout Latin America.

When he found out she had gone to her secret revolutionary headquarters in Caracas on this day, he reported it to the Venezuelan security services who raided the place and arrested her.

When Santa Muerte heard the news of Qonzilqointec’s arrest and soon to be subsequent hanging, he/she drank 13 bottles of tequila, ate 13 worms from those bottles and plotted going over to the Aztec vampire princess’ Mexico City penthouse apartment to help himself/herself to Qonzilqointec’s lovely collection of skirts and dresses for himself/herself.

Ironically enough, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to be hung on the same day that Venezuela’s National Assembly head and Opposition leader Juan Guaido had sworn himself in as interim President of Venezuela in a move recognized by Canada, the U.S., Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Panama, Paraguay, Peru and Ecuador.

The Mexican government was waiting to see if Qonzilqointec would be hung first before announcing any change in policy.

Bolivia, Cuba, El Salvador and Nicaragua (all leftist governments on good terms with the Jesuit Pope Francis) were still recognizing Maduro as Venezuela’s President.

And speaking of Pope Francis, he was in Panama to attend World Youth Day events.

Prior to attending those events, the Pontiff would be meeting with the ghost of Che Guevara who was recently granted a dispensation by the Greek god Hades and the Norse goddess Hel (at Pope Francis’ request) to leave the Underworld for a brief time period.

Meanwhile in Havana Cuba where ironically the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike (a genetic clone of the Freemasonic racist Lucifer worshipping Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike) lived, Serena the Time Travelling magician was plotting his death.

Robur Pike who called himself Robur The Conqueror II (after Jules Verne’s character) flew around Cuba and the world in a Robur The Conqueror style airship.

Serena the Time Traveler was planning to use her steampunk missile gun to shoot it down.


Serena the Time Traveler ready to shoot down Robur The Conqueror II’s airship.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 23rd
2019.

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Belvedere and The Enchantress

July 22, 2017 at 7:58 pm (International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere and The Enchantress

It was a hot August night in 1885.

And Belvedere the bartender at The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon was the laughing stock of the entire town of Hayden Colorado.

Earlier in the evening, Belvedere had told a saloon bar patron that he was still a virgin.

“What?” The patron started laughing his head off, “You’re 45 years old and you’re still a virgin?”.

Word of Belvedere’s admission had spread around the town like wildfire.

When a fire ranger rode up from Denver to Hayden and was told there was no actual fire, he fell off his horse 🐴 laughing when told the real reason for the excitement in town.

Unfortunately for Belvedere, his employer Sherrielock Holmes the proprietress of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon was away attending an opera in San Francisco on the West Coast.

Otherwise she’d have tomatoed many of the townspeople’s bottoms for making fun of her bartender.

Belvedere sat on the wooden sidewalk in front of the saloon blubbering away when a beautiful blonde woman walked by.

“What’s wrong, Belvedere?” The beautiful blonde asked.

“Do I know you?” Belvedere blinked at her.

“I’m Serena, one of the new girls that Miss Sherrielock hired last week,” the blonde sat beside him and raised her skirt showing very shapely legs.

“Oh yes, I heard Miss Holmes had hired some new girls,” Belvedere blew his nose into his tie and then took it off and put it into a box intending to give it as a Christmas gift to the man who had told the whole town that he was a virgin.

The lovely blonde reached into her low-cut blouse and pulled out a beautiful railway watch on a chain (that she kept between her cleavage).

“I see it’s 8 in the evening,” Serena cooed, “what do you intend to do the rest of the night?”.

“I have no idea,” Belvedere looked up at the night sky 🌌 and saw a shooting star 🌠.

“Did you make a wish, Belvedere?” She moved closer to him and put her arms around him.

“Um, yes I did,” said Belvedere.

“Well, why don’t you come up to my room then,” she whispered in his ear, “and then we can make your wish come true.”

Belvedere looked inside the water trough for the horses that was a few feet away.

The reflection in the water showed the pyramids of Egypt against the night sky.

Belvedere thought it was an opportune night to make his wish come true.

He walked up the saloon’s back stairs with Serena to her room.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 22nd
2017.

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Belvedere Discovers His Enchantress

June 24, 2017 at 3:40 pm (International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , )

Belvedere the reporter for the Times of London had not always been the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander.

He was originally human but had been turned into a ghost white salamander back in August 1885 when he did not pay a working girl for services rendered in a room above a Wild West saloon.

The brothel girl cast a spell that turned him into a ghost white salamander.

He turned into the ghost of a ghost white salamander when an ox cart heading west ran over him as he crawled in a westernly direction.

Belvedere had heard through his sources that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had managed to take a coloured photograph with his lobster antennae of an assassination attempt made on Josef Stalin in his personal steam locomotive train back on June 22nd 1931.

Belvedere wondered if Michelangelo’s lobster antennae could photographically go back in time to August 15th 1885 the day that he was changed into a ghost white salamander.

And spot who was the enchantress who did this to him?

For Belvedere had forgotten what she looked like after he got run over by an ox cart.

Not of course that the Enchantress was probably still alive to turn him back.

But he’d like to know who she was.

Belvedere went down to the Set Enterprises lab and put in the request to Michelangelo.

Michelangelo’s lobster antennae started flashing red and blue lights as the photo started coming in.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher checked the screen of the computer hooked up to Michelangelo’s antennae as the photo appeared.

Serena

“That’s her,” said Belvedere, “that was the newly employed brothel girl at The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon who turned me into a ghost white salamander when I didn’t pay her for sleeping with me.”

“What,” cried the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set as he entered the room, “that’s Serena my fiancee. You mean to say she time traveled back to the day August 15th 1885 and slept with you?”.

Belvedere decided it might not be a good idea to stay in the same room as an angry vampire so he vanished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 24th
2017.

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The Steampunk Girl Time Traveler

June 22, 2017 at 5:16 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had called his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set down to the Set Enterprises lab to show him something.

“This is a photographic image that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster picked up from the date June 22nd 1931,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher showed Set the photo.

Serena The Time Traveler

“My god the Great Sun God Ra,” Set whispered, “it’s Serena.”

Serena was the name of Set’s fiancee who had been assassinated by a Soviet assassin Leonid Terovsky back in the autumn of 1924.

Her body was currently lying in a special lab at Set Enterprises.

Prior to that, she had been kept in a glass coffin (at low temperatures to preserve her body) at Set’s colossal West London mansion.

She had been moved to Set Enterprises Laboratories in the year 2000 when Set had hired the scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was the great-grandson of French scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who had come close to discovering the secret of immortality prior to his being shot down by the Red Baron in April of 1918) and Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister who had attained immortality for herself by eating a specially prepared Lingzhi supernatural mushroom cooked for her by her husband Dr. Louis Rocher).

Set hoped that Dr. Rocher would find a way of bringing his beloved fiancee Serena back from the dead.

“That’s Serena all right,” Set recognized the Steampunk style skirted outfits that she loved to wear.

Steampunk is a genre of science-fiction where the science and inventions of the Victorian and Edwardian era carried on in an alternate universe and machinery was analog and not digital and based on steam power and not petroleum and where airships and dirigibles and monoplanes and biplanes and triplanes ruled the skies and not jets.

Steampunk genre had influenced movies like Wild Wild West, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Van Helsing and the 2009 Sherlock Holmes.

“What is she doing in that photo?” Set asked.

“Notice the Soviet Red Star on the train and she appears to be holding a detonator in her hands,” said Dr. Rocher, “there was an attempt to blow up a train Josef Stalin was riding in back on June 22nd 1931.”

“Serena has become a time traveler,” Set gasped, “and she’s tried to kill Josef Stalin the man who had arranged for the circumstances of her own death.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 22nd
2017.

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Serena Slain

June 20, 2017 at 2:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

It was the autumn of 1924.

And the wealthy Egyptian vampire Set was showing his fiancee Serena the house he had bought them.

Soviet secret police assassin Leonid Terovsky watched the couple.

He then stepped forward into the moonlight, pulled out a revolver and fired six shots into Set.

Who didn’t die.

Since he was a vampire.

Terrified and confused, Leonid stepped back.

Angered, Set approached the assassin.

Leonid pulled out his other revolver and started firing again.

This time in the direction of Serena.

Who being mortal immediately hit the ground.

Covered in blood.

“No,” Set screamed as he turned around.

He rushed to Serena and held her in his arms where she died.

Terovsky fled down the street.

Set continued to hold the slain Serena in his arms as he wept.

Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister) was walking down the street when she saw the scene.

She approached.

Set explained what happened.

“I wish I had the chance to turn her into a vampiress as she lay dying but her death happened too quickly,” Set wept.

“I know what you mean,” Sherrielock said, “My love died before he had the opportunity to make himself immortal.”

She told Set how her husband Dr. Louis Rocher had made an extract from the Lingzhi Supernatural mushroom which when she ate it had made her immortal.

But Dr. Rocher had waited to eat the Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms himself.

And before he could do so, he ended up being shot down by the Red Baron during the Great War of 1914-18.

“It’s too bad Louis wasn’t still alive,” Sherrielock said, “he might have been able to bring your fiancee back from the dead.”

“Did you and he have any children?” Set asked.

“Yes, five,” Sherrielock replied, “three boys and two girls.”

“I wonder if any of them or their descendants will have your husband Louis’ genius,” Set reflected.

“Possibly,” Sherrielock answered.

Set resolved to have Serena’s body frozen in the hopes that one of Dr. Louis Rocher’s and Sherrielock Holmes’ descendants would be a scientific genius capable of bringing Serena back from the dead.

In the meantime, Set tracked down the assassin Leonid Terovsky, had him tortured and later killed.

But Set gleaned from Terovksy that Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary Josef Stalin had ordered the assassination.

Set resolved to destroy both the USSR and the worldwide Bolshevik movement.

But as Set surveyed the world stage, there did not seem to him too many politicians who were capable of destroying both the USSR and the worldwide Bolshevik movement.

Until a young Austrian born politician creating a ruckus in Bavaria came into his sights.

The name of the young Austrian born politician in Bavaria making a name for himself?

Adolf Hitler.

His movement the National Socialist German Workers’ Party- the NSDAP- better known as the Nazis.

Set moved to Germany in 1925 in an effort to better promote and finance the movement.

Just like a stone thrown into water creates unforeseen ripple effects, evil like good can create the same ripple effects.

And no one knows where the ripple effects will end.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 20th
2017.

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Stalin Plans To Attack Set

June 19, 2017 at 3:44 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary Josef Stalin was having a conversation with Felix Dzerzhinsky the director of OGPU (the name of the Soviet Secret Police at the time) during the summer of 1924.

Stalin was pissed off by the way the British Empire was carrying on at the time.

“Who the Hell do these Brits think they are anyways?” Stalin foamed with rage towards Dzerzhinsky, “Hell, you think they’re the only people in the world who know how to make tea properly.”

Stalin walked over to a samovar and poured himself a cup of tea.

He put it to his lips and spit it out.

“Do you have any more of that Red Rose tea brand you served me once?” He asked Dzerzhinsky.

“It’s available only in Canada,” Dzerzhinsky replied, “A spy from Canada brought me some once. Just before I shot him for sleeping with my favourite Moscow prostitute who I thought was for my eyes only.”

“We’ll have to invade Canada someday,” Stalin thought philosophically.

“Probably one of those tough strict Jesuit schools in Quebec will produce a Marxist who’ll become Prime Minister someday,” Dzerzhinsky threw aside an old Canadian newspaper that contained Pierre Elliot Trudeau’s birth announcement.

“I want to avenge myself on Britain,” said Stalin, “maybe assassinate one of their leading politicians or businessmen.”

“I don’t think the Soviet Union can win a war with Britain at this point in our history,” Dzerzhinsky said, “might I suggest assassinating a foreigner in the country. There’s a wealthy Egyptian businessman and investor by the name of Mr. Sol Invictus Set. Very buddy buddy with the Prince of Wales. Just bought himself a big house in the Collingwood Hills district of Kensington in West London. Here’s his picture.”

“Who’s the lovely woman with him?” Stalin asked.

“Only goes by the name of Serena,” Dzerzhinsky answered, “she was a magician’s assistant to that magician who goes by the name of the Great Houdini.”

“Isn’t that Houdini a Jew?” Stalin asked with the utmost contempt on his face.

“He is,” Dzerzhinsky answered.

“One day we’ll rid the world of all Jews,” Stalin looked outside his office and noticed Leon Trotsky walking down the hall.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 19th
2017.

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Set Buys Himself A House

June 14, 2017 at 3:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

So now that Serena was free of her magician’s assistant contract with the Great Houdini, Set decided to buy a house for them to live in once they were married.

He bought the house a colossal mansion in West London in 1924.

This was the house as it looked in a painting in 1926.

91 years after the painting was painted, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was meeting in his colossal West London mansion with his Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering Renfield R. Renfield.

“So Renfield, now that you’ve been elected a Member of Parliament, you’ll probably no longer be able to carry out your duties as my Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering,” Set scratched a chalkboard with his 66 inch long fingernails.

Renfield held his ears, “No, probably not, boss.”

Amadeus Emanon started playing Mozart’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik on the piano in the drawing room.

“Which means since you’re no longer my employee, you’ll no longer be able to live in this mansion,” said Set coldly.

Renfield started to cry.

He hadn’t thought of that when he first ran for MP.

But then again he never really expected to be elected.

Renfield expected he had scored quite highly on the autism spectrum in the test that his mental health counselor had given him yesterday.

“However I’ve been talking to my chartered accountant Ian Mandell Boring who professionally goes by his initials I.M. Boring,” Set started feeling drowsy, “and he says if you pay me $12,000 rent a year to live here, you’ll be able to declare that on your expense account and be reimbursed at the end of the tax year. Besides having an MP in the household is a good thing. That way, I might be able to influence government policy.”

“Thanks, boss,” Renfield loudly blew his nose into his handkerchief.

“So, of course in the meantime, I’ve had to hire a new Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises,” Set looked out the window.

“And who is that?” Renfield asked while drinking from a bottle of whisky.

“Sherrielock Holmes,” Set answered.

“The world famous London dominatrix?” Renfield was shocked.

“Yes and I believe your personal dominatrix,” Set played with his Rolex watch on a chain.

“Those are vicious rumours spread by the fake lying media in this country,” Renfield did an impersonation of Donald Trump.

“Sherrielock will be able to use the dungeons in the basement for her dominatrix business by night,” Set reflected, “and by day, she’ll do what you used to do.”

“You mean, during the day, she’ll do nothing,” Amadeus quipped as he entered the room.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 14th
2017.

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Houdini In A Cage: A Poem

June 12, 2017 at 3:55 pm (History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Serena The Magician's Assistant

Once the Great Houdini was all the rage
now he kneels imprisoned in a bird cage
for his magician’s assistant Serena came up with his latest tricks
like how to saw in half a woman using only mud and bricks

But Serena had fallen in love
like peace and the snow white dove
she had fallen in love with a vampire no less
a vampire who would often dress to impress

This vampire was the ancient Egyptian Set
who fancied stormy nights not cats as his pet
he had fled his prison tomb on 1918’s Armistice Day
and boarded an English ship in Alexandria’s distant bay

These past few years he lived in England
with only some acquaintances ne’er a true friend
That changed when he met Serena who from the future came
now his investment analysis forecasts were no longer so lame

He’s now making a huge fortune in various stocks and bonds
eating in the best London restaurants enjoying steaks and prawns
now he and Serena want to get closer together
holding wedding ring hands strolling in rainy weather

But Houdini says he won’t allow it, she’s just too good to leave
for finding a better assistant- he couldn’t pull one out of his sleeve
he says if she leaves, he’ll call the press and reveal all
how in a strange time warp, she came from 2017 in a backwards fall

But Serena had other tricks
and no time for Houdini’s kicks
She imprisoned him in a cage
whispering, In here you’ll start to age.

And Houdini begged and pleaded, all to no avail
and Serena said, I’m going to dip this cage in a keg of ale
Finally Houdini agreed to let her go
so from a keg tap, no mini magician would flow.
And Set and Serena would wander into sunset’s glow
that is if his being a vampire hadn’t spoiled the show.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 12th 2017.

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Serena, Set and Houdini

June 8, 2017 at 3:18 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

It was the year 1920.

And the Egyptian vampire Set had heard that the Great Houdini was performing even greater magic stunts ever since he had hired a new assistant called Serena.

In fact, Set had heard the controversial British politician Winston Churchill say down at the Royal Albert Club, “It is my firm belief that it is the assistant Serena who’s responsible for planning these new amazing tricks of his and not the Great Houdini himself.”

“That’s probably true,” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle piped up while smoking his pipe, “after all, Houdini doesn’t believe in Spiritualism.”

“Neither I believe did that great detective Sherlock Holmes,” Churchill answered back over his brandy.

Doyle harrumphed.

For Doyle had chronicled Holmes’ career.

“I hear some people say that she’s from the future,” a dodgy old member of the House of Lords spoke up.

“She must be,” Churchill answered, “she says I’ll be Prime Minister someday.”

“More likely from an insane asylum then,” an opposing Member of Parliament spoke up.

“Well she did say the distant future is an insane asylum,” Churchill reflected.

Set thought he better go see this magician’s assistant himself.

If she’s from the future, she may be able to tell me what I should invest in, thought Set.

For Set worked as an investment analyst in the City of London.

In fact, he was the only investment analyst in London one could phone in the middle of the night.

The fact that he was a vampire was what kept him up at night.

Set went to the dressing room of the theatre where Houdini was performing.

Without knocking, he entered the door marked ASSISTANT.

And then he saw her.
Serena the Magician's Assistant

Serena.

For the first time since he thought he was in love with his sister Isis (which led to the whole family dispute with his brother Osiris and his nephew Horus), Set was in love.

Love at first sight.

A vampire had fallen for a magician’s assistant.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 8th
2017.

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The Magician’s Assistant

June 4, 2017 at 3:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The date the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont and Amadeus Emanon had last night was cut short by the terrorist attack on London Bridge and Central London.

British Prime Minister Theresa May called on all political parties to refrain from “politicizing the terrorist attacks”.

Renfield R. Renfield not belonging to any of the mainstream political parties ignored the directive and rented a theatre in the town of Tewkesbury where he showed videos of his interrogating ISIS menbers.

Here were some of the videos shown:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/08/26/renfields-video-for-the-ice-bucket-challenge/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/08/28/renfields-direct-video-response-to-isis-beheading-video/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/qonzilqointec-arrives-on-scene-after-renfield-beheading-of-an-isis-fighter-video/

When Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds’ sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agathor Christie sat in the theatre alongside his French maid Simone watching the Renfield interrogating ISIS videos, he buried his head in his hands, “When the voters see this, he’ll win this constituency by a landslide.”

A young girl Serena when she heard of the latest terrorist attacks went to a vintage store in downtown Salisbury and bought herself a late Victorian era/early Edwardian era costume.

She then put it on and went to a magic show in town where Salaman the Magician was performing.

When he called for a volunteer from the audience to be locked inside a trunk, she volunteered.

“Send me back to a trunk in the 1920s,” she begged Salaman.

Salaman looked surprised.

He locked the trunk.

Said abracadrabra and opened the trunk.

She was gone.

Which was part of the act.

He then opened a door in the center of the stage.

Where she was now supposed to be.

She wasn’t.

Salaman searched all the stage.

She had indeed completely vanished.

Which wasn’t part of the act.

Houdini turned around in his chair when he heard the door of his trunk opening from the inside as he sat in his London hotel room on what was otherwise a normal day in the early 1920s.

He saw Serena stepping out.
Serena The Magician's Assistant

“Who are you?” Houdini asked.

“I am Serena,” Serena replied, “I am from the year 2017.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 4th
2017.

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