Maria Orsic and Franz Kohler In The Inca Temple of Doom

May 10, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Archaeology, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and Maria Orsic of the Vril Society in an Inca temple in 1946.

The year was 1946.

The war was over.

And Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau was in South America.

He was now a vampire.

Having been turned into a vampire by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in Berlin in the dying days of the Third Reich.

As for Maria Orsic the head of the Germanic Vril Society (a society made up of female psychics and mystics), she had been turned into an immortal by the Norse god Odin in Munich in 1923.

Odin had given her a cup of ambrosia to drink that he had won from the Greek god Zeus during a poker game in Paris.

Maria Orsic and Franz Kohler were currently in an unknown (to the world at large) Inca temple in northwestern Argentina.

The temple was dedicated to the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama.

Inside the temple was a statue of Pachamama that was said could be used to summon Pachamama herself.

British archaeologist Digby Spencer Churchill (a distant cousin of Winston’s) was hunting for the statue.

Kohler as a dedicated Nazi did not want the statue to fall into the hands of the British and especially not into the hands of the Churchill family.

Unfortunately for Kohler and Orsic as they flew into the region by plane the map they had been given was drawn by a blind man who suffered from amnesia and had not been in the region since childhood.

Thus they were somewhat behind Digby Spencer Churchill in getting to the small statue.

They looked down into the bottom chamber of the temple with their guns drawn and saw Digby picking up the small statue.

“All right, Digby, put down that statue and put your hands up,” Kohler commanded.

“What happens if I don’t?” Digby inquired.

“We’ll shoot you dead,” Kohler replied.

Digby put down the statue but instead of putting his hands up, he reached into his own pocket and pulled out a gun and began firing at the vampire.

“Unfortunately for you, Digby, I’m a vampire so your bullets unless they’re silver are totally useless against me,” Kohler grinned.

“So that’s what my mother must have meant when she told me to get the lead out,” Digby reflected out loud.

“On the other hand, you did thoroughly wreck and ruin a nice 100,000 pesos suit,” Kohler looked at the bullet holes in his jacket and pants.

Kohler then shot Digby 5 or 6 times (he wasn’t sure how many cartridges the gun held and lost count).

“Bloody Hell,’ Digby sputtered, “Shooting a fellow before he’s had the chance to enjoy his afternoon tea. Awfully unsporting of you.”

Those were the final words Digby spoke before he kicked the bucket.

The bucket after Digby had kicked it landed on top of the statue and smashed it into a thousand pieces.

“Bloody Hell,” Kohler broke into an apoplectic vampiric fit.

“Perhaps,” Maria Orsic suggested, “If we take it to a Jesuit seminary somewhere in Argentina, they might know how to put it back together again.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 10th
2022.

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Maria Alexa Romanova

April 19, 2022 at 10:31 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova

The Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova (a second cousin once removed to the late Czar of Russia Nicholas II) sat on her cushioned double headed Phoenix throne in her Paris hotel room in the year 1936.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was at her feet where he had landed after coming from the future using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern for time travel.

The ghost of Orson Welles had accompanied him.

Welles’ ghost had landed in a comfortable arm chair in the hotel room and was even now sampling a glass of champagne next to him as well as a dish of Black Sea caviar.

“Who are you?” The Grand Duchess and 12th in line to the Russian Imperial Throne asked.

“I’m Dracul Van Helsing and this is my friend the ghost of Orson Welles,” the vampire hunter replied.

“But I thought Orson Welles was still alive,” Maria stated, “A rising young star on both stage and radio.”

“I was back in the day,” Welles licked his ghostly fingers, “But I died on October 10th 1985 after giving what turned out to be my last interview on the Merv Griffin Show where I talked about the happiness of hedgehogs, my sex life and Rita Hayworth.”

“I hope only two of those things are connected in that last statement you made,” Dracul looked concerned.

“You’re from the future?” Maria Alexa looked surprised, “Why are you here?”.

“Because Franz Kohler the last surviving member of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and a vampire intends to kidnap you,” Van Helsing answered.

“But why?” The Grand Duchess leaned back on her cushiony throne.

“Something to do with the Ukrainian Azov Nazi Battalions,” Van Helsing replied.

“The… what?” Maria tried to grasp what was being said.

“Nazis of our time period in the early 21st Century,” Van Helsing explained, “The brainless mainstream media of our day in the West don’t talk about them because they don’t want to admit that Vladimir Putin could be right about anything.”

“Vladimir…?” The name froze on the Grand Duchess’ tongue.

“Putin,” Welles finished the last of his Black Sea caviar, “Russia’s leader of our day.”

“Glad to see that pig Stalin didn’t find the secret to immortality,” Maria Alexa breathed a sigh of relief.

“No but Transhumanist billionaire oligarchs of our day are working on it for themselves,” Welles’ ghost got on the phone and asked Room Service to send some spectral coq au vin up to the room, “although Stalin does have a number of ardent disciples in the Western world such as a pale faced lily white boy named Justin Castro Trudeau who lives in Ottawa Canada and is jealous of the appearance of African-Americans.”

“What is the connection between this Ahnenerbe SS officer Franz Kohler and the Ukrainian Nazi Azov Battalions?” The Grand Duchess inquired.

“They’re all disciples of the Black Sun,” Van Helsing answered.

“The Black Sun?” Maria Alexa was surprised by all these terms.

“The Black Sun is really a brownish red dwarf star called Nemesis which orbits around the planet Nibiru as it travels across the galaxy,” Van Helsing noted, “First noted in little known ancient Egyptian texts and Franz Kohler became obsessed with them. Solar winds from Nemesis may have combined with solar winds from our own sun named Sol Invictus in terms of cosmology to have produced a rather spectacular display of the Aurora Borealis Northern Lights back on January 25th 1938 in fulfillment of the Virgin Mary’s prophecy at Fatima that this would be the sign the Second World War would soon start.”

“What does all this have to do with me?” Maria wanted to know.

“We’re not sure but we want to prevent Franz Kohler from kidnapping you and taking you back to the future to the city of Kiev,” Van Helsing sat beside the Grand Duchess.

“There’s only a limited time period for Kohler to kidnap you before his time travel debit card expires,” Welles finished the champagne, “Ah, I see looking at my Dick Tracy style spectral television wrist watch that our partner in time Michelangelo has just successfully used one of his Hydra blood dipped lobster antennae to jab and poison Franz Kohler in his ankle in the lobby of the hotel. This means you’re safe, Your Imperial Highness.”

“So what shall we do now?” The Grand Duchess asked.

“How about make love?” Van Helsing suggested.

The two were soon making out on the large cushioned double headed Phoenix throne just as Room Service arrived with the coq au vin.

“That would be for me,” Welles motioned to the bell boy.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 19th
2022.

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Tamara and Pamela

October 11, 2021 at 10:35 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Tamara and Pamela: Going our way, Mr. Albion?

The year was 1937.

The city was Los Angeles Californa.

And walking down the street was Carson Cody Albion Private Eye.

When suddenly the back door of a very large car opened and two beautiful young women greeted him:

“Going our way, Mr. Albion?”.

“I’m always going your way, Tamara and Pamela,” Albion answered.

Albion got into the car.

Another car was parked on the side of the street.

Its backseat occupant was one Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau.

He asked the car’s driver (who was the chauffeur to the German Consul in Los Angeles), “Was that the private eye Carson Cody Albion?”.

“It was,” the chauffeur nodded.

“Merde,” Kohler spoke the only French word he knew, “Another car picked him up before we could.”

Carson Cody Albion Private Eye had fun the rest of the day.

Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau did not.

To Be Continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 11th
2021.

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Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Vampire Franz Kohler and The Black Hand

September 15, 2021 at 10:19 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sir Sean Connery (aka 007) appeared in a dream to British MP Renfield R. Renfield and told him, “Dr. Anthony Fauci is the hatchet man for a group of powerful and evil globalist villains.”

Meanwhile in California, a group of satanists were performing a human sacrifice in thanksgiving for Neo-Stalinist Governor Gavin Newsom not being recalled.

And over in Stockholm, Sweden, a woman was leaving the house of a slain Swedish microbiologist who had been examining the mRNA genetic modifier serums (called “vaccines” by the global medical technocracy) with a briefcase full of his documents.

Over in the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was having a vision of Our Lady of La Salette weeping.

And over at the Wuhan Institute of Virology, the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler was being shown around the institute by Chinese People’s Liberation Army Gen. Li Zuocheng.

Suddenly Gen. Li’s Huawei smart phone went off.

He happened to see a Set News Network notification- a quote from British MP Renfield R. Renfield:

“Benedict Arnold is alive and well and living in U.S. Armed Services Chief of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.
Meanwhile Communist Chinese warships and a destroyer have been spotted off the coast of Alaska.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

“We’re really going to have to do something about that troublesome British MP,” Gen. Li seethed.

“What is this?” Franz Kohler asked as he pointed towards a liquid filled tank that contained what appeared to be a charcoal burnt black hand.

“That is a relic we call the Black Hand,” Gen. Li answered.

“I’m sure I’ve seen it before,” Kohler answered.

Indeed he had.

The Black Hand had crawled across the German-Polish border just prior to the Nazi invasion of Poland.

“It’s a good luck charm,” Gen. Li explained, “This Black Hand has been overseeing our research into the bat Coronavirus ever since Dr. Anthony Fauci started funding GAIN OF FUNCTION research into it here at the Wuhan Institute starting in 2017.”

“And where did you get the Black Hand?” Nazi SS officer Franz Kohler asked.

“It was a gift from George Soros,” Gen. Li answered.

As for evil globalist billionaire George Soros, he had a busy weekend this past weekend.

He was busy entertaining aging over the hill 1960s hallucinogenic drug taking flower child and so-called representative of the people Rep. Nancy Pelosi.

And a long long time ago in a land far far away the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith had made out with the Watcher angel Semjaza while two black wolves watched.

And Lilith gave birth to Azazel who taught men the art of war and women the art of enchantment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 15th
2021.

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Maria Orsic and The Turing Jukebox Computer

February 23, 2021 at 11:05 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Maria Orsic and The Turing Jukebox Computer

Two rogue agents for MI-5 (although no one in MI-5 knew they were rogue agents) informed British Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the Occult and Paranormal Research Division of Interpol was aware of his midnight meetings with zombie nosferatu that were going on in the ballroom of the newly opened Imperial Aurora Hotel in London and that it might be a good idea if he ceased these meetings for the time being.

A spy for Interpol at 10 Downing Street informed Interpol agent Peter Whitstable the head of the Occult and Paranormal Research Division of the warning from the MI-5 rogue agents which inspired messy haired Boris Johnson (who was still unaware of the invention of the comb that had taken place centuries earlier) to cancel further meetings.

Whitstable thus called an end to the Interpol sting operation at the Imperial Aurora Hotel which would have exposed the Johnson-zombie nosferatu meetings.

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka returned to her flat in central London (she had rented a room right in the Imperial Aurora Hotel which would have allowed her close contact to the ballroom).

Dracul Van Helsing likewise returned to his flat in East London.

And Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was currently at the Set Enterprises laboratory recovering from a massive hangover having drunk the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrik’s Gin which successfully brought him back from the dead for the 2nd time in two months.

Van Helsing was soon off another mission however.

This one with the ghost of Orson Welles.

Van Helsing and Welles were to use the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to travel back in time to the year 1953.

Apparently Whitstable’s contacts at NASA told him that the great mathematician Alan Turing (who had developed the computing machine that cracked the Enigma Nazi Code) had in 1953 developed a computer whose purpose was to pick up signals from extraterrestrial life forms in the universe.

The computer for whatever reason was hidden inside a jukebox on a table in the office of a Chelsea cafe.

And then disappeared mysteriously just as MI-5 agents raided the cafe.

Now it was believed to be in the home of a Havana Cuba based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike according to the visions of DARPA’s psychic lobster Van Gogh’s All Hearing Ear (who was a distant cousin of Set Enterprises’ psychic lobster Michelangelo).

When asked for his analysis, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster typing on his own waterproof laptop computer said that the Turing jukebox computer had been stolen in 1953 by the vampire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau.

Kohler had, according to Michelangelo, time traveled from this month and this year back to 1953 to steal the Turing jukebox computer just before MI-5 agents arrived at the Chelsea cafe to take control of the machine.

The solution was to send a time traveler back in time to grab the Turing jukebox computer before Kohler could do so.

Thus Van Helsing and Welles were on their way back to that Chelsea cafe in ’53.

Arriving on the scene, Van Helsing and Welles came face to face with:

Maria Orsic and The Turing Juke Box Computer

Maria Orsic was an immortal.

She was a medium who had been head of the German Vril Society.

Van Helsing had met her on a time traveling mission before when the vampire hunter had time traveled back to Washington DC in the late 1930s.

Welles’ ghost had recalled that Van Helsing had made out with Maria Orsic on that occasion.

“So, Van Helsing,” Maria Orsic smiled at him, “I suppose you’re hear to steal the Turing Jukebox Computer before the vampire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau arrives on the scene?”.

“I am,” Van Helsing nodded.

“But I think I better spank you first,” Maria produced a rather sturdy wooden hairbrush.

“I think you’re right,” Van Helsing started taking his clothes off.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost moaned as he buried his ghostly head in his ghostly hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 23rd
2021.

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