Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos As Renfield Takes Action Against Neo-Bolshevik Communists

August 11, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards one of his favourite Vietnamese restaurants to buy one of their delicious Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

Suddenly a thin ugly looking white stoat (one of three varieties of ugly looking white women who live in the City of Calgary) came walking down the sidewalk accompanied by her moronic looking son (who no doubt inherited his IQ from his father for marrying such an uglo).

Pan Goatee then beheaded both uglo mother and moronic looking son cutting them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

Goatee then entered the restaurant and ordered the Satay Beef Sub.

He was shortly joined by his new found friend the philosophical frog Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus ate the flies that were trying to land on Pan’s Satay Beef Sub (they too were attracted to the sub’s delicious flavour).

“Attractive looking waitresses who work here,” Marcus noted.

“Very,” Pan agreed, “I noticed from photos and video footage I’ve seen of Vietnam, you don’t see too many ugly looking women over there like you see in many cities in Western Canada.”

“I suspect it’s the influence of Harvard University approved Critical Gender Theory radical feminism here in the so-called Western democracies that’s made so many women quite repulsively ugly,” Marcus Amphibius lit his pipe and started smoking, “Over there in Vietnam, Communism is more of a Ho Chi Minh style Vietnamese nationalism rather than pure Marxism. As the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King pointed out back in the 1960s which is why he wanted the U.S. military to get out of Vietnam.”

“Very true,” Pan agreed, “And Ho Chi Minh’s vampiress granddaughter Ho Babylon Minh is a very beautiful vampiress. No uglo genes in the Minh family.”

“No, the senior Ho had very beautiful women in his harem,” the immortal frog Marcus Amphibius recalled.

Pan Goatee after finishing his sub went for a long walk.

He came upon a small strip mall.

The strip mall had an Atlantic Fish and Chips Restaurant which was notorious for having fat ugly blimps coming in and out of the place.

Sure enough a fat ugly blimp exited the place.

Goatee beheaded the blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

None of the black flies flying around bothered to attack the package of Fish and Chips lying on the ground.

They weren’t as good as Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

. . .

Disgraced former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was having a dream where he was tied up in a water filled dungeon.

Leeches surrounded him and began sucking his blood.

Dr. Anthony Fauci came by rowing on a raft.

“You really should be wearing a face mask a la CDC’s most recent recommendations,” Dr. Fauci put 666 face masks on Cuomo’s face and continued rowing.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Wednesday night podcast.

He covered the matter of Andrew Cuomo’s resignation.

Said Renfield,

“New York’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist Gov. and Apostle of The Antichrist Andrew Cuomo has resigned as Governor of New York amidst sexual harassment allegations.
The jackass who was awarded an Emmy (when it should have been an enema) last year by the brainless mainstream media for his performance during the 2020 Covid pandemic (which was quite literally a performance as he went from “Ventilators! We need more ventilators!” to “We’ve got so many ventilators now, they’re coming out of our ass!”) leaves his office in deserved disgrace.
One Neo-Bolshevik Communist and Apostle of the Antichrist down.
We’ve got several more thousands to go around the globe.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (who was called Saint Michelangelo the Underwater Revelator by the citizens of Australia) was listening to Renfield’s podcast on his waterproof laptop.

He heard Renfield say, “The Neo-Bolshevik Communist newspaper The Toronto Star is calling on Canada’s Justin Trudeau government to implement a national vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the newsroom of The Toronto Star.

He opened fire letting all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist editors and reporters have it as a group of mini skirted beauties behind Renfield sang the Steppenwolf song Born To Be Wild.

Renfield continued, “And in further news from Canada, the supposedly free enterprise Calgary Chamber of Commerce seems to be made up entirely of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinists and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazis as the assholes, airheads and bozos in that chamber have called for the Alberta government to implement a provincial vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the meeting room of the Calgary Chamber of Commerce and opening fire on all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazi businesspeople.

Tina Turner wearing a tight skirted mini dress emblazoned with Renfield’s picture on it then came out and sang to Renfield,

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met

I’m stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say…. ”


Tina Turner: Would one day sing for Renfield according to Michelangelo’s vision

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 11th
2021.

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Little Noticed Russian Ministry of Health Statement

April 8, 2021 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Another BBC News announcer had been shot and killed in the intermittent
warfare going on in the BBC news room between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolshevik Communists and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

If Chief Inspector Brackenreid of Murdoch Mysteries was alive today and even more importantly not a fictional character, he might put it this way, “It’s what Eric “Bloody” Blair wrote about in the Spanish Civil War all over again. The reason the Republican side lost the Spanish Civil War.”

Stalinist Republicans and Trotskyite Republicans spending more time killing one another than killing Gen. Franco’s Nationalists.

As such, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was stepping in once again to read the BBC News on behalf of yet another recently deceased announcer.

Adding his own personal flourish and commentary.

Said Renfield, “The interior of the 13th Century Gothic Saint Nicolas Collegiate Church in Avesnes-sur-Help, northern France, which sports a 60 metre tower, was destroyed by an April 5th fire. The building’s structure was not damaged although a historic altarpiece was lost in the flames.
Police took a man into custody who was seen on surveillance camera as the last person leaving the church before the fire broke out.
No word yet on whether the perpetrator was a mentally unhinged sex addict, a Muslim extremist or a White Supremacist with white privileges.”

Continuing on, Renfield read, “In other news, Archbishop Michel Aupetit of Paris had an escargot and cheese fondue cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity. Although a Harvey Wallbanger drinking altar boy claims that the perpetrator was a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.
The escargot and cheese fondue cream pieing took place a day after Archbishop Michel Aupetit had launched canonical proceedings against the traditionalist Tridentine Latin Mass priest Father Marc Guelfucci the parish priest of St. Eugene et St. Cecile Church in Paris for not worshipping the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus Scamdemic during last weekend’s Holy Saturday Easter Eve vigil.”

Meanwhile American President Joe Biden, who had tripped and fallen 72 times during his walk from the Oval Office door to his Oval Office desk, asked one of his aides, “What’s this Poseidon 2M39 torpedo?”.

His aide replied, “It’s Russia’s new superweapon. An unmanned stealth torpedo that can evade coastal defences by travelling along the sea floor.”

“Do we have one of those?” Biden asked as his fingers fell 33 times on his desk trying to reach for a pen.

“No, it’s like the Keystone Pipeline,” his aide answered, “Environmentally unsafe.”

“Good thing we don’t have it then,” Biden inhaled his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia’s exhaled cactus pot smoke.

And while all this was happening, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was talking to Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) via Skype.

“Did you hear about the Russian Ministry of Health Report released today?” Whitstable asked.

“No, what did it say?” Van Helsing inquired.

“Well, Russia acted against WHO regulations and dissected a group of Covid-19 patients,” Whitstable pointed out.

“Wait, are you saying WHO doesn’t allow autopsies to be performed on people who are supposed to have died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing wanted to know.

“That’s right,” Whitstable nodded.

“Then how do they know they actually died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing asked.

Whitstable shrugged, “Anyways, they discovered that those people they dissected didn’t die from a virus. They died from extended radiation poisoned bacteria.”

“Extended radiation poisoned bacteria?” Van Helsing had never even heard of such a dystopian sci-fi term, “That sounds like something produced in a Xi Jinping approved CCP science experiment.”

“Which is probably what it is,” Whitstable admitted, “Anyways these extended radiation poisoned bacteria lead to the formation of blood clots in veins and nerves. Anyways with these blood clots in the veins and nerves, the brain, lungs and heart cannot properly oxygenate which makes it difficult for people to breathe and people die quickly with lack of breathing energy.”

“Would this phenomenon be true of all Covid-19 patients?” Van Helsing asked, “And isn’t bacteria dfferent from a virus? And if the Russian autopsies (which the CCP stooge and puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus asked people not to perform) are accurate, it sounds like what we’re dealing with here is definitely a man-made phenomenon and not some disease caused by a virus jumping from one species to another.”

“That would be my conclusion as well,” Whitstable nodded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 8th
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger Takes On Europe’s Totalitarian Despots

February 26, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden has ordered his first military airstrike on Syria which was carried out earlier today.
For all those lib-leftists out there who thought Joe Biden wasn’t going to be a warmonger (or thought he wouldn’t detain immigrant children in detention camps), they were of course invariably wrong as anyone with common sense could have easily told them.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

“Liberalism is the modern and morbid habit of always sacrificing the normal to the abnormal.”
-G.K. Chesterton

“The New Normal that most politicians, technocrats and Satan worshipping billionaires and bishops are always yapping about for the post-pandemic world is actually the Old Abnormal.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster were at Set Enterprises laboratories in London flipping through various news channels on the TV.

The first news segment showed German Chancellor Angela Merkel saying that there was unanimous agreement within the European Union on implementing a coronavirus vaccine passport.

Ms. Merkel announced that “everyone agreed that we need a digital vaccination certificate” and that such a system could be implemented by summer.

As Ms. Merkel spoke, an Adolf Hitler style moustache appeared just below her nose and just above her lips.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on her forehead written in red and black ink.

Seconds later a cream pie was thrown in her face.

The second news segment came on.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that EU member states will “have to act fast” in order to implement a digital vaccine certification program as soon as the summer.

The certificate will facilitate travel as well as the ability to attend churches, synagogues, theatres, concert halls or even to go to the gym.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on Ms. von der Leyen’s forehead written in red ink.

Seconds later, a cream pie was thrown in her face.

Greece’s Deputy Prime Minister Akis Skertsos then appeared on the TV screen and said that a vaccine passport verification system “is not discriminatory at all”.

The words I AM THE BIGGEST OF SATAN’S USEFUL IDIOTS then appeared written in Greek in green felt ink on his forehead.

Seconds later a souvlaki cream pie was thrown in his face.

British Education Secretary Gavin Williamson then appeared on the TV screen saying that he backed up the plan to carry passports to enter restaurants, cinemas and theatres.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared in red ink written on his forehead.

Seconds later a cream pie containing a school report card loaded with F’s for each subject was then thrown in his face.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson then appeared on the TV screen.

Hanging from one of his long scraggly locks of hair over his right ear was a thorougly eaten fried chicken drum stick (from a rooster who was sacrificed in a live Santeria animal sacrifice).

Johnson said that Brits might definitely require health passports for simple domestic visits like going to the pub or theatre.

Johnson, who had the sign KICK ME posted on his backside by the ghost of Winston Churchill, then went on, “I know fervent libertarians will object but other people will think that there is a case for it.”

The ghosts of Adolf Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the two deceased members of the North Korean Kim Communist hereditary dynasty appeared behind Johnson smiling and applauding vigourously.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST AND MY HAIRSTYLIST RESIDES IN HELL appeared written in black ink on Boris Johnson’s forehead.

Seconds later a banana cream steak and kidney pie containing hair gel and a comb were then thrown in Johnson’s face.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 26th
2021

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Living In A Neo-Bolshevik World

September 4, 2020 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was once again talking to his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

“So,” Renfield sipped a rum and coke, “I see the Portland Oregon anarcho-Marxist thug and hooligan Michael Reinoehl who shot and killed a man in Portland Oregon last weekend was himself shot and killed by sheriff’s officers in the town of Lacey, Washington 120 miles north of Portland. There were reports that Reinoehl was hit by anywhere from 30 to 40 bullets. I guess the 4 officers who fired their guns must have felt a little behind in their target practice time and decided to make up for it.”

“Shot anywhere from 30 to 40 times?” Amadeus sipped his tea.

“Yes as Robin the Boy Wonder might have put it – Unholy holey corpse, Batman!” Renfield ate a tuna fish sandwich, “Hopefully they’ll remember to bury him face downwards so he can see where he’s going.”

“Is it true that Joe Biden recently praised Reinoehl?” Amadeus ate a doughnut.

“Yes, the man’s senility knows no bounds,” Renfield ate some pickled asparagus, “The whole political situation in the U.S. looks like a build-up to a Civil War as Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and I have been saying for months.”

“I hear the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. is now referring to the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans as “peaceful rioters”,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, the legalization of marijuana in various U.S. states has certainly expanded the use of idiotic terminology among that country’s journalists,” Renfield answered, “Although our BBC Communist correspondents on USA affairs are doing their best to catch up by referring to the Portland rioters as anti-racism protestors. If the whole Western world mainstream Marxist media narrative on these events is to be believed, the only anti-racists in America are anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who burn, loot and murder.”

“What’s the situation in Britain and Europe?” Amadeus asked Renfield as behind the Australian quarantined British concert pianist, a group of machine gun toting kangaroos and koala bears (specially trained by an old war buddy of Uncle Ernie) shot and killed a group of Australian government commandos who were launching a raid on the property since the koala bears and kangaroos were not wearing masks nor were they practicing social distancing.

“Well, the mainstream Marxist media here in Britain and Europe have had their panties in a knot since so many people joined in protests against government draconian measures in Berlin, Germany last weekend where Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke,” Renfield explained, “Since Communists are only capable of describing people who disagree with them as Fascist (Churchill’s ghost told me that he once beaned Josef Stalin over the head with a vodka bottle when he Stalin did that to Churchill), they referred to the protestors as “far right” and “covid deniers”. When in reality, the vast majority of them are people who are just fed up with politicians acting like totalitarians and despots. When this thing began 6 months ago, we were told to stay in place until the curve was flattened and prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed. Well the curve has been flattened and hospitals are not being overwhelmed. Now the same group of despotic bozos who are our political leaders are telling us to stay in place until a vaccine is found. Yet these same political elites don’t apply the same rule to themselves. Nancy Pelosi wanders around a hairstyling salon without a mask on although now she’s claiming (as small children point and tell her that her pants are on fire) that she was deliberately set up. The mayor of Philadelphia (who has forbidden restaurants in Philadelphia to open) is himself seen eating in a restaurant in Baltimore Maryland where restaurants are allowed to open. The politicians expect the plebs to follow their dictates even as they flaunt the rules themselves.”

“That’s quite something,” Amadeus looked out the back window where a group of kangaroos and koalas were beating up the Premier of Australia’s Victoria state.

“Yes, another thing different about this year of 2020,” Renfield lit a cigar, “In previous times the press used to be a beacon of liberty. Today the mainstream Marxist media in the Western world is the biggest journalistic enemy of freedom in all recorded history. And anything they say or write should be taken with a thousand grains of salt.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 4th
2020.

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Pachamama In California

August 29, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“Governments love pandemics for the same reason they love wars.
Because then they’re able to exert areas of control over the population that the population would not be able to accept in any other time.”

-Robert F. Kennedy Jr. , Berlin Germany August 29th 2020

“Well I see the Neo-Bolshevik and Neo-Menshevik Marxist bozos at the New York Times and The Washington Post are calling Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (the son of assassinated New York Sen. Bobby Kennedy and the nephew of assassinated U.S. President John F. Kennedy) a Nazi who will be addressing Nazis in Berlin today,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield mentioned to his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“What’s that all about?” Amadeus asked Renfield.

“They’re having a protest in Berlin today against the draconian measures the German government have enacted against its population in the wake of the Chinese Communist Party Wuhan virus and Bobby Kennedy Jr. is addressing them at the demonstration,” Renfield noted, “Naturally the Commies at the New York Times and The Washington Post love the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus because along with Pope Francis, Bill Gates and George Soros, they believe the draconian measures enacted in the name of the virus will bring about a Marxist-Leninist One World Government. Since Bobby Kennedy is raining on their pandemic totalitarian parade today, the NY Times and The Wa Post are accusing him of being a Nazi. Communists always have the habit of calling anyone who disagrees with them a Nazi.”

“What else did Bobby say?” Amadeus inquired.

“That 5G networks and a digital currency are all about control, it’s not about benefitting you the ordinary person,” Renfield answered, “Because as Mr. Kennedy pointed out, once a government is able to control your bank account, they’re able to control you.”

“That’s true,” Amadeus nodded.

“And then Mr. Kennedy also attacked government “health experts” who at the same time have a vested interest and tie in with Big Pharma- global pharmaceutical corporations,” Renfield read from the rest of the Kennedy speech delivered in Berlin today.

“Who did he have in mind there?” Amadeus scratched his chin.

“Let us call one such government “health expert”… Dr. Anthony Fauci,” Renfield replied in Seinfeldian rabbi fashion.

. . .

Senility prone Joe Biden was once again sitting in his Delaware home basement and smelling the cannabis smoke exhaled by his pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia.

“Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing…” Joe inhaled before falling asleep.

Biden had a dream where a large snake who had woman’s hair on its head was coiling itself around Biden and squeezing the living daylights out of him.

“Who was that snake with woman’s hair?” Biden asked a masked man with a Texas ranger’s star riding a white horse called Silver in the basement as he awakened.

In the background, Rossini’s William Tell Overture was playing on the radio.

. . .


The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama in California

Pachamama sat on an old retaining wall not far from a tree.

She was starting to regret having all those tattoos put on her in a San Francisco tattoo shop after having had 666 too many lime margaritas.

Oh well, fortunately for her, there was a natural spring in the Peruvian Andes that had the ability to wash off tattoos.

She was soon joined by the flaming disembodied head of Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

“So, what have you been up to?” Pachamama asked Teilhard.

“I’ve been starting a whole bunch more of those California wildfires with the flaming hairs on my head,” Teilhard chortled like Bill Gates playing Dr. Victor Frankenstein after he had created the monster.

“That’s nice,” Pachamama smiled like the cat who ate the canary, “As for myself, I’m planning to take a walk along the San Andreas fault.”

She got up to do just that.

Teilhard’s flaming head lay back on the grass where he started a small grassfire and he thought to himself, “The Inca goddess in charge of earthquakes taking a walk along the San Andreas fault. That should prove interesting.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 29th
2020.

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Renfield Discusses The Merger of Marxism and Spiritist Necromancy

August 28, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing some of this week’s past events with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“Well as senility prone Joe Biden is in his basement at his Delaware home talking to his pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia about how he doesn’t need to take a cognitive test while the mainstream Marxist oriented news media in the U.S. and Canada is busy singing his praises, the ghost of Orson Welles is in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s basement wine cellar drinking barrels of ghostly spectral red wine and weeping over the fact that his birthplace of Kenosha Wisconsin is undergoing burning, rioting and looting by anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans urged on by Neo-Bolshevik agitators.”

“What’s the difference between ghosts and the entities who are summoned in seances, spiritist channeling and necromancy?” Amadeus asked.

“Well from talking to your friend the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Church of England’s leading exorcist on the subject,” Renfield answered, “a ghost is a spirit of an actual deceased person who for reasons known only to God is allowed to roam on the earth in places that are often referred to by mortals as being haunted. A ghost is also a spirit of a deceased person occasionally allowed to leave Purgatory for occasional short periods of time as William Shakespeare noted about the ghost of Hamlet’s father in his play Hamlet and as Charles Dickens noted about the ghost of Jacob Marley in his 1843 novella A Christmas Carol. And then for whatever reason, the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill have been allowed to leave Purgatory the past couple of years where they’ve spent a great deal of time hanging around my parliamentary office and the vampire Set’s estate as well as various other places.”

“What about the entities who are summoned in seances, spiritist channeling and necromancy?” Amadeus asked.

“They are for the most part demons only posing as spirits of the dead which is why the Book of Deuteronomy Chapter 18 forbade the ancient Israelites from engaging in the practice of necromancy or summoning spirits,” Renfield explained, “although there was one notable exception when God actually allowed the spirit of Samuel to leave Sheol (that shadowy realm of the dead that the ancient Greeks called Hades and the ancient Norse called Hel) and appeared to King Saul to talk to him much to the surprise of the witch of Endor who had summoned him and was expecting a deceiving spirit or demon to appear and not the real Samuel’s ghost.”

“So that’s the difference,” Amadeus nodded, “A ghost is a spirit of an actually deceased person who remains behind on earth after death and haunts a certain place or else the spirit of an actually deceased person who’s allowed to leave Purgatory on occasion while an entity summoned in a seance, spiritist channeling or necromancy is usually a deceiving demon just posing as and pretending to be the spirit of an actually deceased person.”

Renfield nodded, “That’s right.”

Amadeus then said, “What got me curious was the email you sent me before we went on to Skype asking the question can a Marxist be a spiritist necromancer?”.

“And we’ll get in to that later,” Renfield sipped a bottle of Coca-Cola, “what I noticed about the Kenosha riots is that in this set of looting and burning riots (that the brainless mainstream media always calls “peaceful protests” although they’ve now invented the Orwellian Doublespeak Newspeak misnomer “peaceful clashes” for the Kenosha riots- a contradiction in terms if there ever was one), a couple of anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans found themselves being shot and killed no doubt much to their surprise. It really shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. If you’re going to go around rioting, looting and burning all the time, don’t be surprised if people start getting pissed off and start shooting you.”

“Do you think the new trend of shooting rioters and looters will continue?” Amadeus inquired.

“I think it will,” Renfield nodded.

“So what did you think of Pope Francis’ weekly Wednesday audience address this past August 26th?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“The one where he all but called for a One World Marxist-Leninist global government?” Renfield poured a Josef Stalin autographed bottle of 1940s Russian vodka into the same garbage can where Claude Rains as Captain Louis Renault had poured a bottle of Vichy Water in the 1942 film Casablanca, “He’s finally shown the last of his true colours. The Virgin Mary had told the three shepherd children at Fatima in the words of the Third Secret that Satan would infiltrate to the very top of the Catholic Church and he has. Or at least a willing puppet has. Pope Francis comes across as being too intellectually challenged and dim witted at times to be actually possessed by that most intelligent of Archangels- Lucifer.”

“Pope Francis is sort of an ecclesiastical Joe Biden?” Amadeus took a look at a dumbell that a weightlifter had recently dropped on the floor.

“Or Joe Biden is an American political equivalent of Pope Francis,” Renfield nodded, “Then yesterday August 27th the World Council of Churches joined with the Vatican in issuing a joint statement all but calling for the creation of a Marxist-Leninist One World Government.”

“So all the Red chickens are coming home to roost?” Amadeus ate a well roasted and devilshly hot piece of chicken wings.

“They are,” Renfield added some rum to his glass of Coke, “so what’s your answer to my question that I emailed you? Can a Marxist be a spiritist necromancer?”.

“Well I always thought a Marxist was supposed to be a militant atheist,” Amadeus answered, “so how can they possibly engage in a supernatural form of witchcraft such as spiritist necromancy?”.

“That was always my opinion,” Renfield agreed, “But as you know the three women who started the Black Lives Movement organization are all admitted Marxists. As you know on the BLM About page, their stated goal is the creation of a Marxist state where both the nuclear family and fatherhood are done away with and children are raised by the state. So I thought being Marxists, they’d be good militant atheists as well. But then the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit came across a Zoom interface video that two of the founders had with each other.”

“And what does that video show?” Amadeus inquired.

“One of the founders says she summons the spirits of those black people who have died in police custody or at the hands of police to come to her and they apparently come,” Renfield added some more rum to his drink.

“Really?” Amadeus put down his slice of lemon meringue pie.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “One of the BLM founders says that she often laughs with Wakiesha in her room. They have many a laugh together. Wakiesha Wilson is the name of a young lady who died in police custody in 2016.”

“So the BLM Marxist founders say they can summon ghosts?” Amadeus was flabbergasted, “But the deliberate summoning forth of ghosts by mortals is necromancy which is a form of witchcraft and is condemned in Deuteronomy Chapter 18? Namely because the spirit being summoned is usually a demon posing as the ghost of a deceased person?”.

“Yep,” Renfield went on, “So all these professional athletes who wear BLACK LIVES MATTER on their shirts, when they bow and kneel, what type of invisible entities are walking by when they bow and kneel?”.


Semiramis the Queen of Ancient Babylon wonders: Will anyone invoke and summon her?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 28th
2020.

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Renfield, Baal and Baphomet Professional Sports and A Communist Scientologist

August 3, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“Mr. Renfield,” the BBC interviewer inquired of the British MP, “how would you describe yourself?”.

“As an altruistic empathetic narcissist,” Renfield answered.

The remark sent professional psychologists and psychiatrists and students of psychology all over the world scrambling for their textbooks and dictionaries to look up the meaning of this particular personality type.

Mental breakdowns were universal when they discovered the term wasn’t listed, classified or defined.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was sitting in his office looking at photos of competing NBA and MLB teams all linking arms and kneeling in front of BLACK LIVES MATTER logos while the U.S. National anthem was being played.

Whitstable had received a dossier from the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit documenting how the Black Lives Matter organization was a Communist organization founded by 3 Communist lesbians whose stated goals were a Marxist society and the destruction of both fatherhood and the nuclear family.

Whitstable then looked at a videotape of both ceremonies as recorded by an Interpol agent using a Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens.

In both ceremonies as the overpaid athletes knelt to show their “wokeness” (Being “woke” in the 21st Century meant that one had turned into a living dead brain dead zombie according to Renfield R. Renfield’s definition of the word), the demons Baal and Baphomet walked by although unseen by the human eye but not by the eye of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens.

Thus the overpaid athletes were bending the knee to the demons Baal and Baphomet in what looked to be an act of fealty and homage.

In this, they were boldly or maybe mincingly following in the footsteps of Rep. Nancy Pelosi who had done the same a couple of months earlier where the demons Baal and Baphomet were also picked up by the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens as Rep. Pelosi and her fellow Congressional Useful Idiots For The Devil Democrats bent the knee in an act of fealty and homage to the two demons.

Although the overpaid athletes were able to get back up again after bending the knee.

The same could not be said for the House of Representatives Speaker who had to be helped up by a Congressional aide as Ms. Pelosi did a very bad impersonation of the lady in the famous Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up TV commercials for Lifeline back in the 1980s.

. . .

Meanwhile as the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod sat at a milkshake bar in Los Angeles, they were discussing the fact that Rep. Karen Bass of California had emerged as the number one contender to become Joe Biden’s Vice-Presidential running mate.

“Do you suppose Joe Biden is really going to name a Communist Scientologist as his running mate?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus.

“Well if you’ve got a Communist Pope in the Vatican, why not a Communist Scientologist in the White House?” Asmodeus shrugged.

It just so happened that down in the fires of Tartarus, Karl Marx the Father of Communism was roasting away on a barbeque spit right next to the barbeque spit where science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard the founder of the Church of Scientology was busy roasting away.

Marx and Hubbard briefly wept tears of joy upon hearing the news before resuming screaming for the rest of eternity.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 3rd
2020.

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Renfield Meets Marmalade Montague

May 7, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Marmalade Montague

Dr. Marmalade Montague the former Paris baker who now thought he was the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze sat in an arm chair about 20 feet across from British MP Renfield R. Renfield in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“So, you got caught in a time warp and ended up in Paris in the year 2020?” Renfield sipped his martini, “I’d ask for your money back from your time travel tour guide if I was you. You picked a rather shitty time to arrive in.”

“Still I may be able to find a possible vaccine for this Covid-19 virus,” Dr. Montague powdered his silver haired wig.

“Well, you’ve got a better chance at it than Bill Gates does,” Renfield had to admit.

“So, everything is under lockdown across the globe,” Dr. Montague looked at the globe of the world next to his chair which was currently in a vise held in the clenched mouth of a statue of the ancient Canaanite god Moloch.

“Yes, a certain variety of infectious diseases health expert is the very model of the current technocratic elite across the world,” Renfield explained, “Ever since Plato wrote his Republic, people in various fields of specialization thought of themselves as a particular age’s philosopher-kings. It varied from century to century. And decade to decade. This decade has started out with the infectious diseases health expert because of this Covid-19 virus.”

“From your tone of voice, I take it there are side effects to having this type of specialist as the world’s technocratic elite?” Dr. Montague inquired.

“The first side effect was to turn various elected officials across the world into instantaneous Fascists or Communists,” Renfield opened a Budweiser, “This is particularly true in the United States of America which has turned most of that nation’s Democratic Party leadership into raging Communist tyrants. Although that has always lain just beneath the surface of most Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. for the past 40 years. This pandemic has just brought that inherent Bolshevik or Menshivik plague deep within each U.S. Democrat to the surface. This spawn of Hell virus has only encouraged the likes of Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia’s scumbag Governor Ralph Northam, California Gov. Gavin Newsom and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to embrace their Inner Josef Stalin and Inner Mao Tse-tung (to use Oprahesque New Age terminology) and arrest people for not wearing masks or arrest people for being Christians or Orthodox Jews. The innate militant atheist Bolshevism of most 21st Century U.S. Democrats is definitely coming to the surface there. City council in Kansas City, Missouri is demanding that churches hand over to City Hall the name and address of every person who attends a church service. It will soon become exceedingly difficult for anyone to be able to sing those Star-Spangled Banner lyrics “the land of the free” with a straight face.”

Athelstan (the butler and valet to Set) entered the living room wearing a World War I gas mask and announced that the guest bedroom had been turned into a Louis XIV era bedroom and was now ready for Dr. Marmalade Montague.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 7th
2020.

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