Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

September 22, 2019 at 11:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman was in New York City.

The Sheriff wasn’t quite sure what he was doing in the Big Apple.

The dining room chef ordered Jackman out of the huge fruit salad that he was making.

Sheriff Stonedwall beat a hasty retreat.

All Jackman could remember was that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had sent him to NYC on a matter of important national security.

Only the Sheriff couldn’t remember what that important matter of national security was.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman had led an interesting life.

He had been born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada on Friday May 10th 1940 the same day that Winston Churchill had become Prime Minister of Great Britain.

His girlfriend the love of his life had broken up with him on Dominion Day (as it was then called) July 1st 1967 on the Main Street of Moose Jaw when he accidentally ran over her Love Bug Volkswagen with his farm tractor while looking for a place to park.

Furious, she had shoved his engagement ring in the place where the sun never shone.

Moose Jaw which wasn’t big enough to have a practicing proctologist in the city saw Thomas Jonathan Jackman buy a Greyhound Bus ticket to the Big City.

It turns out the Big City that Thomas Jonathan Jackman had bought a Greyhound bus ticket to was Vancouver, British Columbia on Canada’s West Coast.

Just as the U.S. Summer of Love (Summer of ’67) was about to begin in San Francisco, California so Canada’s Summer of Love was about to begin on British Columbia’s Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island.

Eating a dozen pieces of rhubarb pie during a Greyhound bus pit stop at a diner in Chilliwack British Columbia had cured Jackman’s need of finding a proctologist in downtown Vancouver.

And Thomas Jonathan Jackman found himself celebrating U.S. Independence Day of 1967 by smoking weed and inhaling chemicals with a group of hippies on Vancouver’s East Hastings Street.

Somehow by July 6th 1967 (the 20th Anniversary of the alleged Roswell New Mexico UFO space craft crash), Jackman had found himself in the Village of Calypso’s Bosom which was a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula not far from the town of Sechelt itself.

On July 22nd of that year 1967, Thomas Jonathan Jackman had earned his name Stonedwall when he hit his head against a brick wall in the village while stoned.

No one was quite sure how the brick wall got there but according to the village’s visionary and prophet (who was later carried off by a pterodactyl on Christmas Day of that same year), the slab of brick wall had come from the future and was the inaugural piece of some wall that had been officially inaugurated on the U.S. – Mexico border by some golden urine hair coloured toupee wearing bozo named Donald Trump sometime in the early 2020s according to the said visionary’s visions.

The piece of wall was later destroyed when a cloud had rained several thousand tons of Mexican tamales from heaven.

On August 1st Lammas Night of 1967, after the character of the Devil from a future Susan Howatch novel had appeared to villagers, Thomas Jonathan “Stonedwall” Jackman was elected Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom.

Not of course that the laws of Her Majesty Elizabeth II Queen of Canada were ever enforced in the village of Calypso’s Bosom as the primary diet consisted of marijuana (whose use was then illegal in Canada) as well as various chemical substances (whose use was still illegal today).

1967 soon became 1968 and 1968 soon became 1969 and all the years became blended into one like Lonesome Charlie’s blended milkshake of frogs and tequila (which drained a nearby swamp of its frog population and a nearby BC Government Liquor Store of its tequila products) which no one but Lonesome Charlie drank (thus earning him the epithet Lonesome Charlie).

Everything changed for the village of Calypso’s Bosom on the evening of July 20th/21st 1969 when all the villagers had assembled in the Village Square in front of the village’s communal black and white television set to watch the Apollo 11 moon landing.

When Neil Armstrong walked down the ladder of the lunar module and spoke these words, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for….” the TV went off, all the village lights went off and the entire village of Calypso’s Bosom vanished into oblivion.

It would re-emerge again once every 7 years much like the Scottish village of Brigadoon rises out of the Scottish mist once every 100 years, so too does the Sechelt Peninsula New Age Aquarian hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom emerge out of the marijuana haze once every 7 years.

Disappearing in 1969, it had re-emerged in 1976 and had watched a peanut farmer win the U.S. Democratic Presidential nomination.

7 years later in 1983, it watched the height of the Cold War as a former head of the KGB Yuri Andropov had become the head of the Soviet Union.

In 1990, it again re-emerged (not always on the exact anniversary of its disappearance) and watched George H.W. Bush give a speech proclaiming a New World Order in response to Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait.

In 1997, they watched Bill Clinton “not” having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky as an Oval Office broadcast was transmitted to their communal black and white TV screen by a Jeffrey Epstein owned satellite.

In 2004, they watched John Kerry reporting for duty at the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential Convention.

In 2011, they watched the Arab Spring unfold before it turned into a radical militant Islamist Winter.

In 2018, they watched Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou being arrested at Vancouver International Airport on the orders of the U.S. government.

The period of rest for Calypso’s Bosom was interrupted by Chinese government agents bringing a pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever to the village and a few months later, the same Chinese government agents were again interrupting the village’s sleep by seizing the pot smoking desert cactus plant and taking it to a government re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of western China.

During that last interruption, Sheriff Stonewalled Jackman had foolishly left the commune of Calypso’s Village to take a swim on the beach at the town of Sechelt.

By the time he returned minus both his towel and his swimming trunks, the village had disappeared into the surrounding marijuana haze again.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman then got a job in charge of airport security at Victoria Airport on Vancouver Island (Sheriff Jackman was hired because he looked much younger than his age since he had had so many 7 year periods of rest).

It was there this past September 12th that a robot had driven the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Bus into the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Plane.

After a conversation with an intelligent squirrel at the Airport, Sheriff Jackman had discovered that the robot had been built by an electronics firm in Shanghai China that was owned by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh who were both intelligence operatives for the Beijing government and the two intelligence operatives responsible for the butchering of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

That, Sheriff Jackman suspected, as he emerged from the depths of the fruit salad he was in in the New York City hotel kitchen, had something to do with the national security matter that Canada’s Justin Trudeau had sent him on.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu releasing photographs of Justin Trudeau wearing blackface and brownface.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu being at the opening of the UN General Assembly this week.

But that was about all he remembered.

He hoped he ran into that intelligent squirrel again who would explain everything to him.

He went back to his hotel room and opened a package that said Uncle Ernie’s Chemical of The Day Club (as opposed to Book of the Month Club) that bore an Australian post mark.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman inhaled the contents of the package and began singing,

“Fly little white dove fly 
way up high
Spread your wings
Sing out your cry 
across the universal sky…”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday September 22nd 
2019.


Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman encounters a pair of conspirators from the year 1944 as he sings about little white doves flying high and singing out their cry across the universal sky.

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Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

September 12, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

Pan Goatee was walking across the street when a man and his German shepherd dog happened to walk by.

The dog kept staring at Pan Goatee.

Finally Goatee said to the dog’s owner, “Doesn’t your dog know it’s not proper etiquette to stare?”.

Whereupon he beheaded both the German shepherd and its owner.

A little further down the street came an ugly looking woman riding a bicycle.

“What is it about autumn that seems to bring out ugly looking women on bicycles?” Goatee thought to himself.

The woman looked like she had stuck all her fingers and all her toes in an electric socket as her hair style seemed to resemble that of the Bride of Frankenstein on a bad (as opposed to her usually good) hair day.

“Good-bye, uglo,” Goatee commented as he beheaded her.

. . .

“What do you think of my naming Kermit the Frog as my national security advisor?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington, “Do you think that I should give old Kermy a call?”.

“A most inspired choice,” Lexington admitted.

. . .

Meanwhile on the second day of the Canadian Federal election campaign, a Liberal Party campaign bus had struck and clipped the wing of the Liberal Party campaign plane on the airport tarmac outside Victoria, British Columbia.

After an investigation conducted by the Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom (a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula that was analogous to Scotland’s Village of Brigadoon although the hippy commune appeared once every 7 years instead of once every 100 like the mythical Scottish village) who was in charge of Airport Security, it was determined that the driver of the bus was a robot built and assembled by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh Computer Electronics in Shanghai, China.

Of course the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were both Beijing government intelligence operatives believed to have been involved in the cactusnapping, torture and subsequent murder of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in retaliation for the U.S. ordered Vancouver arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou. 

A spokesman for the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa issued a statement, “The People’s Republic of China can neither confirm nor deny that it is seeking to bump off Justin Trudeau.”

Later that day, Justin Trudeau came down with food poisoning in Edmonton after eating at Ho-Ho’s Chinese Food on the University of Alberta campus.

. . .

The Egyptian god Anubis was out walking the streets of London at night when he happened to run into British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

“Evening, Anubis,” Johnson greeted him in Ancient Greek seeing as how he had been a Classics scholar at Oxford, “How are you? Tell me, why is it these days (and nights) that you’re now sporting a metallic cyborg jackal head when you used to have an actual real animal jackal head?”.

“Well, a few years ago, I was beheaded by Pan Goatee when I happened to look at him the wrong way,” Anubis explained, “and of course being immortal, I didn’t die when I was beheaded. But it just so happened that an overly frisky Dobermann ran off with my jackal head that night and I was unable to get it back. So Dr. Cadbury Rocher from my dad’s research and development firm Set Enterprises kindly built this new metallic cyborg jackal head for me.”

“Jolly decent of him,” Johnson answered in Ciceronian Latin.

“Tell me,” Anubis asked Johnson in koine Greek, “why do you feel it’s imperative that Britain leave the EU with or without a deal on Halloween?”.

“Well,” Johnson replied in ancient Carthaginian, “the demons Baal and Baphomet have commissioned a Vatican Cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman to say the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this Halloween on the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border which will forever enslave all of Britain to the Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis European Union that George Soros, Pope Francis and the Rothschilds are seeking to build.”

“Wow, what a bummer,” Anubis started having flashbacks of what the overly frisky Dobermann did to his jackal head that night.

“Yes, quite the shitty situation,” Johnson recited in 21st Century contemporary English prose.

. . .

“So,” Russian President Vladimir Putin asked his guest Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Moscow, “can you tell me if it’s true that this coming September 25th 2019 (which is the 5780th anniversary of the day that Jewish tradition holds that the world was created) that the Israeli Sanhedrin has invited the Organization of 70 Nations to perform an animal sacrifice on the Mount of Olives to renew the Noahide Covenant?”.

“The government of Israel can neither confirm nor deny that,” Netanyahu answered.

“Can you tell me if it’s true,” Putin then asked, “what it said in that article in Politico magazine that Israel has been spying on the U.S. in a StingRay operation ever since Donald Trump moved into the White House?”.

“That is a blatant lie,” Netanyahu wagged his finger, “the Israeli government does not spy on nor engage in intelligence operations in the U.S.!”.

Putin looked out the window of his office where he noticed a Jeffraken (a Kraken with the head of Jeffrey Epstein) walking down the street waving an American flag and carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag.

“Why did your nose grow bigger after you made that statement?” Putin asked.

“My nose did not grow bigger,” Netanyahu started to protest until he looked at himself in the mirror, “Oh shit, it did.”

Netanyahu knew he couldn’t hit the Israeli campaign trail this weekend looking like a Disney cartoon character wooden puppet who gets his advice from a cricket.

The Israeli Prime Minister put in a hasty call to the Doctor Faberge Rachmaninoff Plastic Surgery Clinic in Moscow.

. . .

In Hong Kong, British MI-6 Operative Lili Marlene sat in a Hong Kong lounge next to a large marble head of the immortal princess Kwan Yin (who was venerated as the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy by some groups of Buddhists):

Lili Marlene was a French woman and so used to work for France’s external intelligence agency the DGSE.

However last year, French President Emmanuel Macron had made a pass at Lili Marlene’s mother at a Parisienne cocktail party.

Within 24 hours, an angry Lili Marlene had defected to Britain’s MI-6.

Today she was in Hong Kong keeping tabs on the supernatural power struggle between the ancient Great Old One Cthulhu and the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 12th
2019.

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Renfield Wears A T-Shirt and Signs Autographs

February 10, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was the man of the hour in Britain after his successful appearance on a special PBS episode of Firing Line in which the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewed the MP.

Militant atheist Richard Dawkins (after an appearance in which he publicly burnt his jock strap that had on it a picture of Michelangelo’s Jehovah creating Adam as depicted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel) issued a statement, “I have to admit I was impressed by the seeming authenticity of the show. It does look like an episode of Firing Line that would have been directed by Orson Welles had Mr. Welles ever directed an episode of Firing Line. And Buckley’s ghost does come across like Buckley’s ghost would if he ever did a posthumous interview as the interviewer. But as every person who has absorbed my intelligent insight and analysis of the cosmos knows, “There are no ghosts or vampires or mythological beings in actual existence. There is no Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. And there’s definitely no God.”

“I say,” Amadeus Emanon spoke to his girlfriend Angelique Dumont as he ate some popcorn and watched Dawkins on television, “If Dawkins as a militant atheist is burning his jockstrap with a picture of Michelangelo’s Creating Adam on it in imitation of the militant feminists of the late 1960s publicly burning their bras, now my knowledge of history might be somewhat misty but didn’t the militant feminists of the late 1960s at least take their bras off first?”.

“Oh shit,” Dawkins could be heard screaming as someone rushed forward with a fire extinguisher to extinguish his smouldering jockstrap.

“Maybe Dawkins will compose an atheist hymn with the lyrics Nearer My Jockstrap To Thee,” Renfield remarked as he signed autographs from adoring fans and wore a t-shirt that said,

GILLETTE:
The Fruitiest A Man Can Get.

Meanwhile American Catholic bishops and their priestly advisors were packing Gillette shaving products in their suitcases as they headed off to Rome for The Vatican Special Meeting On Predatory Pederast Priests.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau looked at the RCMP report in front of him.

The report detailed the investigation into the abduction of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s personal pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who had been kidnapped by the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu) last December and would only be released when Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was released fully from custody and not extradited to the U.S.

Justin missed his little cannabis pot smoking greenhouse buddy with the prickly needles and his whacky weedy smile.

But the RCMP were unable to find the lost 1960s hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom on the Canadian West Coast’s Sechelt Peninsula where the marijuana smoking desert plant was being held.

Seeing as how the commune was an Age of Aquarius New Age equivalent of Scotland’s mythical mystical village of Brigadoon, that was no surprise.

. . .


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon to her date Dracul Van Helsing before going out: How do you like my high heeled shoes, Dracul darling?
The better to crush my ex-husband Nimrod the little green frog with, don’t you think?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 10th
2019.

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