Ragnarok Approacheth

November 8, 2020 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I’d like to thank all the dead voters who helped me win this election…”
-Joe Biden in a special recorded message to residents of cemeteries.

“When the Norse god of thunder accidentally hit his thumb with his hammer Mjolnir once, his thumb was mighty Thor.”
-The Norse trickster god Loki

“If you were to take all the veins and arteries in your body and line them up from end to end, you’d be dead.”
-Dr. Marmalade Montague
eccentric scientist at Set Enterprises’ laboratories, London, England

“There is a division in the world today between objective reality and a fictional narrative as presented by the mainstream media.
Despite overwhelming objective evidence of a massive electoral fraud never before seen in U.S. history, the mainstream media insist that Biden won legitimately and even proclaimed him President-elect yesterday even though the vote counts haven’t been finished yet and the recounts haven’t even begun.
Biden and Covid-19 are both holograms (artificial realities) created by global elitists to pave the way for their Great Reset New World Order.
Biden and Covid-19 will be used until such time as they have served their purpose and will then be replaced by two new holograms Covid-21 and Kamala Harris when the Great Reset finally comes into view.”
-Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano in a letter dated and released Sunday November 8th 2020.

Michelangelo the Psychic lobster noted that the Vigano letter was indeed objective reality and other statements might be attributed to a Calgary based geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative which was much more interesting and definitely better written than the mainstream media’s fictional narrative (although the geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative contained more kernels of truth than the mainstream Marxist media’s fictional narrative ever could).

Michelangelo went back under the water and had his breakfast.

A Haitian witch doctor (who was Hillary Clinton’s personal voodoo instructor) had been brought in last week to raise Confederate soldiers and KKK members from the dead to go to the polls and vote in favour of Joe Biden.

After all Joe Biden had been a very good friend of KKK Democratic Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia who kicked the bucket back in 2010 and Biden had given a glowing eulogy at the latter’s funeral.

Biden had made numerous racist and anti-black statements over the years including his most recent, “If you’re a black who’s going to vote for Trump, then you ain’t black enough.”

Despite being a white supremacist and associating with Klansmen, he had pledged allegiance to both Xi Jinping and the coming Great Reset New World Order.

And that was all the global elitists, the mainstream Marxist media and the Neo-Maoist social media global tech giants (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google) cared about.

The Norse god Loki had used the asshole of his son the Norse World Serpent Jormungandr to shit ballots for the Biden-Harris ticket out of his ass to use in the states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania as well as the states of North Carolina, Georgia and Arizona.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Loki.

In order for Jormungandr to shit Biden-Harris ballots out of his ass, he had to release his tail out of his mouth.

For Jormungandr was an ouroboros a serpent who swallowed his own tail.

Suddenly a thought hit Loki.

An old Norse prophecy said that when Jormungandr released his tail from his mouth, the Battle of Ragnarok (the Norse Apocalypse and the Norse equivalent of the Biblical Battle of Armageddon) would begin.

And he Loki would die at Ragnarok.

“Oh shit,” Loki began hitting his forehead, “Oh, what a dummy.Oh, what a dummy.”

Meanwhile Loki’s son Fenrir the great Norse wolf was happily frolicking through the snow.

Dr. Marmalade Montague of Set Enterprises was looking at a blown up slide of the genome of the Covid-19 virus after Michelangelo had brought it into clearer focus with his lobster claws.

He was shocked to see something in the genome of the Covid-19 virus that no one else had seen before.

There clearly inserted into the genome was a photographic image of the Norse wolf Fenrir frolicking in the snow.

Pope Francis was having a conversation with one of his Cardinals Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

“I wish someone would rid me of this troublesome Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano,” Francis moaned.

“Well, I think there’s been a wide supply of poisons available in the Vatican since the days of the Renaissance hasn’t there been, your Non-Holiness?” Cardinal Salaman asked.

The ghost of Lucrezia Borgia wandered through the room carrying a spectral bottle of poison while Amorous Laeticia (the pet black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft) hid her large saucer of Baileys Irish Cream (that she preferred to milk) in a safe place that Lucrezia wouldn’t be able to tamper with.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 8th
2020.

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The Norse Wolf Fenrir Visits Israel

July 26, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Norse wolf Fenrir looked at the Rolex watch on his paw and realized that the Battle of Ragnarok wasn’t ready to begin just yet.

So he decided to go on another sightseeing tour somewhere in the world.

Today he chose Israel.

He danced with short skirted young Hebrew hotties in the most swinging nightclubs of Tel Aviv.

In Renfield R. Renfield like fashion, he had a hot fudge sundae poured over his head when he made an inappropriate pass at Wonder Woman film star Gal Gadot.

He then tried fishing in the Sea of Galilee where he didn’t have much luck catching fish either.

He stopped off in the village of Cana of Galilee where an archaeological dig was taking place.

The archaeologist was busy digging up 2000 year old bottles of wine.

Fenrir wondered what a 2000 year old bottle of wine tasted like and helped himself.

“God,” Fenrir thought to himself, “this is the best tasting wine I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

He then proceeded to drink up the other 11 excavated bottles of the 2000 year old wine.

He then stumbled his way to Jerusalem singing, “Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of fun, hic! for the gang’s all here…”

When he reached the Temple Mount, he wasn’t feeling so good.

So the Norse wolf Fenrir vomited all over the Temple Mount.

What came out in the flow of vomit was the undigested head of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) that he had eaten a few months earlier.

As Fenrir stumbled his way in search of a pharmacy to cure his hang-over, he left the head behind on the Temple Mount.

Palestinians heading for prayer on the Haram al-Sharif were angry when they saw the head of Hecate and shouted towards a group of Jews praying at the Western Wall, “You’ve desecrated our place of prayer by dumping this head here.”

The Jews angrily responded, “What do you mean? Cutting people’s heads off is a Muslim thing. That is when you’re not busy blowing yourselves up and blowing up other people in the process. We don’t do severed heads. Our weapons are Uzis, tanks, missiles and planes.”

The exchange sparked more violence and another day of rioting.

Such was the climate to be found in the City of Peace.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 26th
2017.

Gal Gadot
Gal Gadot: Poured hot fudge sundae over the all paws and awfully fresh Norse wolf Fenrir.

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The Cat Who Ate Wolves For Breakfast (Plus Lunch and Supper)

April 20, 2017 at 5:03 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Russian Spetsnaz special forces who had parachuted into Kiev last Thursday under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith were werewolves.

They were a special type of werewolf.

Each soldier was a bodark werewolf.

A bodark is a person who wants to become a werewolf in Russia (as opposed to a a wawkalak who was just turned into a werewolf through the evil actions of the Devil).

To become a bodark, a person would run into a forest and stab a copper knife into a tree (while such an action might be pleasing to manufacturers of copper knives as well as those with huge investments in the copper industry, the undertaking doesn’t go over so well with Greenpeace and tree huggers everywhere).

While still holding on to the knife in the innocently stabbed tree, the would-be bodark is required to repeat this chant:

“On the sea, on the ocean, on the island, on Bujan,
On the empty pasture gleams the moon, on an ashstock lying
In a green wood, in a gloomy vale.
Toward the stock wandereth a shaggy wolf.
Horned cattle seeking for his sharp white fangs;
But the wolf enters not the forest,
But the wolf dives not into the shadowy vale,
Moon, moon, gold-horned moon,
Cheek the flight of bullets, blunt the hunters’ knives,
Break the shepherds’ cudgels,
Cast wild fear upon all cattle,
On men, on all creeping things,
That they may not catch the grey wolf,
That they may not rend his warm skin
My word is binding, more binding than sleep,
More binding than the promise of a hero!”

Once the tree has been stabbed and the incantation chanted (with Taylor Swift singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture” in the background), the person runs off into a forest and changes into a werewolf as he does so.

Once these Russian Spetsnaz special forces soldiers had become full-fledged grey wolf bodark werewolves, Vladimir Putin put these men under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a secret treaty he signed with her shortly after his 2014 annexation of Crimea.

Lilith’s Bodark Grey Wolf Squadron did not turn into werewolves during a full moon.

Instead they turned into werewolves after listening to an old Gramophone recording of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem in concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (under a never revealed protocol of the Tehran Conference that was held from November 28th to December 1st 1943, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir were secretly flown to Moscow on December 26th 1943 (thereby missing out on Utah Boxing Day sales) to make the recording in musical choral accompaniment with Josef Stalin.

As Lilith played the recording turning the Russian Spetsnaz special forces commandos into grey wolf bodark werewolves, another grey wolf was walking the streets of Kiev.

The grey wolf was none other than the ancient Germanic god Wotan’s mortal son Adolf Hitler.

He had been granted permission to leave the Underworld by Hades and Persephone after Thor paid a visit on Odin/Wotan’s behalf requesting that they do so.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf stopped in its tracks when it heard the voice of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf visualized the Hungarian actor Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula saying, “Listen to him, the constipated dictator of the night. What a racket he makes.”

When the Gramophone finished playing and the commandos became grey wolf bodark werewolves, they were immediately attacked and eaten by a giant black cat.

The name of the giant black cat was Amorous Laetitia (whose name had inspired the title of a recent papal document although the first name was spelled differently in the Apostolic Exhortation).

Amorous Laetitia was the name of the personal pet cat and familiar of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate had recently been beheaded by Pan Goatee’s astrally projected laser machete while she was in her crone form.

The head had been taken to a New York City cryogenics lab but the lab had been broken into by Loki and Fenrir and Fenrir had eaten the head.

Since then, Amorous Laetitia had torn apart every wolf she had come across in hopes she’d find her mistress’ head.

When she didn’t find it, she just ate the rest of the disemboweled wolf,

After seeing the black cat Amorous Laetitia eat the Spetsnaz bodarks, the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf ran down an alley and entered a building for safety.

The building turned out to be Brodsky Synagogue which was Kiev’s largest.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf could not help but think that the gods of the universe were playing some sort of cosmic joke on him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 20th
2017.

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Magog Rhys Petley, Silvio Berlusconi and Fenrir

November 12, 2011 at 10:19 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Welsh Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was asleep in his room in London.

The phone rang.

He picked up the receiver.

It was former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who had just resigned as Prime Minister of Italy hours earlier.

“Hello old friend,” Berlusconi said, “just wanted you to know that I’ve resigned.”

“Old friend?” Magog Rhys Petley was confused, “but we only met once. And you’re a monopolistic capitalist businessman while I’m a former union leader not to mention an openly Marxist far-Left member of the British Labour Party.”

“Yes but seeing as how we had such a fun time at that bunga-bunga party of mine which you attended earlier this year,” Berlusconi laughed, “I now consider you an old friend despite our radical political differences.”

Magog Rhys Petley’s cheeks turned red when he thought of what he had done at that “bunga-bunga” party of Berlusconi’s.

They talked for a while and then Berlusconi wished Rhys Petley a good night.

As Rhys Petley put the phone down, he thought he noticed a wolf’s shadow appearing on the moonlit corner of his darkened bedroom.

Rhys Petley ran over to the mirror fearing that he was once again turning into a werewolf.

But he wasn’t.

Rhys Petley breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

Outside on the streets of London, that ancient Norse wolf Fenrir walked the streets and avenues casting a huge gigantic shadow as he walked.

For the drumbeats of Ragnarok were sounding.

To be continued.

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