Pan Goatee Tries His Hand At Reality Therapy While Renfield Muses On Brexit and The Irish Backstop

September 9, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Tries His Hand At Reality Therapy While Renfield Muses On Brexit and The Irish Backstop

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was headed to the food court of the neighbourhood mall when suddenly he encountered a repulsively ugly looking white female that was a semi-human stoat hybrid.

The ugly looking creature seemed to be walking from the public library across the square.

Goatee correctly deduced that she was walking from the public library because like all people who are both female and ugly, she no doubt fancied herself an intellectual – something common to these creatures who thought that being both female and ugly automatically put them in that category of society known as intellectuals.

Goatee knew that this was faulty slop shodded reasoning because the most intellectual woman he had ever encountered in his life was a beautiful Malaysian woman who resided in a quiet Bavarian village.

“You pathetic ugly looking loser!” Goatee discoursed in therapeutic commentary that was never heard on TV programs like Dr. Phil as he beheaded the creature from the dung heaps of Beelzebub.

Meanwhile over in England, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a discussion on Brexit and the Irish backstop with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“There is now of course thanks to my date with the vampiress Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna this past Saturday the possibility that Poland, Hungary or the Czech Republic if not all 3 will veto any extension to Brexit going on beyond October 31st of this year,” Renfield ate a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top.

“I hear pro-New World Order EU nations may also veto any EU deal on Brexit if it doesn’t exactly resemble the deal negotiated by Theresa May,” Amadeus noted.

“They have,” Renfield nodded, “which is why I’ve sent a cable to Vladimir Putin saying the UK would secretly approve any annexation of the said EU nations to the Russian Federation should Putin wish to go ahead with something like that.”

“I see,” Amadeus started to eat his own slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

“Boris Johnson seemed to have quite an amenable meeting with Irish Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Leo Varadkar today,” Renfield started eating his Guinness laced shepherd’s pie, “It seems Varadkar is quite amiable to the idea of the backstop applying to Northern Ireland only instead of the United Kingdom as a whole. Unlike the Neo-Stalinist assholes in the EU bureaucracy in Brussels who want all of Britain to remain under the thumb of EU directives as EU bureaucrats seek to establish their idea of a Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis Soviet United States of Europe which is definitely a recipe for a disaster in the making.”

“But won’t the Democratic Unionist Party remove their support from the British Conservative government given that they’re staunchly opposed to a Northern Ireland only backstop?” Amadeus queried.

“Of course the ghosts of both Winston Churchill and Orson Welles have informed me that the ghost of the Democratic Unionist Party’s founding leader the Rev. Ian Paisley is roasting away on a barbecue spit in Purgatory which is even more offensive to his Irish Scots Presbyterian sensibilities than if he was roasting away on a barbecue spit in the flames of Tartarus itself,” Renfield answered.

“Well despite Rev. Paisley discovering the Hell that Catholic doctrine is in fact true even though the current head of the Catholic Church Pope Francis no longer believes in Catholic doctrine, how does this take away from the fact that the DUP (Democratic Unionist Party) is staunchly opposed to a Northern Ireland only backstop?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Well,” Renfield poured more Guinness on his shepherd’s pie, “I’ve already advised Boris Johnson to tell the Democratic Unionist Party to go fuck themselves.”

“Even though that’s biologically physically anatomically impossible,” Amadeus noted.

“Exactly,” Renfield grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday September 9th
2019.

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Renfield’s Night of Chopin

September 7, 2019 at 11:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Sports, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Night of Chopin

“Well, you’re looking positively dapper,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to his friend the British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Thanks,” said Renfield who was wearing a tux and tie, “I’m going to An Evening of Chopin put on by the Saint James Court Symphony Orchestra.”

“I seem to recall you went to a similar concert back in September 2012,” Amadeus remarked who had a memory for such things.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “That was the night I met the Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna.”

“Wasn’t she the vampiress who bumped off Lenin back in 1924?” Amadeus inquired.

“She was,” Renfield started whistling the old Russian Czarist National Anthem.

“And didn’t she also flee Poland the night Nazi Germany invaded the country?” Amadeus was trying to remember, “She flew here to London where she was instrumental in helping set up the Polish Government In Exile in London?”.

“She did that as well,” Renfield remembered after several attempts that he didn’t really have to tie a bow tie, “I’m looking forward to seeing her again.”

“I imagine you are,” Amadeus opened the door of the house where the pizza he had ordered was now being delivered.

“I’m planning to ask her for a favour,” Renfield started polishing his teeth with a rock polisher.

“What would that be?” Amadeus opened up the box of the 72-inch pizza he had ordered.

“I’m going to ask her to ask her friends in the Polish government to veto any extension to Brexit past the October 31st Halloween deadline,” Renfield grinned, “any vote to extend the deadline must require the approval of all EU members. She also has several vampiress friends who live in Hungary and the Czech Republic. I’ll get her to ask her vampiress friends in Hungary and the Czech Republic to get those governments to veto the Brexit extension as well. Because 3 vetoes are even better than one. The Neo-Stalinist bureaucrats in Brussels and Jeremy Corbyn will really be shitting themselves once that happens.”

“Does Boris Johnson approve?” Amadeus asked.

“I haven’t told him yet,” Renfield started to put his plaid socks on.

“There’s some talk Johnson might resign as Prime Minister and ask the Queen to ask Corbyn to form a caretaker government sticking him with the whole Halloween Brexit deadline mess,” Amadeus noted.

“That could happen as well,” Renfield nodded, “This past Thursday Benjamin Netanyahu visited London to ask Boris to join him and the U.S. into waging war on Iran.”

“Really?” Amadeus was shocked, “I imagine Jeremy Corbyn if he was Prime Minister would give Netanyahu a definite no on that.”

“Undoubtedly,” Renfield brushed his hair and started slapping on men’s aftershave cologne.

“I saw Dracul Van Helsing in a pub earlier today,” Amadeus said, “He was having trouble deciding who to cheer for in the U.S. Open Women’s Tennis Final. Serena Williams is both his favourite tennis player and also his favourite athlete. So normally he’d cheer for her but then her opponent Bianca Andreescu is Canadian so his patriotic response would have been to cheer for her. So he sat there watching the tennis match not sure who to cheer for.”

“I’m sure another night of tantric sex with the Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom Sophia and Dracul will be happy again,” Renfield put on his Donald Duck feet slippers and headed out the door to the concert.

“I’m sure the London paparazzi will enjoy taking photos of what Renfield is wearing,” Amadeus remarked as he watched his friend go out the door.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 7th
2019.


Passing the torch: Serena Williams and Bianca Andreescu at the U.S. Open Women’s Tennis Final.
Dracul Van Helsing wasn’t sure who to cheer for.

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80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

September 1, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

Eighty years ago today at dawn on the morning of September 1st 1939, the German Luftwaffe (Air Force) bombed the Polish city of Wielun a town with no military significance whatsoever. Its sole purpose was to sow terror among Poland’s civilian population. Thousands of people died in the bombings.

At the same time in the Polish coastal city of Gdansk, Nazi German battleships attacked the Polish military base of Westerplatte in that city.

In Warsaw at the same time, a group of men in black who were Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and some of his associates had raided the palatial estate of the Polish vampiress Countess Elena Dubrovna and were looking for her coffin hoping to take her back to Berlin where Heinrich Himmler and Der Fuhrer might make use of her.

They couldn’t find her.

. . .

On January 25th 1938, Heinrich Himmler the head of the SS had given the order for 12 SS officers to perform the ultimate sacrifice for the Fatherland.

They were to allow themselves to be beheaded and their heads would be kept alive in laboratories.

Their heads and minds would concentrate on developing their psychic powers and try to reach a level where they would be able to communicate with the Ascended Masters of the Himalayas who were the progenitors of the Aryan race according to Nazi SS teaching.

On February 14th 1938, the 12 SS officers were finally selected and they were subsequently beheaded after a night of tantric sex with the most luscious and lovely Aryan maidens.

On Lammas Night August 1st 1939, the 12 heads were overshadowed by the Ascended Masters who told Himmler that now was the time to invade Poland.

Himmler communicated the message to Der Fuhrer.

Arrangements were made for a non-aggression pact to be signed with the Soviet Union on August 23rd 1939.

On September 1st 1939, Poland was invaded by the forces of the Third Reich.

World War II had officially begun.

. . .

In London, England on September 1st 2019, an official of Germany’s Federal Intelligence Service (BND) was meeting with an official of Russia’s Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR).

Said a shocked Comrade Stroganoff to a smiling Herr Hanover, “You mean those 12 SS heads are still alive today?”.

“They are,” Herr Hanover nodded.

“Where are they?” Comrade Stroganoff asked.

“Attached to tubes and wires and bubbling away on Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico,” Herr Hanover downed a shooter called Doctor Frankenstein.

“On Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Comrade Stroganoff was flabbergasted, “What was a person of Jewish ancestry doing with the living disembodied heads of 12 SS officers who were beheaded way back in 1938?”.

“You might as well ask what was a person of Jewish ancestry like Jeffrey Epstein doing utilizing a eugenics breeding program to create a master race on his Zorro Ranch? Similar to a eugenics breeding program envisioned by the likes of SS leader Heinrich Himmler?” Herr Hanover shrugged, “The guy was a nut case as well as a pervert.”

“Do the Americans know about the 12 SS officers’ living disembodied heads on Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Stroganoff asked.

“No,” Herr Hanover shook his head, “Otherwise the place would have been raided now by American authorities. Girls being raped by perverts and pedophiles isn’t enough to send the FBI crawling over the ranch with a fine tooth comb. But if a source of esoteric power capable of communicating with higher beings in another dimension was known to be on the ranch, all manner of U.S. government agencies would be falling over one another trying to find the heads.”

“So it’s agreed then that Germany and Russia will share the heads after our joint forces clandestinely raid the ranch?” Said Stroganoff.

“Ja,” Hanover answered in the German affirmative, “Six for us. And six for you.”

Former DARPA contract assassiness Panty Goatee watched the two intelligence officers sitting in their outdoor cafe sidewalk chairs from nearby stairs.

She reached under her skirt, pulled out a gun that sat just above her pantyhose line and shot both intelligence operatives dead.

She then met with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a nearby cocktail lounge where she related what she had overheard.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Sunday September 1st
2019.

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The Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna and Lenin’s Death

August 11, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

The Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna and Lenin’s Death

The Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna had lost both her father and her brother in the Battle of Warsaw that was fought between August 12th and August 25th 1920.

The battle called by historians The Miracle On The Vistula because it stopped Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army from advancing and conquering Western Europe.

The Red Army had reached all the way to Warsaw and looked to be on the verge of victory at the start of the battle.

But on August 16th 1920, Polish forces commanded by Marshal Josef Pilsudski counterattacked from the south disrupting the Red Army offensive and forced the Red Army eastward and behind the Neman River.

Several more Polish victories saved Poland’s independence and led to a peace treaty between Poland and the Soviet republics of Russia and Ukraine signed on March 18th 1921.

The treaty was known as the Peace of Riga because it was signed in Riga, Latvia.

It put a formal end to the Polish-Soviet War (that was fought from February 14th 1919- March 18th 1921).

As a result of the peace treaty, Poland took control of modern day western Ukraine and modern day western Belarus.

It was a situation that would last until the outbreak of the Second World War in September 1939.

Even though her beloved Polish homeland was saved, Countess Elena Dubrovna never forgave Soviet forces for her father’s and brother’s deaths at the Battle of Warsaw.

She swore that she would personally kill Lenin the head of Soviet Russia.

But how was she, a young woman in her early 20s, going to go all the way to Moscow and get past Lenin’s guards and kill the Russian Soviet leader?

Especially as she wanted to find a way to give him a slow and painful death.

It was New Year’s Day 1924 just shortly after 2 AM and the Soviet leader was heading back to his office after engaging in mild New Year’s celebrations (for the austere almost puritanical Lenin was not much of a party animal).

He stopped when he saw this vision in front of him:

The Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna.

Feeling as if the sun was rising from the south, the usually puritanical Lenin stopped and kissed the woman’s gloved hand.

That was when a sharp object was inserted into Lenin’s head.

This would lead to Lenin’s eventual death from a hemorrhagic stroke on January 21st 1924.
A hemorrhagic stroke is when blood from an artery begins bleeding into the brain. This happens when a weakened blood vessel bursts and bleeds into the surrounding brain. Pressure from the leaked blood damages brain cells and as a result the damaged area is unable to function properly.

It would be a slow painful 20 days for Lenin to die when he finally died on January 21st 1924.

And what was the sharp object inserted into Lenin’s head?

Countess Elena Dubrovna wiped the blood off her fangs.

Encountering the Countess Draculina (daughter of Count Dracula) at Castle Dracula in the Carpathians had been the best thing to ever happen to Elena as far as her mission of revenge went.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Sunday August 11th
2019.

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